Subliminal Talk

Thursday 29th March 2018 - (34-1.3A)
Time: 1.25pm
Not Listened to loop yet.

Went to the hospital for bandage change and wound clean and today they said its all healed and no need to have any more bandages

Whilst sat waiting for taxi, I saw a hot girl but didnt get anything from her. She seemed in her own distraught thoughts (it is a hospital afterall).

I then saw another girl in my view on the phone, sat with family. Our eyes met, I looked away as did she, but then I caught her twice looking at me. She then got up to walk closer to me whilst on the phone. I was at first so excited incase this was an IOI, but im sure it was only her walking towards the entrance to get a better signal on her phone, as he didnt seem to be looking at me, and at times was hidden behind a pillar inbetween us too.

I noticed today that I didnt have any anxiety of going outside. Usually whenever I go outside of my apartment, there is some form of anxiety inside me. I didnt feel it today. It is too premature for me to know if this is the case until i get this for days and weeks but its being noted because I noticed it and had wondered about it for the past couple of days. I havent been out at all except twice a week to the hospital via taxis.

I still feel insecure about my looks, weight etc Even today as I saw both girls inside there was a sudden thought of me doubting they would want me based on how I now look. When I was younger, I was slimmer, with hair and didnt realise just how valuable my image is/was. I took it for granted. Now I realise that no matter what, the world really is superficial and all things are based on looks and image. I remember growing up hating female attention because I didnt like the fact that girls (any girls that liked me that is) only liked me cos I looked nice even though I LOVED the fact that I looked nice to myself. I also didnt ever get attention from those girls I found hot, but when girls liked me it wasnt a chase and I didnt appreciate it as much or find them a turn off.

Addendum: I remember now that when I hit puberty I became very insecure about my face, my nose and how big it was even and how my face looked, even though others would tell me it was in my head, I was sure that it wasnt.

Im realising this today and just letting the thoughts flow out as I type, but hope that in time DMSI heals and clears me of all this false negative beliefs and installs in me more positive energy and vibes.

thanks - will listen to loop tonight and update as needed.

ps: Girls:

I may as well share some further news.

Fight Girl
Shes becomes a friend now, we have started talking again and im unsure if she likes me as more than a friend or not. Either way she isnt my type but we get on 1000% it seems. Shes a religious girl, a virgin I imagine so trying to get anywhere with her will be impossible.

Fight Girls friend
A mutual friend, totally not attractive or my type at all however has invited me for the first time ever to her apartment and asked I come and that fight girl will be there, and snapchat girl (remember her lol) and a mutual male friend of mine.

I am unsure why she and fightgirl have been eagerly pushing me to attend. Theyre gnna cook and we will watch a movie. Funny thing is, I used my bandages/burns as an excuse that I may not be able to attend and they have been on my case to attend.

I do wonder, because I know they are planning to move in to an apartment directly 1 floor down, and thus as they now simply trying to be my friends to make this pleasant for them?


Pots Girl
I have to call this girl pots girl, as she borrowed some of my pots and pans before xmas to cook for a surprise birthday party for her bf. I attended. I do like this girl alot, shes not a 10 but shes attractive to me and shes got an awesome personality I think. Anyway she and my friend, birthday boy we'll call him have broke up and apparently they broke up months before his birthday but kept it a secret.

So hes wanting to come over to mine and share with me what happened soon as I asked him a week ago if theyre still dating and he admitted they werent but werent telling alot of people and he'll explain her reasons for dumping him. I can tell even though he looks alpha at times he seemed more into her than she was and thus was more beta but this is my uneducated guess.

So anyway I somehow managed to get her to talk to me on the phone for the first time.

I casually planned for her to talk to me to explain my burns and what happened. She had to later on cancel on me due to plans but the point is she was the one to contact me. I didnt make the phone call a big deal yet she felt the need to explain as if it was a sure thing that we would talk. This happened twice. She went out of her way to do this. I could argue that shes just a super polite girl and felt it was decent to do this even though I hadnt necessarily said we would Definitely talk, I merely suggested we could.

Anyway we spoke, I made her laugh and giggle alot. I though know from experience that I end up making girls my friends now rather than lovers and 80% sure the vibe of the chat were of 2 friends rather than anything else which is a shame.

I hope DMSI will fix this too.

thanks

Addendum:

Pornchat Girl:
Totally disappeared from the site. her account is closed. however this has happened before so im sure she will return but clearly what I thought was an awesome first and second chat to her wasnt the case and thus TID wasnt in play.

Looking back even at how snapchat girl was seeing me as a friend but I was looking into all the sudden attention from her as interest/IOIS shows me 2 things:

1) TID never worked for me thus its early days for me and DMSI

2) I cannot tell at all if a girl is simply being friendly or if shes interested in me

From some of the things you're saying, anxiety and insecurity you may want to consider Version A since it's more gentle and for the healing. That's just the feeling I get from it, but in the end it's up to you.

(03-29-2018, 04:17 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]From some of the things you're saying, anxiety and insecurity you may want to consider Version A since it's more gentle and for the healing. That's just the feeling I get from it, but in the end it's up to you.

I think he's listening to "A". Do remember him saying that he's downloading "A" or maybe it was just a dream xD

(03-29-2018, 10:47 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-29-2018, 04:17 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]From some of the things you're saying, anxiety and insecurity you may want to consider Version A since it's more gentle and for the healing. That's just the feeling I get from it, but in the end it's up to you.

I think he's listening to "A". Do remember him saying that he's downloading "A" or maybe it was just a dream xD

Haha not a dream Zane, its in my journal and my signature too for all to see, im now on day 4 of DMSI-3.2 Track A

Thanks guys.

Friday 30th March 2018 - (35-1.4A)
Time: 6.29pm
Listening to loop as I type this update.

AMMEDNUM: Loop finished (6.49pm) - no tiredness nothing. Dont even feel as if ive listened to the loop lol. Is this what all of you on A are feeling too?

I slept early yesterday at 10pm (had no caffeine) due to being tired all day from waking super early.
I woke at 2am. I woke from a dream.
The dream had nothing to do with girls, and cant remember it now but it was to do with my family and investments :/

I remembered this dream but immediately fear entered my mind and I went into OVERDRIVE whilst awake imagining a truly scary scenario. Its hard to explain, but I woke, recalled I had a dream and what it was and then whilst awake and waking in the dark and on my phone (I surf, dont we all when we wake lol) and suddenly the scariest thought/movie entered my mind and took a while to kick out.

AMMENDUM: the scenario was not to do with investments or family, but this scary scenario was to do with my IMMEDIATE safety at that time of the night.

It was a scenario of something scary people, and it was in my head and I couldnt shake it (though it was a fantasy) but it freaked me out for around 5mins that it played in my head. Felt like 5 good solid minutes anyway. I dont want to go into any details though.

Anyway then I was awake on my phone or the bathroom or both lol until around 5am when I fell back to sleep and woke at 7.15am to get to uni for 8am. No further dreams were remembered.

I do feel I think less anxiety. I am not sure if this is DMSI or if its due to not being around the 2 stupid scar bitches too or simply not being in uni for a week.

Regarding super bitches, my friend came over "yesterday" and basically told me in a silly scary backward fucked up way that theyre asking about me he found out which is fucked up since I had cleared it with 1 that I was gnna move to another group with this said friend and the other teacher I avoided but went to the head of the department (or atleast she was the head) and she said she will sort it and I can move.

My friend anyway discussed it with me and I came up with a smart plan once again to deal with this situation next week. He left and I was left anxious. Not heavily but yeah a little and I think maybe DMSI has reduced my anxiety.

Again I cannot be sure and I seem to not be great at observing my own negative feelings inside, but in time we shall see.

Back to today so thats been about it really. I went to the hospital to get a letter to say I had missed uni for the burns I had incase super bitch and bitch need some proof however it was a wasted journey and a costly journey since the doctor wasnt in, and would be in at 7pm late shift - so fuck that im going to see him on monday and no idea if hes in or not so will have to chance it. The point of this story is that I was a little annoyed. I wasnt alot though just mildly annoyed but im usually a positive guy anyway so this with DMSI may have reduced my anger perhaps.


Now I cant remember and cba to check, if I mentioned yesterday that I have been invited to a meal tomorrow with this said friend to the home of a good friend (yes I didnt mention cos I said I dont fancy her) and her and out mutual friend - the fight girl - will be there. Snapchat girl will also be there. Pots girl however is also going hahah so she will be there as will her now ex-bf who's also my friend and 2 other girls both of whom arent in my social circle but are amicable to me. So from a small party its become a larger party which I do prefer as I was worried I may get bored or be unable to carry the party along. Cant always be in a party mood but I do end up being sociable when amongst people.

So if DMSI can aura the fuck out of these girls and this whole group then awesome!! - wishful thinking I know since all im noticing so far for sure is no fapping cos hey im not fapping hahah but beyond that nothing else is concretely observable.

I am not watching porn, but I am still going to porn site to see if pornchat girl had come online yet and to simply favourite/bookmark porn to my porn account to watch later - which since im not watching porn or fapping isnt happening.

My desire to fap has reduced alot and my desire to watch porn has reduced or gone. I will be downloading shed load of porn that ive got trrnt files for but again this is for the future where I would love to be married and share my porn with the love of my life but hey thats just a fantasy for now.

Anyway 35days of no fap.

I also have become super conscious of my hair loss because it seems more hair has been lost. I have therefore been basically commanded by mum to stop the onion juice plan, as this may have exasperated the loss. I will however now have to turn to another option which is apply a combo of hair oil and massage and do a 5min scalp brush daily, twice a day ideally if I can. This is 1 reason im listening early to the loop and updating my journal, so that I can then go apply the oil combo. - will it work, we shall see.

Nothing else to report. Procrastination is the same at the moment. I have to re-focus on my goals as stated in earlier posts.

thanks

I know my thoughts might be unwelcomed here, lol. But isn't that still an excuse to not let go of porn? You're still seeking that porn chick and you're still torrenting porn. You could always look for porn later on when you marry your future wife, but right now your actions still seem unconscious, that you're still struggling to let go of porn.

(03-30-2018, 07:56 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: [ -> ]I know my thoughts might be unwelcomed here, lol. But isn't that still an excuse to not let go of porn? You're still seeking that porn chick and you're still torrenting porn. You could always look for porn later on when you marry your future wife, but right now your actions still seem unconscious, that you're still struggling to let go of porn.

You know, youre wrong in that case lol no-ones thoughts have ever been unwelcomed here, this is Jake2015's post not someone else's but I wont have any advertising or spam of cos haha

Thank you for reading my post bro and no no i see it like this. I didnt stop fap intentionally. I dont even have an issue with fapping or with porn. Not consciously anyway or rather not at the time im enjoying either or both.

I also didnt actually realise no fapping to be in DMSI, before I started DMSI tbh, but even if I did it wasnt such a big deal for me. I actually didnt realise fapping was a big issue within DMSI itself.

I have since stopping my fapping googled more about the benefits in the hope that these will be my benefits too which is great.

The fact that im not fapping isnt because I have tried to stop or have wanted to stop. i have had zero thoughts on it tbh, my issues have not been around or about porn that im aware of.

The fact that ive now stopped fapping and feel a decrease in desire to fap shows me that its DMSI that has executed and I followed through. Thats how im aware that im not stonewalling and also how I will know that porn and other things are being executed.

I am not fapping so great, and I have no desire to watch porn but that in my mind is different to me saving it for the future. I may not want to eat chocolate right now but im more than happy to save up for when I do want to eat chocolate whether that be as a treat, or with a partner or dare I say it from a partner.

So no the fact that im not watching porn for this long to me is indicating that perhaps this element has or will be executed...time will tell. For now though my focus isnt porn but its if that pornchat girl comes on however she isnt the focal point of my day, I simply have a habit.

Ah let me put it this way. I have had the habit of fapping. I would do it automatic at certain times. According to psychology, you could argue that there is a cue and thus I due to the cue automatically play out the habit. So in my cases it could be not being able to sleep, or perhaps no class, so waking late and enjoying some self loving before I got up and got on with my day.

This habit has stopped!! and I never once tried to stop it or even cared to stop it as it wasnt a big thing in my life, I did it once a day or once every other day or sometimes once every 3 days, and then there were times I may choke the monkey multiple times but thats rare. Why is it this way could be many health and age related factors I feel.

Edit: I have tried to stop fapping in the past actually, but after a few days or month I would get back onto it. My record was 6months due to oneitis to a girl (long story).

I also now have a habit of visiting certain websites pretty much in some order which isnt always followed. 5 websites, that I visit. 1 of them is this forum. I visit daily.

I have noticed my desire to go to pornchat/porn site has reduced. My desire to go on another similar site has also reduced. It hasnt gone but my desire to go and stay on these sites is basically from initially 30mins or 1hour to say now 5mins or 10mins. Sometimes its a quick jump in and jump out. if it wasnt for the mail options, i wouldnt hang around much either.

I havent noted it in my journal because it hasnt been obvious and I want to see if its me trying to make DMSI execute like a placebo or if its DMSI.

I havent stopped coming here and most of my time is actually spent here and that is because for me writing the journals allows me to note my findings/observations, keep a note of the primary ASRB, how many days left till I have a break etc and also a way to see if Shannon has said anything that could be of benefit to me as well as for me to pass it to anyone else if I can help.

The only other site in competition in terms of time would be the swinger dating site. Sure there are nude pics and topless pics of real people and by this I mean singles and couples, but I simply look to see who seems to my preference to send a generic intro message. Its more of a habit than anything else, same as fap but fap so far as gone.

If I consciously stopped doing this thinking right this is what im aware is in DMSI and I should stop it cos DMSI has it to stop me then I wont :

a) know whats been executed or not

b) know whether anything else was DMSI or not. I love the fact that im not fully aware of all that in DMSI and so I write my journals also in the hope that shannon may read and then to himself go in an evil maniacal laughter... "muhahahah that has been executed, well done Jake its working..." lol

this is getting long lol but im just letting my thoughts speak and thats how I see it.

For example, there have been times I have tried to stop a habit and have been unable to...many times actually. Or when I have stopped due to willpower, eventually some stress or turmoil brings me back to fucking it up....a prime example is fapping or my sleep cycle or my diet in terms of reducing sugar or not having sugar at all to now lets have that chocolate bar etc.

Will power is spent and is finite.

Another example that springs to mind is my self esteem. I have gone out and walked tall and strong only to then forget doing it a day or so later. I have perhaps today stopped thinking about my hair loss cos my hair is trimmed/groomed and short so it looks better, but when its longer and dishevelled I become fixated on the obvious clear thinning area which is what has been happening past few days as revealed in my journals.

DMSI will thus work for me I believe in the same way it has for fap, when no willpower is needed and it simply works and I simply stop doing what it is that is being executed and voila done.

I also have been a member of this porn site for around 8years I think. I go on there now simply to see if that pornchat girl gets back, simply because yes she ticks many boxes for me otherwise I would go on and off quicker simply due to habit.

If DMSI has a no porn element, perhaps the easier things to work on are those things that are least important to me, those things I have least issues with and least hang ups about such as fapping but other things I hold more dearly perhaps will take longer. I dont know but all im saying is that this is how I believe it is.

I value your feedback as I do everyones and nothing above was to sound offensive or condescending etc Im just throw that out because I dont take ANYTHING here to heart at all its online for peets sake besides I chuckle if someone gets heated up on here, we shouldnt let anything get us down on here, we can simply log out and log back, its the real world where I get challenged though, alas dont we all.

ammendum: Just forgot to mention also that this is why MLS 5.5G or E2 and even IYGSH 4G confused me or rather how others here confused me. Shannon and others would constantly remind me that these are merely tools and I would have to take responsibility and use them. I didnt get that because I havent tried to stop fapping. My subconscious is (hopefully) executing DMSI, and this has caused me to somehow, (perhaps reduced desire to fap) stop fapping, but I havent done anything.

In this same manner, procrastination is fear based, I cannot simply push through. I have done 1 time here and 1 time there, yet the fear either overpowers me or totally stops me, thus until this is cleared and healed all I can do is keep on trying which is what ive done throughout my scholastic/academic history.

My understanding of subliminals is that they will effect the subconscious so that its easier or rather more comfortable to natural do or dont do whatever is being asked. This is how I believe it has happened for fapping for me so far and thus assures me that my understanding is for me somewhat clear.

ive no idea why im spending so much time typing, but im waiting for fightgirl and mutual friend girl to come over as they want to come over to borrow my pots for whatever theyre cooking for us all tomorrow....so I seem to be passing or killing time here but ill stop now haha

Shannon wrote this and its here as a reminder to me and for others... (but awesome that in time I can execute more!!!!)

(03-30-2018, 08:46 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-27-2018, 08:09 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon,

Thanks for bringing out DMSI-A and for your hard work!!

1) I have stopped stonewalling as you know, so does this mean that all subs after 3.2 will be executed by me, or is there still a chance of stonewalling to occur?

If you have stopped stonewalling, the script from here on out should be good.

Quote:2) I seem to so far just not fap, so im executing but not on all things. Is there chance now I can execute more of 3.2, or will I have to wait now for 3.3?

Of course there is a chance for you to execute more of 3.2.

Quote:3) Anything in 3.2 to stop one from living an online life, and get more outside to meet real women?

Yes.

(03-30-2018, 07:56 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: [ -> ]I know my thoughts might be unwelcomed here, lol. But isn't that still an excuse to not let go of porn? You're still seeking that porn chick and you're still torrenting porn. You could always look for porn later on when you marry your future wife, but right now your actions still seem unconscious, that you're still struggling to let go of porn.

Why is it ok to watch porn when you have a wife? If you're watching porn when you're married then you've done it all wrong.

(03-30-2018, 10:07 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-30-2018, 07:56 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: [ -> ]I know my thoughts might be unwelcomed here, lol. But isn't that still an excuse to not let go of porn? You're still seeking that porn chick and you're still torrenting porn. You could always look for porn later on when you marry your future wife, but right now your actions still seem unconscious, that you're still struggling to let go of porn.

Why is it ok to watch porn when you have a wife? If you're watching porn when you're married then you've done it all wrong.

lol determined, you will have to read my journal to understand the context of Wolverine meant. It made sense to me. Im not married btw incase anyone thinks this now too lol

(03-30-2018, 10:15 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-30-2018, 10:07 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-30-2018, 07:56 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: [ -> ]I know my thoughts might be unwelcomed here, lol. But isn't that still an excuse to not let go of porn? You're still seeking that porn chick and you're still torrenting porn. You could always look for porn later on when you marry your future wife, but right now your actions still seem unconscious, that you're still struggling to let go of porn.

Why is it ok to watch porn when you have a wife? If you're watching porn when you're married then you've done it all wrong.

lol determined, you will have to read my journal to understand the context of Wolverine meant. It made sense to me. Im not married btw incase anyone thinks this now too lol

Exactly. I don't agree to porn at all. But I'm saying if he wants to do it later on with his wife, then he should leave it for later on, not worry about hoarding porn now.

It's just a phase.. That's all it is.

(03-29-2018, 10:47 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-29-2018, 04:17 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]From some of the things you're saying, anxiety and insecurity you may want to consider Version A since it's more gentle and for the healing. That's just the feeling I get from it, but in the end it's up to you.

I think he's listening to "A". Do remember him saying that he's downloading "A" or maybe it was just a dream xD

Haha ok cool. I thought I remembered something about him saying he would stay on B, but that was probably someone else.

No you have to remember "Don't watch porn with your wife, BE porn with your wife".