Had interesting dreams tonight, related to my relationship with that smarmy ex of mine somehow.
I also spent the night with a hot chick but without sexy times - I let one of the other course attendees sleep in my hostel room for free because she did not like her dormitory. Honestly, if she wasn't all "my partner and I, blah blah blah" I'd probably have tried to make a move to shag her a bit because she's quite hot (and showed quite a lot of interest in me before getting together with her boyo, with lots of hugs and everything. The huggy-hugs stopped once she got together with some dude, oyy, the story of my life
), but since I'm not in love with her or anything I'm in "encouraging but not pressing" mode, haha. We'll see.
Interstingly, my proverbial morning wood has made a bit of a reappearance in recent days. Same as an increase in libido. Nothing too crazy, but noticeable.
I was feeling sad and frustrated today because two of my applications to audition in a row got ignored (not even a polite "lol nope"), but I got some support from my Interwebz buddies and buddettes and now I feel a little better.
I went to that support group with elements of dance, there's one chick there I'd be interested in, maybe I'll put some moves on her, we'll see how it goes. Meeting's once per week.
Now doing boring translation work I actually regret agreeing to.
But well, it's money, I guess. I gotta keep saving for that DMSI v. Next.
Got a bit of a depressive state yesterday and today but not as harsh as when I was on 5 loops. These usually pass after I get some sleep. There are things that trigger them, too, very interesting. I was also tempted to stop at month 7 (two more weeks to go) but I want to do one more month come hell or high water because I just arrived at the proper number of loops for me (I also had some resistance early on, I was actually tempted to switch programs, made some experiments of running EHPRA together with other things etc., which may have affected the total effectiveness of this run, so - as a form of penance
- I want to do one additional month).
My libido is definitely making a comeback because I've been thinking of putting the moves on various ladies and suchlike.
Oh, I also have a new customer for translation work. It's the new one I've been complaining about.
Just read this very insightful quote from Daddy Sigmund, I can see a relation to my situation and why I ended up in severe psychosis there for a while:
“The man who sees his pursuit of happiness come to nothing in later years can still find consolation in the yield of pleasure of chronic intoxication, or he can embark on the desperate attempt at rebellion seen in a psychosis.” S. Freud, Civil and its Discos
Made plans with a lady friend to go to the beach in the near future. I like her and she's very attractive and sexual, I fully intend to put the moves on her and seduce her into sex, should she be willing (she was one of my more loyal responders when I was DMSIng, ver 3.5, but she was in a committed relationship at the time. Well, now she's not and she's sexing it up in the interim. She's still not over the fact that her committed relationship failed, I'm lending a friendly ear).
Had a good day. Chanced into some nice stuffies and thingies which I procured as a birthday gift to myself, waiting for them to arrive. Had a good session with my analyst, she's encouraging me to pursue my psychoanalytic interests and that "peer support specialist" thing I've been doing the course on.
After thinking it through, I decided I won't be doing an additional month of EHPRA and finish this one up, take a week long break and move on to OGSF. I'm a bit tired of EHPRA by now even though it's still working (last night I had dreams about being attacked by bees [not the bees!
] and being kidnapped by police officers, lol). Can't wait to move on from healing/clearing programs to programs that are more outward oriented. It's time to move onward.
I changed my mind again, I'll be sticking to EHPRA for another month. I just had to make an adjustment, I now know what was tiring me about running this program, so I took action and now I'm more optimistic about the prospect of another month.
Feeling pretty good, had a friutful session with my analyst, discussed psychonalysis, psychosis, James Joyce, *ladies* and such. Going back to singing practice tomorrow.
I order some items for penile health and extension, studies say my approach should work for better erectile strength and potential length increase, so woop-dee-doop, I guess! Also waiting on other items I ordered, like this automated EMS ab stimulator (the full body costume I have is kinda shite, now that I've used it for a while, and very frustrating to use, but I guess "you get what you pay for", a professional one would be north of 10.000 potato which is too rich for my blood) as well as some stuffies and thingies I ordered (but with issues which hopefully I found a workable workaround for, just means I'll wait for them a bit longer). Looking forward to receiving a slew of parcels!
My EMS ab stimulator arrived, it's... somewhat underwhelming, but I'm still going to use it an hour per day to go along with my calisthenics workout to help get rid of belly flab. Oh well. At least it was cheap!
Also my stuffies and thingies are being processed and should be arriving into my grubby little hands within a week. Can't wait! There seems to be some delay with my penile enhancement package, though, I'm gonna have to call the store I ordered from which is always a nuisance.
On the weight-loss front, I finally managed to break through the plateau I was at and now my scales are showing I'm below 98 kg.
10 more kigs to go! Looking better and feeling hunkier day by day, although I am indeed eating very little which sometimes makes me sad because I really like the yum-yum.
Also changed my mind again and despite feeling good with EHPRA, I'll be finishing up this run of 7 months, taking a week-long break and going for OGSF v2. No need to dilly-dally too much, it should keep allowing me make progress on issues EHPRA's working on due to the trauma removal module and OGSF removal.
I made a change to some of my stuffies and thingies, now I feel wonky while I'm at home (I set it up so that it affects me while I'm in my apartment), this should probably pass with time and should be beneficial in the long run.
My parcels with stuffies and thingies and male enhancement apparatus are going to be arriving next week, can't wait!
One more week of EHPRA and then it's onto OGSF. Can't wait too.
Had pretty pleasant dreams last night. Returned to singing practice, was frustrated yesterday, felt better about it today, considering enrolling at a competition (although it does cost, like, 210 Euros, oyy). I also have a lead on an industrial-gothic metal band; I have to prepare some lyrics and record a little bit of vocals as an audition. Hoping they're gonna like it, I'd love to join a band!
I'm glad it's the weekend, I could use some rest from translation jobs. I still have a couple little ones to finish up, oyy. And a couple of invoices to send.