Subliminal Talk

Nobody expects amazing sex on the first time. You don't even know what they like. I would not work about performance, only that you take your time, tease and have good foreplay.

Well, I have never been in date with women and tbh I really don't care about chasing women. (Strange that I am saying.. DMSI?)..

But you and I are same age and skinny also and I totally get what u are saying also how we treat our body like crap but let me tell u if it wasn't for subs.. I would have still be treating my body with crap..

I mean last year I was like one of those guy who would regularly drink Coke and eat KFC and Mc' D but slow and slowly I have lost lost interest in eating those as if I don't even want to even if I wanted to.. I now love eating home cooked meals..The only thing is that I am not working out.

If you really ask me I don't really think a fucked person can change his life in like 3 months.. You can change ur habits in 3 months (as they say) but if u wanna change ur life then u need atleast 2-3 years.. This is just my opinion.. Although I am trying to change my life and thinking since I was 21 but I kept moving and found IML and my healing journey began..

I remember ur post where u said that although u havnt worked on ur external reality u do have worked on ur internal emotions... Man that's the best thing u can do.. Because once u have done that then it won't take much effort to change external reality...

(08-12-2018, 09:50 PM)Leo1990 Wrote: [ -> ]Nobody expects amazing sex on the first time. You don't even know what they like. I would not work about performance, only that you take your time, tease and have good foreplay.

Thanks. Yeah there's probably a bunch of ridiculous stuff floating around in my head about sex.

(08-12-2018, 10:21 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Well, I have never been in date with women and tbh I really don't care about chasing women. (Strange that I am saying.. DMSI?)..

But you and I are same age and skinny also and I totally get what u are saying also how we treat our body like crap but let me tell u if it wasn't for subs.. I would have still be treating my body with crap..

I mean last year I was like one of those guy who would regularly drink Coke and eat KFC and Mc' D but slow and slowly I have lost lost interest in eating those as if I don't even want to even if I wanted to.. I now love eating home cooked meals..The only thing is that I am not working out.

If you really ask me I don't really think a ***** person can change his life in like 3 months.. You can change ur habits in 3 months (as they say) but if u wanna change ur life then u need atleast 2-3 years.. This is just my opinion.. Although I am trying to change my life and thinking since I was 21 but I kept moving and found IML and my healing journey began..

I remember ur post where u said that although u havnt worked on ur external reality u do have worked on ur internal emotions... Man that's the best thing u can do.. Because once u have done that then it won't take much effort to change external reality...

I guess I'm lucky because if I drank coke and ate mcdonalds every day I would get sick. Never could stomach fast food or soda. It's like my body rejected it. But it was equally bad because I just wouldn't eat at all.

Lately I feel like thinking that change takes time is just another limiting belief and a product of fear. I used to be really bad and it did take time to get better. But it's more about finding what works and being efficient vs a long time of brute force tactics. That's pretty much the direction Shannon's subs have gone in anyway which I'm immensely grateful for.

---

I'm kind of stumped on how to reach execution. I was listening to dmsi last night and I started doing a body scan for relaxation. I relaxed every part of my body and was mindful of how I felt, the sensations in me, etc. But I had this immense pressure in my chest, it felt like something was trying to escape out of it. My whole body was relaxed except this part of my chest which was filled with tension. It feels like that's where the resistance is located, the defiant uncooperative part. And my stomach is where the deep fears are. It just felt like a block that I couldn't get through. Like I couldn't completely step over into the new life I wanted.

But aside from that it made me realize I have to be much more mindful of how I feel and to be present in my own body. I've developed a nasty habit of dissociating away when I don't want to deal with something. And I've realized that defense mechanism is used on the dmsi script as well. Since being more present I've become tuned into when I try to disconnect from the instructions of DMSI.

Really nasty stuff popped up last night while listening to dmsi. I had the thought "wait I thought we were passed this?" Apparently not. I had these emotions come up that I was an absolutely terrible, selfish, and manipulative person. I'm still not at the point where I can be myself around others. At times I still get that sensation of performing. But now it's like I'm super irritable and at the same time I'm trying not to hurt other people by being cold and indifferent. So I'm using up my energy to hold back these feelings in day to day life, when really I just want to be left alone.

And yeah it made me want to go back to A. I feel so conflicted inside. I've wanted to grow past all this stuff so much that I ignore it. I keep thinking if I just have a really positive self image I want to achieve, keep moving forward, and don't entertain these emotions they'll just go away. But I don't know how any of this works or how my own mind works. If I need to heal more, if it's just another form of resistance to get me back on A, I really don't know. Last night it just really felt like I've been slapping a bandaid over deeper wounds.

I kind of knew something was up when I was listening to a track by twenty one pilots and got angry at it for being depressing or expressive. It was just a projection of my own insecurities about expressing myself and feeling the need to be 100 % impervious to other emotions besides happiness. Like putting so much pressure on myself to be positive at all times and if I don't I'm a failure. Consequently this is what causes my disconnect between other people, lack of ability to truly connect because I'm too busy trying to put my best foot forward at all times.

Anybody got any advice for staying on A vs B? On one hand I don't want to go into that procrastination healing cycle. On the other hand if I'm not getting to these core issues I'm fighting myself all the time.

Drank coffee today, ran from my problems, just in general it felt like a shit day. But I caused all of it so I've got nobody else to blame but myself.

Thought about going back to sleephones so maybe the sub worked better, but then 90% of the time they end up hanging around my neck. Then I realized maybe that would be a way to escape dmsi. So resistance possibly.

Maybe I don't need the healing from A either. Maybe I think there are deep issues popping up that are nothing more than convenient excuses to not keep pushing forward. If I internalize being an awful person that means I have stuff to heal, and if I have stuff to heal that means I can procrastinate and not execute DMSI! Yay!

Goddamn the lies that go through my head just to hold onto some concept of who I am and what my reality is.

The walls are closing in and my subconscious does not like it. I'm filled with this constant anxiety. My subconscious tries to remove the anxiety with any kind of distraction. But the distractions don't work anymore. They did at one point, but now there's a very strong force that can't be derailed. The only relief I'm going to get from the anxiety at this point is executing DMSI in full. There's no more bargaining or compromising going on in my mind.

The nature of the anxiety is that I'm doing it to myself. If I just focus on pushing past those fears, I'll get rid of the anxiety. It's just a matter of doing that. Of course my subconscious is resisting heavily, manifesting in tight muscles, a strong desire to physically run or move. It's like it wants to escape but knows it can't so it's throwing all this last ditch effort stuff. Needing to go back to healing, switching the format of the sub, turning down the volume, telling me I'm a failure, telling me I'm stressing myself out too much, telling me I'm pushing too hard and something bad is going to happen, getting angry and distracting me from what really needs change, etc.

I'm just hoping that once I tip over this edge that I never have to deal with this again. When I hit that point where I'm past these fears and I no longer have to even think about dealing with them. Still waiting for that moment. Feels like a balloon being slowly inflated until its bursting point. The hardest part is having absolutely no idea how far or close I am to the goals of dmsi.

Reread my insight the other day. Guess I fell off with that mentality. I need to stop putting the focus on fear. That's been my entire life is focusing way too much on fear. Focusing on how things can go wrong instead of how they can go right. If there's a part of me that's still afraid, I need to persuade it through all this. Pushing it doesn't work.

I've realized a lot of this fear is based on past experiences. When I would be myself and people lost interest in me, being afraid to form relationships deeper than surface level because I was afraid of the inevitable disappointment. I've noticed every time I've tried to work through this I get the urge to distract myself with something. It just seems like this is a very strong survival tactic from my subconscious. Even though I have formed good relationships with people, it still lingers in my mind and makes me do some stupid stuff at times. Whats interesting is part of me would rather be lonely and isolated vs potentially encountering these situations again. And throughout it all my mind will convince me there's nothing really wrong it's just "who I am".

The funny thing about overcoming fears. You really only move past them when all parts of your mind agree there's nothing to be afraid of. Otherwise you can push past the fear and still have a part in disagreement. The key to overcoming fear is not facing the fear itself, but understanding what triggers the fear in the first place and addressing that. Seeing as how I've faced fears for most my life, I feel as if I never really moved past them so much as held them back or delayed them. That's why if I don't remain persistent I can slip up. But that's not how I want to live my life, battling back fear.

Left speaker cut out last night. Was working when I went to sleep. I was wondering if maybe I subconsciously smacked it in the middle of the night. But I went to go test it this morning and it was fine.

So that just made me feel more defeated than usual. Like I should just quit dmsi and do something else because clearly I'm not executing the script.

I'm also getting a little irritated that guys are expected to lead all the time in society. Which makes me wonder if women would have an easier time with DMSI because they have the receiving mentality. Vs some guys who are stuck in the mindset of needing to do everything. That's probably where I'm still at. Of the few girls I've talked to I have to push the interactions, otherwise they never talk to me. I just don't think the type of reality dmsi is trying to cultivate is strong enough in my mind. Just feeling like going full hermit mode right now and to stop trying because it's just stressing me out. Also since starting dmsi I've noticed my need to be attractive to women has grown, likely some insecurity, but it's just annoying because it just feels like me trying to be attractive vs actually being attractive.

So it's my break from DMSI tonight. I woke up this morning feeling really down. Have to clean my place and have no motivation to do it. Thinking about my job and just feeling stuck. Feeling stuck all around. Deep down I'm just incredibly dissatisfied with my whole life. I can't hide it or ignore it anymore. There's a feeling when I sit in stillness that tells me "you're not happy doing any of this". But then the other thoughts come in "What the hell else can I do? I need money, I need to survive."

This morning I even found myself thinking about quitting DMSI and just trying out subliminals from a different company. The thought that maybe a different scripting style would work better for me. Or that someone figured out how to make them better than Shannon.

A lot of unknowns here and that's what bothers me. I don't know if I should go back to A, stay on B, try something else, I don't know. I feel like shit on B, so I feel like I might as well use A to clear up all that stuff that comes up. But is it an escape tactic from my subconscious? I think this is the longest I've been on B.

Shannon if you happen to read this I could use some guidance because I'm kind of lost at the moment. Even if I execute on B, it just feels like I still have some self worth issues and I'd rather fix those than use attention from women as some sort of bandaid for making myself feel better. Which is what I think I've been trying to do. If B can overcome those issues I'll stay on B, but if it can't I'll have to move back to A because my own mental health is more important than being attractive to women.

If anyone wants to advise me on what to do I'd appreciate it. I can't trust my own mind these days unfortunately. The main problem I'm seeing among everyone on this forum is we all seem to be in the same place with regards to figuring out how to execute DMSI.

Man just reflecting on all this. What if I'm so far off the mark? What if everything I thought I've been struggling with is in no way related to what I've been obsessing over? When I was younger I thought everything that was fucked in my life was because of social anxiety. Then I realized I was horribly depressed. Then I thought I was a perfectionist with OCD. I've had so many interweaving complicated issues and I ALWAYS insisted it's just one thing. I'm obsessed with finding a root cause. The one answer that solves it all.

Is it possible for the mind to construct elaborate "problems" as a way to outright avoid something? It just doesn't make any sense. Why would I choose to continue to suffer vs living a life of happiness?

I get personal responsibility, admittedly I fuck that up a lot of the time. I succumb to my problems, dwell on them, internalize them, identify with them. But why? Why do I do this? What is the underlying cause of wanting to do that? Safety? Familiarity? And why the hell am I so powerless to it? More importantly how is it my subconscious is so afraid it would rather entertain the thought of killing myself vs pushing beyond and achieving happiness?

I know this isn't a competition, but sometimes I feel like unraveling that tangled mess of emotional shit, is wholly unnecessary. It's like opening pandoras box and everything flies out. Every issue is a micro-reality, briefly getting sucked into it, altering my identity. I feel like I've lived and died through a whole bunch of lives throughout my brief time on this Earth. Weirdly enough I feel like I pick up fragments of other people throughout my life, their lives, beliefs, views, leak into me.

DMSI is so friggin intense for me because it's challenging my very idea of what reality is. If you're not your issues or problems you've identified with, who they hell are you? If your life has literally been nothing but struggle, upward battle, trying to figure out how to solve the labyrinth that is negative beliefs, there's no framework for anything else. It's like someone pointing out to you that you've been living inside a 12x12 cube, showing you a world beyond that. And I think, but is it that easy? If it is that easy why didn't I do it earlier? Why didn't everyone? Then that starts the question. Why suffering at all? You know in the matrix when Morpheus shows Neo what reality is? Robots harnessing humans for energy. And he's in denial? He spins out and freaks. That's where I'm at. I'm not talking grand conspiracy theories here, but just the structure of "realistic reality". The web that's held together by the collective conscious of people. Life is this or that, things work this way. It's not much different from the Matrix, a lot of us toil away at 9-5s making some head guy richer, taking our energy/time on this planet. It's a shitty reality, I feel like most people are so afraid of breaking out they'd rather live in denial.

I'm going to keep going, I'm sure I've lost people by now but fuck it I was due for a stream of consciousness rant. It's not dmsi, but the tech around it. I feel it. This is more than just "getting better" or "working with what you've got". This is opening up to the possibility that even the reality of spending years working on internal issues is yet another false interpretation of how things work. How many times have you heard to live with your insecurities? Accepting things like depression or anxiety always being there? Needing to accept oneself, to make up for the fact that as humans we're pretty shit at controlling our own minds, so we do these mental gymnastics in the form of self help books, seminars, meditations retreats, in the hopes that we tap into even 5% of our power. Yes love yourself, treat yourself with kindness, but don't settle for less out of fear or because other's have said change isn't possible. We aren't static beings, we don't have a template we must follow until death, we have free will. Growth is not a rejection of self or being inauthentic.

When you see it. The tear in the fabric of reality. The brief glimpse that makes you question this very world we live in. I've had these thoughts for a while now. They've isolated me all my life. I thought I was insane or just couldn't handle "reality" so I designed my own convoluted imagination fueled perspective of how life is something more than what people told me. All new ideas are laughed at, ridiculed. Shannon has mentioned this multiple times. You can't rely on other people to confirm what reality is for you. If you do that, they'll imprison you.

If my ramblings seem like the words of an insane person on a manic trip, I don't care. My goal has always been freedom. Ultimate freedom. Not freedom within some predefined box. I'm talking outside the box, seeing the pieces on the gameboard, seeing the delusions and deception. People control and manipulate, I need to be above that. Not on a mere mental level, but an energetic one too. A track of reality that doesn't derail this metaphorical train of success. Being able to see the problems before they happen and adjust accordingly before you even hit that point. I'm talking next level stuff, having the subconscious be 7 steps ahead. Harnessing a power that NOBODY informs you have growing up in life.

Like I said this is bigger than DMSI, but I feel this is what I've been getting pushed towards after jumping to B. And I had to write it all out because it was just bubbling up inside of me with no outlet. Especially as I've gone about my days surrounded by people that do not share these ideas with me. It's beyond the norm, it's different, and maybe just maybe I fear it so much because this is the biggest leap. This isn't improving confidence, self esteem, etc. this is like being given keys to a Porsche. It's raw power and having never been in any position in my life with that, well it's probably intimidating.

Drank coffee again today. I'm going to stop that soon. I'm becoming more aware of my self sabotage. I feel a hell of a lot better after drinking caffeine, but I know that's because for a brief time I escape from dmsi's influence. I am however going to start taking an l-tyrosine supplement. I feel as if my dopamine levels are low and I've read it's good for add as well. I'm not diagnosed with add, but one of my issues is only being able to focus on stuff I find interesting. It's only really a problem when I have to do work related stuff. Ideally I'll be doing stuff I actually care about in the future, but for the time being it's just one of those things I need otherwise I cause more issues down the road.

Had a bit of insight with DMSI the other night as well. I was at a bar and the bartender was pretty hot. I found myself consciously wanting her to notice me, but at the same time didn't want to go further than that. I realized my subconscious is trying to bargain. What I mean is it wants to be attractive, but it doesn't want to go all the way. It has a line. So it's like I try to execute DMSI in my own "safe" way, but since that's not the actual script nothing happens. Then I think, hey why isn't this working? And I slap myself because I'm not letting it. I imagine I'm giving out really mixed signals because of this. I had this feeling last night that if I locked eyes with this woman we'd share something. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. In general I'm not comfortable doing that. I feel creepy or weird, invasive, or agressive. Nice excuses right? Admittedly I've always sucked with eye contact with people. I get this weird anxiety where it feels like everything is too intense for me.

(08-19-2018, 07:16 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Had a bit of insight with DMSI the other night as well. I was at a bar and the bartender was pretty hot. I found myself consciously wanting her to notice me, but at the same time didn't want to go further than that. I realized my subconscious is trying to bargain. What I mean is it wants to be attractive, but it doesn't want to go all the way. It has a line. So it's like I try to execute DMSI in my own "safe" way, but since that's not the actual script nothing happens. Then I think, hey why isn't this working? And I slap myself because I'm not letting it. I imagine I'm giving out really mixed signals because of this. I had this feeling last night that if I locked eyes with this woman we'd share something. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. In general I'm not comfortable doing that. I feel creepy or weird, invasive, or agressive. Nice excuses right? Admittedly I've always sucked with eye contact with people. I get this weird anxiety where it feels like everything is too intense for me.

I felt ashamed, even alone, for I often persecuted myself when I'd feel that on DMSI. I'd feel a lot more attention on me, and the attraction I (honestly) sought before hadn't been sexual attention. (Correction: Attention, yes. Execution, no.) But DMSI made me much more conscientious of my sexuality, and the messages I was sending. I felt uncomfortable mostly since I had not been in the habit of being really sexually attractive around women, catching looks constantly. I live in south FL (aka "Q-tip country"--lots of retirees), and I remember older ladies giving me this shocked look like "what's in you? I FEEL it!" I played it safe by being a "nice" guy. Well, safe for me anyways. I'm realizing.......sex scared me. I thought it was all about dominance and control, not enjoyment and sharing..............this made sex feel real dirty to me, like I'd be looking to "use" women. And I desired younger women. I'll return to DMSI for healing of this plus execution. I've read some journals of long-term users of DMSI, and I'm encouraged since growth has taken place.

Regarding eye contact, I've dodged eyes most of my life, fearing the intensity too. I did SE 5.5 for a month or so, and my clearest manifestation was with a woman walking past me at a gas station. I'd NEVER locked eyes like that, but it surely happened. Shannon was reading reactions to SE, and I remember him saying "I've GOT to put this in DMSI!" Self esteem enabled me to do this, and DMSI has it now. And it took no effort on my part when it happened.

And finally, I've seen you continue on DMSI, and it's teaching me something. You're uncomfortable, maybe scared sometimes, but you're not bailing. That is not common Mat. Thank you for believing in something you've not seen yet. Thank you for even allowing others to believe in you, when you may not have believed in yourself. This has been my weakness, so thank you for sticking it out as long as you have.

(08-19-2018, 08:37 AM)findingme Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-19-2018, 07:16 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Had a bit of insight with DMSI the other night as well. I was at a bar and the bartender was pretty hot. I found myself consciously wanting her to notice me, but at the same time didn't want to go further than that. I realized my subconscious is trying to bargain. What I mean is it wants to be attractive, but it doesn't want to go all the way. It has a line. So it's like I try to execute DMSI in my own "safe" way, but since that's not the actual script nothing happens. Then I think, hey why isn't this working? And I slap myself because I'm not letting it. I imagine I'm giving out really mixed signals because of this. I had this feeling last night that if I locked eyes with this woman we'd share something. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. In general I'm not comfortable doing that. I feel creepy or weird, invasive, or agressive. Nice excuses right? Admittedly I've always sucked with eye contact with people. I get this weird anxiety where it feels like everything is too intense for me.

I felt ashamed, even alone, for I often persecuted myself when I'd feel that on DMSI. I'd feel a lot more attention on me, and the attraction I (honestly) sought before hadn't been sexual attention. (Correction: Attention, yes. Execution, no.) But DMSI made me much more conscientious of my sexuality, and the messages I was sending. I felt uncomfortable mostly since I had not been in the habit of being really sexually attractive around women, catching looks constantly. I live in south FL (aka "Q-tip country"--lots of retirees), and I remember older ladies giving me this shocked look like "what's in you? I FEEL it!" I played it safe by being a "nice" guy. Well, safe for me anyways. I'm realizing.......sex scared me. I thought it was all about dominance and control, not enjoyment and sharing..............this made sex feel real dirty to me, like I'd be looking to "use" women. And I desired younger women. I'll return to DMSI for healing of this plus execution. I've read some journals of long-term users of DMSI, and I'm encouraged since growth has taken place.

Regarding eye contact, I've dodged eyes most of my life, fearing the intensity too. I did SE 5.5 for a month or so, and my clearest manifestation was with a woman walking past me at a gas station. I'd NEVER locked eyes like that, but it surely happened. Shannon was reading reactions to SE, and I remember him saying "I've GOT to put this in DMSI!" Self esteem enabled me to do this, and DMSI has it now. And it took no effort on my part when it happened.

And finally, I've seen you continue on DMSI, and it's teaching me something. You're uncomfortable, maybe scared sometimes, but you're not bailing. That is not common Mat. Thank you for believing in something you've not seen yet. Thank you for even allowing others to believe in you, when you may not have believed in yourself. This has been my weakness, so thank you for sticking it out as long as you have.

It's good to hear I'm not the only one having this reaction to dmsi. Just goes to show there's definitely a pattern with some of us who have trouble executing. And if there's a pattern we can always break it somehow.

Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad it serves as inspiration for you. I plan to one day overcome all these limitations and show people there's more to life than just surviving. So I've got some additional motivation behind my growth.

Man to think about 3 days ago I was ready to pack it in with DMSI entirely. I got hit with such a profound realization tonight. You know all my life I've felt I could never do what anyone else could. I was always afraid growing up and I never really felt the world was full of opportunities. It just felt like a waking nightmare. When I became an adult I developed a really strong coping mechanism for all this. I detached from my wants and desires. I was under the impression that I had somehow transcended basic needs and wants. But really I was just afraid to go after them. This happened a lot in my dmsi journey. Thinking somehow I didn't want women in my life, it was easier to convince myself of that than own up to the fact I was afraid. I've been afraid to be confident or bold in life, thinking people would just ridicule me and try to tear me down. So I've hid behind this false self acceptance for years and never tried to embrace being more than my limited perspective of myself. I legitimately felt I would be in some kind of danger if I stood out. But I see it for what it is, just a fear. And I won't let a fear stop me from achieving what I want out of life. Other people don't hold me back, I hold myself back.