(02-13-2019, 02:35 AM)Username Wrote: [ -> ] (02-12-2019, 10:30 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (02-12-2019, 08:46 AM)Username Wrote: [ -> ]@Shannon
You said few pages back:"There's nothing wrong with that. I'm closer now to a balance between the two, but I am definitely an introvert, as I need time alone to recharge; dealing with people - especially in person - eventually exhausts me."
This is a great example, how your own brain needs much more adjustment... Introversion is just a label to the deeper processes that are going on, not a hardwired in your brain. Extraversion is the norm, but if you grow up surrounded by negative people... You just learn to close up. Underneath is the same old friend... Fear... Communicating with other people is associated with negative, and it is exhausting, cause running on fear just needs more energy. People have a fear of expressing certain emotions and so they are carrying around that big bag of stuff, that otherwise wouldn't be there... My humble suggestion would be to use your own work to deal with it.
But Im sure your subc comes up with all the great excuses not to... Haha :p... Cause that quote just sounds like a nice little rationalization to avoid seeing things as they are, to begin with.
Where do you come up with "extraversion is the norm"? There are two poles here, it's not a monopole. The norm is a point on a spectrum between the two.
You seem to be giving me some arrogant snark here. You can keep it. You don't know everything you think you know.
Nope, it's not about knowing... But understanding. What's behind labels of language. There are no poles or spectrum in the brain, only patterns of behavior. And extraversion is more healthy than the opposite. If you chain your dog and beat him every day, he's going to be a one hell of a mean and angry dog, who doesn't trust humans and sees them as enemies. And it's completely normal reaction to the environment. It's the same way with introverts, they have formed an idea, that expressing oneself to other people is a "hot stove" . So they constantly need to find other outlets and recharge them. And your reaction was quite predictable... a typical introvert's defensive way of interpreting and handling everything. But obviously, I'm just telling you, how I see things.... your behavior and choices your own business. I was just hoping that you, of all people, were a bit more open minded about it.
You sound like someone I know who has a Ph.D. in psychology, and thinks she knows everything. So much so, in fact that she believes that most of the psychological world is wrong, because she refuses to believe there is a subconscious mind. She's convinced that there is no way I could be doing what I am doing and have been doing since long before I met her in 2006 because of that.
You started off with snarky arrogant comment that communicated that you thought you were smarter/better/better educated than me because I didn't see things your way. Now you're claiming that your way is the only way, and playing the
Quote:But obviously, I'm just telling you, how I see things.... your behavior and choices your own business. I was just hoping that you, of all people, were a bit more open minded about it.
card. Which is basically saying, "I'm right, and obviously, if you don't think so, you're proving my point that your knowledge and understanding is inferior."
Quote:And extraversion is more healthy than the opposite.
That is debatable, especially since it is very likely an innate trait of certain personality types to be strongly receptive and introverted as a result. Sounds like you're an extrovert who has no real understanding of introversion, but is looking through a window at it spouting what someone else told you.
Quote:There are no poles or spectrum in the brain, only patterns of behavior.
The brain isn't what we are talking about here, we are talking about the awareness and how it expresses itself and deals with it's environment. The awareness isn't physical, and it uses the physical brain as a focal point into the physical reality of the body. The poles and spectrums are what we can use to describe the behavior, choices and level of introversion or extroversion. Patterns of behavior and emotional states and responses fall onto a spectrum between possible extremes of expression. One isn't 100% introverted or 100% extroverted, or 100% gay or 100% straight, or 100% anything. We are, and our experiences, awarenesses and expressions and reactions are, a complex mix of many factors and variables being at some point between two possible extremes.
Quote:It's the same way with introverts, they have formed an idea, that expressing oneself to other people is a "hot stove" .
That is certainly possible for some, but not all cases of introversion are explained like that. There are those introverts for whom communicating with and dealing with others is simply more exhausting than for others. It requires a lot more effort and energy to make ourselves understood by others. In many cases, regardless of energy expended or effort, it doesn't work. Introverts of this sort commonly withdraw because they can't find a way to be understood, and because it is exhausting for them to do so. It also deals with levels of frustration in dealing with others as a result, and learning that getting upset at that frustration is not publicly acceptable because, again, nobody understands.
Quote:So they constantly need to find other outlets and recharge them.
When I need to recharge it's because I have been around people who require a lot of effort and energy to deal with. It's usually a situation where they are draining my energy in some way, grating on my nerves, have no understanding of what I am dealing with, or require an unusually large amount of effort on my part to make them comprehend what I am trying to communicate. Putting up with this situation is expensive and exhausting energy-wise. I'm sure it's true for many introverts. I would say you seem to have a very poor understanding of introverts.
Quote:And your reaction was quite predictable... a typical introvert's defensive way of interpreting and handling everything.
My reaction was indeed predictable, because it's how a normal person would react to asinine snarky comments.
What you fail to realize is that what you state as fact is a theory. It may apply to some, but it does not apply to everyone. And it obviously does not come from the point of view of having experienced what life is like from the point of view of having been more introverted than extroverted.
Just for your information, though, I socialize a lot. I know, by name, and they know me by name, the majority of the servers in my city, and a number of servers in nearby cities. Going out to eat dinner is typically my only chance to socialize with someone other than my gf because I work so much. So when I go out to eat, I talk to the people around me and enjoy the company of the staff of the restaurant I attend. I am not exactly a major introvert. It's pretty well balanced. I used to be a lot more introverted, but over the years I have overcome a lot of the fears that led to that and now I'm freer to socialize and express myself. That doesn't mean I still don't have the issues with exhaustion when I deal with people who require a lot of extra energy to deal with, for those reasons listed above.
Introversion and extroversion are expressions of potentials inherent in the receptive or expressive components of the personality as they are being expressed as a conglomerate whole. As these parts are expressed more or less, or their polarity is shifted to a different polarity, one may become more or less introverted or extroverted.
But you would know that, because you know introverts so well, wouldn't you.
Take a look at how you are coming across to others. You come across as being arrogant and snarky with this stuff. Maybe you understand what you've been taught, but there's more out there than just that.