Day 11
Woke up today in a mild rage. More so the feeling of mild anger and losing some attachment to women. I was trying to hold on to the neediness because I thought by letting go of it I would turn into those murderers that go to school and kill the girls they liked or some crazy stuff like that.
Starting to come to terms with being an INFP and the emotional intensities that come along with it.
My bluntness came out. It's very rough but it is also to the point.
day 12
Used the hybrid track, I woke up around the time the sub ended. Im feeling needy yet not needy on the topic of women.
I usually hover around 195's but i checked my weight again and I'm 186. DMSI is doing it's thing i suppose?
Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
I Was on the DMSI page and rereading the sales page. Look up and I see this latina girl with her winter jacket hood on sitting diagnally from me. Her body faced away from me but she had this intense stare at me. I immediately looked away as in instinct.
The look, I've gotten before also.
I hope the latina girl looked better than in that photo haha
(12-13-2016, 01:02 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
Do you use guided meditations or just by yourself?
(12-13-2016, 09:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 01:02 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
Do you use guided meditations or just by yourself?
by myself. Usually starts with a body scan, then proximity scan, and lastly focusing on my breath.
(12-14-2016, 07:55 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 09:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 01:02 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
Do you use guided meditations or just by yourself?
by myself. Usually starts with a body scan, then proximity scan, and lastly focusing on my breath.
Cool. I have a guided meditation program that follows the exact same steps is why I asked.
(12-14-2016, 08:02 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2016, 07:55 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 09:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 01:02 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
Do you use guided meditations or just by yourself?
by myself. Usually starts with a body scan, then proximity scan, and lastly focusing on my breath.
Cool. I have a guided meditation program that follows the exact same steps is why I asked.
Calm? I use it to track my meditations.
Day 14
Version B day 1
At first I woke up feeling like death and just super tired.
When the Asian girls in my class started presenting whatever for the class, I felt this monster of a primal drive coming up from my dick and up my body. There was this one asian girl that always been shooting IOIs at me back at v2.4.
Quote:-Just finished one of my classes, the entire class was basically talking to the girl from yesterday. If Iois was a floating emoji, she would have flooded the room with it. So we started like neural but then in quickly escalates to a tease fest initiated by me. I made everything about her because she was very quirky and easy to tease. Everytime she looks into my eyes it was with a smile and would look away. Some of the teases made her expression change as if it held enormous weight. I was subconsciously instructed to look at her eyes. Which I saw very dilated pupils.
-She hinted that she was single(I think) by loosely implying why her and her bf broke up.
-Soon enough she asked if I had this one IM app, which I didn't, instead I asked her for her number. She rejected it and the rejection slid off me like a misunderstanding. Planning to install that app now.
When she came along, I immediately was planning how it was going to go down but when that didnt work I didnt feel bad about it.
-Sexual feelings that are almost primal in nature is immediately apparent when I see an attractive woman. its different from version A where I felt nothing when I see them.
-Natural Seduction seemed to be kicking in quickly albiet not as smooth as I would like it to be.
(12-14-2016, 08:08 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2016, 08:02 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-14-2016, 07:55 AM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 09:13 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (12-13-2016, 01:02 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Random thought: imagine the whole clearing modules are engaging in a huge dark souls battle and I can't feel it.
That being said. I started meditating again because why not? As I was going through the body scan, I was hit with a wave of screaming in my mind. basically it was screaming out of neediness. it threw me off and when I was trying to get back into the mediation session, the voice kept going on in the background for a while before it disappeared. after that then I had the calmest meditation ever.
Do you use guided meditations or just by yourself?
by myself. Usually starts with a body scan, then proximity scan, and lastly focusing on my breath.
Cool. I have a guided meditation program that follows the exact same steps is why I asked.
Calm? I use it to track my meditations.
No, it's called "Headspace".