Acknowledging im going through some deep h/c now. Like, curling up kind off h/c which demands me fully. I feel it in my bones atm. Its very intense. Like going through a whipe out and being created anew or something like that. Weeping is something I want but cant now. DMSI, at times...sigh. my whole emotional field is going haywire.
Seeing glimpses of something massive now in the area of wealth and succes. The clearing impacts fully. Im already changing and shifting on high pace as I notice my impulses. Also, I feel it hitting my core atm. Deep soul touching. Talking bout kino lol. The wealth image and succes is beautiful. Oml.
Im whiped out.
(12-11-2017, 10:51 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Acknowledging im going through some deep h/c now. Like, curling up kind off h/c which demands me fully. I feel it in my bones atm. Its very intense. Like going through a whipe out and being created anew or something like that. Weeping is something I want but cant now. DMSI, at times...sigh. my whole emotional field is going haywire.
I'm on that with you brotha!
Thanks man. We'll definitely get through this.
Im still in the h/c it seems tho externals have been ramped up but frankly idc. No interest in noting down the countless events of today and the phase feels huge and massive. Like, very basic and low info reporting now. A is taking lots to consume atm but the glimpses of getting at the other side of the h/c phase is there. My attention is fully turned off/away right now.
For the sake of it; some things that took place;
Women looking hypnotized, including dentist lady who started to stroke my jaw. Started to get aroused right there like a piece of meat. Feltgoodman.
Male dentist winking. Didnt care. Yet had a strong wtf moment. Other women winking and smiling and stuff.
Everyone seemed to be affected by my aura. Walking into the fentist building this girl was locking and checking me out blatantly. Didnt care one bit, did handle the procedures like a freakin rockstar. Felt it literally. Banter still up. Idgaf.
Dentist women was engaging. Fell almost asleep aswell and zoned out into a sort of self induced trance state. Other girl, cute af walked in several times. Felt somewhat off. Like, on a subtle level like she did it on purpose. Started to snipe her consciously, cuz why not.
Again, on A, things become dreamlike. Slightly foggy. Lots of yawning. Feeling totally drained and vulnerable in the sense of "just existing"
Guys are more respecting, one guy got nervous amd fumbled over his words while hitting up. Everyone cgecks me out. Almost all women check me out and love being engaged. Made me think back about when things went batshit and I became overloaded with the IOI bombing..part of me struggles to keep it together. Let go.
Wrote more rhen intended. Oh well.
Having christmas event this evening with women I know that overtly showed intetest. Well see. H/c is priority to me currently.
(11-15-2017, 12:07 PM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks brother. Its a mixture of both. My style is mostly freeflowing so it might blend at times, but overal, exectution takes definitely place. I'm digging your username btw.
Had an realisation just now; it is external. Mind=blown.
Thanks brother. I love the character but he's not totally outcome independent. So I figure I can be a more improved version.
Did you find you're getting more from 9 loops vs lesser loops?
Honestly, Im running 2 loops since monday after running 9 loops. I find 2 loops to be way more effective then 9. My sweetspot used to be 5, atleast, pinpointing the amount of loops running, my subc (?) bit itself into that, and didnt let go
Now running 2 loops, and life is more enjoyable, seduction is high, girls are pursuing me and basically the hottest girls are there to pick and choose, with high closing succes.
Ive had blonds fight over me in subtle ways while I was eye fucking a hot brunette at the same time, and we both knew. Women act more submissive. Im.also aware of women playing their seductive games and callin them out. Its obvious.
9 loops definitely had its impacts, but left me depressed, burned out and avoidant in daily life at times. Probably, now I dialled back on the loops, those high end loops also have room for being executed and processed.
My sleep is abyssmal tho.
22-12-17 ( 3.1 A day ? )
Im feeling strong heat radiating from me akin to B, till the point of feeling literally hot and very much social, and I am even sweating due the heat comin from me, literaly. . Also, having a sense of healing cycles that are, through 2 loops, way more clear to me, 2 loops work perfectly fine for me now, still have the urge to cross the 2 loops into more loops. Feeling absolutely golden, besides in the morning, in which there seems to be a sort of "catching up" manifesting itself in less confidence/strong self-consciousness.
Already planning out more activities to undertake. Im very much motivated and driven, straight to the point like a sharp knife cutting through the butter.
strong IDGAF attitude aswell. increased social status and abundance, increased attraction from women, yet aswell having a very strong drawing through cryptocurrency. Its more then obsession, its the next step in my self-evolution.
Approaching aint an issue, when we match energeticaly wise, autopilot takes it from there. also, nothing can stop me, I am like a bullet train. having aswell found my calling spiritually, an deep resonance and draving to. if this breaks rule 4, call me out Ben.
In fact, Im ravenous in being called out, in ways that are constructive. for a matter of fact, give me other insights, I eat thatg shit up.
Im finding my banter and funny attitude, mixed with cockiness and social savagery to be flourishing.
Like other members have written about here on the forums, currently youtube has started playing marilyn manson, shits epic as fuck.
moke:
To come to the LOA stuff, visualisation and visions come to me, pop up in my awareness, yet DMSi seems to dis-illusionize me, like, getting to terms with conjunction in action, having the full on support of both, causing an synergetic vision and outlook in life.
24-12-17
Its been a while since I had a ( near ) panic attack in public for whatever reason. This directly threw me in an snowballing downward spiral. Lots of women in public, opened a bunch, as approaching isnt a big deal at all anymore. I only have to throw some random comment and the opener is set, from thereout it progresses. Its being in game all the time.
I have strong indication it has to do with my past coming to the surface, many things at once, many realisations, yet, due to the shielding, im not really having a clue as to what it is. The pattern reveals itself over time. Another pattern on DMSi, is the nostalgia aspect and revisiting aspect of my past. I do realize its my past and it loses its intensitry, thus having my view more on the future and more free.
I strongly dislike being inhibited at times still, its dragging me down and makes everything feel so heavy, rusty and non-organic and lacking in fluidity. Its similar as being stuck in mud and being sucked in.
I had a dream involving RSDmax. we where haninging out and things flowed naturally. I dont own a scooter, but in the dream I had one. One girl went full seduction on me in the dream, feeling her primal, animalistic side intensely. It reminded me about being full blown sexual, with no breaks, only the pure, intense, ravenous deveouring sex. I could feel her lust come over me, immersing in it. There was a wall, yet also a huge gap, like some sort of castle, eventually we found our way around it, and me and the girl went full in. She was hungry for it, lustfull hungry. It was amazing, and seemed to carry over in the daytime awareness, like something healed.
Now things feel even more closer.
Im having these mental images of walking into vanues, like Starbucks for example, or other gatherings, doing groceries, having 5 women minimum everywhere, like a "welcome home"kind of dynamic, while being an very natural feeling.
I do also notice when talking with people, before opening my mouth and making eye contact, they seem to be anticipating and wanting me to talk. When I do, I see the relief poppin in people. Its like they wait. Guess it has to do with the "meeting half way"kind of thing, and DMSi doesnt exclude the matters of approach and being approached. its like nothing really matters in that case and is just another internal belief.
The hunger generated is also something that has increased profoundly the past few days/couple of weeks, I keep eating and keep being hungry no matter what I eat. there are moments I am having no hunger at all, and feeling okay, and these moments make me feel somewhat normal.
Blissing out. Sun is shining and women are highly affectionate towards me. Lifes good. Great even. It all has something extra to it, like, more bright colorfull.
Deep pull towards being sexy and women being extra. Im enough yet strifing for more. Dipping in female energy like a warm bath.
Tattoos on obvious places have my strong interest now. Hand tattoos, neck tattoos, sleeves. Its all beautiful.
Akin to an mdma trip. Im feeling damn good and my attitude changed.
Edit: looking in the mirror at the gym my eyes are out of this world. My confidence is skyrocketing aswell. Women are a given. Im so excited about it all. Life is damn good and approaching is wonderfull. Execution yet not bothered at all by it. Im a whole different guy now. Aura flames up. Incredibly social.
To add to today (28-12)
After being done at the gym and being in my space I went out for groceries. I notice a strong increase in swagger and bodylanguage, aswell as comfort and confidene.
At the checkout people started to chat me up, a kid also chimed in when I talked about the crowdiness and loads of groceries people had, along the lines of "it seems like christmas expands" eventually the kid started to talk that it was for vacation. Before I knew I asked where they are going to. "We're going to france"
The mom looked at me as if she could shoot me. What the actual fuck. I enjoyed the convo. Something pure, freeflowing about it. Like kidlike spontanity. Effortless. I now enjoy such things, before kids used to make me uneasy to say the least.
Some sneaky glances from other ladies. Again, people look relieved when talking.
Having stronger urges to balls out approach more and more. Passiveness killed off.
Having really strong urges to run AM6 again. Hitman mentality also returns, like some deeper purpose like yesterday. At the gym fully being tunnelvisioned before training, calm, solid, collected wrapping my wrist with wristwraps, very low profile acknowledging other people in the lockerroom. Not ghosting, just being centred and focussed.
Upcoming days will lead me to more numbers and dates. Damn.
Yesterday before bed I started to have visions involving colors, such as purple. Led me to meditate on it and felt myself quickly tune in. Also, nature reflects mating process? There is stuff to learn from? My focus on many areas are firing right now. Like one leads to another.
AM6 is so fucking tempting now.
29-12
Im about to severe more ties that hold me, from my point of view, back. people that shove shit down my throat, what is referred by blackdragon as "the prison", blooming self-esteem, being enough, confidence, zen and what not, pretty much goal 2 from what I remember off the top of my head. Im done, no longer going to put up with this crap. My DMSI run has brought this stuff up countless times, yet the literral abundance tht comes with this is crystal clear to me, some fears around it seem to be cleared, The whole "you should follow the rules of society and 9-5"while I perceive it as a pretty much waste of time and small mind thinking. expand, grow, whatever, not just withering away and crap. Again, this is something that irks me, its so futile, but then again, its pretty much black and white thinking, and limits me greatly.
I cant put up anymore with the bs of people wanting to keep me in their matrix so to say. "but it has to be done!"yadayadayada, Im realizing more and more and am willing to say "no more"at this point, telling them off and telling them that they can screech about this all they want, it doesnt affect me, nor does it have any relation to me. I dont play their cards, at all. I have massive oppurtunity in working areas as well.
Self-esteem is a huge one for me, like, self-esteem to stick to my goals, to stick to it and gain enough momentum to snowball my life and the changes. im doing some deep work now. Literally the whole splitting of focus is a huge factor that fucks over. no plan A, B, C ad infinitum. Just plan fucking A and blaze the trail. Otherwise it leads to no-where. Sounds pretty black and white, but focus ios pretty strong as of now.
Im seeing the bs and the maniipulation just clear now. the time wasting. had some anger coming up this morning related to "S", who I dated. She flaked for whatever reason, perhaps I came on to strong, perhaps I was escalating to hard, perhaps she was triggered and perceived me as to much value, who knows, IDC. she flaked when setting up a second date, in which I even spelled it out as to day and time, and still she told "I dont know what date "that is" *facepalm* I didnt even came back after to this shit. i refuse to chase that stuff any longer, just radio silence and let it bleeding to death. Cant even remember the anger about it, came with the realisation fo having shitton of abundance, so thats kinda ironic.
I cant even say fuck women, without having DMSi slap me sideways and fuck me sideways and shove the abundance in my face. fires up the aura like mad tho.
Sorta thinking what my AM6 - > SM3 run wouldve be, i cant help but think that DMSI ( being seduced, women initiating sex ) is somewhat polar opposite to SM3 in ways as it is the other side, regarding both subs. AM6 is go get, while DMSI is all about "being seduced"
This is just my view and understanding at now, my speculation.
Went with a friend of mine getting some stuff before crashing at current place of another friend. I notice im sort of ignoring ice cold but this one girl at the checkout ( not ours ) was hanging.
Locked eyes with her. Beautiful smile. Opened her after seeing "the spark" that smile was cheeky but sexy.
Her: leaning a bit.
Me: are you tired in a bf kind of relationship way ( autopilot )
Her: looking sexy "little bit, just bored because there aint people around"
Me: walking off but still locking "when are you off?:
Her: "at 8"
I sank in a very seductive state. Time stopped. Noticed in my corner of my eye that she told her college while glancing at me. She was effin cute.
My swagger and bl skyrocketed further the evening like now, im effortless.
Friend of mine chatted up some familiar girl and I seemed to "know her" in some ways. DMSI is finding ways to proceed and succeed by setting frames that lead to sex in that way.
Confidence. Owning myself. Beastmode. It all about me now. Women are a bonus. Internal stuff is golden.
Happy new year. Its great to get the approach engine running. Making connections left and right. Women wanting to be opened. If im my cocky confident alpha self Im good to go. Owning that shit. World is mine.
Having a abundant social circle and connections everywhere without caring much but numbers is great. Im aware of the quality of people tho but know im vibing with those of skills and succes. Something about people that are somewhat "misfits" because of traits is standing out tho. I have my control on the handles. Im sure about that, in control. Maybe it reflects my own internal health and clearing. At the same time im breaking through to the beyond and become all higher then everybody else. Misfits ir "low class" people is something thats sticking out and something thats not my cup if tea yet am able to communucate with them.
Had some guy displaying strong social skills and it was somewhat great to witness. Fluid, smoith, reeling in and drawing/attracting in.
It reflects a "it doesnt matter really much" which is a red thread to breaking through and expanding giving room to grow.
Its all magnetic.
I actually feel its my purpose at this point to hone my social skills and conquer the world. Its like a urgency thing. Whatever DMSI throws me in, I definitely will do so. Like, great. The changes are huge and full package and total. This again brings some mental imagery with it, which makes sense and relates in ways beyond the picturing, its rather, relating to and connecting to.
First day after running B and im getting very comfortable around 8's for example. Its the strong IDGAF thats coming back again, while I had this on A, Im sort of musing that B has the full focus, without having some attention to the healing.
Chatted up a girl and held strong eye contact with her. I could tell she became aroused at some point. not to say, Im experiencing Visuals of being the perfect bf in some ways, by skiping the whole "get to know"and straight up escalating. Its like re-meeting eachother and go straight up physical. Anyways, she came in, beamed a smile, while having 2 (gay?) friends with her. she was bubbly, blond, blue eyes, great smile. I isolated her and chatted her up for a bit, but could tell, by bodylanguage, that she was interested. She kept babbling and opening up, re-engaging the convo and I was slightly playfull bordering cocky.
Guy I was somewhat working with asked if we knew eachother, which is telling. Like, it was clear as fuck that I was comfortable, I could read the puzzled look on his face like a "wtf, how" expression. I told him "no" without any big deal attached to it.
She came i with directly locking with my eyes, I caught us staring directly in eachothers eyes without even giving a fuck, it was meant to happen.
Other women giving more obvious glances, like getting distracted, turning their heads. While they are talking, they cant help but getting distracted and throwing glances. I cant even pinpoint how I feel on B now. Its almost to subtle.
My memory is also pretty much in the dumps, Im not even caring of recalling at all, like being half asleep and having autopilot taking care of it all.
For some reason Im now thinking back at this girl "A", and what I will do to her, and what we will do. probably, if we meet up some day, she might jump my bones as she showed interest before, strong IOIs and balatant telling me she wanted me with her, having sex and stuff, the girl I sexted a bit with few months ago. Also, the girls dreaming about me is a thing.
Self-esteem felt elevating this morning, last night after running high amount of US loops, I felt light, as being in a husk which was my body and almost felt light like air. DMSI also seems to cover more vain things, like superficial stuff, surface stuff, projecting some strong exterior/eternal presentation.
having more and more visuals popping up around sexual escalation since running B again, which is highly arousing. Itll be very intersting to see what upcomin days will bring while running B.