Day 10 - Update 2
Shannon has replied to my questions and ill post them here for myself and you all to read.
Im very much more excited now because seems that I am finally NOT stonewalling
(03-05-2018, 07:09 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (03-03-2018, 11:54 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon
Ive realised for definite that when I listen to DMSI-B with headphones then i get relaxed/sleepy. What does this indicate please? Hope its not stonewalling.
It most likely indicates that the program is being executed much more efficiently and you are having a much harder time resisting, as well as being affected by the execution needing more energy, and probably the state shifting too.
This would be because of the perfect stereo separation.
and another
(03-05-2018, 07:15 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (03-04-2018, 04:32 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, its been only 7 days I know but wondering if you've gathered anything from my journal that can assist with the creation of track A or 3.3 onwards?
As a stonewaller im hoping all my information is helpful and so far what seems to be kicking in for me that I can notice is no fapping and reduction in porn.
This seems to be for many others too is this what you expected?
I've been having a hard time keeping up with the forum and getting work done lately.
If you are getting any effect at all, you're not stonewalling anymore, and that - while it may not seem to be much - is actually a huge step up and in the right direction. So not what I was hoping for, but not what I was trying to avoid either. We are definitely making progress. One step at a time. We will get there.
(03-05-2018, 05:46 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Which makes me think that some getting success from DMSI are handsome attractive guys such as the member roaring lion so since I know im not at all attractive to the opposite sex, due to being overweight, an older mature student at uni and hair loss....then im eager to see how DMSI fixes me up or works for me.
In my opinion i'm not that handsome, but some people say I am, I hear it more often in China because i'm in one of the smaller cities with less foreigners. Even though i said i did a photoshoot, it doesn't mean i'm handsome, some photographer i know wanted a foreign face to promote his photography service, so he got me to do a photoshoot with a beautiful Chinese girl.
For me the real great test for DMSI is if it can get me to be able to get the really beautiful girls into bed, especially against their traditional chinese values, in my city many girls just want to get married and have kids and they know they will lose value to Chinese men if they find out they've fucked alot of others before them.
(03-05-2018, 09:42 AM)RoaringLion Wrote: [ -> ] (03-05-2018, 05:46 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Which makes me think that some getting success from DMSI are handsome attractive guys such as the member roaring lion so since I know im not at all attractive to the opposite sex, due to being overweight, an older mature student at uni and hair loss....then im eager to see how DMSI fixes me up or works for me.
In my opinion i'm not that handsome, but some people say I am, I hear it more often in China because i'm in one of the smaller cities with less foreigners. Even though i said i did a photoshoot, it doesn't mean i'm handsome, some photographer i know wanted a foreign face to promote his photography service, so he got me to do a photoshoot with a beautiful Chinese girl.
For me the real great test for DMSI is if it can get me to be able to get the really beautiful girls into bed, especially against their traditional chinese values, in my city many girls just want to get married and have kids and they know they will lose value to Chinese men if they find out they've ***** alot of others before them.
Thanks for this and I guess they see you as handsome so thats what matters more than if you do but yeah DMSI for me is overall will be if women approach and initiate to me too - thats the ultimate goal lol
Day 10 - update 3 - Monday 5th March 2018
Time 1.08am
Listened to the loop for day 10, and nothing new to report.
Was good, had no caffeine until I finished listening to the loop, after which I made some more toast and had a can 300ml of coca cola - so its better than usual. Ive been having water otherwise today so a major jump forward for me.
Nothing new to report, no fapping still however but otherwise no change in anything else.
I am waiting for pornchat girl to get on and reply but she hasnt, and this level of oneitis in me is not good, so is it DMSI or me?
Procrastination and its relationship to stress.
So I know I procrastinate when it comes to study but I was building momentum.
I know DMSI hasnt been the cause of my procrastination and as yet it hasnt been any form of noticeable cure for it either.
However I have analysed what has happened this time and its all due to 1 teacher at uni and her causing alot of fear and stress inside me.
This was then multiplied further by the sheer effort and time it took to study a complicated subject (her subject) from a boring and complicated textbook.
I consciously know that the books are bad and there other textbook by another author that I have is better yet the sheer fear and effort together caused me to not only screw up my sleep, but also to drag on for over 7 days.
I want to make a note of this here incase:
1) Shannon finds any value from this post
2) Incase DMSI helps to change this.
So what I can say is even though I no longer am in this teachers class (on friday I had to negotiate with the head of the department to move to another group), the stress is still inside me.
Rather than study or do anything academic, ive listerally been eating, listening to DMSI, chatting to friends or watching movies/tv shows and sleeping.
My subconscious is far stronger than my rational conscious mind and I cant seem to get past it :/
Dude, Issues like these takes time to solve. Its not gonna go away in like 30 days. It can sometimes take 1 year or more to solve it.
I used to be like really smart and my memory was like very sharp. But certain life events and people fucked me up real good. For years I tried to blame them. But in the End it didn't solve anything.
But I do know that I am gonna get out of this. Cause I have been making progress along the way. So are u.
(03-05-2018, 03:53 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Dude, Issues like these takes time to solve. Its not gonna go away in like 30 days. It can sometimes take 1 year or more to solve it.
I used to be like really smart and my memory was like very sharp. But certain life events and people ***** me up real good. For years I tried to blame them. But in the End it didn't solve anything.
But I do know that I am gonna get out of this. Cause I have been making progress along the way. So are u.
thank you man, appreciate it and yeah youre right just wish I didnt have to wait years and years before its sorted lol
Just keep taking small steps buddy. U will be there.
(03-05-2018, 04:42 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Just keep taking small steps buddy. U will be there.
thanks alot bro!
Day 11 - Update - tuesday 6th March - 2.14pm
Ive woken, felt ok. Brushed my teeth, will eat after this and then get going with my day. Have 1 class but need to go to the bank first too.
All weekend ive realised that ive been feeling unmotivated and somewhat confused and stressed.
All this is in my post but to put it all together id say I have been feeling dejected, unmotivated, uninspired and generally lost and fed up.
Not sure if this is DMSI but putting it here.
What I have done is the bare essentials, that I knew I HAD to, such as laundry, eat, shower and also chat to the pornchat girl.
I believe my oneitis stems from her seemingly ticking all my boxes that I would want in a sexual partner. I havent a clue how she looks but her sexual experiences are what I would actually seek from a life partner and thus I have been hoping to chat to her again. It also helped that we actually chatted well and got along.
However a good friend here has reminded me to prioritise on whats important which isnt her and I need to keep reminding myself this so I plan to avoid that site and thus the girl for 24hrs so that I can simply focus on myself.
She has come online at 6am my time, not replied but read my messages. So im not going to chase her now which is what I know I have been doing.
Beyond that the only thing to add is that lastnight due to all the mixed emotions I felt this weekend, I didnt want to sleep and I felt I didnt even want to go to uni. I slept at around 3am and woke 9hrs later which is about right for me.
I hope today and this week goes alot better for me.
Time for breakfast/brunch now.
Day 11 - Update 2 - Tue 6th March 2018
Time: 10.44pm
Listening to todays loop
Nothing to report except that snapchat girl got in touch about 1 of my snaps (a cooking photo) and she said she needs to send her bf over to me to learn.
So that was a no go. No news from pornchat girl.
Went to the bank, surrounded by women workers but nothing there to report either.
Only thing to report is still no fapping therefore 11 days of no fap at least.
Have had the urge but im just not doing it.
Day 14 is soon and then I will have a 1 day break and restart. Im hoping that no fap is not the end but the beginning.
Extra thoughts:
Im wondering whether to do 2 loops since my progress seems to be very slow.
Day 12 - Update - Wednesday 7th March 2018
Time: 7.49am
Going to uni for 8am, but came on as have some time.
Had an incestual dream 2 nights ago. I forgot to mention it and then when I remembered wondered if it was relevant. So im mentioning it here now as well as asking Shannon what he thinks it means.
Fapping is still a no but I still visit a porn site as a habit, because of the pornchat girl and also before her I always went on to save videos to my account that I thought looked cool to watch later.
So I still go on, simply like save to my account any that look good even though Im not watching them.
Nothing else to report that is noticeable or out of the ordinary.
Will listen to loop later this evening.
Having a dream of incestuous practices means erotic desires means that you are trying to express yourself. ... You probably are in a phase of your life in which you are neither child, nor adult, and this dream may be the symbolic union between the adult and the child in you.--Mr Google