(06-15-2017, 08:39 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (06-15-2017, 08:01 PM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote: [ -> ]That's extremely interesting RTBoss, I'm curious to see what Shannon says about it.
I've had similair things happen and wasn't sure if it was TID or if the healing was flashing back to earlier memories and the related sounds,smells and sensations were coming back into my awareness.
I don't know what it is you think I am supposed to say about it... if RTB can't distinguish who it is from, then we are unable to proceed.
I was curious if you knew whether it was from TID, Healing, or some sort of other effect.
(06-16-2017, 12:08 PM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote: [ -> ] (06-15-2017, 08:39 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (06-15-2017, 08:01 PM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote: [ -> ]That's extremely interesting RTBoss, I'm curious to see what Shannon says about it.
I've had similair things happen and wasn't sure if it was TID or if the healing was flashing back to earlier memories and the related sounds,smells and sensations were coming back into my awareness.
I don't know what it is you think I am supposed to say about it... if RTB can't distinguish who it is from, then we are unable to proceed.
I was curious if you knew whether it was from TID, Healing, or some sort of other effect.
Insufficient data.
I was able to continue with DMSI version B while out of town. I'm too tired to write a detailed post atm, but I will say that I think that the sleep deprivation I've gone through helped me execute the script. I was oddly getting lots of attention, when I really didn't want it.
But yeah, out of the past stress-packed 78 hours, I've slept a total of a shitty, fitty, sporadic 11. Off to nap. For a long time.
My subconscious's latest resistance tactic:
Make RTB feel immense shame for trying to be maximally sexually irresistible. How dare RTB think about such things while his wife is just getting out of the hospital, because she almost died and left him with two young kids. How dare he do that while his mother-in-law comes and stays at their house, to help his wife get through a stressful time (while making RTB more stressed than he already was). RTB, can you see the looks your mother-in-law gives you when she sees how other women react to you? Your wife doesn't let on that her sister finds you MSI, but mommy noticed, and disapproves. Can't you see that? You should move on to something else, pronto, because this just isn't right anymore.
Fuck you, subconscious.
I don't know, maybe it's right.
Guilt only has one use. Control.
Being sexy is a state of being. Just like being male or female or some particular race. It is a state of being, and to be made to feel guilty for being what one is, is nothing more than a play to gain control over you.
It is, to put it succinctly, bullshit.
It means the program is working, and you are going to start hitting walls with it like this. Social walls, religious walls, gender walls... because it works.
You can be sexy and still look after ur wife... Which will make u more Sexy.
Thanks, guys. Stress is clouding my vision, so your comments are very helpful.
After going through the last week, I'm still carrying all that stress with me, and the only way I can decompress and rejuvenate is by isolating myself in a place of comfort (home). I can't do that right now, because my mother-in-law is staying with us. She is Type A (CAPITAL A), and she's turning my house upside down cleaning (going through MY stuff) and "doing" and she stresses me the fuck out. My wife, on the other hand, needs her mom and therefore wants her here, but I am having an insanely hard time. Well, I set boundaries, and MIL doesn't like it. Wife doesn't like it, but tough shit. I live here - my house, my rules. But it's stress I don't need.
So thanks again, your support is uplifting.
If it's your house, having your mother in law try to take over like that would be a definite reason to start setting some concrete boundaries. That's ridiculous.
(06-21-2017, 02:15 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks, guys. Stress is clouding my vision, so your comments are very helpful.
After going through the last week, I'm still carrying all that stress with me, and the only way I can decompress and rejuvenate is by isolating myself in a place of comfort (home). I can't do that right now, because my mother-in-law is staying with us. She is Type A (CAPITAL A), and she's turning my house upside down cleaning (going through MY stuff) and "doing" and she stresses me the **** out. My wife, on the other hand, needs her mom and therefore wants her here, but I am having an insanely hard time. Well, I set boundaries, and MIL doesn't like it. Wife doesn't like it, but tough shit. I live here - my house, my rules. But it's stress I don't need.
So thanks again, your support is uplifting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr_cE_fTkAU
Skip to 1:10
XD
NOT IN MY HOUSE
(06-21-2017, 02:47 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr_cE_fTkAU
Skip to 1:10
XD
NOT IN MY HOUSE
"It's a four hundred dollar shirt, by the way."
Lmao...always makes me chuckle. His chill, low energy delivery of that line maybe does it, haha.
I was complaining to my mom over text about having to "deal" and "put up with" my mother-in-law. She sent me a daily meditation email about "burying hatchets" and "complete forgiveness." I took a screenshot - I'll link it here:
Read Here
It explains forgiveness how I've always viewed it - absolution, starting-from-scratch. For me, though, it's rare that I'm able to do that. The questions at the bottom of the meditation email made me think this morning about why I haven't been able to forgive her. Basically, it stems back to 2011, when she practically destroyed her relationship with my wife while we were planning our wedding. She'd make comments about how my wife should get her dress from "Goodwill," and the cake from a grocery store so she could save money. Then she suddenly said my parents should pay half, because "she's a progressive woman, and the 'tradition' of the bride's family paying for the wedding 'wasn't fair.'" My wife ended up writing her out of her life - stopped talking to her completely. My parents and I all received letters from my mother-in-law about how "disappointed" she was in us for not facilitating a fix between her and her daughter - she essentially projected blame for a problem she created onto us.
Anyway, we couldn't afford a wedding locally, so we decided to do a destination wedding in Jamaica. None of my wife's family, immediate or otherwise, came. It was a great time, but kinda fucked up simultaneously. My grandparents, who have since passed, didn't get to see me get married. I think I still hold all of that against her, because my mother-in-law only apologized to my wife and talked to my wife about what happened, but never talked anything over with me, nor ever apologized to my parents (who did end up paying for our wedding). Anyhow, she's been a completely different person ever since almost losing her relationship with my wife. She's been very helpful and giving in many ways, but even so, I see every flaw and paint everything about her in a negative light.
This morning, I broke down in tears, because I realized I've used "she never apologized" as a reason to not absolve her for the good of our family, and not least of all, my own happiness. I think I've used not forgiving her as a means to punish her, again and again, and it only ends up hurting me, my wife, and my children if I don't let it go. I think I may finally be able to do that, having realized this.
EDIT: I had a thought after writing this that not forgiving someone to punish them is a microcosm of the concept of revenge. And you know what they say about revenge, "Before you set upon the path of revenge, dig two graves."
Before you set upon a path to forgiveness, remember not to sell yourself out. Forgiveness does not mean letting yourself or anyone else be treated poorly.
Other than that, holding a grudge is as much a roadblock as anything else.
(06-23-2017, 09:53 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Before you set upon a path to forgiveness, remember not to sell yourself out. Forgiveness does not mean letting yourself or anyone else be treated poorly.
Other than that, holding a grudge is as much a roadblock as anything else.
<-----Assertive boundary setter, with forgiving heart. :angel: