Perhaps it's better to have just one umbrella journal instead of a separate journal.
So based on my discovery of astrology and how scarily accurate it can potentially be, I am switching gears with DMSI for now and starting E2 and then AM6. The rationale behind this is to clear the mental and emotional garbage inside my mind then build a solid foundation of AM6.
I am really bad with quitting subs early but I'm going to see how the Anti-switching feature will stack up.
The goal would be to either reach the mythical "Day one" or 3-6 months. Whichever is comes first.
3 to 6 months will come first.
(10-24-2016, 07:07 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]3 to 6 months will come first.
Well I'll have to see by the 3 month mark... if I even get to that point.
What is day one? Im asking because I'm a bit confused. Is it the day where im completely clear of emotional pain/trauma and the Auto-healing modules are relatively permanent.
E2 Day 1
Ran the sub for roughly 6ish loops.
In English Class today, I was tasked with creating a fictional story with the idea of a strange family dynamics. I decided to write about a family with an ascendent alpha for a father. I started the story by introducing the son in the story and how he seemed like a loner. I realized I was starting to talk about myself and tried to flesh out conversation between me and him.
I asked him about why he was a loner in the classroom and he explained to me that he simply couldnt connect with the classmates in a deeper level. He had friends outside of the classroom in where he felt closer to. This basically reflected my situation in my school.
I started to really think about why is that? and I realized it is because I needed a deeper connection with others people. "I dont give a S*** about your major after the 7th time and other shallow. I want to know the human in front of me, what he/she loves to do, what brings him/her joy etc". Hell, after class, me, a classmate, and a professor had a conversation about the worst date they had expereinced. We shared some laughs about it but its that type of interaction I crave.
I am thinking of creating a deepaf portrait about it. Thats just me and how I generate photography ideas.
(10-24-2016, 07:07 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]3 to 6 months will come first.
(10-25-2016, 08:17 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Well I'll have to see by the 3 month mark... if I even get to that point.
What is day one? Im asking because I'm a bit confused. Is it the day where im completely clear of emotional pain/trauma and the Auto-healing modules are relatively permanent.
E2 is addictive. That said... I only did 44 days. Just forgot to turn it on and took a month off from subliminals. No, I didn't reach day one. From my understanding, should anyone ever reach day one... there will always be new issues coming into your life to overcome.
(10-25-2016, 11:46 AM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-24-2016, 07:07 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]3 to 6 months will come first.
(10-25-2016, 08:17 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Well I'll have to see by the 3 month mark... if I even get to that point.
What is day one? Im asking because I'm a bit confused. Is it the day where im completely clear of emotional pain/trauma and the Auto-healing modules are relatively permanent.
E2 is addictive. That said... I only did 44 days. Just forgot to turn it on and took a month off from subliminals. No, I didn't reach day one. From my understanding, should anyone ever reach day one... there will always be new issues coming into your life to overcome.
I hope so because I'm already feeling impatient LOL. While we always will encounter more problems, we can hopefully find ourselves with better problems than the last.
(10-25-2016, 11:57 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]I hope so because I'm already feeling impatient LOL. While we always will encounter more problems, we can hopefully find ourselves with better problems than the last.
LOL, you are going to become increasingly impatient my friend!!
E2 will do things that you won't feel, won't notice, and you'll be wondering wtf are you running it in the first place. Then...
Then, one day in your future you will be around people that knew you before E2 and say something like, "WOW, you've really changed!! I can't believe you said that! or I can't believe you did that!
Until then... you won't even know it's working, LOL LOL LOL
(10-25-2016, 12:08 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (10-25-2016, 11:57 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]I hope so because I'm already feeling impatient LOL. While we always will encounter more problems, we can hopefully find ourselves with better problems than the last.
LOL, you are going to become increasingly impatient my friend!!
E2 will do things that you won't feel, won't notice, and you'll be wondering wtf are you running it in the first place. Then...
Then, one day in your future you will be around people that knew you before E2 and say something like, "WOW, you've really changed!! I can't believe you said that! or I can't believe you did that!
Until then... you won't even know it's working, LOL LOL LOL
Wow that is would be tough lol. I did notice some change when I ran E2 for a week then switched over to V2.4. Noticeably less in my head and I approached girls. That was the funny part. Ran two versions DMSI and yet it was E2 that helped me approach girls. Even if it's for stupid stuff I didn't care at the time.
Day 2
The day was uneventful in terms of external stuff.
Internally, I feel whispers of my incomplete AM programming. Desire to be more self confident, dominant, and driven. It's almost like small tinders you have to baby it so it can grow. What sparked it was in a communications class. My professor was talking about a mock interview assigned next week and I immediately want to "downtalk" everyone down to the ground or borderline domineering. Clearly not the best thing but it's present.
Day 3
Tried to let go of my insecurities and have fun in a dance workshop. I did fairly well because I managed to get out if my head and have fun. Progress but it does reveal that I rather do something than talk out if fear. Not out of prefernece. hopefully I want to get to the point where I can do both.
My gym buddy wanted to change the program she was on. It would mean I wouldn't have someone to drive me to the gym and I was opposing it from an selfish point of view. It took me q but to realize it and there was some resistance to change my point of view and thus my actions. I might not have the luxury of someone driving me to the gym and back but it will be better for her.
Day 4
E2 is starting to tackle the deeper stuff and the only reason why I know that is it comes up in my dreams. As a minority, I felt inferior in some aspects and I felt hate too. I'm glad E2 is beginning to tackle this part of it because it will hopefully dissolve the victim mentality and in part regaining my confidence.
Had a beer with some of my good friends I made this semester but the thing is... One of them mentioned a girl he is becoming close to in the club I volunteer with them and it just , for the leak of a better word, triggered something in me. Deep seated jealousy, hatred of some kind, and I felt absolutely sick and in my head for the rest of my time there. I had to leave and currently stuff feeling it plus the alcohol is taking hold.
I'm mentally expressing all the frustration inside my mind. The first response was to take action and change myself. Next is frustration about my current situation and the futility of my own actions to move past it and the last is contemplating on ending my life. I need E2 more than ever. I just wished I can just have a massive purge and be done with it.
(10-28-2016, 07:31 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]I'm mentally expressing all the frustration inside my mind. The first response was to take action and change myself. Next is frustration about my current situation and the futility of my own actions to move past it and the last is contemplating on ending my life. I need E2 more than ever. I just wished I can just have a massive purge and be done with it.
It's taken years to get where you are now.
Fortunately, E2 will turn those years into months and eventually into days!!
Recently SargeMaximus recommended this book:
It's Not About the Shark: How to Solve Unsolvable Problems by David Niven PhD
https://smile.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-S...+the+shark
It teaches the reader how to
FOCUS on the SOLUTION...
(10-28-2016, 05:20 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 4
E2 is starting to tackle the deeper stuff and the only reason why I know that is it comes up in my dreams. As a minority, I felt inferior in some aspects and I felt hate too. I'm glad E2 is beginning to tackle this part of it because it will hopefully dissolve the victim mentality and in part regaining my confidence.
One of the subs included in E2 is Overcome The Victim Mentality. No worries, bro!
(10-28-2016, 07:31 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Had a beer with some of my good friends I made this semester but the thing is... One of them mentioned a girl he is becoming close to in the club I volunteer with them and it just , for the leak of a better word, triggered something in me. Deep seated jealousy, hatred of some kind, and I felt absolutely sick and in my head for the rest of my time there. I had to leave and currently stuff feeling it plus the alcohol is taking hold.
I'm mentally expressing all the frustration inside my mind. The first response was to take action and change myself. Next is frustration about my current situation and the futility of my own actions to move past it and the last is contemplating on ending my life. I need E2 more than ever. I just wished I can just have a massive purge and be done with it.
I know I'm not saying anything different or nothing you haven't heard before, but the fact that you have been able to isolate the feeling is a big step forward. Knowing that something burns allows you to better deal with it and move from it.
Time and patience heals all wounds. And if you need someone to talk to, reach out to the members at this forum. We're all trying to get through this together, so, you're never alone.
Remember that.
