Subliminal Talk

Quote:You let those guys build up and they'll bang the door down when you open it. Just need to have sex more often.

Version A continues working behind-the-scenes. I woke up with some somewhat irritating anxiety this morning, even though I slept really well.

Perhaps it had something to do with the 2 dreams of women I know, one - my SIL. The other, my wife's coworker that I see at the gym. Both of them involved hanging out, with the possibility that something might happen. 'Bout it.

Speaking of the gym, I'm pretty sure a girl whom I've spoken about in earlier versions - like 2.4 - was there. And it turns out she's practically a 100% match with the girl from the sex dream I had the other night.

Fitness model got new boobs a few weeks ago, apparently. I hadn't noticed until my wife said that her friend (same coworker I see at the gym and dreamed about last night) said the model had them done and is now showing them off to all the men who talk her up (which she finds "shady").

I caught her (model) checkin' me out 4 or 5 separate occasions yesterday. It probably drives her nuts that I refuse to talk to her. She's such an attention whore, I watch her suck up all the attention and compliments from most of the guys in the gym, and I just shake my head and get my work done. I've never been really attracted to those types. Same with friends. I don't really care for people who are "friends with everyone."

Speaking of people like that, my lifting partner I occasionally hang-out with - yup, same one who was getting himself in trouble with that married fitness model - has now gone and Facebook messaged my wife's coworker. He started it with, "Hey, what's going on? I know you from the gym. I'm friends with RTB. How do you know RTB and Mrs. RTB?" Lol, I told the dipshit she works with my wife, but of course, he wants an "in" with her. The funny thing, really, is that this situation has wife's coworker telling my wife all about it (she knows exactly what he's up to) and it's actually creating an "open"/opportunity for wife's friend and *I* to talk at the gym.

Very, very interesting to sit back and watch this situation unfold.

I just had a realization this morning.

I'm happy.

Before, it was "I get angry, stressed, run errands, work, take care of my son, eat, workout...(etc)" with a baseline of "life kinda sucks." Everything was underscored with a gray, negative frame. Right now, after enduring all this clearing and healing, the baseline is changing to happiness & joy.

I still get angry, stressed, etc. But the baseline's changed for the better. And just like I wanted by running DMSI, my relationship with my wife has gone through another wave of shit with the result that we're in a much better place than before. I respond to her in a much kinder, gentler fashion, and things that used to annoy me don't annoy me anymore. I listen better, help her more, and am much more affectionate. I appreciate her more in general.

This is awesome.

that's a profound result! Increase of baseline mood is nothing to be taken lightly congrats man

Two things -

MILF (younger than me) from across the street came out to talk to me while I was helping my kid learn to ride his balance bike. She brought up that she was "enduring long days" because her husband was working long hours, and then told me he would "be gone until at least 8:30 PM Monday-Friday." Hmm.

Went to wife's OB appointment today. I had the doctor laughing so hard, she looked at my wife and said, "OMG, your husband is sooooo funny!" So kino last time, and the "he's soooo funny," comment this time. Geezuz, if we were both single, I'd have a clear green light to get whatever I want from her.

Man, life's crazy sometimes.

I was out with my son, watching him ride his balance bike again. Out comes MILF from across the street, again. We talked for at least an hour.

I'm not going to go into the IOIs, all your "typical boring," shit. What was crazy is that we talked about preschools and the elementary school nearby. She compared it to hers - which turned out to be the same place I went. We also went to the same middle school. We were even at the same schools at the same time.

But wait, there's more! Her older brother...is my age. So I asked what his name was (is). I couldn't believe my ears. He was my friend in grade school. I had him over to my house, and vice versa, numerous times.

Small world!

Went back to 2 TS hybrid FLAC loops, sleep phones, 9/15 clicks Galaxy Note 5, right at the beginning of sleep.

It seems when I play DMSI, the hybrid in particular, dreams go to friends and family and completely non-sexual related dreams that deal with themes like guilt, shame, and forgiveness. Most of these dreams involve my old "best friend," whom I'm still "friends" with, but we go long periods w/out communication and never hang out anymore. Last night I even grouped him up with another ex-best-friend who I haven't seen for almost 9 years. In the dreams I've forgiven the guy I haven't seen for a long time, and hang out with him, but the other guy - he's on his way out. Some of his other friends - people I never liked associating with, and will never associate with again in life - were trying to guilt and shame me for casting him aside in my dream.

Weird stuff.

Had my son's belated birthday party at my sister-in-law's house yesterday. Brother-in-law was there, as well as my wife & my parents. More crazy IOIs from SIL. BIL could sense something going on, so he pulled her onto his lap. Must not have had the intended effect, b/c I felt unfazed and he looked...deflated?...after she hopped off. She looked uncomfortable and annoyed there the entire time. I have a nice 5-minute video of definitive body language, showing me I'm her man-of-choice. Pretty cray.

Anyone know of a way to fuzz-out faces and garble audio on video (mp4?) I could do the whole picture thing again, but showing a video would be more fun.

Young neighbor next door (not the milf, this chick's actually quite a bit hotter) was sunbathing and swimming in her pool while I mowed the back yard. I got a nice view of her generous rack in her bikini multiple times. She eventually ended up on a large float and laid on her stomach. She then made sure to float so I had a perfect view of her ass. I felt like she was posing for me. I didn't give her the satisfaction of looking where she'd notice. She's going to have to work harder for my attention.

To add to yesterday...

When we were leaving SIL's house, I gave her a non-committal one-armed hug (though I guess I did have a bag with leftover barbecue in my left hand). She returned it with a two-armed, boobs-firmly-smashed-against-my-chest hug. It was soft and...sensual. Kinda surprised me, honestly. Not sure why it slipped my mind to post about something that, in my opinion, is pretty significant. I also felt pretty emotional at home yesterday evening. Waves of emotion would come and go - had to hide them. I can't help but think it had something to do with her.

Today, on my way to the gym, neighbor girl (who owns the pool next door) was out in her yard planting her annuals (flowers). I looked to check her out, and she was looking. Her head snapped back so fast I thought it'd break right off! I felt like I got caught, too, but the feeling I really experienced was...instant horniness. Right in my junk. Acute, strong, unmistakable. I drove off and the feeling dissipated in about 2-3 minutes.

At the gym, I felt like...better than Brad Pitt. Mentally and emotionally I was in a place where the people around me didn't understand the privilege they had to be around me. It sounds arrogant, but I don't even mean it that way. I don't feel "better" than them. I feel advanced to a degree where just being around my energy somehow is now benefiting people for the better in some way. Furthermore, I felt excitement. It's like my subconscious knew something my conscious didn't.

There was an extremely well built chick there with her husband. I don't know how she had a baby within the last six months (saw them pick up their kid at the end of their workout). She looked phen-fuckin'-omenal.
She did the typical IOIs, not going to rehash those. They're so regular now that it seems like nothing worth writing about. She was affected, that much was clear.

Been unmistakably tired since getting home after working out. Must be more stuff being worked on under the hood. Really liking this 2nd go at Version A, however.

Let's keep growin'.

Though there's no guideline because it's experimental it seems a few of us have noticed the benefit of doing B for a while.

I went back to A last night. And i'm trying to explain it to Shannon, but I noticed the subtle but distinct difference.

B everything felt more focused and stronger, despite the anxiety and whatever coming up. I felt more certain of things.

Back on A last night there's a heavier feeling, like i'm kind of weighed down more, not as clear and focused or as certain.

Makes sense the difference with the healing vs just not having that there and B being more focused on the goal.

A post inspired from Duke's journal:

I used to be a big believer in "romantic love." In fact, I dare say that belief helped land me my wife, initially. Chivalry - opening doors, pulling out chairs, buying flowers, thoughtful gifts, "love" notes, jewelry from Tiffany. It was the ritual of courtship, all part of "falling in love." I believed there was a difference between "sex" and "making love." And there is, to an extent. But, life isn't The Bachelor or a Disney movie. It's not a romance novel like The Notebook or Outlander.

When a child is born into your life (or adopted, in some cases), love comes built-in. There's no "falling," it's just there - a shining light, bathing your heart in its purity. Then comes the sleepless nights, aggravation, reward & punishment, teaching, etc. But the love remains, even if you block it out with anger, sorrow, or other negativity at times, it's there waiting when it clears, and many times, love clears it away for you. For those who didn't get to experience this kind of loving home, well, that just breaks my heart, man. It's a feeling I never felt that strongly before I had kids (not for my own parents, siblings, or friends). I've felt it for my wife, sure, but with children (for me, anyway), it's an amazingly strong feeling.

Love for pets comes just shy of having children. I love my pets - from the dogs I had growing up, to the cats I have now. They're like my kids. People talk about how animals are just pure, unconditional love, but that's bullshit. There's conditions, they're just different than people's conditions. One cat beats the shit out of another, or looks at me with jealousy in his/her eyes as their nemesis sits purring on my lap.

What's interesting about societal conditioning is we're all taught that there's only "one person" you can love when it comes to adult relationships. I have the capacity to love my parents, siblings, children, and 6 cats - but I can only love one woman? If I love another woman, simultaneously, society says that must mean I don't really love my wife. Not really. What a crock! I used to have a lot of shame and guilt about having feelings of love, or sexual feelings, for other women than my wife (or even past girlfriends). Not anymore, and that's merely helped the health of my relationship!

In real life (opposed to the fantasy of "Happily Ever After"), as relationships continue to develop, you realize there's a lot more to love than the initial feelings you get when you're excited about a new relationship. Those feelings are a natural part of the emotional bonding phase of a relationship. It fades. But real love isn't just a feeling - it's a bond, devotion - a real, caring connection to another person (or pet/animal, whatever). For me, I used to use "making love" as a way to gauge the health of my relationship. Since then, I've grown a lot. I realized that's not my wife's love language, and that I'm adaptable. It feels good to express my love sexually, but she's more like a typical guy. It's "Lets get this over with!" She likes sex and all, but knowing what she likes, it's "Get to it, give me my 3 orgasms, and let's watch some TV!" I used to take that personally. Now, I don't. Accepting that, I get to have more sex, b/c I don't end up getting all butt-hurt and make a huge fight about it, again and again.

Anyway, what makes the difference between a person I love and want to have sex with vs. a person I love and don't? To me, sexual attraction can be many things. Usually, it starts off as physical. But sometimes it develops because of attraction to a person's attributes, such as intellect or sense of humor. I have strong sexual attraction to intelligent, independent, hard working women. If that woman was 350 lbs., however, the likelihood of attraction is essentially zero. There are deal-breakers. Or what about a chick I want to have sex with, but don't love? In that situation, it'd be a woman I don't know well. If I know a woman for awhile, and find I'm *still* sexually attracted to her, there's usually feelings that have developed as well. I can find reasons to love people pretty easily. So if I don't, it's likely I've also lost sexual attraction. That's just my personality type.

It probably took two years to develop feelings for my sister-in-law. We had common interests, her intellect is high like her sister's (my wife) but in a different way, her sense of humor is dark and dry - which I love. She's independent and has very strong opinions. Oh, and she's sexy as hell. If I was in "Create Your Own World, Without Judgement!" I could easily have loving, sexual relationships with multiple women, in addition to relationships that were purely sexual, without diminishing how much I love someone. Eventually, you'd run into logistics issues. A person has only so much time to devote to different tasks. The same goes for children. I want my children to know me well, and spend a plethora of time with me. I can't do that fairly with 10 children from as many different women.

I could talk about this all day, so I'll try and stop there.

TL;DR

I believe you can love more than one woman simultaneously. You can have sex with women and still love a person you're in a relationship with.

You can make love, and you can have purely physical, animalistic sex with women you love while not "making love." You can have loveless sex with women you don't love, but find sexually attractive. You can have quickies with all of the above.

Sex with someone you love, versus someone you don't, always has been more meaningful (in my experience).

Like Duke said, as people age, there's some veering that can happen, and to good people.

To me, DMSI has etched my beliefs deeper. If before I had ideas written in sand, I'm starting to see lines chiseled in stone. It's helped clear guilty feelings away and realize that even if I'm deeply attracted to someone else, the love for my wife and family remains. That makes the love even stronger, because I'm more certain of my feelings than ever.

(05-07-2017, 06:38 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Anyone know of a way to fuzz-out faces and garble audio on video (mp4?) I could do the whole picture thing again, but showing a video would be more fun.

Usually a blur and mosaic filter will take care of the faces, and "vocoding" and pitch shifting will usually handle the audio. Now, what you ACTUALLY can do is usually determined by the software you use, but try to find functions similar to the above in whatever you choose to use.

(05-07-2017, 06:34 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]In real life (opposed to the fantasy of "Happily Ever After"), as relationships continue to develop, you realize there's a lot more to love than the initial feelings you get when you're excited about a new relationship. Those feelings are a natural part of the emotional bonding phase of a relationship. It fades. But real love isn't just a feeling - it's a bond, devotion - a real, caring connection to another person (or pet/animal, whatever). For me, I used to use "making love" as a way to gauge the health of my relationship. Since then, I've grown a lot. I realized that's not my wife's love language, and that I'm adaptable. It feels good to express my love sexually, but she's more like a typical guy. It's "Lets get this over with!" She likes sex and all, but knowing what she likes, it's "Get to it, give me my 3 orgasms, and let's watch some TV!" I used to take that personally. Now, I don't. Accepting that, I get to have more sex, b/c I don't end up getting all butt-hurt and make a huge fight about it, again and again.

Not completely related to the rest of your post, but this is a podcast about the love language you're mentioning here. It's about thirty minutes but it'll give you a good understanding and it could avoid some fights and misunderstandings in relationships.

http://www.personalityhacker.com/podcast...languages/

(05-07-2017, 06:38 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]

(05-07-2017, 06:38 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Anyone know of a way to fuzz-out faces and garble audio on video (mp4?) I could do the whole picture thing again, but showing a video would be more fun.

Usually a blur and mosaic filter will take care of the faces, and "vocoding" and pitch shifting will usually handle the audio. Now, what you ACTUALLY can do is usually determined by the software you use, but try to find functions similar to the above in whatever you choose to use.

I guess I could also just kill the audio track completely.

Thanks for the suggestions.

I can't comprehend your post (are you getting enlightened or more close-minded?!) but I hope it means you're getting enlightened and intend to bang your SIL.