Subliminal Talk

(03-14-2017, 05:16 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-14-2017, 05:04 AM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]I don't want to be involved in the dissolution of a soon to be marriage....

If you really can cause trouble for relationships by being you then there has (a) to be something that is not quite right with the relationship in the first place and (b) your own ethical rules will be put to a test ... which is good, because it will make you grow in enforcing your convictions and beliefs.

Ain't that the truth!!!! Actually, I know for certain blonde girl isn't ready to get married. I know her well enough to know why her last marriage ended up in a stupid situation. I think she said yes this time because she felt obligated to, not because she wants to settle down and get married. Don't get me wrong, the dude is really good to her and I like him very much. But the whole engagement deal seemed more like a formality to me than anything. In a nutshell, it's "we are engaged because we have been dating for 2 years, living together for 1, and this is the next logical step". Even though the "logical steps" are actually indoctrination of societal conditioning, not necessarily what they truly want deep in their hearts.

It's ridiculous. Part of me knows she's gonna end up cheating on him ANYWAY. I really don't want my name branded on that fiasco, but at the same time there's no denying that throughout the ENTIRE time we known each other (we met when I was at stage 3 of AM6 - Jan 2015) there has always been an interesting chemistry between us.

But you're right Raz, it's a test of my personal ethical compass. The implications of getting tied into the mess is not worth the temporary reward of getting my dick wet.

Holy shift. I just experienced quite the intense experience....

While on the phone with L trying to plan something for one of the coming weekends, I mention that I'm going out of town with my 11 year old sister, and a girl and her 2 sons for the night to go crystal hounding. She got supremely jealous, and proceeded to spout so much drama that I was done with it. She called three times and I ignored her calls until she texted "call me i want to talk this through". so we talk it through..

We talk about our bonding experience on saturday, and how when she said "I'm in love with you" on Saturday, that was supposed to mean that we don't date other people. I made this very clear to her. She threatened me with "Things between us can change REAL quick. I can start seeing other people real fast." I genuinely responded back saying "You SHOULD!" The authenticity with which I responded threw her off and she was unable to comprehend wtf just happened. Her threat to see other people didn't work on me. OK so there was a little bit of a gray area as to where we stand as far as what our relationship is. I conceded to that, and agreed that we should make things clear. I told her how I feel about dating other people, and how I will not become exclusive to anyone. Even if it means that me and her are no longer going to be seeing each other. She was offended that I said she should date other people.

I told her why she shouldn't feel offended, and that it's actually my personal belief that I will not be exclusive with her. And if that's what she's looking for, we might as well call it quits right then and there. She asked "are you really willing to risk what we have so that you can see other people?"

While that question really stung, and really made me THINK, I stayed vulnerable and true to myself. I recognized it being a last minute resistance shit test, and rephrased what she said to convey that if we're going to talk about risk, we should talk about the fact that we are not going to be together long term, and we should acknowledge the [b]fact[/b that the nature of our relationship is going to change sooner or later. And with that being the case, I am holding onto my stance that I will be seeing other people, whether she is okay with it or not. If she's not okay with it, I will 100% respect that value of hers and agree to not see her anymore as I do not want her to compromise ANY of her values just to be with me.

That topic was closed when she said "I don't think I can date any other man, considering how close we have gotten. But I guess we are in an open relationship, now. I know you CAN, and I guess I'm now responsible for how I feel if/when another woman comes into the picture."

Did this really happen to me? Did I just successfully create an open relationship? Just like I had planned all along since January? O_O

AND did I ACTUALLY maintain my composure, despite how fukkin BAD it stung to be in the firing lines of a woman's last minute resistance to letting go of the notion of us being exclusive?

F*ckin DIMSEE!

And a major shoutout to those who've helped me along the way on this forum.


edit: oh yeah i forgot my dang headphones at the office so i guess i'm not going to listen to my loops tonight! D:< oh well, time to bloom

(....)

It's 40% dmsi, 30% self mastery, 10% vulnerability and authenticity, and 20% action.

Dmsi wouldn't have been able to do this without the other 60%

You do the right things, and this is the natural result. It's how I always end up with multiple females at once, who all know about each other. In fact I always introduce them to each other intentionally and immediately, so there's no imaginary threat to over blow in their mind. If they want to be with me, they have to be in contact with each other regularly as part of my "we must communicate openly and honestly" rule. Whether that means they talk on the phone or we have a communications meeting.

The first step to having a relationship with more than one woman is to determine that you want it, and you are going to have it, and anything else can fall by the wayside. If you are solid enough in this frame, then you can proceed to step 2.

Which is, she must be familiar enough with you that she values you and a relationship with you enough to accept your decision regarding step #1. If you are high enough value to her, she will eventually decide she is willing to accept your decision to see other people, and that is that.

Pretty simple. But you need to be open, honest, and stand your ground. Timing is very important, but NEVER lie to her and never let her imagine you did.

What style and flavor of open relationship is right for you is up to you. But if you stand your ground and ask for what you want, and then demonstrate sufficient value, you will get what you want.

(03-14-2017, 07:31 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Holy shift...F*ckin DIMSEE!
...snip

eternity, you may want to check out Blackdragon Blog. Some other forum posters have mentioned him. He talks a lot about this exact thing.

Yeah dude, it's actually from his book that I got the idea of what kind of relationship I want with this girl

So I started my loops at work on headphones. I would have used speakers, but I don't know if my colleague can handle the power of 3.1. I'd like to expose him to it tho.

Anyway, I'm feeling an incredible amount of buzzing in my feet that just started when I wrote the last sentence above. I've been feeling a pleasant euphoria all morning, though. I'm trying to figure out whether I want to go to an AA meeting tonight or whether I want to stay in and play xbox. If i go to the AA meeting, I won't get back til 9:45, and my day will have been over. But I will be able to interact with beauties. If I stay home, I'll get to chill and enjoy the company of my sisters and dad. So far, I don't think I want to delude myself into thinking that I'm going to go to an AA meeting for recovery when in reality I'll be going for the women. Not to mention my sister is only in town until next week, and family trumps women any day. It's an interesting paradigm I've been in since 3.0, and I'll describe it below.

There seems to be fear based programming amongst people in AA which attempts to scare you into never leaving the program. I've become aware of this, and I am now at an interesting point in my life where I've drastically reduced the amount of meetings I go to, without negative impact on me. Some of the reasons I kept going to AA meetings was fear that if I stopped going, I'll revert back to an unhealthy way of life. Don't get me wrong, I still do think I need these meetings, the 12 steps, and the fellowship to maintain permanent sobriety. I just do not need it to the level at which I was falsely believing I did.

I'm thoroughly convinced that so long as I continue to maintain healing/clearing throughout the course of my life via subs, permanent sobriety will be a side effect of simply focusing my attention and focus in targeted ways.

</ramble>

Weird.... I all of a sudden feel like the goals of dmsi are a pipe dream and I should have locked down a committed relationship when I had the chance. Why is my mind going back to old beliefs? Doesn't my subC know there's nothing about the past that is worth going back to? O_O what the hell. Lol.

(03-15-2017, 07:07 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Weird.... I all of a sudden feel like the goals of dmsi are a pipe dream and I should have locked down a committed relationship when I had the chance. Why is my mind going back to old beliefs? Doesn't my subC know there's nothing about the past that is worth going back to? O_O what the hell. Lol.

It must be some clearing/healing going on that make you think about these outdated beliefs, just keep going bro !

(03-16-2017, 01:03 AM)NoLimit Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-15-2017, 07:07 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]Weird.... I all of a sudden feel like the goals of dmsi are a pipe dream and I should have locked down a committed relationship when I had the chance. Why is my mind going back to old beliefs? Doesn't my subC know there's nothing about the past that is worth going back to? O_O what the hell. Lol.

It must be some clearing/healing going on that make you think about these outdated beliefs, just keep going bro !

There's a lot of clearing and healing going on! You're right. I have feelings Carman mentions all the time. Are women really worth all the pain I'm enduring? Is it REALLY that big of a deal that I will figuratively climb through hell, to come out on the other side and pat myself on the back for having laid women. Women aren't worth it. Nope.

It helps if I reframe it in my head. I'm gaining in value and status and self worth. It benefits me in far more ways than just having female orbiters. I will be successful in life in general. I will be a man who is a master of himself. All of that which makes me unbelievably irresistible to women as a byproduct.

I do feel like a lone wolf right now tho

(03-16-2017, 05:33 AM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]There's a lot of clearing and healing going on! You're right. I have feelings Carman mentions all the time. Are women really worth all the pain I'm enduring? Is it REALLY that big of a deal that I will figuratively climb through hell, to come out on the other side and pat myself on the back for having laid women. Women aren't worth it. Nope.

For whatever reason, CatMan's having his nickname misspelled in the same exact way on this sub

Not sure if you did it on purpose, tho it doesn't look like it.

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-4698-p...#pid161071

Amazing to see how you guys are trying to resist when I progressively plug the holes that allow for that.

Now it's self defeating beliefs and self talk that everyone is reporting all of a sudden.

Guess it;s time to plug that hole.

(03-16-2017, 05:46 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Amazing to see how you guys are trying to resist when I progressively plug the holes that allow for that.

Now it's self defeating beliefs and self talk that everyone is reporting all of a sudden.

Guess it;s time to plug that hole.

I talked myself into running B. To run away from the clearing. I knew what my mind was doing! Luckily I caught myself and started my loops of A. I'm feeling really insecure this morning. But onwards I go regardless.

;_;


P.S. I mispelled his name on purpose, because he's now CarMan