01-27-2019, 02:14 PM
Or this version is making progress that your subconscious can't fight, so it's getting depressed at the imminent and inevitable changes that are coming, and happening, if you keep going.
01-27-2019, 02:14 PM
01-28-2019, 05:10 AM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 6
I know Shannon, and as I'm saying I'm not quitting. If anything the fact that I'm getting slowly better makes my resolve even stronger. I'm slowly getting used to the new version. I'd just wish I had a smooth ride and results like I had with 3.3. That being said my habits from 3.3 hold, but mostly because those are habits, not because I want to improve myself with them.
I'm having strange dreams recently. Today for example I was dreaming about my ex, she was telling me how bitter she is because I don't love her or something. To make her feel better I kissed her and that was such a forced and unemotional kiss that I felt empty and ashamed inside.
(01-27-2019, 02:14 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Or this version is making progress that your subconscious can't fight, so it's getting depressed at the imminent and inevitable changes that are coming, and happening, if you keep going.
I know Shannon, and as I'm saying I'm not quitting. If anything the fact that I'm getting slowly better makes my resolve even stronger. I'm slowly getting used to the new version. I'd just wish I had a smooth ride and results like I had with 3.3. That being said my habits from 3.3 hold, but mostly because those are habits, not because I want to improve myself with them.
I'm having strange dreams recently. Today for example I was dreaming about my ex, she was telling me how bitter she is because I don't love her or something. To make her feel better I kissed her and that was such a forced and unemotional kiss that I felt empty and ashamed inside.
01-29-2019, 10:18 AM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 7
I'll bo going for the mandatory 3 days long break tomorrow.
For the first time since starting 3.3.1 I start feeling optimistic. Still I feel like the resistance is the strongest it's been the entire week. I feel tired even though I had plenty of sleep and I ate well. My motivation to work is lacking, not enough so that I will suffer for that down the line but I feel like I should and could have done more. I still feel confused at times, not knowing what should I do with my time. However I know that all of this is not the status quo and I'm sure things will get better with time as I'm using DMSI for a longer time.
Also my NoFap went down to the drains, although interestingly porn is no longer as attractive to me as it was before. It's not that it became repulsive, it became... boring. Simply less interesting and engaging than it used to. I sincerely hope that this one change of perspective will last!
Oh, and I have this thought telling me I should listen to DMSI even through the break. Well, Shannon told we should do 7 on and 3 off and I'll stick to that!
I'll bo going for the mandatory 3 days long break tomorrow.
For the first time since starting 3.3.1 I start feeling optimistic. Still I feel like the resistance is the strongest it's been the entire week. I feel tired even though I had plenty of sleep and I ate well. My motivation to work is lacking, not enough so that I will suffer for that down the line but I feel like I should and could have done more. I still feel confused at times, not knowing what should I do with my time. However I know that all of this is not the status quo and I'm sure things will get better with time as I'm using DMSI for a longer time.
Also my NoFap went down to the drains, although interestingly porn is no longer as attractive to me as it was before. It's not that it became repulsive, it became... boring. Simply less interesting and engaging than it used to. I sincerely hope that this one change of perspective will last!
Oh, and I have this thought telling me I should listen to DMSI even through the break. Well, Shannon told we should do 7 on and 3 off and I'll stick to that!
01-29-2019, 10:23 AM
(01-29-2019, 10:18 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]Oh, and I have this thought telling me I should listen to DMSI even through the break. Well, Shannon told we should do 7 on and 3 off and I'll stick to that!
If you recall reading earlier versions of DMSI, before ASRB2 was required. The testers would take the 21 day break/35 day break depending on the version and they would see the "Bloom Effect". Enjoy your 3 day break!!
01-29-2019, 10:42 AM
(01-29-2019, 10:18 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3.1D Day 7
I'll bo going for the mandatory 3 days long break tomorrow.
For the first time since starting 3.3.1 I start feeling optimistic. Still I feel like the resistance is the strongest it's been the entire week. I feel tired even though I had plenty of sleep and I ate well. My motivation to work is lacking, not enough so that I will suffer for that down the line but I feel like I should and could have done more. I still feel confused at times, not knowing what should I do with my time. However I know that all of this is not the status quo and I'm sure things will get better with time as I'm using DMSI for a longer time.
Also my NoFap went down to the drains, although interestingly porn is no longer as attractive to me as it was before. It's not that it became repulsive, it became... boring. Simply less interesting and engaging than it used to. I sincerely hope that this one change of perspective will last!
Oh, and I have this thought telling me I should listen to DMSI even through the break. Well, Shannon told we should do 7 on and 3 off and I'll stick to that!
In this case, I would like to see what happens when you listen to that voice telling you to keep going. I don't think it's an effort to escape. Go ahead and listen to it. See what happens if you let it guide you on when to take a break and for how long.
01-29-2019, 10:58 AM
(01-29-2019, 10:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]In this case, I would like to see what happens when you listen to that voice telling you to keep going. I don't think it's an effort to escape. Go ahead and listen to it. See what happens if you let it guide you on when to take a break and for how long.
I feel the same urge as I'm convinced that I hsouldn't take a break. 3.3 breaks were supremely awful, dreading, melancholic, and I-don't-find-any-more-bad-words-for-it kind.
01-29-2019, 12:15 PM
(01-29-2019, 10:58 AM)Tigerismyspirit Wrote: [ -> ](01-29-2019, 10:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]In this case, I would like to see what happens when you listen to that voice telling you to keep going. I don't think it's an effort to escape. Go ahead and listen to it. See what happens if you let it guide you on when to take a break and for how long.
I feel the same urge as I'm convinced that I hsouldn't take a break. 3.3 breaks were supremely awful, dreading, melancholic, and I-don't-find-any-more-bad-words-for-it kind.
Well then are you not wanting to take a break because you consciously fear the fallout, or because subconsciously you are trying to guide yourself to the best possible success? If it's the former, take the break. If it's the latter, follow your inner guidance.
01-29-2019, 12:36 PM
(01-29-2019, 10:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ](01-29-2019, 10:18 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3.1D Day 7
I'll bo going for the mandatory 3 days long break tomorrow.
For the first time since starting 3.3.1 I start feeling optimistic. Still I feel like the resistance is the strongest it's been the entire week. I feel tired even though I had plenty of sleep and I ate well. My motivation to work is lacking, not enough so that I will suffer for that down the line but I feel like I should and could have done more. I still feel confused at times, not knowing what should I do with my time. However I know that all of this is not the status quo and I'm sure things will get better with time as I'm using DMSI for a longer time.
Also my NoFap went down to the drains, although interestingly porn is no longer as attractive to me as it was before. It's not that it became repulsive, it became... boring. Simply less interesting and engaging than it used to. I sincerely hope that this one change of perspective will last!
Oh, and I have this thought telling me I should listen to DMSI even through the break. Well, Shannon told we should do 7 on and 3 off and I'll stick to that!
In this case, I would like to see what happens when you listen to that voice telling you to keep going. I don't think it's an effort to escape. Go ahead and listen to it. See what happens if you let it guide you on when to take a break and for how long.
Normally I would think Shannon is trolling when saying you can go against the rules, but response says otherwise so I'll take the advice to the heart. I'll try this out depending on what I'll feel tomorrow.
02-01-2019, 03:31 AM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 10
I decided to err on the side of caution and take the 3 day break. Tomorrow I'll start the next week and I'll keep you posted.
On the 8th day I felt very good. I felt almost as strong and optimistic as with 3.3. I contributed it to the "bloom" effect, subconscious being able to execute without being nagged by the subliminal.
Yesterday was weard though. First of all I wanted to do a lot of work and it didn't do too well. At moment I felt dumb, like my IQ fell down 50 points, I was disorganized and couldn't focus. Then I met my female friend (the one sending me boob pictures) and we went for a quick beer. I usually take beer just fine, but this one made me feel almost sick. Lastly I went back to my parents for the weekend and I learned that my father went to the hospital. Some minor problems with his guts but may turn out to be more serious. Of course he was too proud to inform me and I was told only when I arrived.
I'm gonna stay at my parents' for the weekend, help them out (especially my mother sitting alone in the house and being scared shitless for my father) as I can. I hope all will turn out well.
I decided to err on the side of caution and take the 3 day break. Tomorrow I'll start the next week and I'll keep you posted.
On the 8th day I felt very good. I felt almost as strong and optimistic as with 3.3. I contributed it to the "bloom" effect, subconscious being able to execute without being nagged by the subliminal.
Yesterday was weard though. First of all I wanted to do a lot of work and it didn't do too well. At moment I felt dumb, like my IQ fell down 50 points, I was disorganized and couldn't focus. Then I met my female friend (the one sending me boob pictures) and we went for a quick beer. I usually take beer just fine, but this one made me feel almost sick. Lastly I went back to my parents for the weekend and I learned that my father went to the hospital. Some minor problems with his guts but may turn out to be more serious. Of course he was too proud to inform me and I was told only when I arrived.
I'm gonna stay at my parents' for the weekend, help them out (especially my mother sitting alone in the house and being scared shitless for my father) as I can. I hope all will turn out well.
02-02-2019, 08:59 AM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 11
Back from the break and running the loops.
Thank whom/whatever you wish (especially the doctors!) my father is fine. He had a surgery but everything turned up well and he should he fine once surgical cuts heal.
Needless to say I don't feel so well, I'm still kind of worried about him and my mother. Sadly I have to leave for the city tomorrow. And to be honest I want to as well, there is little for me to do at my parents' and boredom is what allows for worry in the first place.
The most shocking thing about all of this was that for the first time I realized my father may die. I know it sounds silly, of course he'll die, but that's always somewhere far into the future. Now it seemed terribly real. Despite the fact that I am adult, I don't live with them and I am fully independent I don't think I'm ready for something like this.
Back from the break and running the loops.
Thank whom/whatever you wish (especially the doctors!) my father is fine. He had a surgery but everything turned up well and he should he fine once surgical cuts heal.
Needless to say I don't feel so well, I'm still kind of worried about him and my mother. Sadly I have to leave for the city tomorrow. And to be honest I want to as well, there is little for me to do at my parents' and boredom is what allows for worry in the first place.
The most shocking thing about all of this was that for the first time I realized my father may die. I know it sounds silly, of course he'll die, but that's always somewhere far into the future. Now it seemed terribly real. Despite the fact that I am adult, I don't live with them and I am fully independent I don't think I'm ready for something like this.
02-03-2019, 12:41 PM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 12
I'm scared.
I know this is a broad statement and explains little but it's the only sentence that truly encapsulates how I feel right now.
This whole situation with my father scares me shitless. Not me myself, not for myself. For my mother. If he's gone (and given his health he's sure to be gone before her) I don't know how she'll keep on going. I know I overexaggerate and he has still years to live but the vision of him being at some time gone is so real and scary right now.
I'm scared of the relationship. I feel like the Universe (or is it my wicked wishful thinking?) is pushing me into a relationship I might want but its all so blurry and I'm not ready. If anything I listen to DMSI to open my options, my horizons. I'm so young and have so much to experience and yet I'm so stuck and scared.
I'm scared of going forward. I feel so comfortable where and how I am right now I wish it never changed. But life is always changing and I need to keep up with it. It's like a plane - if it were to stop it would fall from the sky, but it stays ups because it keeps going.
Finally I'm scared of myself. How much crap I cannot reasonably explain is there in me? How many fears for reasons unknown lurk to be discovered and possibly so so soooo hard to deal with. How long I'll have to struggle to be someone I could take real pride in?
I hate this version of DMSI. And I love it. What I feel about it are harsh realizations I'm not quite ready to accept and adapt to. There are reasons we surround ourselves with lies and fears. It makes us safer and more grounded in our predicament. Getting rid of that feels like being sucked in the quicksand.
Can't wait for day 90.
I'm scared.
I know this is a broad statement and explains little but it's the only sentence that truly encapsulates how I feel right now.
This whole situation with my father scares me shitless. Not me myself, not for myself. For my mother. If he's gone (and given his health he's sure to be gone before her) I don't know how she'll keep on going. I know I overexaggerate and he has still years to live but the vision of him being at some time gone is so real and scary right now.
I'm scared of the relationship. I feel like the Universe (or is it my wicked wishful thinking?) is pushing me into a relationship I might want but its all so blurry and I'm not ready. If anything I listen to DMSI to open my options, my horizons. I'm so young and have so much to experience and yet I'm so stuck and scared.
I'm scared of going forward. I feel so comfortable where and how I am right now I wish it never changed. But life is always changing and I need to keep up with it. It's like a plane - if it were to stop it would fall from the sky, but it stays ups because it keeps going.
Finally I'm scared of myself. How much crap I cannot reasonably explain is there in me? How many fears for reasons unknown lurk to be discovered and possibly so so soooo hard to deal with. How long I'll have to struggle to be someone I could take real pride in?
I hate this version of DMSI. And I love it. What I feel about it are harsh realizations I'm not quite ready to accept and adapt to. There are reasons we surround ourselves with lies and fears. It makes us safer and more grounded in our predicament. Getting rid of that feels like being sucked in the quicksand.
Can't wait for day 90.
02-03-2019, 03:07 PM
Say goodbye to fear
02-04-2019, 09:28 AM
DMSI 3.3.1D Day 13
Yeah fear, GTFO!
Not much to talk, I don't feel too good, however I feel like huge part of it is my subconscious trying to make the victim out of me. I don't know how to explain this. It's just that I don't really have strength and will to do anything. Like I can only stare at the wall or watch stupid YouTube films.
It will pass, all I need is to make myself useful. I hope I'll be able to break this threshold tomorrow at work, if not then I'll try to figure something else out.
I decided to buy LTU 4, I will want to listen to it anyways and I have the money so why not? I'll switch to it in May, until then I want to finish 90 days of DMSI and see what happens. It doesn't matter if I'll be drowning in pussy or I'll get nothing - I think LTU will do well for me in the long run and I'll be able to come back to DMSI some time later anyways.
(02-03-2019, 03:07 PM)Shadow2200 Wrote: [ -> ]Say goodbye to fear
Yeah fear, GTFO!
Not much to talk, I don't feel too good, however I feel like huge part of it is my subconscious trying to make the victim out of me. I don't know how to explain this. It's just that I don't really have strength and will to do anything. Like I can only stare at the wall or watch stupid YouTube films.
It will pass, all I need is to make myself useful. I hope I'll be able to break this threshold tomorrow at work, if not then I'll try to figure something else out.
I decided to buy LTU 4, I will want to listen to it anyways and I have the money so why not? I'll switch to it in May, until then I want to finish 90 days of DMSI and see what happens. It doesn't matter if I'll be drowning in pussy or I'll get nothing - I think LTU will do well for me in the long run and I'll be able to come back to DMSI some time later anyways.
02-04-2019, 02:14 PM
(02-04-2019, 09:28 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3.1D Day 13
(02-03-2019, 03:07 PM)Shadow2200 Wrote: [ -> ]Say goodbye to fear
Yeah fear, GTFO!
Not much to talk, I don't feel too good, however I feel like huge part of it is my subconscious trying to make the victim out of me. I don't know how to explain this. It's just that I don't really have strength and will to do anything. Like I can only stare at the wall or watch stupid YouTube films.
It will pass, all I need is to make myself useful. I hope I'll be able to break this threshold tomorrow at work, if not then I'll try to figure something else out.
I decided to buy LTU 4, I will want to listen to it anyways and I have the money so why not? I'll switch to it in May, until then I want to finish 90 days of DMSI and see what happens. It doesn't matter if I'll be drowning in pussy or I'll get nothing - I think LTU will do well for me in the long run and I'll be able to come back to DMSI some time later anyways.
LTU dose look great