(03-08-2020, 04:23 PM)Voytek Wrote: [ -> ] (03-08-2020, 08:48 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (03-08-2020, 06:04 AM)Voytek Wrote: [ -> ] (03-07-2020, 07:26 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Irrational indeed, since neither HIV nor AIDs causes pus filled nodules like the one you describe, and you already had something that it apparently came from before her rubbing it. IIRC HIV takes several months of incubation to even be possible to detect. The pus filled nodule likely was a cyst of some sort surrounding something infectious and she either squeezed something out of it or ruptured it while rubbing it, which caused the infection to start to spread, which resulted in a rapid development of a lot of pus until it ruptured and was cleaned out. It could have started from an infected pore. But HIV? That seems pretty far fetched, and it also seems far fetched that you would have done all that research on HIV without realizing that.
Ultimately, you have two choices. You either protect yourself or you play the lottery with your life. Given your fearful response, it sounds to me like one part of you is terrified of getting HIV (and it should be), and the other part of you is just stupid. Of course the head with which you are thinking to have unprotected sex with a woman who has that high a chance of being infected with HIV has no brain in it, so that explains the stupid. I cannot say I have not done stupid things in the past when I was thinking with the wrong head. Fortunately, I made it through unscathed, which is actually pretty amazing considering how many times I have been cheated on by my girlfriends.
If you don't do stupid things, you don't need to worry about contracting HIV from having done stupid things, do you.
When you're scared it's hard to realize anything and when you're having sex with a woman for the first time in your life and you trust her a bit you commit foliles. Anyways going back to DMSI. There might be one more reason DMSI is less effective for me. It seems to me it wants to get you right to the point and straight away and when I was young I used to meet women mainly for socializing with them and talking to them and I almost never thought about having sex with them (it's not a joke). Maybe a part of myself just needs to go through a socializing stage first before switching to the sexual one. I mean I need to like her at least a bit to be eager to have sex with her and if I didn't take a liking to her it's a NO-NO for me. That's one of the reasons I don't hire hookers.
WM used to lead me through that stage perfectly, I used to connect with women on social level very fast and then move to bed. Do you think DMSI might be lacking leading you through that social stage and forcing you to get straight to the point?
So basically you are afraid of disease and you are trying to run a program that is aimed squarely at sex first and foremost when you need something else. The fear of disease, we can work on with the FRM. The "DMSI isn't right for my needs" thing, can't do much about that. Maybe you need to try something else.
And if you included the focus on that social stage wouldn't it help in attaining the ultimate goals? We all need sex it's only about the way we realize that need or maybe the way we get to the point of realizing that need. My way can be slightly different than other people ways but is it? Maybe most of us need going through that social stage... somewhere deep inside if not on conscious level. Ultimately we are social beings per se.
The point of DMSI is to make you irresistibly sexually attractive. There is and never has been any intention or focus on or intention of doing anything else. The idea wasn't "HOw can we ease you into sex?" The idea was "How can we make the script as powerful as possible by being as direct as possible about going from "We just met" to "We are having sex because I couldn't resist having sex with you
right now." Or, if you knew the person already, just the latter part.
I think you want that socializing part so you don't have to deal with a fear that gets in the way.
Quote:I think I'm not really afraid of getting infected, why should I when using protection, it's rather about using protection which is nit appealing since the feel of it while having sex is no really... satisfying
You forget that you are made up of multiple parts and levels of your "self". Obviously, the sexual part is not afraid of getting infected enough to do the smart thing. Whenever instinct and intellect differ, instinct will always offer you the illogical and irrational choice.
Your brain is a difference engine. That means it knows what it is experiencing by comparing that which it has experienced before to what it is experiencing now, and perceives the difference between the two. That is why, if you look closely at someones eyes when they are viewing a scene, their eyes are actually moving back and forth a lot. This generates a different image that the brain then subtracts from the previous image to know what is what and what is changing.
This means that it will naturally detect the difference between bareback sex and condom protected sex as being a major difference at first. But because the "refresh rate" of your brain is relatively high, you are also a "normalizing engine". If you do not experience difference for a while, you adjust your scale of perception to what you have to experience, and it becomes normalized.
I started off having condom protected sex, and then once I found a woman I trusted enough, I started having bareback sex with her. Over time, different relationships had me go back and forth on that. What I discovered is that:
- The type of condom you use makes a big difference. Thin vs regular vs extra strength. Vinyl vs latex. (I never tried sheepskin.)
- Your level of arousal going in makes a big difference. If you are properly aroused before hand, it feels a lot better even with a condom on.
- Your compatibility with the particular woman matters a lot. Some women share compatibility with you, and some don't. Those who do have compatibility not only a vagina that feels better to you, but they also have an energy that arouses you more and makes sex feel better too. That can significantly help with wearing a condom.
- How long you have been using a condom, and using the same brand and type of condom, makes a BIG difference. You have had a chance to normalize it, and then it becomes your expectation and you adjust your sensitivity to it over time.
- Not wearing a condom with a woman I am not in a long term serious relationship with is playing the lottery. HIV is far from the only disease you can contract through sex, and may not even be the worst. There is also pregnancy to deal with. One time I was seduced by a woman who I thought was seducing me because she found me so attractive, and I thought she was trying to start a serious, long term relationship with me. I allowed her to have what she wanted, and then discovered that she was actually:
- Married.
- Had three kids with her husband.
- Was happily married.
- Had genital herpes.
- Wanted to bed me because she was feeling unattractive and wanted to see if she still "had it".
- Crazy.
Now fortunately, I didn't contract herpes but wow, what a close call! That was back in my early 20's, and I never did that again. Now I make sure I know what is what before skin touches skin.
So it boils down to... are you a slave to your dick, or can you think with your brain? If you are a slave to your dick, you'll find whatever excuse and justification is necessary to keep having unprotected sex outside of a committed long term relationship with someone you don't know for sure is clean. Otherwise, you'll either find and form such a relationship where you can safely go bareback, or wrap the rascal.
There's really nothing more to say on this point.