Still riddled with the flu and addictions come back in full force. There is strong confidence going round yet I am confused and everything is surreal feeling at this point, hard to pinpoint what it is really. Almost like a dream. Im all over the place.
Women I encounter are motormouthing my ears off.
In terms of listening to the sub, last couple of days the aura ramps up HARD. Its like feeding into itself, and at the same time it is like a black hole of attraction to which women and manifestations are drawn and sucked in.
Edit: recognizing the full force of addictions coming back makes me happy in the sense of A healing.
Threesomes are natural comin now. Im carefree for lack of better words yet dominant yet rather in a more natural way? Like, I commin to the conclusion about DMSi is trough simply being. sweet sweet clearin. Especially when getting aware of limits and knowing im growing bounds and leaps.
Staying on A as long as my subconscious coins it. Well, strong swings take place, fully mixed states aswell and lots of negativity that, I thought, AM6 dealt with, the standing up for myself thing. It has to be pretty deep. This anger, rage, jelousy, agression, pissed offness on the split second. Feelings and emotions feeling is good now. Gimme it all.
So, thats that. ION...
Externals are ramping up. Im chatted up by people like im a rockstar superstar celebrity. Otherwise im stsrting to become some kind of cocky ass fuckboi. Idk man. I like it when I dont care, am confident and non caring about women, like I know they are attracted. The externals are obvious. Internals improve but not without being fucking braindead and shit at times, being socially inept and shit. DMSI does fix this. Admitting is a strong game.
Realizing the dark side of sex and am diving in it aswell. Like it snowballs.
A healed me in far superior ways at this point yet am still affected when some girls play shit. Its really triggering me still. Ffs. Like "I want your D and send Dickpics!" and the next its all vague and shit like shameless flirting around and hoe-ing Round. Yes, its hurtfull. Call me a lil bishhh. Lmao.
Running A is already handling this shit. Whatever. I really use the words shit lots eh? Well SHIT.
Anyways. Healing is painfull now, like coreshaking and touching. Milfs want me. Women crave, lust and want my dick. Life's good and when im on, im ON. Also realize something about DMSI with the non approsching thingie and women seducing me. But damn, I look hot af in the mirror with my sexy eyes and jaeline and glowy face and... yanno. Everything. It blew me the f away.
One moment im clear. Next moment im confused.
What are all these women doing to me... like older women A was seducing harder and harder today. In a way I feel naked and fully exposed, like my cock is full on obvious. Strong celebrity effect, doors opened by women. Im not even inhibited in public anymore aswell. If milf A would have her way she would blow me right on spot. Its that strong. All caring, showing interest, subc isolating me, having herself fully focussed on myself.
Also, Im singing in public and my voice is clean as fuck. Panty dropper for sure. The only thing is.. boredom strikes like all is somewhat meh in ways. Like it doesnt affect me.
Also becoming more and more of an asshole, laughing at them blowing themselves out. Taking non seriously ( yet succes if I wanted is an strong and easy focus shift on command and in will )
Last night visualisation came to me, full on vivid and enjoyed being in it full senses.
DMSI is massive on the impact. It drops panties. It makes women stammer and lose control of themselves. Like last few days they lose sense and by paying for things they mess up. Not to say, the girls Im seeing at times are more and more affected, shy, smiley and stuff. Even hard dance girl C is injecting herself. Fuck IOIs, sex is where its at.
R was also poking me today, yet hoovered around. I ignored her some times like IDGAF. its fun how its all games lol. IDGAF is vital and key. Like, dissing me, but then getting physical, sitting next to me and even spanking my ass?! Wtf is with this womennnnn
I would have my way with "S" aswell. Im recognize the continuous flow of women now and succes in other things. Not to say, bucketlist experiences hit me and I know theyre a reality if not, becoming one. Goals are set in a now frame.
Im about to upgrafe myself in complete fashion. Getting rid of cigarettes for example. Its dying out. Im now taking full on responsibility.
Sex is a drive in everything aswell. Succes for example. Sexual drive seeps through all. Its hardwired core drive.
Im having glimpses of what it is to be so sexy and unhibited and its glorious. Like, you know the sandbox option of rollercoaster tycoon? Yeah that. The clearing is breaking through and I am self amusing. I also find myself doing things strongly like Ichigo mentions in his journal about doing things before noticing it.
Just came back from the gym now. People were somewhat annoyed because I claim my place and IDGAF. coming from opposite direction and im like "yeah woman, and now what eh?" With the biggest most mocking laugh on my freaking face. Im doing so many things now and its euphoric. Singing, doing new things. I also notice how things are handled before they are, like a new car, fixing my current one and what comes overruns the current, or rather, what is overruns the old thats perceived or something. How to put this in words, I have no clue. Its a matter of speech patterns, casting through words. Like, talking about these matters creates a gap or some shit, while I rather talk vision. People dont get it. Doesnt matter. I do. Its peace.
10X is awesome aswell as a mantra. My visions and what is, is mindblowing yet normal. Life is surreal. I love life.
I figure when DMSI will bloom if I would take a break for 3.2, core characteristic would be maximum uninhibition and being mentally mastered.
Im on fire today and equally mindblown.
Had my parents over today. Notice negativity and how I have absolutely 0 chill to it. Like negativity is cut out right off. Guess im in the process of getting the right people around it. It felt downright toxic without any room for any compromise about it. The ridiculing and non seriousness would be reason enough to fire. Also, gathering reference snd info in an instant.
Burning bridges is back. In a sense I dont care about ego at all. It doesnt registrate. Im here for the deal. Like deeper knowing purpose. Its fire. 7/8/9 figures... who cares. Its plain old simple. Outflow, cashflow, leads, pipes etc. Get it. I wont sliw down. Rather catch up with me as I aint slowin down son.
I give 0 fucks over cold calling. Closing, saving time, go getting it directly is where Im at. No time to waste, nor room for hesitation. Its ferocious. Warlike. Close it, make the call.
I notice some trauma coming up still, or, atleast, im having a sense its that, and A is digging through, shoveling it away.
Im very selective in women. I rejected some and am more merciless with myself. 0 bs once again. Firing, rejecting things. Compromises.
Im still running A. Im rambling. Having the drive and ferocity, deals making, growing. Having time as something highly to me yet being on this high also directly tweaks my communication. Learning while we go.
To much to talk about. I aint talking about the women I lay. Im about experiences and its godlike golden. Laydown.
4-11
Im so agressive now bordering bi-polar like a strong ass conflict going on. Listening to my A loops. Im changing in countless ways, but like I said.; shits goin ham.
Music hitted me core wise, like cutting through to the soul. Got some food, ordered it and the girl behind the corner was looking down, smiley and submissive, like stammering and all that stuff. She went wrong the first round, asking something about food I didnt even mention at all.
Then, at the grocery store, went to get some drinks. E shifts in responses and mostly when playing around with her, she is responsive. Nice tits. What keeps with me right now is that she gave crotch display and open bodylanguage, like, legs opening while leaning back while I went through. Thinking back to this makes me want to rail her till her eyes roll back in her sockets. It arouses me pretty instantly. Man, that girl....
Having massive anger revolving social skills. Im pretty much sure its in DMSI, Im sure. Its resistance.
Another thing is that my car needs to be fixed. What needs to be fixed can be done most early the 15th. It pisses me off to having it not done now, like I want it to be over with.
It takes some reminders to not just smash fucking holes in the fucking walls. I just dont get why its taking so much to just heal and NGAF. like, being social and all is easy. Been there, done that. Being open, flowing, confident and fun, getting my goals met and such. There is nothing to fear. To flip it and understand it. Healing really fucks me up now. It fucks me up that there is so much potential in me. To collaborate is something to aspire to. That I have so much going for me, so much greatness. That launching new projects is a piece of cake. In my chest I even feel this energy like something. In my stomach is a slight weight, like anxiety. In my body I feel emotions and feelings well up now. Like crying, sadness.
I really am wanting to know, dying to know, what it is thats going on. When im feeling fucked up and being real in all that shit. If someone asks, that I can tell. That if an women wants to just asks me how to make me feel better, that im able to just say a fucking BJ would be what I fucking want, only for it to escalate from there, instead of going like...I dont even know. I want this GSF to be done with.
Im so done. Im aware of a shitton of things to turn into a reality.
Today was a good day. 7-11-17.
Its official, DMSi is breaking me down to the utmost rawness. Like, tearing me apart, and I broke down yesterday and am breaking again,. like, its good to let this all out. There is so much to say about this, so much to process at this point, and going in head first.
the changes are so so big now. like, even outside my control and thats great, like unable to even having the control on this and just letting it go. Thats what version A is doing now, and Im not even sorry.
havent ran DMSi since 4 P.M today, and its now almost 10 P.M. Im having an enormous amount of energy now, lots of realisations flow through me, sense of manifestation and goals, an deeper trust at this point. DMSi is making me a social butterfly, its when I go out today I will go ham, total IDGAF attitude. I still have sexual blocks going on the last few days, I dont know why. like, being triggered when a girl is showing strong sexual interest, and im freezing?! I know Im a sexual guy, and am normally unfiltered about this, the sexual banter and back and forth stuff. A might deal with this, or it is a result of A digging up some things. Im having all kind of goals, plans running through my head, like, almost going for the lolz of it. A might be blooming already now. I have also an growing inner voice that tells me to run B from now on. Like, its met with positive anticipation and curiosity, unlike last time when I was probably in some deep healing cycle.
I want new tattoos.
Im in the process of changing my wardrobe.
Financial Im still improving inner wise.
Lots of things are now a given, like, the gap is almost non existent.
Im back in intersst of piercings.
Im loving shock value.
Im empathizing my looks strongly now aswell, like very clean and dressed sharp.
In the process of adding some things to my bedroom ( or rather, THE bedroom ) As soon as I commit to it, its a done and set deal.
having my focus more back aswell, like, eyes on the prize. A has still more huge potential undiscovered to me, and the h/c can go really freaking deep and changing total core and inner structures, which I believe it does now and currently.
Still somewhat attached to women, like basing shit on it. my frame isnt where I want it to be, autopilot and bantering not at a point hwere it could be and where I want it to be. Like, impulses manifesting and actions of which Im thinking "wtf was that?!"lowering value stuff. there might be a huige fear going round tho. as soon as I somewhat pull back from it, I regain vision of having me as the prize and countless lays of women, like, its insane of how much this process is starting to become automatically and piling up. if only this frame can get dominant in my whole being, it would be great and reflecting in my bodylanguage.
I still do deal with procrastination, like running against a solid wall when actually getting the action on, which in turn does trigger other things in my mind and body.
Started at 4-10 with the current run of A version DMSI 3.1. No breaks in between. The last couple of days socially wise im crumbling down. No doubt running DMSI will bring me to the 1% in that area through intent directed at the subc, its all there.
Having several things coming up and it is out of character. Vindictive, anger, jelousy, reactive and gsf to name a few, my reactions have been very hostile, like no empathy. Also the braindeadedness. If a girl is testing me through trying to get me to do for her, I shut down. Its like Im sorta locked in a one way track and unable to be playfull with it, which in turn causes confidence to crumble instantly. :/ like im back fully inhibited.
Wtf DMSI.
ION: autopilot is already all about the "bro, i will take you over and B will be ran" lololol. DMSI is seducing me to run B.
Running B now. To much greatness going on. Lotsa momentum and fired up. Lets goooo