Subliminal Talk

Just a little video to motivate myself

I've been thinking about this whole "I don't know what I want" ordeal lately and I must admit it's completely true. I seem to change my opinions and plans a lot and it's on the subconscious level rather than conscious one.

EDIT

I've decided I'll try DMSI 2.4 for a week or so to see if maybe I will feel better/have better results with it. From what I remember I didn't have much results with it back in the day, but that was then with much smaller exposure and I did feel more stable.

Hi guys, do you have any interesting alpha male/self mastery books you could recommend? I'm not interested in anything about seduction nor something overly philosophical, I rather look for something motivational that will make me think and help me redefine who I wanna be. I will appreciate any recommendations, especially if those are free or easily available online.

Few things on my mind so this might be a long post. I hope I won't forget about anything as I didn't write down points I wanna mention, but I that happens I'll just edit this post or write a new one tomorrow. Anyhow, let's go!

First of all I've started reading "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. I think I've started reading it a looong way back but I either didn't finish it or simply run through it. Anyhow it's exactly kind of book I was looking for, a lot of general advice that doesn't tell you exactly what to do, but rather makes you think. I'm 1/3 through it right now and after I read it I'll surely read it again before New Year as it has some interesting perspective on the things I struggle with right now. The biggest issue for me is that it seems to be written for men in their midlife crisis, not for someone 23 years old who practically just begins his adult life, but it's not that big of a deal. Once I complete it second time I might write some bullet points here just so I have reference for the future and to show you what I've learnt from it.

Secondly I've read my previous journal, "The Adventures..." one. A couple of things stroke me. Like, for example, how come I had 85kg?! I've lost 10kg since then and while it's hard for me to lose more (I'd like to lose another 15kg!) I've taken my current weight for granted. That really rose up my morale. Other things as well, it's really eye-opening to read that journal now will hindsight I have now as those event already came to pass. I was mostly interested in how my favorite run (AM refresher + BIATBW) and AM run afterwards were going. It's nice to remind myself of power of LOA and I feel quite sad that I cannot really use it right now because I fear it will interfere to much with the sub (I tried it some and I decided I'll rather trust the sub on that front).

The thing that saddens me is that I seemed to be clearly aware of who my ex was but I still got attached to her, mistake I pay for right now. I might have been aware of women like her from various books and posts but I still trusted her, which was a mistake. I blame this on love and my inexperience, but there might be more to it as I will describe later on. If there is any consolidation it's that if I were to met her a couple years back I would have ended much, much worse. She done a lot of bad in my life these past months, but she didn't destroy my foundations.

Before I'll get to the meat of this post I must admit the I feel tremendous guilt because of my exercises, or rather lack thereof. I'm talking constantly about joining a gym and while it's source of a lot of anxiety for me I must finally do it. I'm not really that motivated to do it right now and I'm coming up with excuses constantly, but it's something I finally must force on myself, there is no other way.

OK, with all that out of the way I'd like to tell you my latest thoughts on my "I don't know what I want" ordeal. From what I can tell from my meditation and similar methods I'm getting needy because of my fear of loneliness. Basically, after I finally got myself a girlfriend, requited love and all of that I'd really want to have that again. I was waiting through the summer, ended AM run and started DMSI but sadly it didn't do wonders for me yet. Because I long for it so much right now I lost my patience I had in the past and while I'm trying on many fronts I fail on all of them because my lack of focus. Even when I seem to attract someone into my life it simply doesn't work for one reason or another. And in truth it only makes me feel more desperate and lonely. BIATBW worked because I didn't care too much if it worked or not, I felt like I could wait and it paid off. Now I'm unwilling to wait, I try to catch every opportunity I get but so far I caught nothing.

All this makes me wanna switch to a different sub right now. I have no idea if it would be a good choice, but if it continues I'm really not convinced that DMSI is the best choice right now. So what if I will be getting women's interest if I won't be able to get anything out of it? So maybe I should try again BIATBW + AM refresher + LOA exercises? Maybe I should do yet another AM run, this time in full monk mode to fully concentrate on my self-development? I wasted a lot of potential of AM run this year because I was more focused outwardly on my ex rather than inwardly on myself. ERPHA maybe? I truly don't know and my gut feeling doesn't help me much, for now I'll stay with DMSI 2.4 for at least a week, but I don't know what will follow.

Let me end this post with quote of mine I forgot about and I found it again today. It's perfect and I find it almost tragic that I lost it's meaning in myself. I need to conquer another mountain to feel that again I guess.

Quote:Because this is what being alpha is about, not getting pussy or proving others how successful you are. Being alpha is about conquering your weaknesses, your doubts and believing you can do anything.

I fell better now, perhaps releasing some steam with my yesterday's post helped me somewhat. I've read some journals and discussions and I've decided I will stick with DMSI at least until 3.0 comes out and I'll have enough time to test it. I got some more confidence in the sub and I think it's better to stick with what I'm doing rather than mix and complicate things.

I had weirdest dreams today during my 2-hour nap. It was first time since forever and it really makes me wanna post it on some kind of dream reading forum. I've written down 4 points, but I wanna only mention one. When I was walking down the hall of huge skyscraper a girl was singing "Wolven Storm" song from Witcher 3, beautiful song about longing and fight for love, song which has some serious connotations to my ex. While lyrics checked at the beginning later on both lyrics and notes changed and I remember one line (so well in fact I was able to write down the notes). The line, translated to English, says "He didn't know, he didn't know that this love would save him". I tried to look for similar lyrics on the web but there is nothing even close, I have no idea how I came out with it in my dream. Interesting stuff, let me tell you. There were also bears, hipsters on TED talk and metal violins, but nothing of clear importance I think.

I was supposed to go to the cinema with 3 different persons this week and none of the go out came to be. What the actual f**k?
1) Girl I asked out on a date stopped responding to my messages.
2) My female friend doesn't seem to be able to find good enough hours when I know she has plenty of time.
3) My ex which begged me to be friends with her has overtime at work.
What the heck is going on?

(11-09-2016, 02:41 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I was supposed to go to the cinema with 3 different persons this week and none of the go out came to be. What the actual f**k?
1) Girl I asked out on a date stopped responding to my messages.
2) My female friend doesn't seem to be able to find good enough hours when I know she has plenty of time.
3) My ex which begged me to be friends with her has overtime at work.
What the heck is going on?

This is still V2.4, correct?

(11-09-2016, 02:48 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]This is still V2.4, correct?

Yes, I'm on 2.4 since Saturday or Sunday I think, I don't remember exactly. 2.5 before that.

(11-09-2016, 02:55 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-09-2016, 02:48 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]This is still V2.4, correct?

Yes, I'm on 2.4 since Saturday or Sunday I think, I don't remember exactly. 2.5 before that.

Were the girl you asked out and the begging ex-gf products of running V2.5? If so, switching may have flubbed things up would be my only guess.

(11-09-2016, 03:15 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]Were the girl you asked out and the begging ex-gf products of running V2.5? If so, switching may have flubbed things up would be my only guess.

That girl stopped responding to my messages somewhere around switching to 2.4, yes.

As to my ex we ended up going out anyway, I've just returned from meeting with her. She wanted to be friends since forever, but I didn't like her attitude towards me and so I cut all ties 3 or 4 weeks ago. Things are quite complicated right now, I certainly have little to no intention of stopping looking for some other hook-ups for her. So far I'm not being needy about her and getting back into relationship with her seems alien for me so I can be friends with her confortably. Sadly, as far as I know myself, this will change as I have more exposure to her. Time will tell though.

Also Doctor Strange is a great movie, great visual effect and some very nice humor.

Gonna do myself a break from DMSI up until version 3 is up or limit it to one loop only like I did today. I think I could use a break and perhaps clearing my head before new version is not a bad idea. I just hope it will be out soon

Started listening to DMSI 2.4 as there is no clue as to when 3 will be released.

Pause might have give me some good, however, as yesterday I had probably my best presentation at Uni ever. I don't remember ever being so confident while public speaking and while it wasn't perfect I felt natural on the stage and felt little to no stress. That's amazing

(11-15-2016, 01:59 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]Started listening to DMSI 2.4 as there is no clue as to when 3 will be released.

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5838-p...#pid142045

Quote:How are things going with V3.0.1 now? I know you said you wanted to get it out by the end of the month, if not sooner.

(11-14-2016, 12:45 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I'm aiming to stop adding by the 21st and focus on optimizing and prep for build, and release it on or before the 27th.

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-7535-p...#pid142131

(11-13-2016, 11:31 AM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 2.5 has been awful for me, guess I need alot of clearing/healing, I've been resisting all of it and it's made people/relationships hostile and seems like my social skills have gone completely down the drain lol.

(11-14-2016, 06:08 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]2.4 or 3.0.1 A for you for a long time.

Thanks 4Kingdoms, that's what I get for not following other journals

There was this situation last week, I didn't think about this that much but maybe there is something to it so I though I'll post it here. I was walking down the street with my ex, talking after leaving the cinema, and she asked me if she looks more beautiful than usual because she noticed a lot of people started to smile to her suddenly. Normally that wouldn't surprise me, she's beautiful woman and she has strong aura all on her own, but maybe my DMSI somehow amplified her aura by proximity? I don't think they were smiling to me as I would notice (I get some IOIs on streets but not that many). I didn't expose her to DMSI one bit so that's out of the question.

On other news I really think if DMSI is the right focus for me right now, I stopped getting any significant IOIs since switching to 2.4 but I do feel better, much more confident and self-assured. I really think I need that more than attention from women but I'm too curious as to where all of this will go to stop just yet. Still third run of AM6 looms somewhere in the back of my head. That will wait for 2017 though.