Whatever the case is, she's trying hard to validate her reasons for not being where she would be otherwise... and that says she's more than a little interested. Either in you, or in at least having you believe her. Very possibly DMSI related.
I thought I'd talk about my current anxiety right now, if anything to help Shannon out by showing what the sub does. I have really no idea what exactly is going on, it's so easy to speculate but a lot of is happening and it's hard for me to really splice it out. Also I'd like to point out that a lot of what I'll be describing here reminds me of my behavior during my BIATBW run and given goals of that sub and DMSI are similar and both times I've been after full AM6 run it makes kind of sense.
There are basically three things that help me out with my anxiety:
* focusing on my mission,
* alcohol,
* reading manosphere materials.
First point is fine, but it takes lots of mindpower as my mission is basically learning. It gives me high when I learn a thing or two but I cannot do this all day, my brain needs some rest. Also sometimes it's hard to find motivation, it's easier to wasted some time on this and that and while it's relaxing when I realize what I've done it only makes me feel worse.
Alcohol is good medicine, but every medicine in too big of a dose becomes a poison. In fact it only helps because it dumbs me. It's not a solution, if anything it's something that buys some time but might bring more problems in the long run.
Before talking about the last point I'll talk about things that help somewhat but not really. When I am in social setting, or even with just a friend things are fine, I don't feel much anxiety, but once I'm alone with just my thoughts it all goes back again. I'm also doing my Walking Zen kind of exercises and its effects really very, but mostly I'd get a boost while walking which dies out as soon as I go back to my flat. Still it helps me sort my thoughts and find roots of my issues, so while not healing it's still helpful.
Last point is most interesting one I think and the reason why I'm writing this post. Reading about being alpha, nature of women etc. really help me out. It's like it wakes me up from the trance, makes me realize harsh reality and while truth is unpleasant the realization is smoothing. Funnily enough I'm reading a lot of Red Pill recently, something that a while ago I called something in line with "informative but bitter and nihilistic". Now I really find lots of truth in it as if some kind of realization inside me happened between my first read of Red Pill and now.
All of this makes me quite motivated really. In the past I'd always have this feeling I can do something but I wouldn't follow through on it. I remember at least twice I had written that I'm about to join a gym and I didn't do it in the end. Guess what? Today I went to the local gym to ask about and see what the atmosphere is there. I broke through my anxiety and went there and it seems like actually quite a cool place. I will go there for a workout on Thursday and I'll see if I'll like it enough to get a membership. I could really use some training so I hope I'll be able to force myself though the anxiety connected to the gym and make going there a habit.
Why the Red Pill works so well for me I think is because of what was going on during my second AM6 run. I've written about this in my run summary but basically that run coincided with my toxic relationship with my ex. Even though I know a lot theory about women from manosphere I didn't had much experience to back it with so I was willing to give her a chance and prove the theory wrong. She proved it right. And even though I'm still unwilling to give up some of my romantic believes the fact that my story with her is not unlike stories of many others gives me some closure and cuts down hope that would hold me hostage instead. You might think that AM6 didn't work too well if that was happening but in fact I think this is what saved me, if not for that I would be probably her beta lapdog to this day. If anything while listening to the AM6 I was still in hope that she will finally respect me and follow on her words about how much she loves me. Now, although still with not all my heart but with bigger part of it each passing day, I'm letting go.
I won't be posting probably for a week or two, it's really hard to say, so at least I wanted to tell you what I'm up to. Well, as I've said before a lot of crazy staff is going on in my life right now, both externally and internally, but I plan to bring it up to 11. First of all I'll be going full NoFap, I hope I can do more than 5 days but it's realistic as long as I stay determined and I get away from porn a mile away. I'll do this so that I can reuse my LOA techniques (the same that brought me my ex) that I've been using in conjuncture with BIATBW a year ago. I'm not sure how this will go but I really wanna focus myself on this goal. It's not to say that I'll give up on other activities to better myself (like finally starting going to the gym) but it means the less distractions (like reporting back here) that make me question myself the better. I give myself a week at least as an experiment, what goes after that we'll see.
One more short paragraph about my thoughts on the subject of seduction and similar. Right now my goal is still romantic relationship and while it's still partly because I think it's possible, I think it's the best way to learn it all about women. If I get that one in million I'll be the happiest guy in the world, if I get another b**ch I'll learn yet another lesson and get invaluable experience. Either way it's better to start f***ing my way through life just yet I think. It might be limiting believes I hold but I think it makes sense.
Damn, I've been absent for a couple of days and new version is out. You guys should do some kind of e-mail notifications for that, seriously. I have no idea if I should stop using 2.4 before 2.5 but unless I find info about that in the next 30 minutes I will switch and have fun with it right away.
As to what was going on in my life I don't have too many good news. Resistance is high, productivity low and anxieties, while manageable, are still present. It may be flu that I start to get symptoms of but I don't feel like much and to be honest 2 days ago or so I felt more hopeless than I felt in a long time. It went away, but it is worrying me a bit.
Also, and I'm sad to tell you this guys, but I seems to get much less to none at all manifestations and IoIs. Something was happening a couple weeks back but it went away. I cut my exposure so maybe that was it but since 2.5 requires even less of it I don't plan to up it right now.
I decided I will not post my plans here after TEDx talk I've watched recently. I will keep you posted on my progress every now and then when I'll decide to check if new version of DMSI is out.
Just a song I started to really like recently, thought I might help understand my mindset right now. Enjoy
(10-15-2016, 01:57 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I decided I will not post my plans here after TEDx talk I've watched recently.
Do you have a link to the video you watched recently of TEDx Talk??
(10-15-2016, 04:40 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2016, 02:39 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2016, 01:57 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I decided I will not post my plans here after TEDx talk I've watched recently.
Do you have a link to the video you watched recently of TEDx Talk??
Sure thing
https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_k...anguage=en
In Magick, Hermeticism and other forms of mental alchemy, this is known as the "code of silence." And it does indeed work.
(10-15-2016, 04:45 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2016, 04:40 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2016, 02:39 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-15-2016, 01:57 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I decided I will not post my plans here after TEDx talk I've watched recently.
Do you have a link to the video you watched recently of TEDx Talk??
Sure thing
https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_k...anguage=en
In Magick, Hermeticism and other forms of mental alchemy, this is known as the "code of silence." And it does indeed work.
Awesome, could you please tell me more about this, through PM if possible?
2.5 feels different than 2.4. I feel lighter, less anxious and more productive.
I'm getting IOIs again and I had a couple of interesting chance encounters this past week. This is starting to get quite interesting
I am really not sure if I'm doing something wrong, maybe I'm being too insecure or too needy but I seem to have this problem with girls a lot since forever and now it's being more obvious than ever before as I deal with 2 or even 3 such cases right now. The thing is I would ask a girl out and chat with her a bit, however while she seems to want to meet up she doesn't seem to be able to find time for me and she hardly texts with me. In other words she's being nice and plays along but I need to initialize everything and it's hard to make her do anything. I'd always assume they are interested, otherwise why would they agree in the first place, but if she was truly interested she'd easily find some time, at least that's what I'd do.
(10-31-2016, 08:49 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I am really not sure if I'm doing something wrong, maybe I'm being too insecure or too needy but I seem to have this problem with girls a lot since forever and now it's being more obvious than ever before as I deal with 2 or even 3 such cases right now. The thing is I would ask a girl out and chat with her a bit, however while she seems to want to meet up she doesn't seem to be able to find time for me and she hardly texts with me. In other words she's being nice and plays along but I need to initialize everything and it's hard to make her do anything. I'd always assume they are interested, otherwise why would they agree in the first place, but if she was truly interested she'd easily find some time, at least that's what I'd do.
Most women/girls love attention. You are correct about your assumption, When she is interested she will easily find some time for you!!
Do you know what you want??
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8077-p...#pid139689
(10-31-2016, 09:05 AM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-31-2016, 08:49 AM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]I am really not sure if I'm doing something wrong, maybe I'm being too insecure or too needy but I seem to have this problem with girls a lot since forever and now it's being more obvious than ever before as I deal with 2 or even 3 such cases right now. The thing is I would ask a girl out and chat with her a bit, however while she seems to want to meet up she doesn't seem to be able to find time for me and she hardly texts with me. In other words she's being nice and plays along but I need to initialize everything and it's hard to make her do anything. I'd always assume they are interested, otherwise why would they agree in the first place, but if she was truly interested she'd easily find some time, at least that's what I'd do.
Most women/girls love attention. You are correct about your assumption, When she is interested she will easily find some time for you!!
Do you know what you want?? http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8077-p...#pid139689
Well, that's disappointing. I'm getting IOIs and chance encounters every now and then, but DMSI doesn't seem to make girls really chase after me, and when I try to make heavy lifting it gives little reward. We'll see what the future holds though, maybe something will change.
[EDIT]
I just noticed your link. This might be it, to be honest I don't know what I want, or rather I change my views on it on pretty much daily basis. I might write more about my train of though if you want to (as well as describe the girls I'm dealing with right now in context of whether or not I truly want them), but I'm not sure if that would be useful or informative right now.