Subliminal Talk

(08-01-2016, 09:31 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 06:46 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Spray of P114 always does the trick for me. Or some Noopept. Or, crying in the bathroom with the lights out, wondering where my life is going.

... I feel so alone right now.

jk.

I really wanted Noopept to work for me. Instead, it turned my short term memory into Swiss cheese. I just got dumber, and spacey as all get-out.

wait, did you use it with a choline supplement? If you have this effect from racetams it's possible you're not pre supplementing with enough choline (don't use choline bitartrate, i learned the hard way). The way noopept works is by increasing acetylcholine activity, but if you have no supply of choline in your brain, then noopept is effectively robbing you dry of acetylcholine, leaving you with the opposite effect desired.

(08-01-2016, 07:48 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 09:31 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 06:46 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Spray of P114 always does the trick for me. Or some Noopept. Or, crying in the bathroom with the lights out, wondering where my life is going.

... I feel so alone right now.

jk.

I really wanted Noopept to work for me. Instead, it turned my short term memory into Swiss cheese. I just got dumber, and spacey as all get-out.

wait, did you use it with a choline supplement? If you have this effect from racetams it's possible you're not pre supplementing with enough choline (don't use choline bitartrate, i learned the hard way). The way noopept works is by increasing acetylcholine activity, but if you have no supply of choline in your brain, then noopept is effectively robbing you dry of acetylcholine, leaving you with the opposite effect desired.

Yes, but I suspect I'm naturally caulk full of choline. I get MAJOR depression when I take any form of it.

(08-01-2016, 08:35 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 07:48 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 09:31 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 06:46 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Spray of P114 always does the trick for me. Or some Noopept. Or, crying in the bathroom with the lights out, wondering where my life is going.

... I feel so alone right now.

jk.

I really wanted Noopept to work for me. Instead, it turned my short term memory into Swiss cheese. I just got dumber, and spacey as all get-out.

wait, did you use it with a choline supplement? If you have this effect from racetams it's possible you're not pre supplementing with enough choline (don't use choline bitartrate, i learned the hard way). The way noopept works is by increasing acetylcholine activity, but if you have no supply of choline in your brain, then noopept is effectively robbing you dry of acetylcholine, leaving you with the opposite effect desired.

Yes, but I suspect I'm naturally caulk full of choline. I get MAJOR depression when I take any form of it.

i had imagined you would know of it since your vocation is in the gym, where supplementation is ubiquitous. so it's damn interesting, choline doesn't work on you, and noopept doesn't work on you. well, not the way they're designed anyhow. maybe you're genetically superior O_O lemme have some of that DNA!

lololol

(08-02-2016, 07:18 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 08:35 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 07:48 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 09:31 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-01-2016, 06:46 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: [ -> ]Spray of P114 always does the trick for me. Or some Noopept. Or, crying in the bathroom with the lights out, wondering where my life is going.

... I feel so alone right now.

jk.

I really wanted Noopept to work for me. Instead, it turned my short term memory into Swiss cheese. I just got dumber, and spacey as all get-out.

wait, did you use it with a choline supplement? If you have this effect from racetams it's possible you're not pre supplementing with enough choline (don't use choline bitartrate, i learned the hard way). The way noopept works is by increasing acetylcholine activity, but if you have no supply of choline in your brain, then noopept is effectively robbing you dry of acetylcholine, leaving you with the opposite effect desired.

Yes, but I suspect I'm naturally caulk full of choline. I get MAJOR depression when I take any form of it.

i had imagined you would know of it since your vocation is in the gym, where supplementation is ubiquitous. so it's damn interesting, choline doesn't work on you, and noopept doesn't work on you. well, not the way they're designed anyhow. maybe you're genetically superior O_O lemme have some of that DNA!

lololol

Lol, well I guess I'd never know until genetic testing is as easy as spitting and getting an instant read-out. That'd be awesome, btw.

I'm a little spacey by nature. I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached. For those who read my journal, I even left my damn bag behind when I went on vacation!

I went to shower with my 2-year-old yesterday and as I was about to get in he looks at me and exclaims, "Towel!" I had forgotten to get his towel. Good thing he was there to remind me, haha!

I will say that phenylpiracetam has worked for me, but it can also make me a little anxious/moody.

whoa, i'm having some deep emotionally charged doubts about all of this.

1. film distribution isn't for me. I'm using it as an avenue to get into acting, but it's mind numbing, and doesn't enage my passions whatsoever.
2. i can't live in india for a long time, it's driving me nuts here. i can't stand the way some shit is. like the sound of honking horns 24/7, making it damn near impossible to find peace and quiet.
3. this isn't the path i carved out for myself, it's a path given to me by someone else, and it seems like my best interests isn't in their mind/heart.

the whole mind numbing work thing describes me in this meme pretty accurately.


i have to go back to houston on october 2nd, because my visa doesn't allow me to be in india beyond that.... and i'm seriously considering not coming back. but the consideration is emotionally based, not logically based, for what it's worth.

if i jump ship and give up, does that make me a quitter? but what if i'm quitting for my sanity's sake? then it's for the greater good. lol my mind's a mess, and my heart is confused lol.

Pay attention to your choice of words - "coming back" vs "going back" here. You still consider where you came from (I think you said Texas, IIRC) as your home base, your "here." You seem to not feel anchored in India, do you think it might be simple homesickness or something stronger?

(08-03-2016, 02:25 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]whoa, i'm having some deep emotionally charged doubts about all of this.

1. film distribution isn't for me. I'm using it as an avenue to get into acting, but it's mind numbing, and doesn't enage my passions whatsoever.
2. i can't live in india for a long time, it's driving me nuts here. i can't stand the way some shit is. like the sound of honking horns 24/7, making it damn near impossible to find peace and quiet.
3. this isn't the path i carved out for myself, it's a path given to me by someone else, and it seems like my best interests isn't in their mind/heart.


i have to go back to houston on october 2nd, because my visa doesn't allow me to be in india beyond that.... and i'm seriously considering not coming back. but the consideration is emotionally based, not logically based, for what it's worth.

if i jump ship and give up, does that make me a quitter? but what if i'm quitting for my sanity's sake? then it's for the greater good. lol my mind's a mess, and my heart is confused lol.

Sounds familiar. BASE is infusing you with all the good stuff now. Almost. It took me some time to realize, but after I went through a similar turbulence I was becoming very steady in doing my thing. After the limbo the turbulence induced subsided, that is.

It will get better soon.

(08-03-2016, 02:25 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]whoa, i'm having some deep emotionally charged doubts about all of this.

1. film distribution isn't for me. I'm using it as an avenue to get into acting, but it's mind numbing, and doesn't enage my passions whatsoever.
2. i can't live in india for a long time, it's driving me nuts here. i can't stand the way some shit is. like the sound of honking horns 24/7, making it damn near impossible to find peace and quiet.
3. this isn't the path i carved out for myself, it's a path given to me by someone else, and it seems like my best interests isn't in their mind/heart.

if i jump ship and give up, does that make me a quitter? but what if i'm quitting for my sanity's sake? then it's for the greater good. lol my mind's a mess, and my heart is confused lol.

I think I can relate to your experience as well. During BASE I spent a lot of time alternating between doing either:

1) projects that I never liked but I considered to be a step in the "right" direction
2) projects that I enjoyed doing with all my heart and considered to be worthwhile... and they all failed for reasons that I still consider to be unfair.

I can largely attribute to this attitude why I don't yet have the income of a truly successful entrepreneur. I kept trying to find "my path" where as now, after a week of E2, I don't believe such a thing exists. Ironically, this actually frees me to pursue what I want with more gusto. I think it was burdening to me to even consider/label something I want to do "a path". Seeing that we have similar types as I'm an ENTP, I'm wondering if that may be relevant to you as well...

(08-03-2016, 08:27 AM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Pay attention to your choice of words - "coming back" vs "going back" here. You still consider where you came from (I think you said Texas, IIRC) as your home base, your "here." You seem to not feel anchored in India, do you think it might be simple homesickness or something stronger?

When i said "here" i referred to my curent location, India. Of course Houston is my home base, that's where everything i know and love is. And you're right, i'm not anchored in india. definitely not. i still feel like an outsider at times, and its doubly more so that i don't know the local language. it's got a lot to do with homesickness, being away from my friends and family. there's also some resentments about this place that are starting to destroy me. the culture is just not the same. i find myself in a state of rage from the noise pollution here.

(08-03-2016, 09:42 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]Sounds familiar. BASE is infusing you with all the good stuff now. Almost. It took me some time to realize, but after I went through a similar turbulence I was becoming very steady in doing my thing. After the limbo the turbulence induced subsided, that is.

It will get better soon.

There is hope! Much needed hope, and I much appreciate you encouraging me. BASE is a completely different beast. I felt suicidal during stage 1, and here during stage 3 i'm emotionally a wreck which is far from what a successful entrepreneur should be like.

(08-03-2016, 12:27 PM)Ivaylo Wrote: [ -> ]I think I can relate to your experience as well. During BASE I spent a lot of time alternating between doing either:

1) projects that I never liked but I considered to be a step in the "right" direction
2) projects that I enjoyed doing with all my heart and considered to be worthwhile... and they all failed for reasons that I still consider to be unfair.

I can largely attribute to this attitude why I don't yet have the income of a truly successful entrepreneur. I kept trying to find "my path" where as now, after a week of E2, I don't believe such a thing exists. Ironically, this actually frees me to pursue what I want with more gusto. I think it was burdening to me to even consider/label something I want to do "a path". Seeing that we have similar types as I'm an ENTP, I'm wondering if that may be relevant to you as well...

You know, I do believe I have a path, but it might be in ways I don't expect. I felt completely fulfilled when I was working at a sober living center and an AA club. The money was very poor, but my heart was fulfilled to epic proportions, knowing I was directly responsible for helping save people's lives. Which leads me to believe that the acquisition of money is not the goal I should be striving for. Even though my income was low, i did not feel scarcity. I felt abundant. of course, that was during my OF5G & E2 run and scarcity is largely fear based. But in a roundabout way, you refer to being realistic in expectations, and that's a lot of what i should consider. There are numerous books out there that talk about following your heart ("Reality Transurfing" being one of them, which i'm currently reading, and is probably a major culprit behind this emotional upheaval ), and they all generally point to alternate world views, which sound really amazing in theory, but are really hard to actually apply. And so that brings me to remember what my dad always told me growing up. "An executive does what needs to be done, not what he wants to do". Maybe I just gotta sit down, shut up, and do what's in front of me and stop being a little bitch about it

AHA! just like i'm used to:

Everything feels like it's falling to shat, then the breakthrough comes. Today's a lot calmer, and thank god for that. I got a crazy, unexpected newsletter from a website i don't remember signing up for. It was an astrology newsletter, and they had my birth information from what i assume was a free reading i requested a long time ago. Anyhow, the newsletter stated something about my Mars and Saturn, which are my 2 strongest planets. I will go further into details in the astrology thread, since this is not the avenue for that. But the timing of the newsletter was impeccable, AND the description of my 2 strongest planets and the interaction they are having in my professional life was so freaking ON POINT about all the emotional upheavals i had been going through lol.

It helps that I took shannon's advice in dropping my hours from 15+ to 12, and dropping the volume from -45dB to -55dB, FWIW

i'm finding myself trying to find reasons to quit BASE and run something else (E2 or DMSI). any and all suggestions, feedback, input, sense-slapping into me is welcome

(08-07-2016, 12:57 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]i'm finding myself trying to find reasons to quit BASE and run something else (E2 or DMSI). any and all suggestions, feedback, input, sense-slapping into me is welcome

1. Complete one run-through to see in which directions it can push you. This way you'll surely come back later.

2. You paid 500 bucks, so you owe it to you financially to run through.

3. If you quit on the first run, it will set a precedent for future runs.

4. When you quit now you'll always ask you later on 'what could I have achieved?'

5. 'Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they where to success when they gave up.' - Thomas A. Edison

6. 'If you're going through hell, keep going.' - Winston Churchill

7. 'Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.' - Dale Carnegie

8. Start reading 'The 33 Strategies of War' by Robert Greene.

(08-07-2016, 12:57 AM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]i'm finding myself trying to find reasons to quit BASE and run something else (E2 or DMSI). any and all suggestions, feedback, input, sense-slapping into me is welcome

Well, here's some (hopefully gentle) sense-slapping:

If you're in stage 3, chances are you've grown a lot, but you're yet to put it in the proper context. That's understandable - that's what the latter stages are for. As we agreed with Heavysm before - first your reality shifts (1-2), then you develop the skills (3-4), then you find out how they fit in the larger picture (5-6).

My guess is that if you quit now, at least some of those reality shifts you've mentioned before will be far from permanent as you'll likely never find out how they are supposed to serve you.

I'm also convinced you will not be able to accurately evaluate how BASE is working out for you until you're at least a few weeks into stage 5.

---
To play a devil's advocate for second, in my experience one run of BASE only gave me a little more than a glimpse as to what is possible. I can safely say that for me anything less than 2 runs would have been a lot less than permanent in the long run. Three runs... and I'm confident most of it will stick with me.

This was easier for me to do when there was no 5.5G around, but I think you're likely to face more temptation, especially as full 6G products start coming out. I think it all depends on where your priorities lie in the long run.

-----
To interject a personal opinion in the end, if I were you I'd finish this run of BASE. That way:

- you will get at least some permanent programming (and a lot of dormant one to be unlocked in the future)
- you'll have a better idea of whether BASE is for you
- you'll definitely have more more stuff to clear on E2 should you then decide to run it again

As for DMSI, I've never run it but personally, I can't imagine stopping BASE halfway because of it... even if it's just because DMSI sounds like the "fun" sub that doesn't seem to produce much of a long-term growth.

(08-07-2016, 01:18 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]2. You paid 500 bucks, so you owe it to you financially to run through.

for the record, i don't really feel "loss of my money". I have never felt that way with things in life. Money has never been a big deal for me, and is quite disposable- see how far away i am from being entrepreneurial? .

thanks for the advice and motivation guys. really, i'm over the halfway point in BASE2.1 {currently at day 18 of stage 3}. it'd be foolish for me to give up, after coming so far. But my mind is telling me to do so, even though I know that my heart really wants to just finish the program. In the end, even if I don't run BASE 2.1 again, I'll use the next generation version of it, of which I will receive a discount since I bought the 5G version.

It's just this run has been throwing me for a huge loop, and i'm just tired of feeling at an all time low; imagine your normal baseline mood level, but drop it down a couple notches. that has become my baseline, and i recognize that i've stooped into a bout of depression that has lasted since i began this program. and it's because of the resistance to this program that i feel this way.

Raz, you included some quotes that I've heard before, but cleverly forgot. Thanks for reminding me of that. The breakthrough is around the corner.

Ivaylo, you spit some golden nuggets there. I hate that 1 run of BASE is gonna basically do nothing if I don't follow it up with more runs in the future.

And yeah, DMSI is nothing but a piece of candy. It's definitely not worth stopping BASE. But it's the attractive little candy that shines so bright in the candy store, and you can smell it from a mile away.

I thank you gentlemen for your support. It feels good to be amongst company on this journey. That's a blessing.