Had a conversation with C after a few hours of running version A. So we were having a conversation about some random shit but I felt like it was getting stale really quickly. So I wanted to be more direct with her in text and I was terrified of it. So I continued with the conversation for a bit longer until I couldn't handle it anymore.
[attachment=446]
And I done it. I feel terrified because I haven't been this direct at all. I was thinking that I went too far with her and she would reject me..... And she didn't. Looks like i might be fuckin next week
Day 32 (missed 2 days)
Starting B again to see if there's a marked improvement in results after healing.
Day 33
Second day of version B, no anger but I did experience different degrees of being tired. It can also be from my workouts as well.
Today at church I didn't have much contact with C because of the sheer amount of people. I think version B helped me become more of a tease to her. There were two instances where I kept her wanting.
First is when one of my friends was being tickled and I said something about his ticklish point was being taken advantage of. I look at her and said
Me:-semi serious tone- if you do that to me then I will take off your boot and tickle your feet.
C: well it's a good thing I wore 2 layers of socks.
Me: I will take both of them off and tickle you.
Then I stood up and, while she is sitting, I brushed her hair in a way that tilts her head upwards. Her eyes looked excited but I left her hanging. I started to go about my own way and talked to my friends.
The second time was when most of them left including the pastor. I don't remember what we talked about but did the same thing but let my hand travel to her chin as if I'm going to kiss her but I left again to talk with the rest of them.
Later, as we were preparing to leave, we both went to separate bathrooms and lo and behold she was waiting for me to get out of mine. She pounced me but I move her away from the camera then i proceeded to makeout with her. As we are making out, my hands knew where to go and my lips traveled down to her neck. She started breathing really heavily but I stopped her because we are in a high traffic area of the chruch.
When we reached the exit, C and I had to get past a dark section. On instinct, I look for cameras in the small section. She see this and gets confused but realizes what I'm doing. Too late for her because I pounced on her before she realizes. I simaltaniously grabbed her waist and pulled her close while pushing her against the wall. For a second that animal/warrior side took over and I kissed her. My caring friend side kicked in and overrided that warrior me right after. She seems to love the warrior side as much as I do. She sees it and I see it. Time for B to bring it out
So Version A did clear enough for me to execute the NS and Self training modules. I'm starting to doubt the aura but the results with C proves otherwise. I just haven't seen other people being attracted to me. Soon enough Broventus soon enough.
Hahaha awesome!
You can bet she was really excited from that, girls love that shit.
Aura confirmed: she admitted that she has fantasies about me.
Edit: she's fantasizing about doing sexual acts to me. Had to be more descriptive for Shannon
Day 34
It feels like I'm in the weird transition point between two different versions of me. I have moments where I just give in to my impulses and in those times I am more dominant.
Afterwards I go back into being normal or recoil by the facts that I actually said that.
[attachment=447]
But that doesn't mean much until I fuck her. That day is coming.
edit:I started calling her my pet now hah
(01-05-2017, 08:11 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 33
Second day of version B, no anger but I did experience different degrees of being tired. It can also be from my workouts as well.
Today at church I didn't have much contact with C because of the sheer amount of people. I think version B helped me become more of a tease to her. There were two instances where I kept her wanting.
First is when one of my friends was being tickled and I said something about his ticklish point was being taken advantage of. I look at her and said
Me:-semi serious tone- if you do that to me then I will take off your boot and tickle your feet.
C: well it's a good thing I wore 2 layers of socks.
Me: I will take both of them off and tickle you.
Then I stood up and, while she is sitting, I brushed her hair in a way that tilts her head upwards. Her eyes looked excited but I left her hanging. I started to go about my own way and talked to my friends.
The second time was when most of them left including the pastor. I don't remember what we talked about but did the same thing but let my hand travel to her chin as if I'm going to kiss her but I left again to talk with the rest of them.
Later, as we were preparing to leave, we both went to separate bathrooms and lo and behold she was waiting for me to get out of mine. She pounced me but I move her away from the camera then i proceeded to makeout with her. As we are making out, my hands knew where to go and my lips traveled down to her neck. She started breathing really heavily but I stopped her because we are in a high traffic area of the chruch.
When we reached the exit, C and I had to get past a dark section. On instinct, I look for cameras in the small section. She see this and gets confused but realizes what I'm doing. Too late for her because I pounced on her before she realizes. I simaltaniously grabbed her waist and pulled her close while pushing her against the wall. For a second that animal/warrior side took over and I kissed her. My caring friend side kicked in and overrided that warrior me right after. She seems to love the warrior side as much as I do. She sees it and I see it. Time for B to bring it out
So Version A did clear enough for me to execute the NS and Self training modules. I'm starting to doubt the aura but the results with C proves otherwise. I just haven't seen other people being attracted to me. Soon enough Broventus soon enough.
Yoooo great progress bro, can't believe i missed your journal!
Anyhows this post reminds me of a girl i liked 2 months ago, she was a DMSI V2.4 manifestation.
As she had the exact same personality and charm as a girl i loved 1 year ago ( beta love anyways )
This girl was being sniped throughout V2.4 and V2.5 and i called her swe spanish girl.
She was very close friend with my dorm roomate and she hung out with him all the time, before she got toghether with him now because i didn't pull the trigger. One time i had her against the wall ( full auto pilot mode ) with my forehead pressed against hers infront of my roomate who was toghether with her at the time ( before i knew it ) but i hesitated to kiss her. I remeber her eyes were wide as someone on mdma.
A part of me is happy a did not kiss her since that would get us both in trouble since they were toghether and since that would have destroyed my friendship with him.
Another part of me is curious of what would have happened if i did, im sure he would have interviend and called us both names or just got mad and left. A person sniped with even V2.5 which has 250 to 300% less quirples than V3.01 is unable to resist even if that person was toghether with someone and thah person just so happened to be watching the entire thing. F##King DMSI!!!!!
(01-06-2017, 05:52 PM)Illumi Wrote: [ -> ] (01-05-2017, 08:11 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 33
Second day of version B, no anger but I did experience different degrees of being tired. It can also be from my workouts as well.
Today at church I didn't have much contact with C because of the sheer amount of people. I think version B helped me become more of a tease to her. There were two instances where I kept her wanting.
First is when one of my friends was being tickled and I said something about his ticklish point was being taken advantage of. I look at her and said
Me:-semi serious tone- if you do that to me then I will take off your boot and tickle your feet.
C: well it's a good thing I wore 2 layers of socks.
Me: I will take both of them off and tickle you.
Then I stood up and, while she is sitting, I brushed her hair in a way that tilts her head upwards. Her eyes looked excited but I left her hanging. I started to go about my own way and talked to my friends.
The second time was when most of them left including the pastor. I don't remember what we talked about but did the same thing but let my hand travel to her chin as if I'm going to kiss her but I left again to talk with the rest of them.
Later, as we were preparing to leave, we both went to separate bathrooms and lo and behold she was waiting for me to get out of mine. She pounced me but I move her away from the camera then i proceeded to makeout with her. As we are making out, my hands knew where to go and my lips traveled down to her neck. She started breathing really heavily but I stopped her because we are in a high traffic area of the chruch.
When we reached the exit, C and I had to get past a dark section. On instinct, I look for cameras in the small section. She see this and gets confused but realizes what I'm doing. Too late for her because I pounced on her before she realizes. I simaltaniously grabbed her waist and pulled her close while pushing her against the wall. For a second that animal/warrior side took over and I kissed her. My caring friend side kicked in and overrided that warrior me right after. She seems to love the warrior side as much as I do. She sees it and I see it. Time for B to bring it out
So Version A did clear enough for me to execute the NS and Self training modules. I'm starting to doubt the aura but the results with C proves otherwise. I just haven't seen other people being attracted to me. Soon enough Broventus soon enough.
Yoooo great progress bro, can't believe i missed your journal!
Anyhows this post reminds me of a girl i liked 2 months ago, she was a DMSI V2.4 manifestation.
As she had the exact same personality and charm as a girl i loved 1 year ago ( beta love anyways )
This girl was being sniped throughout V2.4 and V2.5 and i called her swe spanish girl.
She was very close friend with my dorm roomate and she hung out with him all the time, before she got toghether with him now because i didn't pull the trigger. One time i had her against the wall ( full auto pilot mode ) with my forehead pressed against hers infront of my roomate who was toghether with her at the time ( before i knew it ) but i hesitated to kiss her. I remeber her eyes were wide as someone on mdma.
A part of me is happy a did not kiss her since that would get us both in trouble since they were toghether and since that would have destroyed my friendship with him.
Another part of me is curious of what would have happened if i did, im sure he would have interviend and called us both names or just got mad and left. A person sniped with even V2.5 which has 250 to 300% less quirples than V3.01 is unable to resist even if that person was toghether with someone and thah person just so happened to be watching the entire thing. F##King DMSI!!!!!
I feel you. Its a tough decision when the other person someone you know. I made up my mind not to fuck with girls who is in a relationship with someone I know.
Some may say me messing with girls who are in relationships is simply a reaction to having a bad experience with my first girlfriend. I would say thats probably true. Perhaps it's also because I simply don't care about relationships the same way I used to. Either way, I'm going to start priortozing my needs over others first.
Day 35
I didn't run my loops yet but the don't give a fuck feeling is starting set in. Everything just amuses me. From the shinnanigans of work to the mega slut fucking up and having to face the consequences of her actions. Co-workers and workplace drama following that messed up my own perceptions of the co-workers involved. Now everything is taken care of today so I'm cool with the people here again.
Day 37
Had a weird dream that basically consisted of me texting the Asian co-worker and having a weirder get together with her. It left me incredibly drained and I consiously dived back into the dream in order to finish it.
Turns out I did have a form of rage. When I think about my own failures with women I instinctally get into a ragey state for a few seconds. First girlfriend, Asian mega hoe co-worker, and the like. This has been happening for a few days now.
Meeting with C on Thursday to fuck. I had the entire day to myself and her but I was placing so much pressure on myself to make the night fun. I thought: why the hell am I putting so much pressure on myself? She's not even my girlfriend.
(01-09-2017, 03:49 PM)Aventus45 Wrote: [ -> ]Meeting with C on Thursday to ****. I had the entire day to myself and her but I was placing so much pressure on myself to make the night fun. I thought: why the hell am I putting so much pressure on myself? She's not even my girlfriend.
Great that you recognized that!! Seriously though... even if she is your girlfriend, why put yourself under any pressure??
Day 38
Apparently, I changed a lot since I started DMSI v3.0.1. to the point where my female friends are concerned about it and relayed it to my closest male friend. Some are valid such as my concern for my health. Others are to make note of.
1. Health- I used to joke about my eventual death due to high cholesterol. It's my health so ill take that more seriously at least.
2. me becoming more of an asshole. I tear them down and demoralize them from hitting the gym.
3. Morally questionable stuff such as the situation with C. As well as me potentially treating them and women as objects.
Overall they think I became much more cynical and darker than before. DMSI seemed to have facilitated it or I'm still not quite finished healing.
I relate. It seems to me to be a “fortunately unfortunate” situation. As the rate at which we are growing approaches warp speed/hyperdrive, our external reality shifts to match the internal changes. I myself am noticing there are some friendships which need to be “shed“, as I travel further on the hyperdrive dimsee rocket. The people in our circle aren’t able to keep up with the new “self” we become on a daily basis; put enough of these days in sequence, and the person we have become are not the same person they knew and loved. Therefore, it is unfortunate that it may mean our friends change. Fortunately, it means we are only awaiting better and better things here on out. I am once again reminded of Raz’s signature….
Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ.
It’s such a good way to phrase, in one sentence, the principle of correspondence.
Day 39
Still pretty ragey today. I couldn't get the proper loops in today because of me forgetting that I have the sub on and left for 10+ mins on the first loop. Then blowing out the fuse in my room thus stopping my second loop.
I headed out to meet up with my friend to take pictures. She overslept so it became a solo trip. I got mad but I very quickly changed my state once i got into it. I went into almost like a trance and went snapping away. I even managed to get 3 memorable ones. I noticed that I cared less about getting caught in street photography and became more confident intaking those pictures.