Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
(05-23-2011, 02:11 PM)The GK Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon,
is it okay to combine BIATBW 7.1 and ASC ?
I've listened to just BIATBW for 40 days now and I 'm not sure wether it has made any changes or not (I'm only listening to the ultrasonic version and maybe the speakers are the problem - it's a bit frustrating). Anyway, now I'm at a stage of my life where I feel like I need to listen to ASC and I don't want to drop BIATW either because the results might be coming soon (?).
I can tell you from personal experience that BIABW takes a
long time to kick in, hell I'm not sure if it EVER kicked in for me. In fact if on the product description page you'll see that it even states that it could take 60-90
DAYS just for obvious results to show up.You've already got 40 days under your belt, so give it another 20 days and if you still don't see anything, consider dropping it or adding in ASC.
(05-23-2011, 02:32 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
I can't speak for subs or what Shannon may suggest to help you, but for me i just realized that your greatest judge is yourself. You want it perfect because you could be judged for it being off, not right, or whatever reason.
In reality people would only comment on what your doing good or bad if they have an opinion of it to help you out or knock you down a peg because of how awesome your work would be. Perfection i would think stems from thinking of not failing. Failing in the since of perfection is a negative trait.
In reality Failing is a great thing it teaches you what not to do and helps you realize that as a human your gonna make mistakes. Just realize good or bad things you do in life will make you a better person. I can't tell you how many times i have said or done stupid things mostly in the past 2 years. this all helped me out more then trying to say and do the right thing and being perfect.
My advice is don't be afraid to say the wrong things, do the wrong things, mess up, or let your ideal image of perfect ruin who you are and what you can do. There is always room for improvement.
(05-23-2011, 02:32 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
Try to get publicly humiliated at least once a day, lol. It'll keep you sharp.
Quote:In reality people would only comment on what your doing good or bad if they have an opinion of it to help you out or knock you down a peg because of how awesome your work would be. Perfection i would think stems from thinking of not failing. Failing in the since of perfection is a negative trait.
I can relate to this the most. Especially when starting a new hobby that I'm not too good at. I think I put too much unnecessary pressure and expectations on myself and when I don't reach perfection I feel like a failure. Then what happens is I fear that feeling of failure so much I never make any progress because I'm too afraid of mistakes and how it makes me feel. There is also an obsessive side to me that wants to get everything right, almost like OCD. I think this is my biggest hurdle that I need to get under control, letting go of the need to have everything "perfect".
Quote:Try to get publicly humiliated at least once a day, lol. It'll keep you sharp.
I'll keep that in mind lol. But my perfectionism is more based upon obsessive like behavior, not necessarily who I am as an individual. I think the best analogy I can give is imagine working on a jigsaw puzzle. Then just walk away from it and don't think about it. With me, if that puzzle isn't solved I get very stressed and overly obsessed with finishing it. It's a hard feeling to explain in words, which is why is so difficult to pinpoint why I actually behave in this manner.
(05-24-2011, 07:10 AM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:In reality people would only comment on what your doing good or bad if they have an opinion of it to help you out or knock you down a peg because of how awesome your work would be. Perfection i would think stems from thinking of not failing. Failing in the since of perfection is a negative trait.
I can relate to this the most. Especially when starting a new hobby that I'm not too good at. I think I put too much unnecessary pressure and expectations on myself and when I don't reach perfection I feel like a failure. Then what happens is I fear that feeling of failure so much I never make any progress because I'm too afraid of mistakes and how it makes me feel. There is also an obsessive side to me that wants to get everything right, almost like OCD. I think this is my biggest hurdle that I need to get under control, letting go of the need to have everything "perfect".
Quote:Try to get publicly humiliated at least once a day, lol. It'll keep you sharp.
I'll keep that in mind lol. But my perfectionism is more based upon obsessive like behavior, not necessarily who I am as an individual. I think the best analogy I can give is imagine working on a jigsaw puzzle. Then just walk away from it and don't think about it. With me, if that puzzle isn't solved I get very stressed and overly obsessed with finishing it. It's a hard feeling to explain in words, which is why is so difficult to pinpoint why I actually behave in this manner.
Although I'm still dabbling around with this, it has come to my attention that my perfectionism rises up (along with many other craptastic symptoms), when my serotonin levels are low. From what I've read is that perfection is basically a fear of rejection, "you're bad (along with anything else that you touch or dare to create) to the core, unless you're able to prove it perfectly otherwise". And when you're trying to prove everything all the time - like you said - you take the fun right out of it. I also have to confess that in most cases I read the stuff I jot down for about 20 or even 30 times, to see what I've missed, but lately the tendency for it has become less, luckily, is really a time-waster
I'm still testing this out, but recommended foods that I've added to my current daily diet are; whey protein (<- very important), banana's and more eggs (there are a whole bunch more, but these suit me the best), and I can feel myself picking up, caring a lot less and feeling more balanced and together, not so guilt-ridden and anxious when I do or say something that is not ok, or whenever I do **** up.
As far as subliminals go, yesterday I stopped using Love and Appreciate Yourself (for about a month), I can definitely notice that it helps on accepting yourself just for who you are, faults and all. But without the diet I will succumb on negative mood swings all the same, so it requires bit of both I believe.
Hope this helps.
Quote:Try to get publicly humiliated at least once a day, lol. It'll keep you sharp.
I don't think that is such a good idea, doing stuff like that too much could have the opposite effect and doesn't really help confidence in the long run.
Though I did used to do some pretty mental stuff. It was fun and I would feel good for a while, but it didn't really build my core confidence as there was alot of negative stuff stopping me.
I found that doing something mental was easier than just being 'normal' you could say, because it wasn't really like I was expressing own self.
Like approaching girls, I could go and say mental and weird stuff but it was way harder to go and be normal and just express interest.
-Ben
(05-22-2011, 06:34 PM)JamesC71 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon,
If I had a few nights where I was only able to listen to stage two of AM2011 for five hours or under should I restart that stage?
No need. Just tack on the extra hours at the end.
(05-23-2011, 02:11 PM)The GK Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon,
is it okay to combine BIATBW 7.1 and ASC ?
I've listened to just BIATBW for 40 days now and I 'm not sure wether it has made any changes or not (I'm only listening to the ultrasonic version and maybe the speakers are the problem - it's a bit frustrating). Anyway, now I'm at a stage of my life where I feel like I need to listen to ASC and I don't want to drop BIATW either because the results might be coming soon (?).
Yes. Those are both Type B. They're fine together.
(05-23-2011, 02:32 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
Depending on the cause of your perfectionism, I can think of:
Absolute Self Confidence
Love And Appreciate Yourself
Zen Attitude
Forgive Yourself And Let It Go
and there's a title for achieving inner tranquility as well.
I'm going to try to come up with something more specific eventually but how to word it is difficult if I want to balance it properly.
(05-24-2011, 07:55 AM)benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:Try to get publicly humiliated at least once a day, lol. It'll keep you sharp.
I don't think that is such a good idea, doing stuff like that too much could have the opposite effect and doesn't really help confidence in the long run.
Though I did used to do some pretty mental stuff. It was fun and I would feel good for a while, but it didn't really build my core confidence as there was alot of negative stuff stopping me.
I found that doing something mental was easier than just being 'normal' you could say, because it wasn't really like I was expressing own self.
Like approaching girls, I could go and say mental and weird stuff but it was way harder to go and be normal and just express interest.
-Ben
I agree. Repeated and intentional public humiliation for someone who is already sensitive to criticism (perfectionists) is a bad idea. Bad programming too.
Well, I guess I did have to harden up a bit, before I started to actually enjoy humiliating myself.
(05-24-2011, 08:54 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-23-2011, 02:32 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
Depending on the cause of your perfectionism, I can think of:
Absolute Self Confidence
Love And Appreciate Yourself
Zen Attitude
Forgive Yourself And Let It Go
and there's a title for achieving inner tranquility as well.
I'm going to try to come up with something more specific eventually but how to word it is difficult if I want to balance it properly.
Thanks I'll check those out. I agree the wording would be difficult. I know you are incredibly busy right now, but I was wondering when you think a script might be made for it. Either I'll wait it out or I'm thinking of buying the inner tranquility subliminal in the mean time. I feel like that one would help me out the most seeing as how perfectionism pretty much kills any sense of inner tranquility.
But of course the cause of my perfectionism is relatively unknown to me, which I'm still trying to understand. But I do know my perfectionism chronically leaks into my personal life and is sometimes the cause of anxiety I have.
(05-24-2011, 06:57 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (05-24-2011, 08:54 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-23-2011, 02:32 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, do you think anything currently being sold in the shop could help with my perfectionism? This is something that has plagued me for a while now. In a way it helps and sometimes it can be crippling to any progress I make in anything I do. I've got so many things I never progress in because I have trouble moving on and letting go. On top of that sometimes it takes the enjoyment out of what I do. When I get stuck in that all or nothing mentality I become too focused on being perfect and not just having fun with it.
I think it's important to push and challenge yourself, but sometimes it really isn't needed. I like to skateboard, just for fun and a hobby. I don't want to be famous or get sponsored, but I still have trouble just letting go and not taking it so serious. Even this post I read over about 20 times making sure it was ok. I just feel like letting go of perfectionism is so hard because if I did that I wouldn't be perfect. That actually doesn't make any sense, but that is the best way I can describe it. It's such an irrational problem and I can't figure it out, which is probably why it bugs me the most. My brain is going to explode trying to figure out why I'm like this.
Depending on the cause of your perfectionism, I can think of:
Absolute Self Confidence
Love And Appreciate Yourself
Zen Attitude
Forgive Yourself And Let It Go
and there's a title for achieving inner tranquility as well.
I'm going to try to come up with something more specific eventually but how to word it is difficult if I want to balance it properly.
Thanks I'll check those out. I agree the wording would be difficult. I know you are incredibly busy right now, but I was wondering when you think a script might be made for it. Either I'll wait it out or I'm thinking of buying the inner tranquility subliminal in the mean time. I feel like that one would help me out the most seeing as how perfectionism pretty much kills any sense of inner tranquility.
But of course the cause of my perfectionism is relatively unknown to me, which I'm still trying to understand. But I do know my perfectionism chronically leaks into my personal life and is sometimes the cause of anxiety I have.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that your perfectionism probably comes from one or more critical family members who told you it was never good enough, or that you were not good enough, or that you couldn't possibly do things "right" when you were younger. Typically, perfectionism is an expression of insecurity about being "good enough", and so one takes it to higher and higher levels of specificity trying to compensate.
My upbringing was like that. Everyone in my family tends to be negative and critical, or at least they were towards me, probably because they didn't respect me. I'm the smallest framed male in my family, even though I'm not the shortest. If you think of Neanderthals being shorter, squatter and more muscular, and Cro Magnon being taller and slenderer and less muscular, it's like I'm the one example of CM and everyone else male in my family comes from a Neanderthal physique.
Since I'm the oldest of my generation in the family, the expectation of me being the strongest wasn't being fulfilled pheromonally, visually, personality wise or physically, and they would constantly criticize and put me down. Even my mother, until one day I pointed it out to her, simply because she had been raised in that sort of environment. The result in me is that I have this constant worry about not being quite good enough, and I always am trying to compensate for it by being better than I am at whatever I do.
The challenge dealing with it is... it can be beneficial. How do I strip away the negative without losing the positive? That I haven't figured out yet.
Oh, but I suggest Zen Attitude. As for when an anti-perfectionsim sub might be released, I don't know.