Day 29
Went to one of the best barbers in town to get a new haircut.
I've never been to a barber before. My mom works at a hair salon and she cut my hair but she's not an expert with mens hair. Only expert with womens hair.
I look great and I feel good. It's such a nice haircut and beard fade.
Looks super fresh and felt nice having someone take allot of time and detail cutting my hair/beard. Was like 20 minutes long and I meditated while getting it.
added brunette 3, the one who I really like on facebook. She added me back 20 minutes later.
That's a good sign.
I'm also in a good mood today and dancing to some Trance music.
I admit I smoked weed this week and I think it affected me negatively.
I also drank alchohol (one caesar before work yesterday)
FUK WEED FUK ALCHOHOL. FUCK BITCHES
GET MONEY
I'm feeling motivated about life again.
Day 31
Went to work for a short shift, 4 hours.
Felt good all day, nothing crazy. But something very interesting at the end of the shift.
I heard 3 waitresses outside the lunch room talking and I go out there and I saw the one I'm most interested in about to walk into the bathroom/change room area and she was the one I wanted to talk to most for some reason.
I said "HEY hey hey!!" Very loud and dominant. I didn't think of doing it it just came out like that very loud and dominant/aggressive.
One of the waitresesses said "Hey!" Back sort of loud but not nearly as loud and dominant as mine.
I ignored what she did and just started talking, I said "Hey what's Ed's (my boss) favorite food?, and they said Veggie burger, and I said " Does he have a favorite ice cream?" they asked why?
I said he bought me yam fries today and I wanted to return the favor.
My body language the whole time was literally, I was there for the question/answer and nothing else. My body languaged showed I wasn't there to flirt or mack on them I was literally just wondering that.
Anyways one of them says "Aww you don't have to do that, he's your boss he can treat you!"
and then as they were all walking away and I was walking away they all were saying "He's soooo sweeet!!!" As a group as they were walking away and I walking other direction.
They were all playfully and genuinely sort of yelling "He's so sweet!"
And drydock. The end.
Just kidding, lol
(04-04-2017, 08:24 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]And drydock. The end.
Just kidding, lol
Had to google that to find out what you meant. Lmao!!
Just to make sure there's no confusion... because there are two definitions... Usually, dry dock is where seagoing vessels are built or stored, but it;s a slang reference to a dry penis, otherwise referring to no sex. If a guys says he's "been in dry dock for a while"... he's not getting any.
Day 33
Blonde milf grabbed my arm and touched and also said were hanging out again at the Oscars next week.
She also winked at me again today while walking by.
I'm not really that attracted to her anymore but she's my favorite women there in terms of friendship/compatibility.
She's also vegan and very nice and talkative and playful.
She's in her 30's but I don't know what age. She looks like 24.
The chick I "like" wasn't working today.
Been feeling pretty depressed about my life situation right now, and have lustful desires to make money and grow like I did on AM v6.
It brings out my bad side too, like AM did.
Day 34
Someone triggered in me both consciously and subconsciously 5 hours into work today.
I literally stopped caring, and giving a fuck about these women 100 percent.
No analyzing, no feelings, no caring whatsoever, no desire or urge to talk to them.
I literally turned numb and into a machine. Just worked super hard and intense.
Funny thing is I had major indicators of interest after this, guys walking out of my way, men and women apologizing all the time for things they didn't need to apologize for.
Whatever part of my brain that was needy just dissapeared.
I also feel extremely alpha now and as numb as I did while on AM if not more.
I FEEL GREAT.
I really don't give a fuck about this chicks, not that I don't want to bang them. But I look at them and I look at a male coworker and I see the same thing and feel the same thing.
Just a human being, no pedestal or lust fullness towards them.
There ioi's towards me also don't make me feel good or bad anymore.
I never felt as good as I did at work today ever before.
FUCK YEAH
accidentally listened to 7 loops last night. Didn't become noticeably tired or have any serious resistance at work.
Didn't feel as good as the day prior but felt okay
I quit my job due to serious anger issues with how one of my bosses spoke to me disrespectfully.
Left went home for 45 min. Was typing out a journal on here about how upset I am about not leaving the job but the men and women I met at the job.
Got so upset I would leave them and also felt like I am quitting too soon. So I put my clothes back on went back to work made a bullshit excuse about how my mom called and said she left the stove on so I took a long break.
They believed it instantly and I told them I will work an extra 30 minutes to make up for it.
Worked till 11 30 and came home now and feel good I decided to go back.
when I was home on my "break" I called two other employers and spoke to one and he said to call back tomorrow at noon. For an ironworking job making 16 an hour.
I forgot to mention yesterday when there was a server and cook/kitchen crew meeting in the kitchen during our shift.
I saw blonde milf talking to asian 1 and she pointed at me and it felt like she was saying "That's the one I was talking about"
Could be my imagination but I swear I saw her subtly pointing towards me and trying not to be seen doing it.
90 percent sure.
Also I feel like Brunnete 3 the Vegan I like is Extremely SHY. That's why I've been so unsure around her is because she's so shy it feels like she's not into me. But in other ways I can tell she is into me. Mixed signals due to shyness is what I believe is happening.
She talks to some other people normal voice but when she talks to me she has an extremely shy and quiet voice and there has been points in conversations where it feels like anxiety makes her litterely run away from me mid convo. I didn't realize it before but now I do.
Oh and another server at my work who has a boyfriend and I haven't talked to her too much, but i have a bit. Winked at me while walking by. She seems to get a little flustered by me. But that could just be her personality and shy feminine nature.
Had a dream last night I was with Brunette 3 (the Vegan I like) and we were dating in the dream.
I woke up at 1pm I messaged her on Facebook letting her know how I feel about her in a very alpha and not beta way. I was honest and everything I said was perfect. Couldn't be said better.
I decided i'm going to quit my job this Friday on payday and go back to construction. and that's one of the things I told her.
Day 37
just came back from my works "oscars night" party.
WOW what a night. It's 5 am i just got home.
Lot of shit went down il try and simply as much as possible.
I went into the party slightly nervous about what to expect and how its going to be. I find myself 10 minutes later sitting with Brunette 1 , and a chick that likes me at work who im not interested and and a few other hotties at a table. So the table that I sat at was the "cool kids" table if you will.
I noticed the last two tables at the end of the row were the most beta males and shy people in the company. I intentionally made myself sit somewhere else as to not be labeled as one of those guys. Or shy.
I sat with the "cool kids" and which were like 6 hot chicks and me and another guy.
I saw Brunette 3 checking me out. There was no point in the night where I was sad about her kinda rejecting me yesterday when I opened up to her.
Truth is she told me she's seeing someone else right now (it's not official but she is seeing someone
and she also told me shes moving to toronto soon.
So it was a rejection but as nice as it could get.
but what was interesting was, I saw her looking at me being happy and sexy tonight.
Then later in the night I was taking pictures and I finally saw her in front of me.
We ended up staying together for a good 30 minutes.
We talked very deep, we got to know eachother, I asked about her leaving to Toronoto and her family life and what not. This was the first time she got to see my personality. Because I was so confident and happy and sexy in this moment. I hate small talk but I'm really good at real conversations like the ones we had today.
Anyways.
I told her about my probation and about me and I learned allot about her.
Near the end of the 30 minutes I asked her "Were you lying when you said you are seeing another guy?" She said no.
I then said Well if you ever come back from Toronto single let me know, (I kissed her on the cheek very sexually) and said she's adorable. Then I grabbed her and kissed her on the cheek again right after that. And she said something like "Your too much" and she went and sat down.
But I was alpha as fuck, confident, manly, happy, high self esteem, and true to my intentions.
So not one second did I think I lost her or that I fucked up or she doesn't like me.
I FELT LIKE A FUCKING BOSS.
I literally was so direct with my intentions and stuff. And this is the day after getting technically "rejected" by her. So she got to see I wasn't affected by her rejection and that I was still happy and social and having a good time.
I got to know her really well. We literally were alone for 20-30 minutes where no one else was with us. And I got a picture of us two as well.
For 30 minutes it felt like she was my gf. We were walking around and almost acting like it.
I FELT SO GOOD! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Anyways after that I drove to my house and cabbed to an after party one of the waitressses was having at her house near by.
We get to house its like a small mansion with a hot tub and pool in the back and billiards and stuff. It was an awesome night.
I was super alpha and happy the whole night. No nervousness or anxiety or shyness.
I was playful and fun with all the girls and got to know my bros more as well.
At one point I was in a hot tub with 3 topless chicks from my work, while drinking a beer.
Keep in mind I was breaching probation while doing this so I literally could have gone to jail if I got caught.
I was on such a high, literally unliterally. WOW WHAT A NIGHT.
Drinking a beer with 3 topless beautys.
And everyone in that party was chill as fuck.
One of the funnest partys i've been too..
Anyways when I left I gave brunette 1 a big hug and kiss on the cheek before I left. I was pretty masculine and dominant tonight.
I'm so happy with what DMSI has done for me.
These situations are where I used to have severe anxiety before.
I FUCKING WAS A ROCKSTAR TONIGHT.
One of my bosses asked me to go get something from downstairs and leave the hottub while I was in my towel and almost naked.
So I walked into the party downstairs with a towel on and my shirt off letting my skin/tattoos show,.
It was a pretty sexual and alpha night for me. Definitely must have made good impressions on allot of people. I looked sexy as fuck in my suit.
Also I spoke to my boss that pissed me off the other day and resolved the conflict. I told him he made me really upset but i'm over it and i understand why he got mad.