First point: It is false that ;"that which does not kill you only makes you stronger", at least in some cases. What makes you stronger in response to adversity is your reaction to it being the right reaction to make you stronger.
For example, let's say you get your leg bitten off by a shark and survive. You can choose to be a "shark bite victim", never walk again and go on some sort of social security to support you because you gave up; or you can go get a prosthetic leg, learn to use it and go about your life and even grow stronger in the face of the challenge. It's your choice.
Second point: pain doesn't make you stronger unless you respond to it that way, and it isn't always a reasonable response or even possible. It is how you respond to a challenge that can make you stronger, no matter what that challenge is or how you grow in strength.
Day 43 (3)
(06-03-2019, 07:40 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]First point: It is false that ;"that which does not kill you only makes you stronger", at least in some cases. What makes you stronger in response to adversity is your reaction to it being the right reaction to make you stronger.
For example, let's say you get your leg bitten off by a shark and survive. You can choose to be a "shark bite victim", never walk again and go on some sort of social security to support you because you gave up; or you can go get a prosthetic leg, learn to use it and go about your life and even grow stronger in the face of the challenge. It's your choice.
Second point: pain doesn't make you stronger unless you respond to it that way, and it isn't always a reasonable response or even possible. It is how you respond to a challenge that can make you stronger, no matter what that challenge is or how you grow in strength.
I agree and I think my post was clear enough. At any rate good points Shannon.
I finally finished reading the book on arcane stuff. I was very interesting and possibly the first book on the topic which didn't give me any red lights while reading it. Good, thoughtful read. As it should be. However, to feel now present void I looked through my collection of PDFs I've collected over the years and started reading another random title. It's not stellar to say the least, however it made me think about visualization.
When you read about visualizations from the "gurus" you hear that everything is possible if you thought hard enough and long enough about it. That's BS. Then you hear you have to make visualization as powerful as possible, to make it your reality and whatever you wish will manifest. I find it's somewhat true, but it's prone to "be careful what you wish, you just might get it" syndrome, at least in my case.
At the same time I find that I do a lot of ... let's say subconscious visualizations. And I think this is the secret. Let me give you an example.
My greatest fear is not being provided for. By that I mean going hungry, without warm bed, things like that. It's such a great fear for me that it is the main, if not sole, reason I fear travel. What if I get there and my hotel cancelled reservation? What if I don't make it for the train connection and I'm stranded on the train station? Things like that never come true for me, but the fear is real. Now, when I look at my life I see how I was ALWAYS able to provide everything I needed for myself, either in person or through my parents, friends etc. I am always prepared, never went hungry, never slept on a cold ground.
The secret is I have very powerful will not to experience such conditions. And this just might be secret to visualizations - to modify your own will, so that things which seem impossible now become every day occurrence. The problem is modification of will is not an easy task. I wanted to lose weight all my life and only now, due to LTU, do I have will to do so.
I might play with visualizations in not too distant future. However to do this I need first to meditate very, very hard on the topic of "what I really, truly want". Because there are things I think I want, but it's not the case in reality. Finding a girlfriend is possibly the best case and point. Finding what I want AND have will to find it will not be simple, but it seems like a worthwhile endeavour.
EDIT
While on the topic, I've just read Shannon's post about "becoming method". Link ->
https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Shann...#pid221557
I don't like theory behind this method. I think method is quite sound and might be more than useful, idea of the "multiverse" provides way too many metaphysical problems for me that, if these problems are not addressed, make the theory unconvincing for me.
For me, it makes perfect sense, but I believe we are all the one and infinite creator, so the idea of us experiencing whatever parts of the infinite we focus on, just goes right with those beliefs.
(06-04-2019, 07:33 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]For me, it makes perfect sense, but I believe we are all the one and infinite creator, so the idea of us experiencing whatever parts of the infinite we focus on, just goes right with those beliefs.
Oh, certainly, one is all and all is one. However my problem with idea of multiverse is that it invalidates idea of choice and free will. And even assuming We Are All One and that there is some kind of absolute, there is undoubtedly free will. I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of potential. When you say there other versions of this reality and I am experiencing just one of them it makes my Will pretty meaningless and I consider my Will (for better or worse) my defining feature.
But then again, everything is paradox and there is still a lot I don't understand.
I don't think we fully understand the nature of free will and all that. So I just assume the seeming paradox to be the consequence of me not understanding fully. But yeah, I see what you're saying. I had the same issues with it at first too. Shannon told me I couldn't alter somebody's free will, but I can go into the reality where they make the free will decisions I want them to make and my mind was blown. I think the seeming paradox may just step from our limited understanding.
Quote:Oh, certainly, one is all and all is one. However my problem with idea of multiverse is that it invalidates idea of choice and free will. And even assuming We Are All One and that there is some kind of absolute, there is undoubtedly free will. I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of potential. When you say there other versions of this reality and I am experiencing just one of them it makes my Will pretty meaningless and I consider my Will (for better or worse) my defining feature.
Nothing I said invalidates or even conflicts with free will. It is through free will that this system operates, because it is with free will that you choose, every moment of every day, which possible reality your awareness moves into next. So explain to me how this invalidates or conflicts with free will.
(06-04-2019, 08:59 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:Oh, certainly, one is all and all is one. However my problem with idea of multiverse is that it invalidates idea of choice and free will. And even assuming We Are All One and that there is some kind of absolute, there is undoubtedly free will. I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of potential. When you say there other versions of this reality and I am experiencing just one of them it makes my Will pretty meaningless and I consider my Will (for better or worse) my defining feature.
Nothing I said invalidates or even conflicts with free will. It is through free will that this system operates, because it is with free will that you choose, every moment of every day, which possible reality your awareness moves into next. So explain to me how this invalidates or conflicts with free will.
Ah, OK then. Like I said in my latest post "I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of
potential." I tend to think about idea of multiverse as it is said on stupid documentaries, where every time you make a decision or some quantum mambo jambo universe splits. This, for me, invalidates free will because given choice to go right or left I don't make a choice, simply there are two versions of me, one for each outcome. However, these realities being potential realities and moving to the next one (via your free will or otherwise) is perfectly fine.
Day 44 (0)
My optimist hit a brick wall yesterday as when I was working in the evening my results were crap. I love my job but it's almost unfair when there are million things that can go wrong and you have little in the way of knowing what might have actually gone wrong. Thankfully I applied all my focus on the topic and around 1AM I managed to get everything back in order. I've done the rest of the work I was supposed to do yesterday this morning and after that I went for a walk.
It might be far reaching, but in moments like that I think I almost experience something like inspiration, where I just have to focus and the right ideas come to me. Luck from LTU in action perhaps? In any other circumstances making this crap work would take me days, not one evening.
I'm losing weight left and right still. I said I wanted to slow down but in recent days I eat little, walk much and stress even more. Not counting at least 2kg of water I lost during the today's walk, this week alone I lost 2,5kg. That's way too much for me to be comfortable with. However, I don't feel tired or anything like that. At least not more than usual. So I don't think I'm malnourished or lack calories or anything like that.
What is really scary is what will happen after I get to my weight loss goal. Since I started I'm about 1/3 of the way there, which is amazing. By this rate I'll have my dream weight by the end of summer. However... my weight was always an excuse for me for a number of things. Sports, dating, even not buying new clothes. With this obstacle gone my life will change and I'll have to face my issues that I've been pushing for later all this time when I wanted to lose weight but quite lacked the will to do so.
Now I'm beginning to understand why past me didn't want to lose weight and felt comfortable additional kilograms.
Quote:Ah, OK then. Like I said in my latest post "I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of potential." I tend to think about idea of multiverse as it is said on stupid documentaries, where every time you make a decision or some quantum mambo jambo universe splits. This, for me, invalidates free will because given choice to go right or left I don't make a choice, simply there are two versions of me, one for each outcome. However, these realities being potential realities and moving to the next one (via your free will or otherwise) is perfectly fine.
In the theory where the universe splits, you not making a decision is still a decision, and the result is still a singular branch splitting off. The issue is simply misunderstanding what's happening. Free will is always present, and this is a very important part of how our universe operates.
There are circumstances in which free will is limited, but there is always free will as to how we respond to whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.
Every action you take is a choice at some level, even if that choice is not to act. You cannot escape free will, because without free will, the whole point of the universe collapses.
(06-05-2019, 02:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:Ah, OK then. Like I said in my latest post "I can only see idea of physical (as in "on this plane") multiverse is sense of potential." I tend to think about idea of multiverse as it is said on stupid documentaries, where every time you make a decision or some quantum mambo jambo universe splits. This, for me, invalidates free will because given choice to go right or left I don't make a choice, simply there are two versions of me, one for each outcome. However, these realities being potential realities and moving to the next one (via your free will or otherwise) is perfectly fine.
In the theory where the universe splits, you not making a decision is still a decision, and the result is still a singular branch splitting off. The issue is simply misunderstanding what's happening. Free will is always present, and this is a very important part of how our universe operates.
There are circumstances in which free will is limited, but there is always free will as to how we respond to whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.
Every action you take is a choice at some level, even if that choice is not to act. You cannot escape free will, because without free will, the whole point of the universe collapses.
Thanks Shannon, I need to educate myself more on the topic. The problem with topics like that is if you are not using razor sharp definitions its easy to get false impressions or make some assumptions. At any rate food for thought for sure.
Day 45 (1)
I've done my dues. There is still some work to be done, but these are small pies compared to my last 4 days. I can confidently say that I am prepared for the conference and all I need to do is pack my bags and wake up early hours to catch my train.
Obviously, the stress is still there as I'm on the "stress high" now as I call it. You know, the feeling of unease after large stress that needs to vanish slowly over time. I hate it because it's useless (as if prolonged stress was useful...) but what you gonna do?
I was thinking a little bit about "what I truly want" question and damn, that's a hard question to answer. Whatever I ask myself it I get something like "I want this, but..." or "I need that, however...". Those buts and howevers are the problem - they sabotage when you want something and obscure your true desires either lying underneath your wants and causing the buts.
I will investigate further, I'm having great fun trying to understunt myself and digging through all this stuff.
Day 45 cont.
Today, making good use of my free time, I found (possibly) complete collection of works of William Walker Atkinson. For those who don't know he's a guy Wikipedia attributes "The Kybalion" to, the book that started my, recently renewed, craze with arcane and Hermetic teachings. And I started to wonder... Why is LTU pushing to learn more on the topic? Is there something in LTU that makes one more focused on spiritual? Or do I simply believe this might give me some powerful tools and it will be extremely useful for me if I learn them? Again, this is one of those "why do I want it" questions I'm having and trying my best to answer.
I was thinking about my weight loss as well. Like I said before I'm almost scared of the rate I'm doing this. To be frank I shouldn't be surprised, the walks are doing wonders and I don't remember the last time I bought a beer or pack of chips for a lonesome evening. However I reassured myself when I realized I don't really notice too many changes. I mean I do, but those are like "aha" moments. For example a couple of days ago I looked on my belt I saw that now I wear it 2 holes above where the previous marks are. And in 2 weeks maybe I'll be comfortable going next hole higher! However, I don't notice gradual changes, like my belly does not seem smaller. This means changes are gradual enough. I hope what I said makes sense.
Last thing I want to point out are reactions from my flatmate. I didn't even realize this, but she pointed out that I started to eat healthier. A couple weeks back she was shocked how well my training goes, how hard and regular it is. It's great to know others notice changes in me, even if I cannot see them
Day 46 (1)
Tomorrow I'll be leaving for the conference. As such I think I'll be busy all week attending events, drinking with people and walking through the surrounding countryside. This means I won't be posting for the next week.
I'm optimistic. I've spend time this week well and so I am prepared. The only problem is my ear started to hurt. I'm not sure why, it can be due to any combination of walking a lot and winding myself, damage due to new earphones and smoking more than usual to deal with stress. The pain is not too strong, certainly not strong enough to cause me any distress, simply an annoyance. At any rate I hope it will pass soon and won't cause me any problems in the long run.
No commitments or expectations for the next week. I simply intent to enjoy it and see what happens.
Day 53 (0)
I'm back from the conference. It was... something else. Don't get me wrong, it was great, but lots had happened and I need a day or two to process everything, take some notes and then give you report on what happened. And trust me, it will be worthwhile read.
What I will talk about today is a series of events which may or may not culminate into something interesting. However time might be of the essence so I'm processing it right now, on this very forum. More interesting bits are in bold as I guess sparsely anyone will want to read this whole essay.
So, obviously, there were a couple of nice girls at the conference. One of them caught my particular attention. She was never really alone (it's not entirely true, but at time she was alone I had things to do) but I was passing her often here and there. At one point I remembered I used to try doing "remote arousal" things (with mixed successes) and out of boredom I tried it on her while sitting next to her doing a lecture. She responded very well, her legs were moving like crazy.
Still, nothing really happened. I was thinking about what's going on before sleep while listening to LTU on my headphones. I was thinking about Will and manifestations. I convinced myself that I really, really want to get to know her better. She's pretty and seems nice, but you never know how a person is before you meet them better. I wanted a chance to get to know her. A chance.
Next day there was a banquet, you know, with expensive food, people wearing fancy clothes and some music for dancing. There is more story to it, however me and my group seated near her group. After a dinner and beginning of the party part of the banquet I say she sits alone and is almost crying. I was too ashamed or scared or whatever to go up to her, but I asked my female colleague sitting next to me and who knew her a bit if she knows what's going on with her. We decided to approach her and cheer her up. Quite quickly my colleague left, but I stayed and I talked with that girl. She wouldn't tell me what's wrong, but we talked a little, drunk some wine and went to dance for 2 songs. And she started to smile! I had the balls to approach her and then I managed to cheer her up! WTF!
That would be all great and good, drunk with wine Mystic is playing alpha. I think that, in my entire life, I was only 2 times so much alpha. The first one was when I met my first girlfriend. That was what, 3.5 years ago I believe. And that was BEFORE I was using DMSI. So, only before and after DMSI I am able to have so successes approaching women. Interesting.
Great achievement, but what next? Of course I again started meditating like crazy. The next day (yesterday in fact) I went to the Karaoke party. Normally I wouldn't have gone there. None of my friends was going there. However, I got invitation from yet another girl which, I think, is friends with The Girl (I need to name her something I think...). And when I came to the party guess who was there... The Girl! I know, right? Again, we talked a bit, we drunk some beer. I forced her to come to the dance floor on two occasions I think, she enjoyed it but she seems shy so she wouldn't go out of her way to party.
Here we approach the end of the story. She was making photos and videos of the party. Obviously I asked her to send me those with me. She said she doesn't have facebook or anything like that (cause she deleted it, I admit it impresses me) be she will send me those via email. I have no idea when she sends me those, if ever, but even if the story ends at this very points I still enjoyed the experience with her. At any rate I have an idea what to do when she sends me these videos, chances of success are minuscule but so were before.
The thing is... I got what I wanted. What I really, truly wanted. I targeted a girl, I approached her, I had fun with her. What comes next, friendship, romance? This is the point where I'm not sure if I want it. What's more I don't even know if she has a boyfriend, probably not but who knows why she was crying. I wouldn't ask her as I was trying to be positive and easy-going, something I think I succeeded. On the other hand she live in another city, maybe 4 or 5 hours away. That would mean long-distance relationship, something I was always skeptical about, however it would allow me to "be with someone" with all the perk while staying "alone" with all its perks. Being alone, especially since LTU, made me so much stronger, but a the same time I'm not sure I would do so well if I were in close "let's see each other every day" kind of deal.
Chance is but a name for Law not recognized.
Day 54 (1)
Here are some random thoughts I had about the conference. This list is by no means complete and I'm sure I will either remember or recognize new things in the future. If those happen to be important I'll report on them.
Decline in self-improvement
I wasn't sure how to name this but the idea is that I'm good at keeping my habits when I'm alone, in the safety of my home. When I'm out my habits go down the drain. Not necessarily because I find them useless but rather because they are too difficult to maintain. For example I drunk beer everyday when before I had 3 weeks long no alcohol streak. Also I stopped working out, I smoked without restriction etc. This is not that bad, the occasion dictates me spending my energy on other stuff. The problem arises when I'm back at home - I have to learn the habits again, get back into the phase. Wish me luck on that one
Others' attitudes
There were 3 groups of people (in general at least) with whom I interacted. My current work colleagues, my former colleagues and newly met people. The first and third groups were very friendly and nice towards me. The second on though... The thing is, as I remind myself and you often, I'm an introvert and was even more so in the past. As such I was never the most likable guy on the block. And so, in the past I would often be ignored or at least given little mind about. Now these "popular people" are either ignoring me or are outright hostile. At first I was sad because of this - what have I done to deserve this? But now I get it - I have grown and they feel threatened around me. New current friends and newly met people don't know me from my shy, non assertive side and so they weren't hostile - they knew my value and appreciated it instead of seeing it as a challenge.
Socializing
I will not pretend for a second that I was extroverted during the conference. I wasn't. However I was quite proactive. Just take a look at the story I posted yesterday. I was able to go ahead and approach a girl! What an absolute madman I am! And there were more situations like that, albeit scope was a little bit smaller. A simple fact - I lived in a room with my two colleagues and I was always the last one to come back to the room to go to sleep. I don't think something like that would have happened before, when I would sough the safety of my room as soon as my obligations would have been met.
Day 55 (1)
Sadly, the girl from the conference refused my invitation.
That's bad! I was really hoping something might have worked out of this down the line. The sheer number of coincidences and luck I had around her was astonishing. Maybe I've done something wrong? Maybe I'm reading to much into simple situation?
That's great! Waaaaait, what? The thing is right now, more than anything else, I want peace and quiet. I want to focus on myself, bring myself up to the level. Weight loss, smoking, job, educating myself, NoFap, everything. Any and all of those things suffer when I have to focus on anyone else but myself. And so, I think I ultimately wasn't ready yet and I need still lots of space and time for myself.
Who cares?! What happened happened. I cannot change the past (or can I...
) and I need to focus on the future. I should not worry myself with the things that are beyond my control.