Subliminal Talk

Ate at a restaurant in central Texas run by a family. They were either racist or they were intimidated by my aura -_- i had major disrespect/ghosting. Like they refused to acknowledge my presence. The kid serving us food brought me my food with a disgusted / alarmed look on his face.

But the girl I was there with got awesome service! And her two kids that she had with her are half arabic, and I had my 11 year old sister with us as well. But the disrespect was directed at ME. That was hurtful. Although it could have been because I was in a tank top and all of my tattoos were visible. Idk, Texas small towns haven't taken too kindly to my kind in the past...

My sister has also been disrespectful to me lately...

The girl I was there with was hit HARD by 3.0, but none of the snipers seemed to have affected her today. It's confusing.

Hadn't listened to my loops in about 36 hours, and I'll probably either listen to them tonight or early tomorrow morning. Gonna spend the day with L, and I'm not going to expose her to dimsee anymore.

Two people have told me my voice is getting deeper in the past few days. Physical changes?

My goodness. I had an epic internal battle today, which left me feeling anxious.

L looked into my eyes after we haven't seen each other in a week. She said "you look SAD!"

I was jolted out of a nap by the anxiety. I was day dreaming about when this girl came and sat on my lap during sm3, and then the anxiety hit me. It felt like the Spartans defending against the Egyptians. My subconscious is defending something, knowing it is going to lose, but doubling down anyway and putting up a fight. Resulting in a state of fear and panic. I started welling up in my eyes. This fear and panic came from nowhere, and after doing some writing about it with L, we discovered it has its roots in financial insecurity.

Shannon's words echo in my head. They went something along the lines of "3.1 will cause you to haveto be willing to change EVERYTHING if you are expecting to achieve the goals of the program"....... here we go. I think my financial situation is going to go on a wild ride here in a bit. I may end up quitting my day job in favor of something else. Notably the side job I picked up on week 1 of 3.1, thanks to US/LM.

Not gonna lie I feel like a scared little child right now,

That's a brave move Eternity. You're being willing to consider and allow change, and you're changing leaps and bounds.

You have me a little jealous :-)

Listening to my loops right now. This session and the session before it were spaced 36 hours apart from the last session.

I'm incredibly scared. Fear is permeating my entire being. Seems like my subconscious is putting up an interesting fight. Previously, the cycle has looked something like this: Input -> Rage -> Depression -> Acceptance -> Execution

Now, the cycle is completely different

There's a new component; fear. Fear in the sense that I feel like I'm being closed in on. Almost claustrophobic like. My heart is sinking, and I feel like I'm losing my sense of self. Again. This would be the best visual example of how I feel right now:



3.1 may be a beast, but my subconscious ain't no punk and it's putting up a fight.

Fear, Pain, Worry. 3.1's Trifecta of clearing. WTF am I clearing anyway that has to be so damn difficult to withstand?

There is some serious warfare going on in my head. NO WONDER Shannon recommends a MINIMUM OF 1 MONTH ON VERSION A

Y'all best heed that advice. I'm in tears right now as I'm writing this.

(03-27-2017, 07:03 AM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]3.1 may be a beast, but my subconscious ain't no punk and it's putting up a fight.

This made me laugh out loud

I know you're going through resistance now, but resistance certainly isn't anything new to you.

When you bust out of this round of resistance I'm looking forward to your baller-ass reports of pussy and glory

Sit in the fear and don't fight it man. Really feel it. After a few terrified moments you'll realize that you're still here and still you and it can't touch you. Accepting fear neutralizes it as it feeds on the worry of "what if." But if you grab ahold of it and sit in it you see that it's all illusion because it is now "what is. You can deal with "what is" because it's all baby steps and strength, something you have plenty of.

Hahaha I think I crossed over the hump for this round of growth. Thanks guys.

I feel heaviness in my chest still, but the emotions aren't accompanying the physical sensation, as it was over the past couple of days. This makes me wonder if the anxiety and pain was induced by the sub clearing? If so, shouldn't the emotional shield have protected me from that? I feel fear again just THINKING about the mental rape I endured.

.............. I spoke too soon. Thinking about the fear brought it back, and I feel claustrophobic again. And a sharp pain going through my head. If you look at my head from a birds eye view, the pain is at the 7 o'clock position.

Am I clearing? Resisting? Or what? O_o.

Can't wait for the clearing to be over!!!!!

I'm a moderately well traveled man. My LDS target could be anywhere in the world.

Somewhere in Vietnam, a girl is getting moist thinking about me, not knowing who I am. Considering I deleted all social media, I'm not sure she'll be able to find me either

Hahaha

On a serious note, I switched to B this morning.

Quote:Somewhere in Vietnam, a girl is getting moist thinking about me, not knowing who I am. Considering I deleted all social media, I'm not sure she'll be able to find me either

Don't worry, she will find a way to mail herself to you like a mail order bride.

I'll be honest...when I saw that, I figured Shannon would chastise you for stereotyping and wanting to be PC etc. lmao!

But then, I saw he liked it.

Everything turned out better than expected .

(03-29-2017, 04:12 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]

Quote:Somewhere in Vietnam, a girl is getting moist thinking about me, not knowing who I am. Considering I deleted all social media, I'm not sure she'll be able to find me either

Don't worry, she will find a way to mail herself to you like a mail order bride.

Hahahahahahahahahahahah, thank you for that laugh, sir!!

So today the aura was projecting at full blast while I was at this seminar. I felt the heat emanating from my skin. Mostly in my face area. I drank coffee before the seminar, so that definitely contributes to the aura. I've established before that black coffee helps with my own personal aura, possibly due to a thermogenic effect. Energy drinks do not provide this same boost in aura.

IOI's from the hottest women there? Check. I'm not a foreigner to IOI's, but when the two hottest girls in the room check you out, it's definitely an ego boost. I can sort of see why others say B has more reality shifting than A.

My gut instinct says I should hold off on B until I get a few more days of clearing in, but my head tells me to stick to my decision and run B for a few more days. I'd like some input from you guys on this!

BTW, I channeled kundalini again tonight. Once again, it worked immediately and pumped me up. It certainly also caused a state shift, then I remembered why I wasn't doing it much -- potential conflict with the subs state shifting.

B doesn't have "more reality bending". It just has a focus on less tasks to accomplish at once. While the healing is still going on, the reality bending will not be as prominent on A.