So that makes me wonder even more what I was crying about? What was my mind accessing? The only dream I remember having involved being in a room of of an AA meeting that I go to every Thursday in real life. I recognized a lot of the men in my dream as being the same people I knew in real life. But In the dream, I was leading the meeting, and trying to conduct it as it usually runs. But about halfway through, people started talking amongst themselves, getting up and walking around the room. It was becoming chaotic. And we weren't able to properly hear the person who was trying to share because of all the crap going on in the background. Sure the dream was stressful, but nothing to cry about.
I guess the clearing went so deep that it blocked even my dream-level consciousness from perceiving it.
Lord I'm so oblivious to the way L has been shit testing me. Now, with the knowledge I have of how heavily I am being shit tested by L, I much rather have fun in out shit testing her, than in passing the test to get laid. LOL. Mischief engaged. This will be fun. I think she will be thrown into such emotional fluster cuck that she won't know how to deal with it, other than intense attraction to me that she will be forced to slip my dipstick in to check the fluid levels.
BTW this is completely out of character for me. I usually would be in a defeatist mindset, even nihilist. Which would kick my resentment towards women into higher gear, in turn messing with my self worth. Whoa there, baby. Clearing tags are REALLY WORKING ON A HUGE anti self cockblock obstacle
Golly. Last night was rough. :/
Woke up sweating and smelly, despite it being freezing temps. In my dream , I could identify 3 separate auras around me that were actively clearing me. They had an orange fiery look to them. I also dreamt about L and her shittesting. I'm ready for the clearing to be over. It's getting intense. I can handle it, of course , but I prefer not having to deal with discomfort haha. I'm itching to run B. I'm pretty sure I'm trying to escape the healing. I've had this itch for 3 days and it's getting stronger and stronger. Somebody stop me!!!!!
Man it's awesome to have dreams like that, you seem pretty self aware. When I sleep since 3.01a started I dont remember a thing, K.O.'d haha
(12-21-2016, 05:48 AM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]Man it's awesome to have dreams like that, you seem pretty self aware. When I sleep since 3.01a started I dont remember a thing, K.O.'d haha
haha, the thing is i'm really not that self aware. this was a fluke, and i think it was relating to how big of an impact last night's mind blowing realization was, that L has been shit testing me in so many ways. The latest of which seemed to be such a shallow attempt at shit testing, as if she's making it so obvious so that I can pass it easily (thereby giving herself a reason to seduce me).
In any case, the first few days of listening to 3.0.1a knocked me out like a baseball bat (cricket bat to you, mate!) to the back of the head. however now, I can now be awake through all 3 loops. It seems like I have more dreams at night when i get my loops in during the day. Not entirely sure though.
I suspect it's a case of "turning the Titanic". The Titanic is cruising along at 22 knots (I think that was it's top speed) and the Captain suddenly gives the order to turn 160 degrees to Starboard, without slowing down.
The strain on the ship and the engine would be enormous at first, but the strain would lessen and the energy demand would too as you get on course. I had the same thing happen.
(12-21-2016, 10:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I suspect it's a case of "turning the Titanic". The Titanic is cruising along at 22 knots (I think that was it's top speed) and the Captain suddenly gives the order to turn 160 degrees to Starboard, without slowing down.
The strain on the ship and the engine would be enormous at first, but the strain would lessen and the energy demand would too as you get on course. I had the same thing happen.
Shannon I don't think I understand what you're referring to using the titanic analogy; can you elaborate please?
(12-21-2016, 10:56 AM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ] (12-21-2016, 10:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I suspect it's a case of "turning the Titanic". The Titanic is cruising along at 22 knots (I think that was it's top speed) and the Captain suddenly gives the order to turn 160 degrees to Starboard, without slowing down.
The strain on the ship and the engine would be enormous at first, but the strain would lessen and the energy demand would too as you get on course. I had the same thing happen.
Shannon I don't think I understand what you're referring to using the titanic analogy; can you elaborate please?
Your path and speed on that path in life is the result of what is known as "probability inertia". This type of inertia results from the fact that we tend to do what we have always done in the past. That inertia results in the speed and direction you are going in life. Once you have achieved a speed and direction that matches your probability inertia, you will expend minimal energy to maintain that speed and heading.
Now if you introduce an influence that suddenly tells you to turn and start traveling much faster and in a completely unrelated direction, and do it NOW, you are going to spend a huge amount of energy to make that happen in the shortest amount of time possible.
When we started using this program, we were all zombified. Exhausted, using caffeine to stay functional. Sometimes, even that wasn't helping. But over time, this has faded. My theory is that we introduced a variable that changed the "ship speed and heading" drastically and demanded it be done in the shortest possible amount of time, and to comply, we expended huge energy to make that happen, which exhausted us in the beginning, and now as we are starting to be on the right heading and are getting up to the right speed, it's less and less energy required.
Okay I get it now. And it sounds as good a theory as any. I can identify with it.
So 3 weeks of A, minus that one random day of B = 20 days of A. Today I ran B. I'm going to run B for a week and re evaluate then.
There was this girl I wanted to see specifically, tonight. We know each other, and exchanged a couple passing conversation before. But I had an inkling that I would be really attracted to her mind, being a female intp. So with that intention, I basically pre-sniped her, knowing she was gonna be there. Well, she ended up being there, as expected. I talked to her briefly, noticed she was receptive to me.
After the meeting, I flirted with her a bit, and she was still receptive. I teased her a little bit and she gave me this soul penetrating gaze. Not because she was mad at me, either. I gotta be honest, the way she gazed into my soul was freaking sexy. And her quiet, reserved personality is even more sexy. I just want to know more about her, like on a deep level.
After our interaction today, and learning that INTP's like to be pursued, I am going to dedicate my efforts to seducing her. This is a first, for me, as I can't say I have been curious/courageous/confident enough to make it a point to pursue anyone since my ex fiance 7 years ago. This must be the B at work! Hey, I know the design goal is to get her to approach me, but if this program can autopilot and auto train me into becoming a natural smooth operator, I'll take it.
not even gonna lie, I say some of the cheesiest things in the world, but the grace and class I say them with makes them a hit.
Did you know you repeated a large chunk of text three times in that post?
(12-21-2016, 08:53 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Did you know you repeated a large chunk of text three times in that post?
My phones paste feature tripped me out. I made the adjustment
I don't know if this is DMSI related or not, but I should mention this anyway.
On Sunday, I deactivated my facebook, and I deleted my dating apps from my phone. if dmsi indeed pushed me to do such a thing, i think it was so that i could take care of my financial situation and make leaps and bounds in this area of my life.
day 2 of 3.0.1B
3rd day in a row waking up exhausted, needing to take modafinil to wake up. woke up sweating this morning, and yesterday. i guess i'm still clearing, despite having run version B. P5?
i had a random release of lubrication from my dick just a few minutes ago, immediately followed by a text message from the hottest girl i know. I wonder what the correlation there is, if any? there have been similar incidents happening which are seemingly coincidence, but i'm noting them down in case they provide statistical value to shannon.
It's entirely possible that you're waking up exhausted because of P3/4/5 on A still running the healing in your mind, and possible that B is simply triggering more resistance, which is very tiring for you to try to do against such a massively powerful program.
(12-22-2016, 01:21 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It's entirely possible that you're waking up exhausted because of P3/4/5 on A still running the healing in your mind, and possible that B is simply triggering more resistance, which is very tiring for you to try to do against such a massively powerful program.
Yeah, that and tied in with only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before? I look like I have been up for a few days, struggling
Okay Shannon, I don't understand why or how the following is happening, and I guess it really doesn't matter whether I understand it or not. Anyway, a conversation about the way women are triggered me into feeling defeated. I felt an insane amount of sadness, and overall felt like the world just came crashing down on me. I don't think it was the conversation that destroyed me so much as just me being quite aware of how much resistance my subconscious is putting up against B.
I didn't have any rage, it went straight into sadness. So ideally, I'll go into script acceptance mode tomorrow or the next day. We shall see.