(05-29-2017, 07:00 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]The clearing is pushing my limits right now. I'm in tears, scared shitless, and just want to throw my headphones off...... I'm hoping to get thru this quickly
(05-29-2017, 07:00 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]The clearing is pushing my limits right now. I'm in tears, scared shitless, and just want to throw my headphones off...... I'm hoping to get thru this quickly
Been there as well, and it's totally fine. You know it'll go away eventually. Chances are you've been there before too.
It is now time to go inside and be kind to yourself, like you are to others. I know that is true because of your past posts on here and because you're a fellow NF
Think about life, be grateful to every single experience you've had, and every single breath you've taken. Cry some more, if there's the need for it, while patting on your back for allowing yourself to do it and confirming that you love yourself. Give your 7-year-old inside you some imaginary hugs as well. You'll start coming to realizations and plans of action to improve your current situation and your future!
It's a tough situation to be in, but it's not permanent. However, you'll need to go through it, for emotional growth! Thank the Universe for giving you the chance for it. In the meantime, it would be a good idea to read/remind yourself about the Universal Laws of Rhythm and Polarity.
man thanks so much blink for that post. it hit home and helped a lot.
on another note, i'm having issues with something. L has an amazing ability to perceive patterns, and she's been recognizing that i've been fighting in my sleep whenever i sleep with the loops playing. last night she even slapped the headphones off me because she was afraid of what the sub was doing to me. she detects some dark stuff happening while i'm sleeping, and she only notices it while i'm listening to the sub. i don't want to explain the dynamic of L and I, but for what it's worth we have been sleeping in the same bed lately.
She's been cool with me using subs for a long time up until now, where she's genuinely afraid of what it's doing to me. I am simply reporting this, and if shannon has any insight or questions on this, it'd be welcome. if not, that's okay too. but i'd prefer if nobody else asks questions or add input on this because i do not want to talk about it.
It's just standard female fuckery shit test.
i was told by two different women in the past 24 hours how i'm known all across town, in a good way.
and houston is no small town ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
the celebrity effect // my social proof is through the roof lately.
i had design goal type experiences 2 weeks ago. and as much as i want to report it, i'm refraining from doing so because i don't want it publicly known. for no reason other than to protect me and my results from subconscious sabotage by people reading this forum.
things are developing on that front though.
i think the clearing from 3.2 is riding a TIDal wave backward in time and hitting me deeply. It's manifesting opportunities to grow and learn that are fuqqing intense and painful. i just hope that the shitty being brought up to the surface isn't going to come back again in the future. I want to be DONE with this behavior. if it's this intense, and hitting me like a ton of bricks, and i'm using a program that clears in real time + a program that's affecting me from the future, i'm REALLY hoping i move past it. for once and for all
I wanna cry and throw in the towel. I want to self destruct, and go on a rampage and fuqq everything up in my path and leave a trail of destruction in its wake..... leaving me penniless on the streets.
Obviously I'm not gonna take action on that, but that's how I feel. I just want to watch the world burn.. f*cking dmsi
I know the feeling. Got it today in fact.
i did cry :/
i sobbed for a few seconds earlier. hit me like a ton of bricks.
i'm listening to 6 loops tonight, back on low volume. for the past week i'd been listening on high volume.
earlier today, i had a heart to heart with a friend. he's a sex addict, and we were talking about how he's been abstinent from sex for 4 months. I related to him a few girls at the party that i'd bang, then proceeded to say that i didn't think i could actually get with them.
he looked at me funny and said "what? did you just say you can't get any of those girls? bro you could pull any girl you wanted. I've seen you in action man, you can get ANY girl. you're saying that because of some fear. probably fear of rejection?"
me: yeah i think so
it was definitely reassuring to hear that a guy who has gotten an absurd amount of pussy in his life to tell me that. although he's coming from a place where sex is an addiction to him XD
now, HALP ME DIMSEEEEEEE.
actually i don't even want women right now. i'd like to steer clear for a while. i wanna be done clearing tho, for real
(06-03-2017, 06:37 PM)eternity Wrote: [ -> ]he looked at me funny and said "what? did you just say you can't get any of those girls? bro you could pull any girl you wanted. I've seen you in action man, you can get ANY girl. you're saying that because of some fear. probably fear of rejection?"
This reminded me of a female friend (she was pretty straight with me) who said something similar to me several years ago. It is good to hear something like that on one side but on the other side it is even more frustrating because you know there is potential but you don't use it.
Cried again today. I listened to 6 loops of A last night. There's too much healing going on. i don't know how much more of this i can take.
How did you arrive at 6 loops?
(06-04-2017, 03:58 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]How did you arrive at 6 loops?
in no logical or precise way did i arrive at 6 loops.
i chose 4 loops previously because i remembber the insane power sourcing when i did 4 loops by accident.
i had a really strong feeling that kicking it up to 6 loops will speed up the healing process. I have a feeling it may be TID from 3.2 rippling backwards in time to help me overcome things in my way so that 3.2 can prioritize the energy sourcing to power the aura and the snipers instead of dedicating so much energy to clearing.
i skipped listening yesterday. i may skip today too, but doing that would give my subC a chance to "run away" from dimsee. I'm already running away from the clearing because it's too damn painful.
Dimsee 3.1 -- Making grown men cry since 06/03/2017
XD XD XD
no but on a serious note, when i was crying this much on 3.0.1, i hit a breakthrough and it was smooth sailing from that point forward.