Subliminal Talk

(04-18-2017, 03:32 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I never understood guys who need to lose weight. Not eating is the easiest thing in the world to do. You just don't do anything. Simple.

You're an ectomorph. Your hunger hormones are likely in check. In fact, I don't understand ectos, just like you don't understand not eating, in the sense that most ectos bitch about how it's so hard to eat the calories to gain weight. I could put down 6000 kcal/ day, no problem. The ecto? ZOMG, my tummy hurts!

(04-18-2017, 09:34 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(04-18-2017, 03:32 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I never understood guys who need to lose weight. Not eating is the easiest thing in the world to do. You just don't do anything. Simple.

You're an ectomorph. Your hunger hormones are likely in check. In fact, I don't understand ectos, just like you don't understand not eating, in the sense that most ectos bitch about how it's so hard to eat the calories to gain weight. I could put down 6000 kcal/ day, no problem. The ecto? ZOMG, my tummy hurts!

Yeah I know, it's weird how different the body types are. My cousin is the same. We're opposite in our body types and pretty much everything else. Been best friends forever tho. Goes to show it's not just about similarities.

Ridiculous IOIs from SIL last night. I took a video, and have multiple screen captures off of it. I may be able to take the time to set up a series based on it, but I didn't sleep well last night, so today's not the day.

SIL asked me to go mushroom hunting with her Friday, so I will. It'll be just us, asked mom to watch my son. Out in the middle of the woods, no one else around - including my wife - means 100% of the SDS and original visual sniper will be in effect. It'll be at least 3 hours. Don't know what will come of it, but I'm just going to have a good time hangin' out.

Couldn't fall asleep until 3:30-4 AM. Thoughts wouldn't stop, couldn't drift off. Finally realized maybe it was just too warm. Turned the AC down to 70, 30 minutes later I'm asleep. 3.5-4 hours won't cut it, so I'm napping when my son does.

Got my two loops in, 1 FLAC hybrid, 1 masked. Wife has been extremely...into me?...this morning. Very present, very engaging. It's just different behavior. First client wouldn't leave on time - stayed an extra 7 minutes. She never sticks around late, and is always cognizant of the time. I was getting annoyed, frankly. Mom came over to train after, and we laughed the whole session.

For being tired, I feel pretty good internally. Starting to get hungry, so off to grill some fish and eat a little asparagus.

Hey Boss!

I for one, would greatly appreciate you making something out of all of that footage.

If these IOIs are as clear as you say, then I may be able to take that knowledge back and see if the stuff that happens to me is legit, or just normal behaviour or wishful thinking etc. I might finally be able to get past a big stumbling block here.

It would be somewhat educational, and/or illuminating in case I AM getting signs already but they aren't registering as signs.

I hope you release it all, after blurring etc. obviously.

Not sure if relevant to DMSI, but:

Yesterday something happened (my fault) and when found out, I couldn't handle the guilt of it. So, I projected the guilt in explosive anger onto another (innocent) person. Then, said innocent person was protected by another innocent person who then got attacked (verbally) by me, as I was projecting all the guilt I could onto anything and anyone other than me. I basically threw a temper-tantrum like a 2-year-old. I was so off-put by my own reaction (after I cleared my mind and could see/reason clearly) that I was overcome by shame. Ruined my night.

There's no permanent damage - except to something material that was expensive, and sentimental value to multiple persons.

The reason I mention this is because with all the G/S/F programming, I would have thought forgiveness of myself and others/disconnect from negativity/positive thinking/positive attitude may have helped me in this situation. Even if that programming is directly related to "becoming maximally sexually attractive," my reaction certainly did me no favors in that arena. Instead, my reaction was completely unwarranted. I should have sailed through that experience with flying colors. Instead, I look (and feel) like an idiot with an uncontrollable temper.

Slept 10 hours or so to help overcome the sleep debt from yesterday. I feel pretty good today, so hopefully it'll be a better day.

Sounds like you're busy making a fix-it list for when you go back to A.

I have no proof but it's possible that recent and fresh issues can get worked at fast and directly.

(04-20-2017, 06:59 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure if relevant to DMSI, but:

Yesterday something happened (my fault) and when found out, I couldn't handle the guilt of it. So, I projected the guilt in explosive anger onto another (innocent) person. Then, said innocent person was protected by another innocent person who then got attacked (verbally) by me, as I was projecting all the guilt I could onto anything and anyone other than me. I basically threw a temper-tantrum like a 2-year-old. I was so off-put by my own reaction (after I cleared my mind and could see/reason clearly) that I was overcome by shame. Ruined my night.

There's no permanent damage - except to something material that was expensive, and sentimental value to multiple persons.

The reason I mention this is because with all the G/S/F programming, I would have thought forgiveness of myself and others/disconnect from negativity/positive thinking/positive attitude may have helped me in this situation. Even if that programming is directly related to "becoming maximally sexually attractive," my reaction certainly did me no favors in that arena. Instead, my reaction was completely unwarranted. I should have sailed through that experience with flying colors. Instead, I look (and feel) like an idiot with an uncontrollable temper.

Slept 10 hours or so to help overcome the sleep debt from yesterday. I feel pretty good today, so hopefully it'll be a better day.

We all have our sticking points. Don't let it get to you. All that matters is that you want to get better and make an effort to do so.

Thanks for the words, Nox & Mat.

Have a headache. I was trying to take a nap, and my SIL wouldn't keep her candy-ass out of my head. Hahaha. Weird how I'm sitting there thinking about tomorrow (our morel hunt), and I get a headache and some low-grade anxiety.

Gonna go get a haircut and go for a run in a bit. Feeling a little shaggy, and gotta keep moving forward on the journey toward Six-Pack City.

Hope some of the guys who aren't seeing results don't get irritated by me saying this, but I'm kinda hopin' that 3.2 isn't released until July. I feel like 3.1 is really just getting started, and finishing a few rounds of A-B-A-B, with perhaps time for a bloom-break, might be amazing in the long-term.

Your sil situation is basically my soap opera addiction. I'm always chomping at the bit for updates.

I agree with wanting longer on 3.1. Its my first dmsi ride but I'm hooked lol

(04-20-2017, 01:00 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the words, Nox & Mat.

Have a headache. I was trying to take a nap, and my SIL wouldn't keep her candy-ass out of my head. Hahaha. Weird how I'm sitting there thinking about tomorrow (our morel hunt), and I get a headache and some low-grade anxiety.

Gonna go get a haircut and go for a run in a bit. Feeling a little shaggy, and gotta keep moving forward on the journey toward Six-Pack City.

Hope some of the guys who aren't seeing results don't get irritated by me saying this, but I'm kinda hopin' that 3.2 isn't released until July. I feel like 3.1 is really just getting started, and finishing a few rounds of A-B-A-B, with perhaps time for a bloom-break, might be amazing in the long-term.

Thinking the same thing. I'm so irritated that I have to stick with MIR for now.

(04-20-2017, 01:09 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]

(04-20-2017, 01:00 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the words, Nox & Mat.

Have a headache. I was trying to take a nap, and my SIL wouldn't keep her candy-ass out of my head. Hahaha. Weird how I'm sitting there thinking about tomorrow (our morel hunt), and I get a headache and some low-grade anxiety.

Gonna go get a haircut and go for a run in a bit. Feeling a little shaggy, and gotta keep moving forward on the journey toward Six-Pack City.

Hope some of the guys who aren't seeing results don't get irritated by me saying this, but I'm kinda hopin' that 3.2 isn't released until July. I feel like 3.1 is really just getting started, and finishing a few rounds of A-B-A-B, with perhaps time for a bloom-break, might be amazing in the long-term.

Thinking the same thing. I'm so irritated that I have to stick with MIR for now.

I bet - hope you get better soon.

Just walked in for a haircut, and before I could check in they said, "Got you checked in, RTB." I get a haircut maybe once a month, and the last time I dod it wasn't here. They've never recalled me before... huh.

GSF programming removes GSF. Not necessarily the triggers that generate it. That'll be the job of the other healing stuff in A. You can be perfectly clear of all GSF and still have the generators triggered by something. Voila, more GSF. The generation programming has to be cleared out too. That may take a little longer.

Sure could use an update here after SIL Friday...

(04-21-2017, 02:17 PM)Nox Wrote: [ -> ]Sure could use an update here after SIL Friday...

Well, Nox, like any good soap - the positive must always be followed by a negative. That's how they keep you interested in the story, right?

+-+-+-+ ... -

Last night she asked me if I wanted to "meet at the lake." I said, "Go ahead and meet me at my house." No reply. Whatever, I'm sure she got the text. This morning I trained my clients, the last of which - my mother - was to take my son with her so I could go mushroom hunting with SIL.

I took my mom upstairs to the nursery to show her how my son's old room had been transformed by my wife into a Harry Potter theme for my almost-here baby girl. Turned out awesome. While we're up there, in walks my SIL. She's early by 40 minutes! Totally caught me off guard. I wanted to eat something before leaving, so the aura would be powered up. Instead, I had to rely on the protein shake (whey isolate in water, no fat/no carbs) I had a few hours earlier...

I noticed right away that (though she was wearing scrubby clothes to hunt in) she had makeup on. Curious. I then had to install my son's car seat into my mom's car, and while I did, my mom started asking about SIL's husband and his new job. SIL replied it was going, "Ok." She then went on about how he wasn't even going to be home on a lot of weekends. Her tone did not sound positive about it, at all. Thought that was interesting. I also was having a helluva time with the car seat install, and I'm sure she got a nice view of my ass & crotch while I fought with that thing, but I have no clue if she took advantage of the view.

Mom and son left and we went back inside. Suddenly, my guard was up (energetically) - I could feel it. I mean, we're friends, but if there's male ASD - I was in male ASD-mode. I had her sit next to me on the couch as I pulled up Google Earth and showed her on the map where we'd be going. She sat pretty close, but no physical touch. When we left, she insisted she take her own car (which later on turned out to be a good idea). She followed me close, so should have been in full gear.

Light banter and laughing as we walked to our target area...found mushrooms immediately, so we both were pretty happy. I'd lose track of her here and there, but we were in close proximity the entire time.

But, I may as well been mushroom hunting with the Queen of England. She was composed, and just...normal. I was, too. No jokes with innuendo - in fact, if anything, I was making the most lame jokes ever (IMO). I don't know if she likes dorky/lame jokes, but that's what I was throwin' at her. She definitely laughed at all of them.

At one point, my internal dialog was, "(As if I'm talking to my subconscious): I don't know what I'm looking for in this situation, particularly, but my subconscious knows, and I just need to trust that it knows what to do and go with that." It almost felt like I was losing attraction for her as I was hanging out with her.

She could only stay out for a little over 90 minutes, so not long. I walked her back to her car, where she asked me to go again with her next week. I said I would, of course. We said goodbye, no hug, and I went back to hunting. Glad I did, because I found probably 3 or 4 more pounds - way more than I'd found up to that point.

EDIT: A few other things: Hormonal changes continue - noticing more acne, have white head on my arms and shoulders, even one on my neck, like I'm 18 again.

So far, no libido to speak of on B. Still no desire to drink, no desire to look at porn, no desire to clean-the-pipes. Been very physically active, very productive, and very disciplined on diet.