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(AM6 )

Registration Date: 11-17-2015
Date of Birth: Not Specified
Local Time: 07-10-2020 at 05:44 PM
Status: Offline

Aventus45's Forum Info
Joined: 11-17-2015
Last Visit: Yesterday, 07:03 PM
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Aventus AM6 Journal 1
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Aventus AM6 Journal Men's Journals
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Wow it’s been a couple of years. This place hasn’t changed much.

Alpha Male Stage 1 day 6
There has been a ton of dreams so far. A lot of it involved clearing some form of insecurities that I am yet to be aware of. Last nights dreams to seem to be an ever evolving chase/adventure thought dimensions and piping that initially started as sort of like a class of people and suddenly alone.  Being forced to evolve and become ruthless like I was in a video game. All seems to be running from something. 

I was on a massive pornography binge during this quarantine and even before it. Just endlessly consuming porn and storing it. After running this program for about 6 days, I don’t feel that urge anymore. It physically doesn’t do anything for me anymore so I stopped for now. Who knows how long that’s going to last? I hope it does last as well as fix and improve many other things. 

The shame attacks, suddenly recoiling and feeling an intense feeling of shame, have been relatively often but I haven’t kept track of it till now.

The Why of deciding to use AM6 again. 
1. I realized I actually haven’t finished an entire run of AM6. I usually stopped at state 5 the last I remembered. I’m telling myself I should at least finish it for myself.

2. I realized I have nothing to offer to Women in many senses of the word. I don’t make that much money, I’m not even confident in anything and in my own photography. That ***** up my self esteem and added some weight to my depression.

3. Eventually I want to get to Sex magnet 3.0 and run that. See what the hype was about for the magnet series. In the past I was fully obsessed with the lack of intimacy I had and focused on DMSI series. Until it’s finished, I need to build up myself with AM and maybe SM. 

4.I missed my last summers self, I was super confident and bold but I lost it after not being attractive enough for some women I’m into. Especially with some scotch in me. Far more confident that my looks would dictate. That was a nice time and would be nicer if it was built on a solid foundation.