(03-07-2018, 07:56 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ]Also Matt I thought I add this here for you
As per our conversation a few days ago
Shannon: "A lot of what you talk about doing and experiencing is the reverse of what you should be according to the script.
That is, by definition, reversal resistance.
And when reversing the script, it is usually done with enthusiasm by the subconscious because it is so motivated (by fear) to avoid the actual goals at any cost. So smoothness and naturality is probably just that and possibly an effort to fool you into thinking you're not resisting"
Just wanted to add another point of reference for you that fear is irrational. In this sense, going along with fear (while feeling natural) is actually counter-intuitive to what the person really wants despite them feeling inclined towards this response.
Hence the necessity to remove all fear rather than "working with it".
Thanks. Yeah I actually ran into that post and it got me thinking. You're definitely right. I often gravitate towards what feels "natural". This has been a long-standing issue in my life and it's most definitely fueled by fear.
Looking at my prior posts I now see I was giving in to the fear and making excuses to avoid executing. Removing fear, I'm still not sure if it's possible. Overcoming yes. Seems like in my life I've had to stand face to face with the fear to overcome it. But "working with it" is definitely a trap I have fallen into numerous times.
Overcoming it IS removing it. The shadow on the wall only looks scary until you turn on the lights and see the ant as it actually is.
(03-07-2018, 08:25 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Overcoming it IS removing it. The shadow on the wall only looks scary until you turn on the lights and see the ant as it actually is.
You'll have to excuse me Shannon, I've had endless mind games being played these past few days. These ideas with fear have been tripping me up so much. All I know is that in the past I've had fear stop me from even removing fear. Now it feels as if the wall is doing its job and my mind is going haywire and part of me has lost solid footing and is panicking. So it tries to cling onto old ways, but they aren't there anymore and it's caught in this weird limbo. Stuck between the old and new. It's led to a lot of mental garbage and nonsense being flung at me as well as obsessive overthinking.
(03-07-2018, 08:46 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (03-07-2018, 08:25 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Overcoming it IS removing it. The shadow on the wall only looks scary until you turn on the lights and see the ant as it actually is.
You'll have to excuse me Shannon, I've had endless mind games being played these past few days. These ideas with fear have been tripping me up so much. All I know is that in the past I've had fear stop me from even removing fear. Now it feels as if the wall is doing its job and my mind is going haywire and part of me has lost solid footing and is panicking. So it tries to cling onto old ways, but they aren't there anymore and it's caught in this weird limbo. Stuck between the old and new. It's led to a lot of mental garbage and nonsense being flung at me as well as obsessive overthinking.
I'm just trying to provide you with information that will help you have something positive to latch onto, since I have been there and done that.
In fact I'm in a cycle of doing it again for myself concerning my past relationships.
(03-07-2018, 09:10 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (03-07-2018, 08:46 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (03-07-2018, 08:25 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Overcoming it IS removing it. The shadow on the wall only looks scary until you turn on the lights and see the ant as it actually is.
You'll have to excuse me Shannon, I've had endless mind games being played these past few days. These ideas with fear have been tripping me up so much. All I know is that in the past I've had fear stop me from even removing fear. Now it feels as if the wall is doing its job and my mind is going haywire and part of me has lost solid footing and is panicking. So it tries to cling onto old ways, but they aren't there anymore and it's caught in this weird limbo. Stuck between the old and new. It's led to a lot of mental garbage and nonsense being flung at me as well as obsessive overthinking.
I'm just trying to provide you with information that will help you have something positive to latch onto, since I have been there and done that.
In fact I'm in a cycle of doing it again for myself concerning my past relationships.
Thanks Shannon, I appreciate it.
(03-07-2018, 08:13 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (03-07-2018, 07:56 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ]Also Matt I thought I add this here for you
As per our conversation a few days ago
Shannon: "A lot of what you talk about doing and experiencing is the reverse of what you should be according to the script.
That is, by definition, reversal resistance.
And when reversing the script, it is usually done with enthusiasm by the subconscious because it is so motivated (by fear) to avoid the actual goals at any cost. So smoothness and naturality is probably just that and possibly an effort to fool you into thinking you're not resisting"
Just wanted to add another point of reference for you that fear is irrational. In this sense, going along with fear (while feeling natural) is actually counter-intuitive to what the person really wants despite them feeling inclined towards this response.
Hence the necessity to remove all fear rather than "working with it".
Thanks. Yeah I actually ran into that post and it got me thinking. You're definitely right. I often gravitate towards what feels "natural". This has been a long-standing issue in my life and it's most definitely fueled by fear.
Looking at my prior posts I now see I was giving in to the fear and making excuses to avoid executing. Removing fear, I'm still not sure if it's possible. Overcoming yes. Seems like in my life I've had to stand face to face with the fear to overcome it. But "working with it" is definitely a trap I have fallen into numerous times.
If you can learn a fear, you can also unlearn them too.
I'm sure you might have been afraid of the dark when you were younger, now you're more than happy to have sex with the lights off.
I'm glad you've had these insights Matt. Hopefully you can translate this knowledge into some useful breakthroughs.
Good luck!
Been really butting heads with the part of my mind that doesn't want to change lately. I've been overcoming it through sheer willpower and fighting, but it's been using a lot of energy. I think I need to reassess my strategy for dealing with this. I think I was on the right track by deconstructing the fears and tearing them down. Where I went wrong was going a little too deep and getting lost. It's like my mind will keep creating more and more reasons why I'm afraid as a way to delay me getting to the core. I need to address the real issues, not the distractions that get thrown at me. Use my logical part of my brain more to tear these fears down instead of being overwhelmed and panicking over nothing.
Feels like I had a huge breakthrough today with regards to all this stuff. I've been incredibly anxious for a while now. I had trouble pinpointing it, but I found it recently. I've had less time to work on my music lately and I started panicking that I'd never be good enough at it. I know it's not women, but it feels like DMSI has helped me come to this realization. I've been chasing what I thought would give me happiness and it was making me miserable. And I had such tunnel vision and fear that I absolutely refused to reassess the situation. So today I took a step back and realized the only reason I wanted to get good at music is because I felt like I'd feel more worthwhile as a person. Somewhere along the way I completely lost touch with what inspired me in the first place to make music.
You know, life is short and I can't be making myself miserable worrying about how my music compares to others if it kills the joy of it. Same thing with this whole DMSI thing. You absolutely cannot base your self worth on how many women you attract or have sex with. It sounds obvious, but I know for myself I always told myself that and yet I felt my behavior reflected those beliefs.
I'm going to attempt to deconstruct how much a viscous cycle i was in. Basically I've had a feeling of low worth for most of my life. It grew inside of me and when I reached adulthood I shut it out and denied it. I replaced it with goals I needed to achieve in the form of perfectionism. It all made me incredibly miserable, but whenever I stopped or tried to get off this neurotic perfectionism ride I was hit with a lot of fear. It pretty much told me I needed to do these things, as if my survival was at stake if I didn't achieve them. And I guess to some part of my mind it was, it felt that if I didn't achieve these things I would be abandoned and die. Now when I reflect on my life I feel it's all been motivated by fear. It was this inner feeling that kept me going, but I was constantly strung out, tired, afraid, and couldn't feel at peace. I've never known what it feels like to follow a goal or pursue something from a place of pure joy, without feel that crushing weight of potentially being worthless if I wasn't good enough at it.
Right now it feels like that's changing. Like I'm seeing a different way of viewing life that's completely foreign to me and I had no idea it even existed. One where I can just be, without being burdened by needing to be good at everything. That mentality not only effected my music, but every aspect of my life. Sometimes I couldn't even hang out with friends because I often felt I didn't have enough to add to conversations.
If this is permanent and I don't slip back or anything, I seriously think this will allow me to do anything I put my mind to. I just have to kill that last remaining fear that keeps pulling me back to that perfectionist mentality. I also think the perfectionism in me caused me to avoid executing the sub at times because if I couldn't do a complete 180 it freaked my subconscious out and it rejected it and stopped trying. Man just so much is going through my head right now, I'm just seeing how dysfunctional my whole belief system was and kept me down.
Good to hear.. I hope the positive keeps growing man.
I know Shannon's mentioned it before, but I've really been understanding the importance of focus lately. I still have some quite irrational fears of women, but my focus is now on overcoming that instead of obsessing on how much the fear controls me. When I dealt with fear in the past I'd panic and sort of give up because I felt the fear was too great and there was nothing I could do. I never fought it or attempted to get rid of it, I just gave in to it. You know when deer see headlights and they just stand there? You may think, man that deer is stupid. But that's what I did in my life. Everything outside of my comfort zone was the headlights and instead of figuring out a solution I just froze up and stayed put. I'm not proud of that. In fact my ego was so fragile that when stuff like that happened I'd play out the victim role. People might say "oh it's not your fault, it's just anxiety and anxiety is hard to deal with", but I had a choice. I could have ran or I could have fought. And I ran, like a coward. Then afterwards I played it all up to avoid the fact that I ran and not feel guilty about it.
I haven't been responsible in my life. I flat out haven't. When I entertained that thought in the past I'd often get angry because it felt insulting. But it was true, and the truth hurts sometimes. I think the problem is when your sense of self worth is already low to begin with, it doesn't take much to push you over the edge. So you become overly defensive and avoid thinking about your flaws. I just know that in the past when anyone proposed a way out of my miserable situation I'd take it very personally and would shut them out. That's been my biggest flaw actually, taking things too personally. The irony is you have to have a massive ego for that, but at the same time have crushingly low self esteem. In that regard I'm a bit of a narcissist. I mean hell for most of my life I've exhibited traits of narcissism, but I was too blind to see it.
But it's all a mess really. I can't label it or anything. All I know is I've struggled in my life with a feeling of superiority and grandiosity simultaneously with crushingly low self worth.
Dude, I'm so glad for you to be having those realisations.
Congratulations.
You've discerned for yourself the role the ego plays in limiting the self and you're absolutely right in identifying how rampant it becomes in incompetent people. Remember, it's role is to keep you and your personal identity safe. It's a vital part of the survival mechanism designed to protect your concept of self. The more incompetent a person is, the bigger their ego will be to protect their fragile sense of self. This is notable in the Dunning- Kruger effect.
To give you an example: Women will often conclude that a guy is "gay" (atleast some part of her mind) if she's offered herself to him and he's rejected her to spare her any negative emotions.
The problem with the ego is this; one of two things happen when confronted with uncomfortable truths about ourselves
1) The ego spikes up and the person doesn't learn anything - remaining as they are albeit unaffected emotionally
2) The ego is disengaged and the person takes the learning on board and improves.
You've nailed it by identifying ownership and self acceptance as necessary precursors to outgrowing this condition. Stick with it. I'm rooting for you!
I have to say I am really impressed with how well one particular module I added to DMSI is working for you. I am also really pleased with how much you are growing! I'm rooting for you too, man. Keep going!
I have this personality too.. I used to think I know everything and shit.
Also person will too much ego thinks that he knows better than everyone else and due to this attitude they learn nothing or refuse to learn
But the core of the Ego is fear. Its driven by fear. Its a fear in disguise... And we know fear fucks up a person and so does ego
Thanks guys! It's good to hear I'm on the right track. My mind has taken so many twists and turns over the years that sometimes I worry if I'm really pushing in the right direction.
I am curious though Shannon which module I'm responding so well to? Whatever it is I'm thankful for it, 3.2 intuitively makes more sense than 3.1 if that actually makes any sense haha. It's like I can put together the pieces to figure out things better.