Subliminal Talk

DMSI 3.3D Day 15

I report as I prepare myself for the party later today. The feeling of tiredness and anxiety returned, I'm not sure what's the cause of it. I also had quite a terrible sleep, I went to for a nap around 8PM with intention to go to a shop later but I woke up at midnight so I went back to sleep. I woke up at least 3 times after that. It explains tiredness but not necessarily anxiety.

I decided to run ultrasonic right now on my laptop instead of hybrid later tonight, but it doesn't change much, if anything it might make things a little bit worse. I think I don't react too well to the ultrasonic format, especially compared to hybrid at night.

DMSI 3.3D Day 16

Today I've slept for 12 hours and again I was waking up often during the night.

Party was quite fun, I sit mostly with my friends and had some laughs. My crush from way back when wasn't there, I stumbled upon her as she was leaving for the bus station. I asked why she's not at the party and she said she has train in an hour anyway and everyone is being late so she didn't bother to stay for long. Better for me I guess. Nothing interesting happened beside, just 6 hours with my friends.

What was interesting was how I felt when I came back home. I was very sad, passive-aggressive and anxious. Alcohol might have played some role here but I had fun at the party and the change in behavior was like a flip of a switch.

DMSI 3.3D Day 18

All I wanted to write today is this - Merry Christmas everybody! I wish all the best of luck in the world and I hope all your dreams and wishes will come true. Take care y'all!

DMSI 3.3D Day 21

Christmas was fun, I've spend all of it with my family and had opportunity to have some rest from day-to-day life. I felt generally good throughout, maybe some anxiety but nothing significant.

One thing I'm very proud of is cutting down number of cigarretes I smoke, in the last 2 weeks I went down from around 15 a day to around 11 and I want to go down to at most 5 before spring. Like I said few posts back I take self-improvement seriously nowadays, we'll see where such gradual but consistant changes will lead me

quiting smoking is certainly the best decision you can take!

After several failed attempts, I have finally succeeded to quit for good 11 years ago.

From experience, I can tell that the approach that worked for me was cold turkey. If you reduce gradually quantity, have a date where you are going to stop completely otherwise, you maintain the strong nicotine dependency...

DMSI 3.3D Day 23

Back at it with the 4th week of DMSI. I'm back in the city, it's always nice to visit parents for some time but not for too long - their overprotective attitude gets boring quite quickly. I feel a little bit guilty for not working this whole week but since I have vacation until 2nd week of January that's just stupid talk . Also I don't plan anything fancy for the New Years celebration, just a bottle of good whisky with my friend. I might be getting too old for this

Lots of talk about masturbation and NoFap on the forums so I will contribute my perspective. While it's easier to abstain while on DMSI it is still quite hard for me. In the past, while trying NoFap, after a few days (3-5 most typically) I would get an urge and if I only had the privacy I would almost have to fap (just like you almost have to eat when you're hungry and there in food on the table). Pattern would go like this: random erotic thought -> just a peak -> fap. Now I still get erotic thoughts (arguably even more of them), but it's easier to stop myself from peaking. If I do however it's over, hormones rush in and I need to finish what I've started.

I think I may try NoFap as my New Years commitment, however I've always looked at it more as a change of lifestyle than a challange so I don't know if it's the best idea. I think I'll try it just to see what DMSI will allow me to do with the build-up of sexual energy

I think Have at ye posted something a couple days back about how DMSI makes him retrospective (sorry if I remember wrong ) with some musings on the C version and I agree, I have that too. I spend quite some time (mostly in bed before sleep) on contemplaiting what I do and did wrong, what kind of man I want to be and what kind of relationship I see myself in. Interestingly enough, while this sort of thinking would bring me to sadness or powerlessness in the past, now I fell forgiveness to myself as well as a sense of patience and hope. Like I just know that if I stay on the current trajectory everything is going to be fine.

I haven't decided if and when I will switch to 3.3C. I think I'll wait a month after it releases and read opinions of others. Also Shannon, if you read this, what would you suggest? If not as a personal advice then simply in terms of which choice would bring you the most useful data

Other thing of note I found out during the Christmas was how strong my intuition has gotten. I don't want to get into details as it is quite personal but I predicted two events. Well, predicted is a bad word as outcome was a little bit different than I thought on both occasions, but the general idea held. TID maybe?

(12-27-2018, 02:32 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]quiting smoking is certainly the best decision you can take!

After several failed attempts, I have finally succeeded to quit for good 11 years ago.

From experience, I can tell that the approach that worked for me was cold turkey. If you reduce gradually quantity, have a date where you are going to stop completely otherwise, you maintain the strong nicotine dependency...

The thing is ... I'm not sure if I want to drop them completely. There are two reasons for and two reasons against smoking for me:

• That crap is expensive! If I stop smoking as I did not long ago after a year I would afford newest Samsung Galaxy or some nice trip out od the country. It's simply not worth the cost. As I call it, smoking is taxation for stupidity.
  
• This is pretty obvious and I don't think I need to elaborate much - health. More money I can earn, lost health I will not regain.
  
• Most people in my social circle do smoke and also I am more likely to smoke after some drinks, so I know that even if I ditch smoking completely I will want to smoke on some social occations.
  
• Smoking really helps me with stress and my work. During work going out for a smoke gives me this 10 minute break when I can let my thoughts wonder and it really helps. You have no idea how many times I found solution to some problem at work fresh after such a break.
  

And thus I certainly want to limit my smoking but not necessarily quit it just yet. Maybe I will change my perspective in the future, cons outweight the pros for sure.

(12-29-2018, 05:33 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3D Day 23


[*]Smoking really helps me with stress and my work. During work going out for a smoke gives me this 10 minute break when I can let my thoughts wonder and it really helps. You have no idea how many times I found solution to some problem at work fresh after such a break.
[/list]
And thus I certainly want to limit my smoking but not necessarily quit it just yet. Maybe I will change my perspective in the future, cons outweight the pros for sure.

I'm curious with the reason posted above. If you need a break why not just take one and go for a walk? Would it not serve the same purpose as a smoke break? I often go out for a walk for a bit during the workday to get out and take a break and it helps me feel refreshed and more awake...especially after lunch.

Ok, I respect your decision. I guess that maybe you are younger than me.

I know that when I started smoking around 16 years old, I made a deal with myself that I didn't want to smoke past 30...

I had a very hard time to respect that deal. After many failures that I attribute to the pleasure associated with smoking. At every attempt, I was sad and depressed with the idea of not ever again experience that pleasure.

Finally, I succeeded when I was 33. It was time... Just running a mile when you smoke is terrible... Every morning, I was coughing and my lungs were hurting. That was wake-up call.

For when you are ready, if there is 1 thing that I would have wished someone to tell me to give me hope it is this:

Once you get rid of the habit, after some time, there is ZERO regret and ZERO desire to ever smoke again... This is gone for good...

So know that at the beginning, there is a lot turbulence and it is very hard but there is definitely a light at the end...

You will know when it is the time to quit for you.

Happy new year!

(12-29-2018, 06:19 PM)HMoody Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-29-2018, 05:33 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3D Day 23


[*]Smoking really helps me with stress and my work. During work going out for a smoke gives me this 10 minute break when I can let my thoughts wonder and it really helps. You have no idea how many times I found solution to some problem at work fresh after such a break.
[/list]
And thus I certainly want to limit my smoking but not necessarily quit it just yet. Maybe I will change my perspective in the future, cons outweight the pros for sure.

I'm curious with the reason posted above. If you need a break why not just take one and go for a walk? Would it not serve the same purpose as a smoke break? I often go out for a walk for a bit during the workday to get out and take a break and it helps me feel refreshed and more awake...especially after lunch.

I was thinking about something like that as I was writing the post and you're right. The thing is I started doing this because smoking gave me an excuse to take breaks I think. So all it would take to do is making new habit.

(12-29-2018, 06:35 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, I respect your decision. I guess that maybe you are younger than me.

I know that when I started smoking around 16 years old, I made a deal with myself that I didn't want to smoke past 30...

I had a very hard time to respect that deal. After many failures that I attribute to the pleasure associated with smoking. At every attempt, I was sad and depressed with the idea of not ever again experience that pleasure.

Finally, I succeeded when I was 33. It was time... Just running a mile when you smoke is terrible... Every morning, I was coughing and my lungs were hurting. That was wake-up call.

For when you are ready, if there is 1 thing that I would have wished someone to tell me to give me hope it is this:

Once you get rid of the habit, after some time, there is ZERO regret and ZERO desire to ever smoke again... This is gone for good...

So know that at the beginning, there is a lot turbulence and it is very hard but there is definitely a light at the end...

You will know when it is the time to quit for you.

Happy new year!

Thanks for all the wishes, I appreciate it a lot! Also it's always a reinforcement to know that more people went through this and managed to succeed.

I smoke for only 2.5 years or so. Before that I would smoke during the parties, I started smoking when I was dating my ex and I was doing it more and more when we started arguing. So, in some kind of way, breaking the habit for me means finally dealing with the scars of that relationship.

I definitely want to quit smoking but it requires a lot effort. Right now (from what I experience) that I would not be able to easily stop smoking, but limiting myself to 5 per day is quite possible. Then I can make leap from 5 to 2, from 2 to occasional smoke with friends and then even stop doing that.

I may also think that because of my father. He was smoking for something like 30 years (and I don't think he would have stopped if not for how poor we were back then) and when he finally quit he started eating candies as a habit. Now he looks like he's pregnant. I just fear I might catch some other bad habit in stead of the current one.

You might benefit from reading the product description on this program. You might also benefit from running that program, or reading this book.

DMSI 3.3D Day 24

Yesterday and today I've done some changes I wanted to make for at least a year but I couldn't get bothered to do them - I've formatted my gaming laptop which was chugging for the longest of times and I've rearranged some furniture in my room, giving me more free space and making my work space more efficient.

I have no idea what made me finally do these changes. I tend not to like changes and just be content with how things are, so FRM maybe?

(12-29-2018, 08:25 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]You might benefit from reading the product description on this program. You might also benefit from running that program, or reading this book.

Thank you Shannon for recommendations. As for the book I will surely give it a go, I've read some reviews and those are... interesting, to say the least. As for the program I think I'd save some money for more robust program, like LTU, instead.

I'm not necessarily trying to sell you the program, but the description has some important information. Otherwise I would have suggested you buy the program.

(12-29-2018, 06:52 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-29-2018, 06:19 PM)HMoody Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-29-2018, 05:33 PM)Mystic Pymp Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.3D Day 23


[*]Smoking really helps me with stress and my work. During work going out for a smoke gives me this 10 minute break when I can let my thoughts wonder and it really helps. You have no idea how many times I found solution to some problem at work fresh after such a break.
[/list]
And thus I certainly want to limit my smoking but not necessarily quit it just yet. Maybe I will change my perspective in the future, cons outweight the pros for sure.

I'm curious with the reason posted above. If you need a break why not just take one and go for a walk? Would it not serve the same purpose as a smoke break? I often go out for a walk for a bit during the workday to get out and take a break and it helps me feel refreshed and more awake...especially after lunch.

I was thinking about something like that as I was writing the post and you're right. The thing is I started doing this because smoking gave me an excuse to take breaks I think. So all it would take to do is making new habit.

(12-29-2018, 06:35 PM)lano1106 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok, I respect your decision. I guess that maybe you are younger than me.

I know that when I started smoking around 16 years old, I made a deal with myself that I didn't want to smoke past 30...

I had a very hard time to respect that deal. After many failures that I attribute to the pleasure associated with smoking. At every attempt, I was sad and depressed with the idea of not ever again experience that pleasure.

Finally, I succeeded when I was 33. It was time... Just running a mile when you smoke is terrible... Every morning, I was coughing and my lungs were hurting. That was wake-up call.

For when you are ready, if there is 1 thing that I would have wished someone to tell me to give me hope it is this:

Once you get rid of the habit, after some time, there is ZERO regret and ZERO desire to ever smoke again... This is gone for good...

So know that at the beginning, there is a lot turbulence and it is very hard but there is definitely a light at the end...

You will know when it is the time to quit for you.

Happy new year!

Thanks for all the wishes, I appreciate it a lot! Also it's always a reinforcement to know that more people went through this and managed to succeed.

I smoke for only 2.5 years or so. Before that I would smoke during the parties, I started smoking when I was dating my ex and I was doing it more and more when we started arguing. So, in some kind of way, breaking the habit for me means finally dealing with the scars of that relationship.

I definitely want to quit smoking but it requires a lot effort. Right now (from what I experience) that I would not be able to easily stop smoking, but limiting myself to 5 per day is quite possible. Then I can make leap from 5 to 2, from 2 to occasional smoke with friends and then even stop doing that.

I may also think that because of my father. He was smoking for something like 30 years (and I don't think he would have stopped if not for how poor we were back then) and when he finally quit he started eating candies as a habit. Now he looks like he's pregnant. I just fear I might catch some other bad habit in stead of the current one.

Hey man. The sentence that I made bold...which is why it´s a good idea to proactively to develop a positive habit to replace the old one. So think about what you can do INSTEAD of smoking, something positive, and whenever you need an urge to smoke you do the new habit instead...if you can manage to do it continuously in the beginning then the urge to smoke becomes an automatic trigger to do the new behaviour instead...until you do the new stuff without even thinking about smoking. The biggest challenge is of course to be able to do it in the first place...but just thought to give you one tool/method/way of thinking that might be helpful. You have to fill not only the habit of smoking with something else, but also think about what will you do with that TIME that now frees up when you are not smoking anymore, so that you have already thought about what to do for those few minutes that smoking would take...so that you don´t go like "Need smoke...oh wait...f**k, now what!?" I hope this is helpful.

DMSI 3.3D Day 27

Happy New Year everybody! You know the drill, let this year be better than the last!

Weirdest thing happened during my loops of ultrasonic format, I'll try to describe it down below the dashed line, now I want to respond to the posts.

(12-30-2018, 01:19 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not necessarily trying to sell you the program, but the description has some important information. Otherwise I would have suggested you buy the program.

Sorry @Shannon, I must have read your message poorly and skipped the "description" part. As for the read, well, it's amazing and inspirational. It's almost scary to read through my own thought processes in that description. If that book is equally thought provoking and more in depth, I will surely give it a shot. I need things now that challenge my mindset and give me new perspectives.

(12-30-2018, 01:41 PM)AlphaRomeo Wrote: [ -> ][...]

Hey man. The sentence that I made bold...which is why it´s a good idea to proactively to develop a positive habit to replace the old one. So think about what you can do INSTEAD of smoking, something positive, and whenever you need an urge to smoke you do the new habit instead...if you can manage to do it continuously in the beginning then the urge to smoke becomes an automatic trigger to do the new behaviour instead...until you do the new stuff without even thinking about smoking. The biggest challenge is of course to be able to do it in the first place...but just thought to give you one tool/method/way of thinking that might be helpful. You have to fill not only the habit of smoking with something else, but also think about what will you do with that TIME that now frees up when you are not smoking anymore, so that you have already thought about what to do for those few minutes that smoking would take...so that you don´t go like "Need smoke...oh wait...f**k, now what!?" I hope this is helpful.

Well said and I agree. I should develop new, positive habits. But that's exactly why I don't wanna rush into action and I'd rather be slow and deliberate.

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Ok, so the strangest thing happened. I'm on my 5th day of NoFap (4 days 17 hours right now according to my app) and so I'm already in the phase when all of my runs would end - phase with high horniness and high susceptibility to erotic suggestion. So far it's been easier than usual, I didn't need to seriously fight any urge so far and because of this whole "New Year, New Me" shtick I'm quite motivated to stay on track.

Anyhow, I was listening to ultrasonic on my laptop before bed, I was on the 4th loop I believe, and I started feeling orgasmic. First I would just start feeling funny but the feeling intensified, it was hard to concentrate. Feeling was first concentrated on my balls, later spreading to my entire body. It's not something new, I'd get such feeling sometimes while listening to ultrasonic, but they would last for maybe 10 seconds, this one was much longer. I didn't know what to do with myself so I started walking in circles in my room, the feeling intensifying in my concentration getting worse and worse. In total it lasted for 30-40 minutes with one minute of "all-body climax" where I would get shivers down my spine. It slowly faded away after that. Also I wasn't hard even for a second during the whole thing.

The thing is I used to have unusual responses to DMSI, I believe in 2.4 or 2.5 I similarly spontaneous morphine trips when I would feel light and happy. But that was much, much more intense. Add to that lack of any conscious control over it and seemingly lack of any trigger makes it almost scary.