(05-30-2016, 09:14 PM)ImFreeman Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Shannon, i've been thinking a lot about my own E2 run and i am starting to understand what you say when a program is too powerful/successful at what it does.
Did i overdo E2? I have used E2 for 82 days, for around 18hs a day. It worked *really well* so much it caused some problems balancing it with the rest of my life. For almost all the run i felt i was running on zero to almost zero willpower. It's like i woke up in the morning already having depleted my willpower? (is that resistance?), with no motivation to work/study/work out?. I was sleeping a LOT too. maybe up to 11 hours a day (8 at night and a 3 hour siesta...)
All in all it was a very successful although not a pleasant run, in the worst part of the storm i was having all kinds of thoughts about hipothetical shitty/fear ridden situations, and coming up with solutions, things to say and do under different situations and varieties. Also it's like my mind was coming up with the worst case scenario for those situations and coming with answers to those situations. Not pleasant at all, these things happened specially in the morning, i would wake up at 7am and spend up to 2hours ruminating in bed and having these whirlwind thoughts. After these dark clouds vanished i felt like i was flowing, confident in my ability to deal with those situations, until it started again some days later...
I am getting, a LOT of looks, not so much on the street, but when entering a place i can feel the looks and double takes. Everybody treats me extra nice, not like a child but like someone who is very liked by people. First time ever something like this happens to me... Awesome!!
All in all i am going to have a rest from E2 and start again MLS5g, as i have 3 important exams in a months time. E2 i would say is perfect to use in vacation time when i can really relax and forget a bit about responsabilities. I will definetly try to put 90 more days whenever i get the opportunity, but right now the responsabilities are piling up.
Yes the depletion of motivation is also something I faced during Stage 3 BASE. I didn't seem to care about business at all, but how was it supposed to make me a successful entrepreneur if all I cared was about thinking about life and enjoying every moment? I guess that's part of the attitude I needed to have, but I don't think taking 0 actions will help in this regard.
The worst realization was I didn't need to give a fvck about business, which literally terrified me
(05-30-2016, 09:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:46 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:42 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, when it comes to life goals and growth, is it possible that you can get worse before you get better? Or is getting worse a sign that you're not on your path?
I've been getting worse with women ever since starting to try and improve with them and I'm beginning to think I'm on the wrong path. What would you say?
Generally it is a sign that you're going the wrong direction in life.
Not always, but in my experience, usually. Most of the time.
Life's funny like that. You're welcome to have it your way, but your way doesn't change the world you live in. And if you want to go the wrong way, well, have fun. You'll be back when you figure that out. No matter how stubborn you want to be. 
But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
What's the difference between before and after? Are you following a different philosophy? Trying to game them more, following the player mindset, the PUA stuff? There's a lot of possible reasons. What are all the differences between now and the start of getting worse?
Thats a lot of stuff to consider. The stuff that stands out the most is that I'm doing your subs for starters. Accepted a more 'natural' way of interacting with women while being more accepting of them and trying to not hate them like I used to. In fact, I've said many times that when I can let myself hate women they go nuts for me, but it's hard cause I feel guilty and everyone tells me not to hate them.
I'm sure there's more but that's just off the top of my head. I'm also more "idgaf" then I've ever been.
It's like all the advise I'm following is wrong. I'm starting to see I shouldn't listen to people, but I keep doing it for some reason.
(05-30-2016, 09:07 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, I'm suddenly curious to know what Shannon the person is all about, how you became who you are today. You've revealed bits and pieces of your history on these forums over the years, some huge like your battle with cancer, some smaller in comparison like attracting certain women into your life or references to your photography career, but it might help some of us better understand your motivations for doing what you do how you do it if there was a convenient timeline/chronologically ordered account of the process of becoming "Shannon Matteson, 2016 and beyond" that you'd be willing to share with us.
I'm not looking to write a biography of you or anything like that, I'll leave that to better writers than myself 
; I'm simply looking to better understand as a student of life how you've gotten to this point in your life, this point in time, and what kind of efforts it took you to make it all happen.
Timeline? Seriously?
I have been through a lot of shit. When I faced challenge, I made the right choices. I chose success over failure, and doing the right thing over personal gain. I chose perseverance over giving up. I chose to believe in myself instead of believe the crap people told me to believe about myself. And when I genuinely tried to give up, I always had someone there to stop me.
Any more than that and I'll never get the description page of AOSI done with all these questions.
(05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
(05-30-2016, 09:14 PM)ImFreeman Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Shannon, i've been thinking a lot about my own E2 run and i am starting to understand what you say when a program is too powerful/successful at what it does.
It would not have been released if it was "too good at what it does".
Quote:Did i overdo E2? I have used E2 for 82 days, for around 18hs a day. It worked *really well* so much it caused some problems balancing it with the rest of my life. For almost all the run i felt i was running on zero to almost zero willpower. It's like i woke up in the morning already having depleted my willpower? (is that resistance?), with no motivation to work/study/work out?. I was sleeping a LOT too. maybe up to 11 hours a day (8 at night and a 3 hour siesta...)
You were using it significantly too many hours a day and exhausting yourself. That's not the program's fault.
Quote:All in all it was a very successful although not a pleasant run, in the worst part of the storm i was having all kinds of thoughts about hipothetical shitty/fear ridden situations, and coming up with solutions, things to say and do under different situations and varieties. Also it's like my mind was coming up with the worst case scenario for those situations and coming with answers to those situations. Not pleasant at all, these things happened specially in the morning, i would wake up at 7am and spend up to 2hours ruminating in bed and having these whirlwind thoughts. After these dark clouds vanished i felt like i was flowing, confident in my ability to deal with those situations, until it started again some days later...
Overload might do that. You can push too hard, you know.
Quote:I am getting, a LOT of looks, not so much on the street, but when entering a place i can feel the looks and double takes. Everybody treats me extra nice, not like a child but like someone who is very liked by people. First time ever something like this happens to me... Awesome!!
Good.
Quote:All in all i am going to have a rest from E2 and start again MLS5g, as i have 3 important exams in a months time. E2 i would say is perfect to use in vacation time when i can really relax and forget a bit about responsabilities. I will definetly try to put 90 more days whenever i get the opportunity, but right now the responsabilities are piling up.
I would say, don't try to apply 5G rules of usage time to a 5.5G program. Try it at 8, 6, 3 hours a day and see how that works at each level.
(05-30-2016, 09:15 PM)Jakeb203 Wrote: [ -> ]And sometimes I face a blockage in BASE. It's like the chest pain when you try to do opposite to what the program tries to accomplish. I am not sure if I should keep doing certain actions since it may be the subconscious telling me to stop doing certain things, or simply I need to keep pushing through. It happens every time I think about hitting hard during launch or doing a lot of preparations. Maybe it's telling me to enjoy life more? I feel very passive most of the time, don't understand why.
Blockage is resistance. Clear out the resistance by clearing out the blockage.
(05-30-2016, 09:20 PM)Jakeb203 Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 09:14 PM)ImFreeman Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Shannon, i've been thinking a lot about my own E2 run and i am starting to understand what you say when a program is too powerful/successful at what it does.
Did i overdo E2? I have used E2 for 82 days, for around 18hs a day. It worked *really well* so much it caused some problems balancing it with the rest of my life. For almost all the run i felt i was running on zero to almost zero willpower. It's like i woke up in the morning already having depleted my willpower? (is that resistance?), with no motivation to work/study/work out?. I was sleeping a LOT too. maybe up to 11 hours a day (8 at night and a 3 hour siesta...)
All in all it was a very successful although not a pleasant run, in the worst part of the storm i was having all kinds of thoughts about hipothetical shitty/fear ridden situations, and coming up with solutions, things to say and do under different situations and varieties. Also it's like my mind was coming up with the worst case scenario for those situations and coming with answers to those situations. Not pleasant at all, these things happened specially in the morning, i would wake up at 7am and spend up to 2hours ruminating in bed and having these whirlwind thoughts. After these dark clouds vanished i felt like i was flowing, confident in my ability to deal with those situations, until it started again some days later...
I am getting, a LOT of looks, not so much on the street, but when entering a place i can feel the looks and double takes. Everybody treats me extra nice, not like a child but like someone who is very liked by people. First time ever something like this happens to me... Awesome!!
All in all i am going to have a rest from E2 and start again MLS5g, as i have 3 important exams in a months time. E2 i would say is perfect to use in vacation time when i can really relax and forget a bit about responsabilities. I will definetly try to put 90 more days whenever i get the opportunity, but right now the responsabilities are piling up.
Yes the depletion of motivation is also something I faced during Stage 3 BASE. I didn't seem to care about business at all, but how was it supposed to make me a successful entrepreneur if all I cared was about thinking about life and enjoying every moment? I guess that's part of the attitude I needed to have, but I don't think taking 0 actions will help in this regard.
The worst realization was I didn't need to give a fvck about business, which literally terrified me
The depletion of motivation is caused by a fear of moving forward. Motivation is the result of looking forward to moving forward. What fear do you need to overcome?
(05-30-2016, 09:22 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 09:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:46 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:42 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, when it comes to life goals and growth, is it possible that you can get worse before you get better? Or is getting worse a sign that you're not on your path?
I've been getting worse with women ever since starting to try and improve with them and I'm beginning to think I'm on the wrong path. What would you say?
Generally it is a sign that you're going the wrong direction in life.
Not always, but in my experience, usually. Most of the time.
Life's funny like that. You're welcome to have it your way, but your way doesn't change the world you live in. And if you want to go the wrong way, well, have fun. You'll be back when you figure that out. No matter how stubborn you want to be.
But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
What's the difference between before and after? Are you following a different philosophy? Trying to game them more, following the player mindset, the PUA stuff? There's a lot of possible reasons. What are all the differences between now and the start of getting worse?
Thats a lot of stuff to consider. The stuff that stands out the most is that I'm doing your subs for starters. Accepted a more 'natural' way of interacting with women while being more accepting of them and trying to not hate them like I used to. In fact, I've said many times that when I can let myself hate women they go nuts for me, but it's hard cause I feel guilty and everyone tells me not to hate them.
I'm sure there's more but that's just off the top of my head. I'm also more "idgaf" then I've ever been.
It's like all the advise I'm following is wrong. I'm starting to see I shouldn't listen to people, but I keep doing it for some reason.
Ah, I see. Well, it sounds to me like you're in a transition state. Not quite one thing or the other, and in-congruent in both. Women don't like that, it confuses and scares them. The solution is to keep going until you achieve whatever you've been working to achieve.
You may also be attempting to follow contradictory advice. Pick one direction, and double down on it.
Internal resistance to change also seems to be a theme for you, which is based in fear 99.9999999% of the time. What do you fear?
Okay, so between working 18 hours last sleep cycle and being awakened too early by the damned robotic vacuum and my dogs, and then doing the forum stuff, I have no energy left to write the AOSI description page.
I'm taking off to go eat and maybe crash. I'll be back if I can muster some energy.
(05-30-2016, 09:32 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
Brilliant post, yet I have to cross examine.
If we are to look purely at results, we can say that we are in fact worse off than we were to begin with. Maybe we are coming from a better place, but this is hardly relevant if we are no longer as good as we once were.
What else is there to consider?
EDIT: BTW, what do you mean my end goal with women seems to have changed?
(05-30-2016, 09:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Ah, I see. Well, it sounds to me like you're in a transition state. Not quite one thing or the other, and in-congruent in both. Women don't like that, it confuses and scares them. The solution is to keep going until you achieve whatever you've been working to achieve.
You may also be attempting to follow contradictory advice. Pick one direction, and double down on it.
Internal resistance to change also seems to be a theme for you, which is based in fear 99.9999999% of the time. What do you fear?
But what I've been trying to achieve has been plagued by morality. When I first started getting good with women, it was purely to get sex from them. That's it. Now people tell me the only way to get sex is to not want to get sex and to see women as human beings, but that's not what I want, so wtf?
I had a woman go out with me once who told me I treated her. Like a human being and yet I can tell you honestly I didn't see her as anything. I'm thinking the only solution is to embrace that.
Yeah, contradictory advice is right "just be yourself" "learn to love women" myself doesn't love women. That kind of shit has been undermining my progress ever since I've got into pick up.
As for fear, I fear death. I never want to die.
(05-30-2016, 09:32 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
I believe the change in intent is something to be celebrated on. Fighters who fight with rage often lack clairvoyance. Think Wanderlei Silva and the now Shogun Rua. Their rage was very useful during the early years but now they are getting their ass handed after the aggression is gone. The best fighters of all time aren't often the most powerful. Despite Mike Tyson, there is also Anderson Silva, Alexander Gustafsson, Jon Jones and many others. They are technically savvy and have great mastery over their mind and body. But I definitely do agree fighting with slight rage will increase the flow in the cage. The best representation is Conor Mcgregor's style, always pushing and giving pressure yet isn't flooded by rage.
Sometimes I am amazed at how a change in mindset results in change in fighting style. Interesting discovery for users who do martial arts.
(05-30-2016, 09:45 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 09:32 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
Brilliant post, yet I have to cross examine.
If we are to look purely at results, we can say that we are in fact worse off than we were to begin with. Maybe we are coming from a better place, but this is hardly relevant if we are no longer as good as we once were.
What else is there to consider?
EDIT: BTW, what do you mean my end goal with women seems to have changed?
The issue is in defining the notion of "being worse off." While yes, I'm not winning as many matches as I have in the past, I'm also beyond relieved that I've let go of all that anger and rage that was fueling those "wins" in the first place. In the grand scheme of things, I can still handle myself against the random person on the street, and I'm sure I'll eventually learn how to wield my newly acquired mindset in the ring -- so what did I REALLY lose outside of a toxic mindset? In my case, what's happened is a refocusing from external validation (the winning of the fights) to internal validation (the perfect execution of the technique as an expression of self). Even calling that a "regression" is a bit unfair.
It's kinda like when I got my first 5-speed car -- I totally sucked. The mechanics of driving are essentially the same. You still press various pedals and the such to operate the car, but it does indeed require a modified mindset when driving. Did my driving ability "regress," or did I simply need time to get used to a new paradigm? I can Fast and Furious a 5-speed now and in fact, I now PREFER a 5-speed transmission. Just took awhile to get used to it. You've gotta pull the future into the present and experience it all at once rather than just looking at yourself in this narrow strip in time.
As for my comment about your end goal with women changing -- I can't say to a degree of certainty that they've shifted, but I adhere to the philosophy of watching shifts in a person's outward behavior to discover shifts in their inner world (as above, so below and all that good stuff). In your case, it was the fact that you began cold approaching with a fervor. Going from 0 to 100 would indicate a change in maybe not the end goal, but at least your attitude / thoughts in regards to women.
(05-30-2016, 10:00 PM)Jakeb203 Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 09:32 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
I believe the change in intent is something to be celebrated on. Fighters who fight with rage often lack clairvoyance. Think Wanderlei Silva and the now Shogun Rua. Their rage was very useful during the early years but now they are getting their ass handed after the aggression is gone. The best fighters of all time aren't often the most powerful. Despite Mike Tyson, there is also Anderson Silva, Alexander Gustafsson, Jon Jones and many others. They are technically savvy and have great mastery over their mind and body. But I definitely do agree fighting with slight rage will increase the flow in the cage. The best representation is Conor Mcgregor's style, always pushing and giving pressure yet isn't flooded by rage.
Sometimes I am amazed at how a change in mindset results in change in fighting style. Interesting discovery for users who do martial arts.
Yeah, it's really crazy -- a few days into Stage 2, I began to notice that I was taking a near scientific approach to my training. I started changing the way I trained and logging the results. For example, I ditched punching with resistance bands for punching as fast as I could while holding free weights (an alleged no-no for martial artists) and logged the results. I measured my punching speed by recording video of my shadow boxing sessions. And so forth with other techniques and the such.
After awhile, what dawned on me was that I was using the training, my body and the results as a form of art and expression, pushing myself to limits I had never reached before. The focus had completely changed. Before, all my drills and exercises was for one point: to win those matches in the ring.
My focus is slowly shifting back to that, but it's different this time. I want to win not because I'm discharging all this anger and sorrow, but as another form of expression.
If that makes any sense, haha.