Subliminal Talk

(08-21-2016, 01:24 PM)Multiworld Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon I want to say thanks for your relentless approach to finding ways to make life better for others, we know you often sacrifice your own life and time for us..thank you for that as well and the icing on top is that your products are great,may riches fall upon you Thanks

Thank you, much appreciated.

@ Shannon. Well, thank you for your explanation on the loops. And just out of curiosity, I went to check the store site again. It still has that inconsistency in the instructions. I don't know if you haven't had a chance to update it, or there was a glitch in the update. I just wanted to let you know as if it is the glitch, then it would be something you would probably want to look at.

A week of break. Well, it's somewhat a shame as I just have this week for a break. But then, I don't actually know if I will actually do something that puts me with bunch of girls, so it may not be a bad thing. (But again, I suppose I can't utilize this time to build on that aura before the class starts.) Still, I'll follow. Anyway, I'll be attending a social event with a bunch of girls in it on Friday. Typically there can be anywhere between 5 to 8 girls and 3 to 4 guys, including me. Last time when I was there, I just began DMSI v2.2, and I didn't notice anything different. I'll only have run one night of DMSI V2.3 (as my last run of DMSI v2.2 was Thursday night, so I will begin DMSI V2.3 this Thursday night.) that perhaps I will notice nothing, but it may yet still give an interesting result.

@ Benjamin. It's interesting that you also had somewhat similar experience. I don't know if that's an influence of aura, or a manifestation of "sexy stuff." I suppose for me at least, if it can be somehow done so that the girls can feel/think that sexiness or the aura of sexiness comes from me and act on it, then it would be great. (Also, hopefully the sub will make me know what to do, instead of being totally clueless or being oblivious.)

Oh guys, do my files' sizes seem correct? 1,048,462kb for FLAC zip file, and 421,593kb for MP3 zip file. And the length of audio seems to be 1 hour and 1 minute. Are these correct, or will I need to download again because the files are corrupt?

(08-21-2016, 09:13 PM)sw72hw Wrote: [ -> ]@ Shannon. Well, thank you for your explanation on the loops. And just out of curiosity, I went to check the store site again. It still has that inconsistency in the instructions. I don't know if you haven't had a chance to update it, or there was a glitch in the update. I just wanted to let you know as if it is the glitch, then it would be something you would probably want to look at.

A week of break. Well, it's somewhat a shame as I just have this week for a break. But then, I don't actually know if I will actually do something that puts me with bunch of girls, so it may not be a bad thing. (But again, I suppose I can't utilize this time to build on that aura before the class starts.) Still, I'll follow. Anyway, I'll be attending a social event with a bunch of girls in it on Friday. Typically there can be anywhere between 5 to 8 girls and 3 to 4 guys, including me. Last time when I was there, I just began DMSI v2.2, and I didn't notice anything different. I'll only have run one night of DMSI V2.3 (as my last run of DMSI v2.2 was Thursday night, so I will begin DMSI V2.3 this Thursday night.) that perhaps I will notice nothing, but it may yet still give an interesting result.

@ Benjamin. It's interesting that you also had somewhat similar experience. I don't know if that's an influence of aura, or a manifestation of "sexy stuff." I suppose for me at least, if it can be somehow done so that the girls can feel/think that sexiness or the aura of sexiness comes from me and act on it, then it would be great. (Also, hopefully the sub will make me know what to do, instead of being totally clueless or being oblivious.)

Oh guys, do my files' sizes seem correct? 1,048,462kb for FLAC zip file, and 421,593kb for MP3 zip file. And the length of audio seems to be 1 hour and 1 minute. Are these correct, or will I need to download again because the files are corrupt?

Use the md5sums to verify the files.

@ Shannon, thanks for the tip. It took me a while to figure out how to use it. Good news though, it turns out that the downloaded files were not corrupt.

Anyway, I was not going to write an update until I actually started DMSI 2.3, but I had some things to report while I was off the DMSI 2.2.

So today must have been 4~5 days off the DMSI 2.2, so I suspected that there would be nothing whatsoever from the sub. In fact, I think I may noticed a few interesting incidences.

I decided to go to a museum, which I wanted to do for last two days, but I got caught up in bureaucratic hassles to deal with. Even though things got a little later than I wanted to be, I left for the museum, as I told myself that "even if I have only 30 minutes to check the museums, I am going there." Nevertheless I didn't have as much time as I wanted.

As usual, I took an uber, and as usual I chatted with the driver. (I find using uber or lyft can be a great source for practicing conversation for me.) The driver looked at the destination, (art gallery/museum) and told me to go check out another museum nearby that only carries "nude" portraits, pictures, anything related nude...... Huh. As far as I am aware there are several art galleries/museums nearby and he told me to go check out the museum/gallery dedicated to nude. (I got curious and checked the place he mentioned, but I couldn't find it. Even more weird.)

Second thing I noticed was that I was checking out whole a lot more on girls, particularly I looked at good looking bums. Yes, I do look at women's face, breasts, waists, butts, and their body in general, but this time it even felt to me that I am even more deliberately looking at them..... felt as if I am looking at it a bit too long. I didn't think or feel about it as much at the time, (felt it a little bit about this), but I now think/feel much more about it as I am reflecting what happened today. After all, it was odd as there were many other fine pieces of arts made by men, but instead I was looking more at arts made by god (maybe perhaps arts of medical doctors, who knows......). (When I put it this way, it's not that odd anymore. LOL.)

I had a huge stare from a baby, really big eyes, and the baby's face and eyes were tracking me down as I was moving around. (Only baby in the museum, so I can't tell if I would have gotten the stares from other babies.)

Two girls (teenagers) giggled just as I passed them, and there really wasn't anything funny or sexy (i.e. nudity) in that room, so I don't know what that was about. Hopefully I didn't look really funny or strange. (I was the only person other than them in the room at the time, so I feel that it had to do with me.)

One last piece of sexy stuff. So I saw this young group in 20s, a guy and two girls. As I moved in the room to look at one of the big portrait and listen to the audio guide, I noticed this girl asking this guy to start pecking/licking hear hand and arm...... (Serious at a museum, sitting on a bench?) Then as I was moving to see other pictures, I noticed that this girl starts to lay on top of her girl friend's lap, while trying to cover her cleavages/breasts. I mean WTH? You shouldn't do that at a museum, taking other's spots, acting all weird. And was there anything sexy there? Well, the portrait was anything but sexy, and it had very dark background and contrast to it......

I don't know if this is due to the sub. Hell, it's hard for me to tell. But I can tell you that I notice something strange like these ever since I started listening to DMSI. I even experienced this even after I stopped listening to it for a few days. And another thing I noticed this is that I start to notice these more in a big crowd setting (like museum, and the food truck event, and etc.) than a medium size setting like restaurant. (I went to a restaurant on Monday for a quick dinner, and noticed nothing.)

Nothing much to report, nor very interesting. In fact, all of these could be nothing. But I thought to report this as I didn't experience things like this before listening to the sub. (Well, except the girls giggling. I remember having quite a bit of incidences like that when I was a teenager and when I was a freshmen/sophomore at a college. Usually from teenagers.)

Interesting stuff.

I'll be starting DMSI V2.3 tonight when I go to sleep. Starting with 7 loops. Let's see if it produces interesting results to report.

So last night I did 7 loops of DMSI V2.3. It's only 2nd one (I accidentally did one round of 3 loops about 6~7 days ago.) so it may be too early to give my experiences, but I'm going to share it anyway. Here is what I sorta did.

1. Tiredness.

I woke up a bit earlier than usual, but I had about 7~8 hours of sleep, so it isn't that short of a sleep, but I nevertheless felt quite tired. Too tired to a point that I was going to go out to museum, but I couldn't. Ended up playing a bit of game instead at my home. (I was going to go to take a nap, but I couldn't do that either, so I just went to kill some time)

2. Irritability,

There were a few things that were irritable. One my apartment placed in a request for a screen that I never placed. I was irritated, which I would normally not have been. I called, and hoped that it would fix things, but the maintenance person came again. I was quite irritated, but nonetheless I treated him right, explained situation, and let him go. Well, there was this social event I went, and I needed to take Uber. First driver came relatively fast, but he was keep going away from my location, so I had to cancel it. Within that few minutes, it became prime time for 75% (Lyft became that way, and Uber's price got jacked up too.) I became quite irritated for this. I would have gotten irritated even under normal situation, but the level of irritability was much higher for this one. Another thing that was irritating was that there were about two Uber drivers waiting, and guess what, people never showed up! They jacked up the prime time! This got me very irritated.

3. A little increase in the level of my taste/standard, and more tolerance.

So there were many more girls than guys at this event. So there were like 3 guys (including me), and 6 girls. Something I noticed is that I noticed my standard went up by 5%. Say some of the girls that I felt were attractive were slightly less attractive than how I thought/felt last time. On the other hand, what was interesting was that the ones I thought were not rather unattractive, felt slightly more attractive today. So the top margin went up, but my tolerance for low level seems to have expanded as well. Interesting. Nevertheless, I still treated them the same.

4. Talking more about things related to sex.

So this happened with the Uber driver who took me to the event. The Uber driver was a black woman, and we talked about social relations, dating and etc. Normally I don't talk about these stuff to random people, but I ended up talking about that. I talked to her about how I don't really have social relations, and let alone I never had a girlfriend. She didn't believe that I had social issues (as the conversations were going rather well) and she especially didn't believe that I never had a girlfriend. Then I told her one and only terrible experience I had with a drunk girl, which is the only experience I had with any girl. (It wasn't even a relation, it was that this random drunk girl came and kissed me and puked in my mouth......) Again, this isn't something I tell any random people, let alone I don't even talk about this to my close family members. So this was very odd.
Then the talk sorta became how for a girl it requires a good look, like good bum, breasts to get numbers, but told her that girls need to have good personalities to be in a relation, otherwise they just have one night stands. Which in turn became talk about one night stand, and how I thought many relationships in Western Hemisphere seem to start from one night stand, and if it is good then it gets a chance to become a real relationship. (This is my persona opinion, so I can be very wrong about it, and I accept that I can be wrong here.)

Okay, all of these are the stuff I don't really talk about with anyone in general. And this was quite interesting that how it turned out, and how it smoothly went.

5. Social event.

Talk was not sexual at all. Girls talked a bit about their friends' wedding and etc. I asked their age, and asked if that is common for them to get married in that age. Girls were having very good time talking with themselves. Including myself, guys didn't connect as well as I thought we could or I wished for more connection, but it felt as if I was connecting better than last time. In fact, it didn't feel that terrible for being quite silent. Another thing to note is that there was a dog at this place, and he was quite friendly. Because of a trauma, I don't handle a dog too well, but today, it was quite fine. The dog was jumping on pretty much everybody's lab, and I certainly had quite a bit of share of mine. I didn't know that holding a dog on my lab and petting it can be so calming and soothing. (The warmth was also a plus.) It was quite rewarding experience.

6. Babies

Okay, so I saw a few babies again today, and every baby stared at me, and some even turned in attempt to grab me. I sorta had this effect in the break between DMSI 2.2 to 2.3, but today it was quite obvious.

7. So at the end, I hung around a bit with other girls to play with the dog a bit. Shortly after we took off, and another girl was also leaving. It was late night, and I didn't feel safe waiting around there for an uber. Besides this girl was walking back to her apt. I offered to walk to her place, and I was going to take an uber. Had some more light talk, talked about some stuff like culture and food. I then learned that she is moving out tomorrow. I offered to help her tomorrow, but it is up to her to contact me. My feeling, she is not going to contact me. Why? I think she's going to be polite. Before I figured out that she was moving out, I told her that I had a plan to go to a museum tomorrow, and she was like if you are at a museum, or going to a museum, don't worry about it. Still, I gave her the number, offering her help if necessary. I'll leave it up to her to make the decision. If she asks for help, great, more social practice. If not, I'll have mass crowd to experiment with, and enjoy myself some art or some other stuff.

And when we arrived, she said she was going to wait for uber with me, (safety concern), and it turned out that there was an uber right out there. Before I requested Uber, I was thirsty, and without thinking I said "well I'm going to request uber, unless you are inviting me for a drink." I didn't have intention or any thought, but come to think of it now, I think I may have sounded more loaded than I thought about. Well, whatever, it's a practice.

8. Uber back.

This time the driver was a dude. Talked whole a lot about some of my academic interests and things like that. He ended up staying in front of my place talking with me for quite a while before getting a request for a pick up. This isn't anything new, as I have had one experience like this before, but I had this experience again, so I thought to share it.

Let's see how things will play in the future. For now, I'll stick with 7 loops and see how it goes.

There really isn't much to report. Just began school, and pretty much getting all the stuff I planned out. The first class was awesome, at least it seems that it will be really good for me as it seems to match much with my interests, and the stuff I have been thinking about for a while.

Today's a bit odd. I don't want to use the word depressed, but lack of better word, perhaps depressed is a best word to use now. I wasn't depressed, but I just pretty much turned out to be depressed. Well, what's going on? Good question. I suppose I can say I may be in philosophical mode, or Buddhist like mode, starting to question and thinking about what I have done so far, thinking about what I want to do, and plan to do, while feeling that it really doesn't matter, doubting its values and etc. (I'm not really describing this stuff well. This state would perhaps be better explained in my language. I find that for certain situations English works better for me while some other situations Korean works better.)

While this is going on, I am also feeling the very strong desire for romance, or something more like being in madly with love, the love that is like destined love. Meeting the love out of no where that can be only explained by destiny. Beautiful, and yet madly in love, feeling loving someone else, while feeling being loved by this person, seems to be what I want at the moment. This is quite funny as I remember having similar feeling (the romantic part), which made me stop listening to Manifest Perfect Sexual Lover (5G). The difference is that this time, I don't feel the need/want to stop the program, but just reminded the stuff I wanted.

Part of me know that finding and being in love like that of the ones in legend, novels, and/or movies, doesn't happen in real life. Nonetheless, that seems to be the one I really want. Is this some random spike of ASD issue? (Alongside with the time to looking back at my life and the future) Whether it is ASD or not, I now that I sometimes get into these type of thinking, which isn't necessarily bad or anything, but what is interesting is that this one seems to be totally coming out from random, without any trigger or stimulating factors. Well, hopefully it gets better tomorrow. It can last days, or just hours. Nonetheless, that's my current thought/feeling.

It's been a while I switched to 2.4 of DMSI.

I have to say there really isn't anything noticeable on women's end except that one girl asked me something. Other than that nothing.

Rather, one thing I notice is rather the feeling of void of emptiness, as if I am losing part of humanity. Interest in forming a relationship whether a friendship or romantic relationship is all time low, desire for sex is also quite low as well.

Other than that no other thing out of ordinary. Perhaps this sorta becoming rather totally detached from other human beings or not feeling the need for forming any sort of relationships may be a significant one.

When talked to the therapist, the response was that this total lack of human connection is perhaps the reason for feeling the void, but it feels different from the way I felt before, so I am having a doubt about that. Is it sub? Perhaps, but I feel that there can be other reasons for it.

Anyway, I am now having a doubt that this sub is working in a way as it should. Perhaps my difference, such as having ASD and other stuff, prevents achieving successful result.

The third paragraph of your report tells me that it is working

Well, I've been on DMSI 2.4 for a while. Have I been keeping up with 5 loops per day everyday? Not really, as I sometimes find that I stay up really late to do the homework, sometimes two nights in a row. In these cases I'd skip subliminal as I don't want to exhaust my mind/mental power. Still I've been on it for a while.

What is the difference? Well, first of all, I think I am becoming more autistic. I am noticing that I react much less with stimuli, much less emotions, less and less things are funny and etc. On the other hand, my sentimentality, and melancholy, or the ability to feel these are still there, so it is interesting. It's like I am becoming me in the past, where I was like I don't get why people find certain things funny. Anyway, that is the first of what I mean by becoming more autistic.

The second part of becoming more autistic is generally becoming less curious or interested in people in general. Not just talking about girls here, but in other guys as well. As I have been getting training in social stuff as part of ASD treatment, and as that is something I lack the most, I had paid more attention to people. Right now, I don't. I am just pretty much ignoring what people say to each other, or what they do. But what's rather funny is that say I hear what they say whether in class, or in their little chit chat with others, I am rather filled with disappointment, on a certain way looking at it even a level of disgust from disappointment. I'm like, Come on, is that really the best you got, and the reason you are in the school is x? Where is the real curiosity to knowledge and truth? Come on, seriously is that the best output you can give out, something that I was already able to think and come up with? I'm noticing that more of these are happening inside my head that not only I lost interest in people, to a certain extent, I am disappointed and have given up on them. This makes me wonder to a point, what is so different about me, or what is so better about me that makes me disappointed in others? What kind of arrogance does it lead to this, or is this disappointment or disgust a genuine product of something else? This, I wonder a bit.

Third, because I am more disappointed in people, because the school work is getting loaded, and because I have involuntarily/subconsciously (I am using the word subconsciously as a word to describe a sense that is opposed to consciously/voluntarily/willingly) decided to divert all my need of human connections from peers, the need for romance into my curiosity and passion to understand the truth, or building my knowledge and understanding of the world, I am pretty much indoors, if not in the class or at a restaurant to eat a meal. I believe this makes it near impossible to detect any differences in women, or any changes in others, as I really don't have social connections. (Not that it was any different. But it's not getting any better)

In the end, I don't know if I should relate my changes to the sub. But if it is sub's doing, I'm going to be very interested to know how the sub will is going to achieve the goal of making me irresistibly sexually attractive to women (gender I'm attracted to). I'm now paying less attention to pop culture, less relatable, less click humor wise, no change to less social opportunities, but most importantly, my standards on women is becoming higher, to a certain level unattainable. (At one point, I had really high standard for women, which I think it was more due to my insecurity, but now unless the woman meets that high standards, I am not attracted or interested. Extremely high level of intelligence, extremely good looks, single, good personality/characteristic --> this combination is hard to find, and let alone for that one to be interested is even more difficult. My logic anyway.) Oh wait, is the sub achieving the objective by making me not have any of the attracted gender that basically I am sexually irresistibly attractive to nobody/nothing? In that sense, then the sub may be achieving its goal in one way or another.

It sounds as if perhaps you are responding by withdrawing from opportunities to make the subliminal succeed, and thereby effectively hiding from those things. Why would that be your response?

(10-03-2016, 07:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It sounds as if perhaps you are responding by withdrawing from opportunities to make the subliminal succeed, and thereby effectively hiding from those things. Why would that be your response?

I don't know if I am necessarily withdrawing from opportunities more than before. Finding social opportunities that I can enjoy, and I can consistently go with right demographics has always been a great struggle for me probably due to ASD and other stuff. And if you are referring this as my withdrawing from opportunities, I don't think I am withdrawing, but rather, I have not been able to work on that issue to get myself more opportunities, and the sub has not succeed in doing it yet.

It's like once school starts, or once I am in the school that is the sole focus that I can and only do that. And once I am done with that, I am too exhausted (as I need to spend much more time than others in reading, and doing stuff, for unknown reasons. (In 2008 when I tested, I remember that my reading speed was 1% from the bottom. Probably improved much since, but still at best I would be average, and grad school reading requires more than average speed to have other stuff going.)). Doing school work at the public venue like library don't work as I get too distracted. (ADD related stuff) So in a certain sense, I suppose I am trapped.

If you are referring to my becoming less interested in others and becoming more detached, disappointed in them, and even disgusted to certain extent, then I suppose you may say I am withdrawing, but I am not doing this voluntarily. It's just what is happening, and I decided to write what I observed about myself.

I don't know if I clarified or clogged myself more.

I think it would be useful for you to take 2-4 weeks off of DMSI and see if there is a noticeable difference, and if so, what it is.