(10-31-2016, 07:27 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (10-31-2016, 06:54 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-31-2016, 06:20 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ] (10-31-2016, 01:41 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (10-31-2016, 01:36 AM)Pau Ko Wrote: [ -> ]5.5G is SO AWESOME&POWERFUL that I would love to buy, if not everything, at least few titles in 5.5G, such as Ultra Success&Ultra Motivation, MIR, MHS, MLS, Writer's sub...
Contrarily, I'm trying to keep as few titles built in 5.5G as possible so I don't have to spend forever upgrading them... 
But I am more and more thinking of creating US and PTPA in 5.5G. GF is stuck in failure based thinking, and I'm basically doing all the work to get her bakery business started because of it. Not making me happy.
Even though I'm looking forward to 6G getting unleashed ASAP as any other guy or gal, I can't say I'm not excited at the prospect of getting my paws on US updated with newer tech.
Hopefully it helps your girlfriend, too. I've been there, trying to help someone through their fears going into a brand new venture, finally succeeding - still, it's a terrible drag on one's energy and a detraction from one's own goals.
PTPA is Positive Thinking, Positive Attitude, right?
Yes. Right now she's addicted to failure based thinking.
While you're at it, you might as well throw UM + LM + EIP + LLFC + Optimal Health in there too, right?
=D
Hey, why stop there? Let's put ALL of them in one! Hehe
When I work on US I'll see what makes sense to do.
Shannon, I've been doing a lot of ignoring guys who try to AMOG me and I thought I was doing the right thing but now I don't know. I feel simultaneously fear and contempt for them because I know that I am more alpha than them but at the same time they are the one initiating everything, making the insults/confrontations etc. and I'm just the one sitting there taking it like a good little boy. It's either keep telling them to fuck off and risk looking like a whiney bitch (I'm terrible with language in situations where I don't have time to think through my answer) or ignore them, but I'm just sitting there taking shit from a beta male acting like he's some big shot who's better than me.
Funny enough a roomate who constantly refers to himself as "the King" (weird how I actually have 2 guys in my doorm like this (both of which are betas but not quite as beta as the average guy, but they act confrontational all the time out of insecurity) and a third who constantly makes sarcastic remarks, my worst nightmares, think these situations manifested for my growth) taunted me, as he often does, and I just look at him and then turn back to my chess game sitting there dealing with the fear and hoping the fear doesn't fuel his ego which makes him more like this (it's very annoying, because if I actually engage, I'll win, but that's not being an ascendant alpha because an ascendant alpha doesn't need to waste his time on petty shit like that.) he actually says "he does this when he's scared". Wtf, he knew lol. Annoying too because he amps this type of shit up (all betas do) around girls to try and basically increase his status by decreasing mine.
I'm trying to have power by not engaging in this kind of bullshit and wasting my time, but at the same time it's like I'm getting laid into over and over taking this kind of shit from lesser males and it's taking a toll on my general wellbeing. Hmm I think I have my answer, I just needed to write all this. Gonna just tell them to shut the fuck up. Hmm, whenever I act like that though everyone seems to not like it but when I let loose on the guy who always makes sarcastic remarks to me he's been nicer ever since.
(10-31-2016, 12:35 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, I've been doing a lot of ignoring guys who try to AMOG me and I thought I was doing the right thing but now I don't know. I feel simultaneously fear and contempt for them because I know that I am more alpha than them but at the same time they are the one initiating everything, making the insults/confrontations etc. and I'm just the one sitting there taking it like a good little boy. It's either keep telling them to **** off and risk looking like a whiney bitch (I'm terrible with language in situations where I don't have time to think through my answer) or ignore them, but I'm just sitting there taking shit from a beta male acting like he's some big shot who's better than me.
Funny enough a roomate who constantly refers to himself as "the King" (weird how I actually have 2 guys in my doorm like this (both of which are betas but not quite as beta as the average guy, but they act confrontational all the time out of insecurity) and a third who constantly makes sarcastic remarks, my worst nightmares, think these situations manifested for my growth) taunted me, as he often does, and I just look at him and then turn back to my chess game sitting there dealing with the fear and hoping the fear doesn't fuel his ego which makes him more like this (it's very annoying, because if I actually engage, I'll win, but that's not being an ascendant alpha because an ascendant alpha doesn't need to waste his time on petty shit like that.) he actually says "he does this when he's scared". Wtf, he knew lol. Annoying too because he amps this type of shit up (all betas do) around girls to try and basically increase his status by decreasing mine.
I'm trying to have power by not engaging in this kind of ***** and wasting my time, but at the same time it's like I'm getting laid into over and over taking this kind of shit from lesser males and it's taking a toll on my general wellbeing. Hmm I think I have my answer, I just needed to write all this. Gonna just tell them to shut the **** up. Hmm, whenever I act like that though everyone seems to not like it but when I let loose on the guy who always makes sarcastic remarks to me he's been nicer ever since.
You're trying too hard. You are attempting to define what an ascendant alpha does, and then do that. Ascendant alpha doesn't have to do that. Once you're there, you just do what comes naturally.
What I do is usually try to understand the psychology behind what they are doing and why, and then determine my response based on what works best for that. If he's admitted to doing X when he's scared, you could say something like... "Oh, I remember you said you only act idiotic like this when you're feeling insecure." You can add a variety of things to it to adjust it to the situation, but...
This statement, said the right way, will shut him down cold. Here's why - which is what you need to understand to be able to hold your own verbally in the moment as best you can.
If he is attacking out of fear, it means he feels fear. Why? Probably because he feels like he is outclassed by his current company (you). POINT THAT OUT, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. This destroys his attack because not only have you maintained a calm composure, but you've revealed his attack as the actions of a frightened idiot. And instead of just SAYING that's what it is, you use his own words to prove it!
I have a couple of friends who like to do things to taunt me. The goal is to get me riled up. As long as I get upset, they keeps doing it. When I realized that, I simply ignore what they're doing, and they get bored and stop. There is literally nothing else to do in that situation... they're both bigger and stronger than me, in better health and I can't physically force them to stop.
So first understand what is being done and WHY. Then determine what will defeat the behavior, and do that. Sarcasm and embarrassment usually works wonders. Some people are shameless and clueless enough that it doesn't.
No I was saying that he's saying that I do that when I'm scared (ignore him), not him. I don't think he's nessecerily right though just that I happen to have fear when I do that, not that I'm actually doing that out of fear (if you catch my drift, I have fear because I'm executing AM6, I'm not feeling fear and then looking away as a result. Correlation isn't causation and all that.)
Thanks though, your response was still insightful. I don't think it's quite the same in that they're trying to rile me up as much as I'm letting them gain a false sense of superiority, which I would be fine with if it didn't actually have an emotional affect on me. But what I've found so far is that when I do do something they often laugh and try to make it seem like I'm being too serious. I'm not sure whether this is fake or not but it does take the wind out of my sails a bit.
Right after I wrote that post I blew up at a guy who kept asking me for a ride. Told him to shut the fuck up and that I'm not everyone's taxi driver. I don't know though, often it's little things that irritate me and so if I blow up at them (like I want to) then its just inappropriate for a number of reasons (like these pseudo alphas trying to irritate me with - I take that back, these guys are like the friends you talked about - taunts/put downs that are veiled as them being playful.) I have a lot of emotional pain from my childhood of trying to stand up to people logically and being demeaned so that's an issue I have to overcome.
One of the keys to being a genuine alpha is self control.
If I go off on someone, you can rest assured that one of two things is true:
1. Either I choose to put them in their place, because nothing else worked...
2. Or, I am too low on blood sugar, sleep deprived AND frustrated, all at once. That's my trifecta and when that happens, I am known to seriously lose it. I go off so hard that I have learned to avoid that trifecta like the plague.
Self control goes off because they choose to, not because they snap.
What are you afraid of, and why?
I don't know for sure right now, maybe I would better be able to know in the moment that it is happening. It definitely comes from my past, so it is learned. I think it's self image related and also competency related. Like I don't feel like I can handle the situation and I think that I might get dominated in front of everybody and everybody will think I'm a pussy even know I know I'm not cause it's unfair cause AM6 has made me this badass but nobody else can see it. Like, I believe I'm a badass, but it feels like I can't prove it and it's like I've tried to skip over the part where I conquer everything and everybody and so I know I have achieved everything and it's like I'm trying to just be like, yeah I've achieved it already when I have nothing to back it up. Also I feel like I have a strong frame as far as ignoring shit, but I can't get what I want in a situation because my frame is weak in confrontation, that's the part that's frustrating. I want to be able to have control over my environment when I want something from it.
Oh, and I think this piece of information is key. My throat chakra is my main source of issue. It tenses up. It's like I have the self belief but no external "immune system" so to say.
I think right now my throat chakra is the bottle neck in my development.
So you fear the potential for confrontation in setting boundaries.
More work to do.
Funny you say that, I actually had a dream the other day that I was setting a boundary and I got scared because the guy got aggressive and wanted to start a fight. I'm able to set boundaries in situations where I know that there won't be prolonged confrontation and in controlled areas. That's how I was able to establish dominance over myself at my house with my mom and aunt, but I have trouble doing it in everyday life. It's harder the more people that are around.
Btw thank you, I was looking for an answer and now I understand what's happening and I have a clear direction now.
Oh yeah, and how do I overcome this fear? Is the only way to actually say fuck it and just do it despite the fear (I don't like to expose my emotions, I think that's part of the fear too I don't want to expose my emotions and be attacked) or do I just wait till AM6 handles it? If it doesn't get better by the end of this run do you recommend AM6 or E2?
Self mastery is a process, not a binary. Nobody here has got it 100% yet. You've obviously made a lot of progress. Keep going.
Just realized what I'm afraid of. Im scared of confrontation because I think that if I fail once then I'll get marked as a beta and wont have anywhere to draw my self image from.
(10-31-2016, 01:53 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Just realized what I'm afraid of. Im scared of confrontation because I think that if I fail once then I'll get marked as a beta and wont have anywhere to draw my self image from.
Why fear what others think of you? Why do you care?
Because it's a reflection of the situation inside my head. I don't have the strength to be emotionally vulnerable so I have an ego where I have to be seen a certain way to feel good about myself. This level of ego is called the "social role" so I need to be seen as special by others to feel validated.
I have a certain self image I've cultivated from reactions people have given me and when that gets challenged I fear my progress and everything I've worked for will go down the toilet as well.
I made a post awhile ago when you were gone about how there's this dissonance in my mind. Basically its like I'm the incredible hulk in my subconscious, but consciously I feel like a barbie. It sucks cause I wish I realized how alpha everyone else seems to think I am. Like they all react to my body language and shit but it's like there's something blocking me from actually DOING something with this alphaness. It's like having a nice painting; It looks good, but it doesn't serve a function.