(04-05-2016, 08:19 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]thanks Shannon. I'll give 72 hrs break (3 days) starting at 8 AM this morning, which concludes my E2 run of 32 days.. that'll give me enough time to deposit my check which will put me at just enough to buy BASE with just enough money remaining to live :') it's gonna break the bank but investing in BASE is probably the headfirst dive i need to take into the ocean of entrepreneurship, and since the fear of success has largely been cleared up (thanks goes to OF5G and EPRHA2.0), i feel this decision SHOULD NOT wait any longer, as i won't be 26 forever.
the timing couldn't be more perfect of everything happening in my life. some things fall apart so other things can come together, and that is how i can describe my E2.0 run for the 32 days i ran it for. my life is so chaotic and sad right now, but i'm OK with not being OK. this past week i have been in a lot of fear of the decision to move to another country to work on a new business venture, the opportunity of which came as a curveball and twisted the course of my life. i am having to make a tough decision (but i pretty much already made it, if you can't tell). I told "her" about this, and this led to the conclusion of our intimate relationship on sunday, which was sad but it was necessary. and to top it all off, a few hours ago, someone ran over my kitty cat with her car and so now i lost what i considered to be my son.
all of which happened during my E2.0 run, which wasn't "fun" so to speak, aside from the excitement of new technology being discovered and the experience that accompanies starting a new subliminal. There was pain, sometimes a lot of it, other times relatively little. but the pain had its purpose. the pain was the jet fuel to rocket my growth, and expanded my capability for emotional health. the wide open fields of my heart has largely been cleared of the weeds and the flowers and lush vegetation is free to take over.
i now have the blessed opportunity to start a fresh life in india, as an entrepreneur; my business partner being the mentor who will help me learn the industry (he's been in the industry 30 years now)..... i'm pretty sure this is the result of the refined manifestation i attempted after my first attempt was so crude that produced a mess of opportunities because i didn't specify exactly what i wanted.
i wouldn't trade my pain away for anything. my pain is my catalyst for growth, and i am on a growth mission in this life. i'm still eternally grateful for indigo mind labs for existing
<3
Ran over your kitten??
I didn't see that bit, that sucks man. I understand completely how pets become part of the family. I still miss my dog. It used to be awesome coming home and having her run up to me all happy when i'd had a bad day. And sitting there with her on the couch patting her would relax me so much.
Yikes, now that sucks! Hang in there man - if all this stuff is really just under the surface all the time, then eventually being without it must feel light indeed.
I also am glad that I don't consciously experience the pain. Thanks Shannon. My question is, how would you know when you had finished the program?
I know where I intend to be at the end of my run. But what if after getting there, and using the sub for an additional 32 to 64 days to solidify everything, I stop and then realize a week later that I wasn't finished? Or is this scenario not possible?
Holy crap. I had a dream last night of being chased by a snake. It was aggressively chasing me trying to attack me, but it didn't succeed. I've had similar dreams before, where I was being chased by a snake and from what I remember of dream interpretation, this theme represents a part of my personality being shed. It no longer serves me.
I woke up physically and emotionally lighter. I feel free from something, though I'm not sure what it is just yet.
Thanks for the support friends. I'm with you lion king, in that if I'm carrying around all this crap all the time, it sure as hell can't be beneficial to me. It does not serve me at all!!!
(04-08-2016, 07:43 AM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]I also am glad that I don't consciously experience the pain. Thanks Shannon. My question is, how would you know when you had finished the program?
I know where I intend to be at the end of my run. But what if after getting there, and using the sub for an additional 32 to 64 days to solidify everything, I stop and then realize a week later that I wasn't finished? Or is this scenario not possible?
Honestly, I'm not sure how to know that aside from, you stop using it and stay in a good place. There's no really good way right now for me to let you know you're done. It's designed to keep tunneling down into your past and prompting you to heal things until it's hit day one. How long does that take? No idea. It will change from person to person.
as it stands, it's gradually getting better.
i don't take confrontation too kindly. i'm sensitive
hehehe
the good news is, the negative feelings have largely dissipated, and i'm back in the cheery mood i usually am. copious amounts of coffee
definitely helps. exercise helps.
19 more days til i move to india....
screw it. i might as well just listen to E2 for 90 days...
53 days remaining
time to let it dig deeeeeeeeeeppppp and find the parts of my inner being that are fuqqed up and causing me to behave the way I do.
50
largely lost the desire to post. but i still have a written journal i write in every day, upon awakening and right before going to sleep.
i'm back on nofap, but i'm not counting days. i'm on at least day 10.... i missed this feeling. i'm splitting my energy between 3 women, all of whom are beautiful <3 .
i seem to be using my time more effectively lately. went to the gym 2 days in a row. that's a good deal! i think i'm also protecting myself emotionally, as well.
self love is a beast
47
my friends threw a surprise goodbye party for me... that was very thoughtful of them, but it only made the pain of separation worse. i've made some really good friends here in houston, but i'll have to leave them all behind for a year while i'm gone.
there's a lot more positive stuff happening, and as much as i'm sitting here wanting to write an update for y'all, something's telling me not to. it's like the details of what's happening for me is irrelevant and redundant. if you run this program, you will have your own journey of healing to go through, and even though the situations might be slightly different than mine, the healing process is the same and so there's really nothing worthy of being written here, except that this forum is another place i feel welcomed and at home... so any updates i'm writing now is just to update y'all on what's going on in my life, which is really not what this journal is supposed to be about.
but to be fair, i stopped going on the pheromone forum as well, so i really think it's just me making more valuable use of my time. who knows, it can all change tomorrow. so that's my story and i'm sticking to it.
(03-31-2016, 12:53 AM)Dzemoo Wrote: [ -> ]Perhaps she is losing interest in you because you are running ephra instead of a magnet, on ephra many women lost interest in me. Women that were attached to me before.
okay so after contemplating this might be the case for a while, i conclude that this is not the reason. if anything, a more emotionally healed and stable man is more attractive to women, especially the type of woman she is. a man who has his own emotional needs comfortably taken care of is highly attractive to women in its own right. and it's highly likely that an emotionally healthy man will attract a similarly emotionally healthy woman, based on what i know about "you attract more of who you are"
Hope all is well for you in Houston, I saw that there's massive rain & flooding.