Howdy Jake. You had asked for my input, here it goes:
Quote:I guess looking back I could see that I was making all the effort or most of it. She did at one point come and sit by my feet/legs on the floor and chatted to me but I cant read into that.
I cant say for sure that I noticed any IOI or any attempts to be within my sphere/personal space etc.
The part I bolded out- Major IOI. She's at your feet man. In your space. Signals don't much stronger than that. "Private Jokes?" Do any of these involve any kind of kino, such as poking? If so, escalate (Kino Escalation).
So, after finally reading everything about you and PotsGirl (Since you told me this was the one you're interested most in), here's my take on it:
You guys are texting way too much. You're feeding into her frame and doubleing down any time she reciprocates attention, which is bad because it makes her bored. Women like to chase- The point of DMSI is to make women chase you. You have to be the one who is in high demand. I'll get more into that in a moment-
But that being said, I have this to say:
The fact she is replying to you- When she replies, if she makes an effort to reply back to you, it
does mean she is interested in seeing you again.
The point of texting isn't to have these prolonged two+ hour conversations. You want to reserve those kind of things for when you two are interacting in person, to open up romantic possibilities. Sex first, relationship later.
You're acting like you're in a relationship with this woman despite never even having had sex with her.
So here are my tips for you:
Reduce the frequency you are texting women, first and foremost, and never be the one to send the last text (Aka, the “Good Night!”) The ratio should always be somewhere around 3:2 or 3:1 or more (Woman texting you:Man texting back). As
a man who is in high demand, you should not be texting her immediately after she sends you a message. Sometimes you need to bite the bullet and urge to reply quickly back, and wait a couple of hours so her hamster can build more intrigue.
This is what I call “
Text Baking.” Depending on how hot you think the girl is, you let the text message bake anywhere between an hour or two, to 24 hours. Whenever a text message is received, it hits the dopamine receptors.
You know that feeling of slight excitement or ‘relief’ when you get a text message or a ‘ping!’ and you think, ooh, it’s her? Yeah, that’s the kind of excitement you want to create within her. If you’re constantly messaging and messaging and messaging her, you build up a fatigue to that, hence why she appeared to be initially interested, but is now becoming increasingly unresponsive or (by your perception) less receptive to doing things with you. You want to hit her dopamine receptors.
Now, back to what I was saying earlier- As long as she continues to at
least text you back, that means the interest is still there. So- How do we capitalize on this?
Truth be told, this is a
MASSIVE topic that I am currently, coincidentally enough, preparing a presentation and discussion for, but I will not disclose the details on that here. That being said, here are the crucial goals you need to know when it comes to texting:
One of the goals is to incite emotion. There are several different types of emotions- For example, two of them are humor and surprise/shock. I.E – The text you sent, is it making her laugh? Is it adding value to her life? Good. Was she receptive to it? Great! Now respond in a manner that relates back to something she mentioned earlier or something you discussed prior, and frame it to set logistics, which brings me to the second, and PRIMARY goal, for texting:
Set logistics. – Set a date, time, and place to meet up with her so you can get her into your frame. Try to keep the questions and question marks to a minimum when setting logistics. Take charge. Make statements. A man who takes charge is very attractive to a woman. The longer you put this off, the more and more you’re playing into her frame, risking getting friendzoned or ghosted.
Now here’s the bad news: You’re already completely enveloped in her frame. I can tell just based off of the journal entries I’ve been reading. When she’s on the forefront of your mind, and you’re looking to your phone to see if she replied back to you, that means you are completely in her frame. You need to make an adjustment and pivot. You need to get her invested in you, and the only way you can do that is to be the one she reaches out to more and texts more, versus you.
Now, that all being said, sure, there will be a point where you can do what I call
“Rapid Rapport” as a high demand man- This is where you’re, for example, having a cigarette on the bench outside on your break from work reading some article online on your phone, and you notice you got a text back from her. You can do a text back and forth exchange, and this lasts for about maybe say, eh, 15-20 minutes, to provide an example. This is the window where you can bant a little, setting logistics hopefully, and then you have a period where you don’t reply to her messages at all for two hours or more (Because you’re busy and don’t have time). Don't be like, BRB or whatever either, just disappear. Make her think about it or wonder. Be mysterious- And when you DO get back to her, don't explain yourself or anything like that; just resume the conversation as if nothing happened.
Alright- Whew. Now, let me recap-
Stop having these super long dumb ass whatsapp/text conversations with women. You’re not doing yourself any favors. The more things you say, the more reasons you are giving her to not see you or fuck you. Don’t just randomly text her saying “Yo” or “Sup” or “Hello” either. None of these one-liners. For your homework, don’t even say things like, “Hey How’s it going?” as your text message…Attempt to make every message you send add value of some kind to her emotion- BUT…Be careful not to fall into the trap and mistake many men make of ‘doubling-down’ on that emotion. In other words, if you send her something funny, and she laughs from it, don’t continue just sending her continuously sending funny shit to press the same exact button; it’s like a dance. If you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, you’re going to be known as ‘that funny guy’ and build fatigue.
You don’t want to build fatigue. You want her to get a hit of dopamine when she receives a message from you. You need to turn a text message from you into a special event for her. You want her thinking about you. She’s no doubt talking to other guys- You want her to look at her phone, see a text message from another guy, and wish it was one actually from you. You never want her response to be
”oh it’s THAT guy again.”
So again:
Text less frequently – You’re in high demand and having an awesome life.
Text to incite emotions – You need to be adding value to her life.
Text to set up logistics – You need to get her out to date you and eventually fuck you.
Does that make sense? Alright. Now that I have the text messaging stuff out of the way, onto some pro-tips on building sexual tension:
Never overtly communicate sexual interest. That turns women off and turns them away. It is best to covertly communicate this via kino escalation. Make jokes out of things that are sexual innuendos, things like that. Women prefer to go out on the pretense that you’re hanging out to have fun; and then
‘whoops we just happened to kiss’ or
‘whoops you know things just kind of happened and now we’re having sex. This is called plausible deniability. Once you've banged a few times or established a sexual relationship, then it becomes safe where you can more overtly communicate whatever intentions.
When she was at your feet, I probably would have patted her head to have her look up to me and be tongue-in-cheek saying,
Hey, I kind of like this view.
And then, watch and observe as the magic unfolds from there.
I think one of the big problems DMSI is running into so far is that it's working for people, but they're ignorant or unaware of the signals being thrown their way and unable/unfamiliar on how to actually act on them.
