Subliminal Talk

It feels a little like I've been treading the same territory, healing-wise, at least as far as I can tell from my dreams. Hopefully more is being done under the hood. I'm kinda tempted to switch to OGSF, but I'll keep at it with EHPRA for the next 2-3 months.

I have concluded, regarding that conundrum I faced several days ago - the one that caused a bit of a crisis, with the confrontation and all - that I'm having wool being pulled over my eyes and the person in question is contradicting their previous statements, so they're lying about at least one thing. Having said this, I will be removing myself gradually from that friend group, even though they stuck by me after I went through my mental health crisis. Another reason to do so is that lovely ex of mine - she's now not just slandering me to attractive women she sees as competition (to prevent me from finding anyone else, no doubt), she's now also doing it to among other people. And these bozos, they don't see anything untoward about it.

So I guess they can screw. I've been making new friends recently, particularly in that community I joined, so I'm less worried about feelings of loneliness and all that.

Feeling good right now, made some adjustments to my suffies and thingies which should make them more focused and efficient, based on advice I asked for.

I think I desired a little bit of proper, wholesome guidance, which I got (regardless of the particular topic - I received guidance on stuffies and thingies) and now I feel better and more sure of myself. Something may have healed/cleared through as well, I think. Now I'm feeling good and optimistic and more sure of myself.

All my life I was worried I'd end up being a loser - no girlfriend, no friends, no nothing - ever since these bozo from my primary and junior high equivalent schools treated me like lowly crap (mostly because I was overweight). And I did! Better yet, there are people actively wishing me such a fate. Oy, what to do. I'm doing all I can to drag myself out of such a course, but really, not much results TBH as of yet. DMSI made me hopeful on the woman front but it fell a bit short of the goal to date (I was getting obvious, observable result on each version, though, but they led nowhere). Pah.

Feeling a little bit better but also kinda bored (I had some small translation jobs and did my singing practice today, but that's about it, oy, I could use more things to do). I had an interesting dream related to my ex and her ex, lol.

It feels like the program is still working so I'm going to do the full 7 months, plus maybe one month plus. Then it's OGSF. I'm a little bit wary of OGSF because I tried it for a moment, had really strong "pulling" wonky sensation going and very unpleasant feelings (probably because it doesn't have the "pain relief" aspect of EHPRA). But maybe after a run through of EHPRA it won't be that bad, especially the trauma removal module.

Hey man sorry you’re not noticing much in the way of results lately. I recommend going back and trying the default instructions.

I dunno, I'm still getting pretty obvious effects of the program, like f. in. intense dreams, or realizations (like the ones above). I do not get as much "wonky sensations" as I used to, nor am I getting headaches and the like, as well as fewer emotional storms. Wonky sensations may have been indicative of resistance of some sort, I dunno (headaches definitely).

I reread post 158 and it seems I might have misinterpreted what you had said.

You said: “ there are people actively wishing me such a fate. Oy, what to do. I'm doing all I can to drag myself out of such a course, but really, not much results TBH as of yet.”

And I had assumed that you meant from subs. I’m guessing you meant avoiding the outcome of being a “loser” in society’s eyes. I get what you mean though, cause I have a hard time taking consistent action towards my goals as well. E6 seems to be dealing with stuff that’s helping that though.

I still suggest trying default instructions for 2 cycles to “recalibrate” and see whats up. I’m glad I started giving more credit to the default instructions in recent time. But if you’re satisfied with where things are going then continue doing what’s getting you results.

Yeah, it was more about that, not being a "loser" in society's eyes, not the sub. Not much results on that front, despite all my efforts!

Thanks for taking an interest, though.

Had more vivid dreams, feels like they're moving somewhere, I don't know which direction to be exact, though. I am in a bad mood today because my singing practice did not go well which puts me down and makes me feel like a loser-boi. But I slept it off, tomorrow's another day.

EDIT

So my sub-plan is now like this: finishing up 7-8 months of EHPRA, then 6 months of OGSF v. new (I did not get much results on OGSF v. previous with a full run through but that's probably because I'm an outlier and factory settings don't cut it for me), then another go at OED (so 6 months as well) and it's either USLM or some new program that's released in 6G! (Hopefully DMSI, though I wouldn't mind trying Absolute Self Confidence either).

Feeling better today because my singing practice went very well, lol. Also recorded a karaoke-demo track for band auditions and it sounds pretty good, awaiting response. When sleeping, I had dreams as usual, I don't remember too much of them now but they were pretty vivid. Finally gonna get paid for my last two months' worth of translation work which is nice because I've been spending money like crazy on subs and stuffies and thingies (I don't have many other expenses, though, haha).

Going to a metal gig on Saturday, I might try running ESPA while I'm there and look for results.

I made a slight alteration to the volume and I had very vivid dreams again today (like similar territory, but with different actcors, which was very interesting). My stuffies and thingies practice is also stabilizing, now I have a proper regimen and will keep at it for about a year or so and we'll see what results I get.

Otherwise, feeling pretty good, started to lose weight again and managed to get back on track with my diet.

Just had a very interesting - and important - dream dealing with fear (and I actually woke up from it with a start) and some things that came up from my unconscious while I was in psychosis. It seems like I finally arrived at the correct volume and number of loops for me to work with this program (hence why I think I'll stay on it for a month more than the 7 months in instructions). The volume is -25dB in Foobar on my laptop, hybrid, the number of loops is SEKRIT. (I don't want to give people too many ideas).

Seems like progress.

Went to that metal gig, it was okay, nothing earth-shattering this time. I hadn't been to one on my own lonesome in quite some time, though, usually I'd go with a friend but I'm distancing myself from the guy.

I actually ran ESPA but got no hits that I could see.

Otherwise, EHPRAing is proceeding as usual, some more thoughts and thingies and stufies and whatevers.