I still say it's not that simple. I haven't cared to pursue women for years and the cycle never "reversed" for me. So it is not that simple.
still, I like the post, some good gems in there.
Sincerely take action,
1. If your this descriptive over txt with a girl your gonna turn her off.
2. If your emotions are always display, stop it. Be more stoic.
3. You remasculinize your mentality and how you express your emotions.
4. Be colder, do not take girls to seriously, or try to console them
5. Your definition of friend is their definition of some to take a joke.
6. Trivialize sex. Give a little less, it makes you less prone to taken for granted.
This is constructive criticism this is helping. Not feeling sorry for him, not babying his wounds.
He knows his wounds and uses them as excuse to not act in his long term welfare.
Do not thank me, merely analyze your behavior and neutrally study if it lean towards too nice( which girls view as feminine) or more assertive and selfish( which is masculine).
Perceiving from your post I brought these points because that's off the bat something i see is messing you up.
Take action you you've journaled and wallowed in your pain verbosely and masochisticly. But never take action. Everybody cuddles, are you soft and frail? You are not.
You enjoy being your own whipping boy and then at the end paragraph you try to put this optimist zeal. Only repeat the same downtrodden bleak to upbeat zeal yet again the next post same format.
Now you'll read and pull the dignified martyr tactic. And then the pity ensues.
I'm not trolling and I'm serious. Man up.
I was simply asked about why I felt I had issues with women. Which is a pretty big topic to me. I answered in detail as I have a few theories about why and unsure which one is the main reason, which I listed.
I gave relevant background in short form to give context for people who haven't read every single one of my posts ever. And to let others with similar problems know they aren't alone and can talk about it and deal with it here. Through my post, Chaos spoke of a similar situation he suffered.
I don't go around telling everyone ever my life story, being emotional, and being a victim or "martyr" or "dignified martyr". I was answering a post asking me something, I'm not afraid to answer, so I answered.
I take tons of action, you must not have read many of my posts. That isn't the problem. I'm hardly sitting in a room forever expecting magic to happen. Because I won't have sex with a hooker, doesn't mean I "take no action". Let's please not go down that road yet again.
I already said you gave some good points before and that I would think about it all. I have no idea what else to say. However, I appreciate the post and information in this new post. I already posted about a lot of it, even in the post you referenced albeit blown out of context a bit, so I know things need changing. Maybe in time that can happen. I'm doing the best I can to wipe out decades of severe damage, it's easier said than done.
Read the points I brought up. Because if this is how you express yourself, in such a fashion as I pointed out. There's an avenue, not more over description. Look and analyze.
There hasn't been post that hasn't been, one attempt and then acceptance of failure, more emoting.
Do you flirt with women? Do you know how ?
You were damaged so were others. You don't have to keep at it in a woe me fashion, you are using subs for that.
Darkness, have you ever stopped to think that what you believe to be true may not actually be, or may not be universally true, and what is right for you is not a universal "right for everyone"?
This isn't about being right this about catman thinking and using his intuition if any of those points ring true and if not objective assess his behavior to see what's repelling.
I think present blueprint and echo locating where the walls are thinnest is the better way, because thus far he's current way is not.
Seeking solace has a place. If there is no solution that is.
It's what's logical that concerns me, not what's "right for everyone". Anything else leads to alternative facts, lack of self accountability ensues, that's not moving forward. Keep telling yourself lies you want to hear, instead of reality grounded in truth. Which shall it be?
I've also been accused of kicking a woman in the stomach and causing a miscarriage. Fortunately she was a known liar and no believed her. Still highly worrying for me though.
Darkness, respectfully, perhaps you should start your own thread about what you think Catman should or shouldn't do, instead of blasting it repeatedly throughout Catman's journal.
I've read 4 pages of what you think is best for Catman. Last time I checked, he's an adult, he can come to his own conclusions. I don't know why you made it your crusade to suddenly save Catman from what you perceive to be his own fallacies, based on posts he writes on a forum.
But after numerous members have asked you already to dial it back a notch, maybe it's time.
You don't walk in his shoes, so I would cool off with the Personal Jesus complex (if I violated rule 4, I will change the term) and let the man post his own thoughts.
(03-10-2017, 05:15 AM)Duke.Togo Wrote: [ -> ]Darkness, respectfully, perhaps you should start your own thread about what you think Catman should or shouldn't do, instead of blasting it repeatedly throughout Catman's journal.
I've read 4 pages of what you think is best for Catman. Last time I checked, he's an adult, he can come to his own conclusions. I don't know why you made it your crusade to suddenly save Catman from what you perceive to be his own fallacies, based on posts he writes on a forum.
But after numerous members have asked you already to dial it back a notch, maybe it's time.
You don't walk in his shoes, so I would cool off with the Personal Jesus complex (if I violated rule 4, I will change the term) and let the man post his own thoughts.
this is where suggestions on what he should or should not do. Should go.
This isn't a crusade. This a diametricly different response as opposed to the default one. "I'm sorry that's terrible" "it's okay catman"
No where in my post have I negated his adulthood, respect enough to speak to him like a man. Not like he's a broken child, frail and delicate.
I am not trying to save him if you read the past pages, in one them, it states this is about catman helping himself. I don't need to cool off. The man is 35. Be realistic.And entrepreneur ain't nothing weak about that .
Thinking in the same as others is what self development is about or achieved.
Not to be so the last time I checked.
Take read at all the posts and you'll see a hive mentality. Great volume of likes on his most poeticized suffrage post. And yet nobody offers pragmatic approach, just excess chumminess. Installing in him the same hope that's kept a virgin this long.
Catman & Chaos, I feel you've done a huge service to the members of this forum by opening up about your experiences. It's nice to know you're not alone, and surely there are others on this forum that have experienced similar things, but are unwilling to admit it publicly, due to G/S/F around the very touchy subject.
I had a similar experience with my ex fiance. We had a pregnancy scare one time (7 years ago now, wow the time has flown!). I ended up taking a lot of drugs and had a blackout, but upon coming back to consciousness from the blackout.... She looked like she was in pain, holding her gut. After inquiring what had happened, she told me she asked me to punch her to do a ghetto abortion. I didn't believe i would ever do such a thing, but she insisted that I did. By the way she looked, I could only believe that I indeed did it. The trauma from that whole experience carried with me for many years, and only after E2 can I safely say I am 90-95% over the notion that I, with my own two hands, end a life that I had created. It was 6 years until I could begin to trust women again.... 6 years of not letting women get close to me, for fear of what they can make me do, and fear of what I could do.
I'd also been raped (by a man) when I was 19 years old, when I was living a dangerous lifestyle. and it was someone I considered to be a friend.
I also had a homosexual experience when I was drunk once.
Plus the few girlfriends I'd had in high school that didn't give 2 shits about how I felt.
You can bet your damn life I had deep resentment towards women, and confusion about my sexuality and sex for a long time. The G/S/F surrounding it all kept me trapped for YEARS. Until I'd start hearing stories from people in my life that have been through similar things. The more I talked about these events to other people, and hearing that other people have been through similar experiences, I felt the prison walls start deteriorating. Now, I no longer hide behind walls of G/S/F surrounding those subjects. It's a part of my story, and I own those parts of my story. There's a liberation that comes with being transparent to understanding individuals.
Subliminals have been a monumental help with getting over that shit too. I think with this new aspect of healing, we'll be healing from different avenues. I thought 3.0 was pretty comprehensive with its clearing/healing modules. Looks like 3.1 blows 3.0's healing out of the water.
Wow...I really respect you for speaking about all of that. I won't quote it out of respect in case you decide to take it down later. Just as I showed respect to Chaos.
We really do have massive weights we carry around...don't we?
It's no wonder we have the difficulties we're having. Purging this trash is necessary. This goes far beyond just getting laid, but feeling normal again.
I applaud you for having the courage to speak about your past. That was exactly why I spoke about mine, to let others see it's safe to talk about. I figured I would brave it and open up first as someone had to. I'm glad both you and Chaos felt okay about opening up also, that made me smile as it was exactly what I wanted. To show it's okay to talk about. This stuff is awful and there is never a "good" time to think about it or talk about it, but it can't be allowed to bury and fester. It can affect so many other things in our lives in ways we can't imagine.
We can get past it all, I'm positive about that.
Darkness, I think that's enough for now. I know Catman doesn't want to hear any more of it.
But i'll leave a thought that comes into my head that applies. Certain advice makes sense in some ways, but it's hard to really apply for somebody who has been traumatized and has alot of fear.
I can speak from experience about that, some of the trauma and such i'd had made me unable to apply alot of things.. and interestingly E2 gave me the most improved results with girls over programs such as AM and WM. I mentioned it to Shannon and he said it makes sense if alot of my issues have come from certain trauma and such.
It may sound weird, but in some cases like this the 'man up' type thing actually doesn't help but understanding and caring may help more. I already know you'll disagree with this. But I had more results from doing coaching in healing methods with women who took the more gentle caring approach than I had with the "come on man up, what the fuck" approach from guys.
(03-10-2017, 04:25 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Darkness, I think that's enough for now. I know Catman doesn't want to hear any more of it.
But i'll leave a thought that comes into my head that applies. Certain advice makes sense in some ways, but it's hard to really apply for somebody who has been traumatized and has alot of fear.
I can speak from experience about that, some of the trauma and such i'd had made me unable to apply alot of things.. and interestingly E2 gave me the most improved results with girls over programs such as AM and WM. I mentioned it to Shannon and he said it makes sense if alot of my issues have come from certain trauma and such.
It may sound weird, but in some cases like this the 'man up' type thing actually doesn't help but understanding and caring may help more. I already know you'll disagree with this. But I had more results from doing coaching in healing methods with women who took the more gentle caring approach than I had with the "come on man up, what the ****" approach from guys.
It doesn't sound weird and there's a momentary place/time for it.
this is such an active journal but i feel it is becoming more of a debate and dialogue on Catman's situation than catman actually trying to write his journal on DMSI....Catman I really hope that DMSI works for you, I am going to be following your journal and looking forward to the progress and changes that develops from it and I especially hope you get laid because of it. I really want DMSI to work for you where Sex Magnet didnt.
You have my support my friend, you have my support.....35 year old virgin nothing to be ashamed of, not that I am implying you are, people dont lose their virginity even till later out of no choice.....such as people of other cultures that cannot do anything till after marriage.....im sure some are out there...
these days people think it is "important" to "lose it" at such an early age before their 20s to say they are officially men and not even 18 yet.