Subliminal Talk

A is leaving me terrified, in panic and bordering edge-confused. Its like visiting a huge place of terror, trauma and shitton of euphoria flipping with terrifying idk what. Its total war. My body looks sexy. Socializing goes well. Things are tackled down yet IOIs seem to be less now. Im missing AM6 yet will run A still. This might be exactly the situations of pulling through vs bitching out and running away. A makes me at times almost feeling like losing my mimd. Facing a shitton of stuff including resentment towards my mom, which is killing me. Its making me legit want to break down in tears as to why I feel like that yet its staring me in my face. Honestly, crying is good now and tears well up already.

A is beyond intense right now. Im almist begging for a monstrous amount of emotional release.

To update this for a bit, meltdown almost public. Strong overload, listening and non listening and highly intense rollercoastering. Depersonalisation aswell as alienation, as feeling shit and out of control, foggy, questioning reality and the whole thing, lost in my head, dreamy outlook like a lucid dream blended with all kind of shit. Also did almost throw up.

Im more mature and solid now after this rapture and release.

Aura + choking = win

Also, I wonder if DMSI shoots anti snipers to situations and cause apathy. Like, clearly putting me on a one track. Akin to instinct and having a intense yes while other situations are feeling to be "avoided" or anything. A benefiting/non benefitting dynamic, cutting out all crap, people, activities, situations, locations. Almost like a reward non reward system. If so this gonna be interesting yet the taste is already there. Go figure, im beyond anything at this point. Whatevet I envisioned is mine. This is inevitable, beyond excitement. I sheerly know and move on.

"Today was a good day" thriving.

"Can you repeat yourself? I got lost in envisioning you with a ballgag in your mouth"

Dude it sounds like the sub was specifically made for you the way you write your Journal I am very happy to hear this good luck to you my friend I am on day 30 and I've been getting some pretty good result myself I flirt effortlessly women are drawn to me easily I get laid every weekend or every other weekend and I'm just day 30 I wonder what it would feel like if I am day 100 like you I guess I just have to wait to find out. Haha good luck as always keep us updated.

Quote:Aura + choking = win

Don't forget spanking too haha.

Yeah definitely Ben, definitely. Choking tho as the aura is contageous, especially when gazing their eyes when doing it.

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Coming to terms with a shitton. Feeling pretty much IDGAF and almost non empathic, but hey, its great. In a way tho I feel expanding and writing now, reaching out.
Things about authority in the area of sex is growing, becoming unshackled. It comes natural now. In a way Im now knowing, thus meh over sex in a sense. Also, revisiting my "psychopath" period. Non caring, lack of empathy, self absorbed, grandiose, attitude, brilliant mind and sex god. Im also facing some past stuff such ad my interest dying down after pounding the poon. She has to stimulate me or its a mere fucktoy, which I wont reject, but yeah, its something. Fucking all on sight.

In the BDSM sense, I realize im a sadist. ( yeah yeah, heavy loaded but it is what it is )

Also, getting laid is ridiculous easy. Comes down to beliefs and mindset. Im dark but IDGAF now. Im purely going to value giving and offering and feelin the damn abubdance. People paying stuff for me makes me hella depressed and even powerless and traumatized. Ya I know. The impact of it is huge.

Im way into myself. Radiant. My whole vibe is strong and showing yet morals are somewhat overrated. Do whatever the fuck you wanna do. Deepening some stuff. Version A is now about purging and installing other stuff.

Im yet to come to terms to getting what I want. Obligations are overrated in a way. Ideals over practice and all that jazz. Like, your beliefs may hinder practical means. Just go get it. Realize what it is. Be unapologetic to it, apply it. Its a powerfull mindset from an almost objective stance. It opens the world once more.

Also, dreams involve real life people now that I know, I have tons of dreams, which I tend to remember better when waking up.

Feeling good further more ( 17-9-17 almost hundred days of DMSI??) yet again shattered to an extent due the remark of trauma and been given stuff. Oh well, what do?

Edit: the IOIs are constant yet subtle, quick glances, licking lips, stares, eyes making contact, body language such as dangling feet and other signs. the SubC brought this up. also, having a massive headache and lots of depression coming up, aswell as panicky anxety, bringing me to the brink of passing out. US is ran now, my whole body has this warm glow now over it, arund my head, hands, legs. Im slightly growing in interest of running B.

Horny as f#ck.

Tindr matches pretty hot. I came a long way and look onto it with exciting anticipation. Im now at a point im even happy about it, and not from a needy point, but rather a sense of "yeah, I like it, hooking up fun"kind of stuff. my whole body is tingling and excited even. Also, manifestations going strong on tindr. feelin it in my bones. Some profile themselves as so sex ready.. theyre eyes and energy is bursting through some pictures like "ugh"I read it on an instant. DMSI is nothing but benefits now. The clearing has now broken through at a point its all fun to hook up and hit up, even from my stance. Succes is there anyways, no matter what, if one doesnt end up being somewhat as fuck close, then another will definitely, my screening habits have been purged out aswell, its now rather bringing it to execute like "pussy is pussy"well, not fully, but its a stark contrast to what it was before.

Also, visons of being horny af, sitting back at some party, while women come all up seducing.
I do not believe in the one, but some responses in my whole being is like "match made in heaven"kind of stuff. something Sarge ( heads up to you bro! ) has mentioned before on the forums.

Another is chracteristics of what I like im women, which ill will manifest more instantly ( think green eyes, darker hair, busty, non busty ) they already exist. They all attract to me, manifest right here and now?! snipers in full motion, Also, them being attracted in the first placem, then act. from my former girls it was key. so she shows IOI's, attraction whatsoever, and she wants it. doesnt exclude cold approach of the bat but soit. its even faster then me at all now, like mere realizing. Im pretty much in the zone now, in DMSI now.

Aaaand another woman. Damn. Ps; pushing the loops and im getting shallow and superficial and narcissistic. Broke no fap yet my sexual hunger is insatiable. Im feeling almost non caring totally in a sense of businessman who doesnt give a shit. Not american psycho like, but mildly. Stuff is insane currently, great and walking around with a sort of superiority vibe. Like myself being some roman greek god and all about superficially. Letting go of depth tho aswell.

Strong hits with blond girl. Cute as heck. Unspoken but sure. We both felt it. And ho-ly f#ck, I feel amazing. An chainreaction and snowball effect of succes. Accepting one switch after another succesfully and just perfectly.

Also, I. Can't. Stop. Flirting. With. M. And we enjoy it. My remarks and comeback are on point. I just give in which is key followed by ecstacy and euphoria. M aint even my type at all but this is really strange and effortless flowing. Being the centre first. Tindr is a succes, its abundance of women. Im obsessed by becoming sexual liberated and skillfull. Having memories of pre-DMSI where women did initiate while I wasnt doing anything. Escalation without words. Presence first. Might toy around a bit with it. Gonna look for other platforms bedide tindr aswell as creating another income stream cuz why not.

I execute and grow in this sense. Its baseline to be clear and realized and looking forward and up to what coming next. Horny af still and so sure already of hot women craving and wanting me. Even before I consciously know.

Im also sort of half asleep and my eyes feel strongly projecting making B giving multiple looks in curiosity. When I speak people shut up mostly like turning their attention my way.

All IOIs are on me now. DMSi turns around the tides and is heavily supporting and redirecting me to external sex outlets and its finally breaking through.

My whole body is buzzin, IDGAF about women now and am unaffected by their feelings, from what I know for certain is, IOD's might actually be triggered in women because they get hyper self aware and insecure. oh well, IDC. panties will drop anyways, panties will get wet anyways. Also, my interst in gettin inked is growing, aswell as pierced. I want to have tattoo's from pennywise and am reliving my whole interest in horror and tattoo's. At the same time I see a beauty in everything aswell, it dawned pretty much when returning from the gym. Like, everything and everyone.

I also really dont care whats going down and what not. im pretty much positive at this point.

(09-20-2017, 07:57 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]My whole body is buzzin, IDGAF about women now and am unaffected by their feelings, from what I know for certain is, IOD's might actually be triggered in women because they get hyper self aware and insecure. oh well, IDC. panties will drop anyways, panties will get wet anyways. Also, my interst in gettin inked is growing, aswell as pierced. I want to have tattoo's from pennywise and am reliving my whole interest in horror and tattoo's. At the same time I see a beauty in everything aswell, it dawned pretty much when returning from the gym. Like, everything and everyone.

I also really dont care whats going down and what not. im pretty much positive at this point.

Quick question my man. Are you listening to the ver3.1 A or B?

Still listening to A.

(09-20-2017, 09:55 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Still listening to A.

That's interesting man, so all these results you have been getting is from A? How long have you been on A? If you don't mind me asking?

Im about to hit the 3 month mark with DMSI, have listened to B for 18 days all together, the rest I listened to A. after my last run of B for 14 days, I switched back to A. After the last 14 days of B, I decided to run A/B for 14 days each, but sticked to A since as I felt the healing was still needed. never looked back after that and thus I am still running A. So, Ive runned A for, 2,5 months? Idk. not really counting the days anymore.

I will run B pretty soon, and take on A back on november and december, Another thing is obsession with Halloween. So many plans and ideas around it. Holiday season is pretty awesome, I love it for some neat reason.

How old are you Kol? And where do you live?