Being in the place between minimally sexually irresistible and 100% acceptance of the script is a really awkward place to be. Where the sub is working its magic in NSFM, but being left in failure is a hit to the ego. Apparently I am oblivious to social cues, as was pointed out to me. Maybe this can be addressed in 3.1, if it's not already in there.
(01-07-2017, 08:41 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Being in the place between minimally sexually irresistible and 100% acceptance of the script is a really awkward place to be. Where the sub is working its magic in NSFM, but being left in failure is a hit to the ego. Apparently I am oblivious to social cues, as was pointed out to me. Maybe this can be addressed in 3.1, if it's not already in there.
Ah, social cue trouble. Me too.
(01-07-2017, 09:26 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (01-07-2017, 08:41 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Being in the place between minimally sexually irresistible and 100% acceptance of the script is a really awkward place to be. Where the sub is working its magic in NSFM, but being left in failure is a hit to the ego. Apparently I am oblivious to social cues, as was pointed out to me. Maybe this can be addressed in 3.1, if it's not already in there.
Ah, social cue trouble. Me too.
It's really discouraging. Lol. But chin up, right?
Guess I need another brush up on body language. I'm reading a book about ENFP's. It's interesting, so far. But it wasn't written by an ENFP, and therefore I don't think it's as good as it can be, but I'm starting to understand more about how I operate, and I'm also learning that I've been holding onto shame and guilt for not fitting into a certain archetype, when my personality type just doesn't have the capability to fit into these boxes that society has for us.
At least that's empowering. I need to also develop my Si function, which is my inferior function. I bet if I perfect my inferior function, I will intuitively understand social cues.
(01-07-2017, 09:54 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ] (01-07-2017, 09:26 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (01-07-2017, 08:41 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Being in the place between minimally sexually irresistible and 100% acceptance of the script is a really awkward place to be. Where the sub is working its magic in NSFM, but being left in failure is a hit to the ego. Apparently I am oblivious to social cues, as was pointed out to me. Maybe this can be addressed in 3.1, if it's not already in there.
Ah, social cue trouble. Me too.
It's really discouraging. Lol. But chin up, right?
Guess I need another brush up on body language. I'm reading a book about ENFP's. It's interesting, so far. But it wasn't written by an ENFP, and therefore I don't think it's as good as it can be, but I'm starting to understand more about how I operate, and I'm also learning that I've been holding onto shame and guilt for not fitting into a certain archetype, when my personality type just doesn't have the capability to fit into these boxes that society has for us.
At least that's empowering. I need to also develop my Si function, which is my inferior function. I bet if I perfect my inferior function, I will intuitively understand social cues.
They aren't too hard to understand (frown = bad, smile = good) but what to do about them,
especially when trying to be your own man and "not care what other people think"™ is where it gets complicated, at least for me.
We are told that our emotional state is our own responsibility, yet we have to tiptoe around other's because if we don't, there can be dire consequences. Not complaining, just stating a fact.
I think reading social cues or being able to interpret body language is a conscious filter function you can develop. Just like picking up clues about the rest of our environment, like smelling that it's gonna rain or noticing a drop or rise in air pressure before weather changes, noticing a frown or see/hear a dog snarl.
If you concentrate you are easily able to pick them up. It gets more blatant over time. But that does not mean that you have to adapt your behavior accordingly. In and off itself it is just an observation from which you can interpret what state people are in. And the accuracy of your conclusion about that state also gets better over time.
Now, to make this a simple example, there are three ways to (re)act:
1. You don't care about the state others are in and blind out what you have learned about body language and just do what you want to do. You might step onto some toes, but who cares?
2. You observe and interpret body language, know with some experience what state the people around you are in, but still do your thing but are able to avoid stepping onto the toes of the ones around you.
3. You observe and interpret body language, decide to use it to you advantage and decide to experiment with what action from you triggers what reaction in the people that have communicated their mental state to you via BL. You group them and try what action triggers what reaction in obviously closed off people, in obviously open people, obviously DTF people, and so on.
It's completely up to you what you do with what you notice. As the term says it's a language. You can decide practicing to read it or not, become fluent, learn to speak it, translate it into other languages, or use the information you learn from reading to do something with it. Your choice.
On the bright side, I think the universe is conspiring to put me and one of the "married" woman together. I put married in quotes because she just got divorced last week. But I had plans to meet her yesterday at our mutual friends apartment, a mutual friend whom happens to be a master _____ . (I hope the following doesn't break rukes)
After meeting the lady(master) there, and finding out that she was waiting for a year on us both to "be ready to be initiated", everything started spiraling upward. The master kept bragging about me to my mom, who also came with me. Saying things like "you should be so proud of having given birth to this man", "your son is 1 in a million", etc. I knew she genuinely meant it, but her words were seriously wingmanning me with BSM (I'll refer to my divorced friend as Beautiful Single Mother). At one point I had my body rested against hers with no rejection on her part. That's when the master said "wow you two have such a strong connection!" At which point BSM and I exchanged smiles.
Upon leaving master's apartment, it was decided that BSM and I will be meeting 4 times a month to do some "student" work. She's actually driving an hour from her side of town to come pick me up (Houston is massive, yes) in a couple hours so we can do some work at a temple close by. We also have scheduled to meet on Thursday night (volunteer work), and we also have 2 weekends ahead of today which we intend on spending together(leisure), which is really saying a lot considering how packed our schedules are independent of each other amd beint an hour away from each other.
Oh and she has this "friend that's a boy" who lives in cali, & they're always talking to each other. .... but whenever he was mentioned in conversation, he was her "friend". I have a strong feeling about this woman. We've always had a connection that others have explicitly picked up on, but since she was still married, I never made moves.
All I can echo is the words "f*ckin dimsee"
Now if only I can get my internals in order so I can stop cockblockingmyself that'd be great.
I'm nauseated. Either from too much caffeine, or from processing something internally. Likely a combination of both. Having the urge to quit dimsee until 3.1. Internally debating on whether it's due to resistance, or due to wanting to experience the bloom. Wondering what a 32 day run of OF5G would do for me, while Shannon builds dimsee 3.1. Never really gave OF5G the chance it deserved.
Hehehe there's a lot of us being thrown in for a loop at this point in 3.0.1. Our realities are being shattered. I have a hunch it's because we're bending the probability lines so hard, that our physical and mental processing power is just unable to keep up. Hence the rage, the nausea, the isolation. We're all in a state of WTF, and we're only halfway there.
Bring it on.
Try to think of the process in terms of polycosmic reality and not reality bending. In the sense of a vastly more complex sliders kind of thing (remember that SF series?). Makes the picture of us changing 'reality lines' easier to understand and accept
Keep doing what you are doing if you stand behind it and if things get to crazy just take a break from the sub for a few days. I'd say you would experience some turbulence from doing OF5G just to fill the intermission time which is the last thing you'd want if you are in a state like this. Turbulence can be like resistance squared, trust me
Yeah I ended up listening to my loops regardless of how I felt, tho it was on the crappy built in 1st gen Kindle fire speakers. The euphoria kicked in sometime into the track, before the 20 min mark, and said euphoria chipped away at my negativity.but damn, was it hard to wake up this morning. Euphoria is in effect this morning after I destroyed myself by eating a ghost pepper sandwich.
+ a bit of sunifiram I took could have added to the H drip.
Anyway raz, I can understand reality bending but polycosmic reality goes over my head
It's also called many worlds interpretation, amongst other names.
Imagine that there are countless alternate realities similar to our own where only tiny things are different. In our reality a quantum particle has an up-spin and in an alternate reality it has a down-spin. Or here you choose to eat a ghost pepper sandwich, whereas in another reality you choose a cucumber sandwich.
Both exist separately. Let's say our brain is not working like a binary computer but like a quantum computer, where quantum states are superimposed and interfere. Let's now suggest that our mind/brain exists in more than just our reality, it can cross the 'borders' into alternate versions of our reality. So reality bending becomes you switching over to an alternate reality when you make a decision. The subs switch you over to a reality line that is aligned with the decision you made (subconsciously).
You don't bend reality, you enter a different reality. My explanation is of course very very simplistic, but that's the gist of it.
I like your description of it. Thanks for the insight
The way I perceive the concept is best described by reality bending the way Shannon described it. Where we are pushing the quantifiable lines of probability toward achieving something in our favor (sex, in dimsee's case).
I do understand your description tho, and I do vibe with the notion in general, as I do believe in multiple "now's" among various parallel existences. And it is entirely possible that we are transferring to alternate "lines" at such incredible speeds and intensity that we are left disoriented as we "become" the 'self' of that reality.
Whatever the semantics of it may be, I have the intuition that the above mentioned process is what we are all experiencing, at 32-40 days I to the sub; it seems to hit most of us at the same time, and the symptoms are similar but different- Rage, helplessness, anxiety, fear, etc.
Either way, this is one helluva journey! !! I'm feelingthe nausea again, and I'm certain it's not from caffeine. Hehe. I'm being pulled by a semi trailer toward the goal, and my subconscious is kicking and screaming that it cannot resist the sheer force and speed the trailer is towing me. LOLZ.
Time to start my loops now
Shit, that one girl from last week who is naturally beautiful and I thought was 18-19 is in high school. We were flirting with each other in public when I found out. Hahaha. Well at least my opening worked on her. She asked me to program my # in her phone. If she is 18, maybe we will take it somewhere!
Something that happened to Benjamin is what happened to me. Some lady comes up while we were flirting and points at her shirt and says "do you go to that sober high school?"
Girl:yeah I'm a senior
Me thinking to myself : WTF
She also commented on my name being "spicy". And when we each got in our cars (we parked directly in front of each other) we made faces at each other. Our interaction made me realize I enjoy younger women, and that I shouldn't limit myself with my preference in wwomen
(01-09-2017, 07:52 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Shit, that one girl from last week who is naturally beautiful and I thought was 18-19 is in high school. We were flirting with each other in public when I found out. Hahaha. Well at least my opening worked on her. She asked me to program my # in her phone. If she is 18, maybe we will take it somewhere!
Something that happened to Benjamin is what happened to me. Some lady comes up while we were flirting and points at her shirt and says "do you go to that sober high school?"
Girl:yeah I'm a senior
Me thinking to myself : WTF
She also commented on my name being "spicy". And when we each got in our cars (we parked directly in front of each other) we made faces at each other. Our interaction made me realize I enjoy younger women, and that I shouldn't limit myself with my preference in wwomen
I always prefer a woman that is intellectually stimulating over beauty or youth. However, every so often a young woman of legal consenting age catches my eye, stimulates my mind and if the chemistry is there, age is not an issue!!