After I left that awkward interaction with her, I was left to process my neediness and try to reframe it. Thanks to eternity for helping me reframe my neediness as a challenge for me to overcome. Now I feel better as well as more motivated and look forward to running A.
To go along with Chao's recent post, I do feel like I'm starting to be more naturally flirty or at least be more comfortable with it. Sometimes a part of me cringes at what i say but another is enjoying it and gets kicks out of it.
Ran Version A while texting C and became much bolder than I thought I was able to go but alcohol was definitely involved as well. Before the loops and alcohol, I texted C and hinted that she should send pictures but I immediately started doubting myself and asking why the hell would I send that to her.
When the loops started and a small amount of alcohol entered my system, It became a full blown sexting session on snapchat. I was essentially telling her what to pictures to give me while increasingly pushing the envelope and seeing what she is down to give me.
I gained another new experience: first sexting session with a girl and shes most likely down to become a FWB as well.
It will be the day when I realize and cleared my SubC enough to not only stop relying on alcohol as a crutch but also become extremely attractive to women by becoming the best and most confident version of myself. Until then, Version A is the one I'll run indefinitely
C proudly announcing she is with someone for 5 years in a committed relationship on social media and she secretly messed with 3 dudes including me. This is the shit that makes red pill seem so valid but I know better than to embrace the hate and anger.
I want to work towards Shannon's ideology of pursuing the things that make me happier and continue to become stronger and more confident in myself.
If a woman is acting in a way that does not please you, just let go of her and find someone who does. No need to punish yourself over it with hate and anger. Of course this is definitely easier said in a state of calm, than done in the moment... but it is the wisest choice.
(12-31-2016, 01:31 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]If a woman is acting in a way that does not please you, just let go of her and find someone who does. No need to punish yourself over it with hate and anger. Of course this is definitely easier said in a state of calm, than done in the moment... but it is the wisest choice.
Im commenting on how the red pill people would use this as a reason for hate. I would have reacted the same way if I didn't have better examples to follow such as you, chaos and the like.
I told her I can't trust her in a relationship but we can still be friends and casually fuck or whatever. She's a good friend it's just that one aspect of her that made me feel needy yesterday and a little bit of today.
Day whatever (seriously haven't been keeping track. Set it and forget mentality)
Asian coworker came in for her shift and we actually had a conversation that didn't feel awkward. This is a big improvement because of how much stuff I have been hearing from her. Hearing about her promiscuity and questionable morals used to make me uncomfortable. Now it had become a funny joke with me.
My intention leaks into my daily interaction whether it is from my body language or other cues. I can honestly say I don't know what my intentions were in that situation but it is likely nonneedy. DMSI kicked in at some point though that's for sure. She usually plays with a dog and I usually would leave her alone and do my own thing and not get closer to her. After the conversation, i came in next to her and started playing with the dog that she's playing with. It sounds like nothing but I guess women catch these small changes in behavior.
I don't even know when it is DMSI influencing my actions or is actually my actions. I guess I'm starting to accept A's programming as my own.
An excerpt of the conversation.
Her: at one point, one of the first things I wanted to do was become a therapist.
Me: -reactionary chuckle/scoffing-
Her: Are you scoffing at me?! Well knowing me it would be ironic...
Me: wow that's dark
Her: Nah that's more so sub-text.
I left the workplace reinforcing my own message in my mind. "I am not the healer. Look elsewhere for that". The meaning escapes me but it felt profound.
Edit: forgot to mention my own body language. When she came in and I was talking to her, my body language expanded and i was adopting power poses like hands behind my head and puffing out my chest.
I was a bit down in the dumps emotionally because I started overthinking about stuff that doesnt matter and I shouldnt even spend time on. it literally transformed to me yelling "WHY DO I GIVE A FUCK?" and i had an instant state shift to baseline before I got down from the bullshit.
Any tips on unlocking or becoming more physically aggressive in sexual escalation? I felt like I have the potential to but I need pointers on unlocking that state.
Personally I've decided to go back to some RSD Tyler clips. He is very aggressive and dominant. Been watching some of his stuff over the past day. It has given me good ideas. Then NS will unlock it within me.
Accidentally (or subconsciously) implied that I was a virgin during a texting session with C. I started fearing for the worst because the "virgin" status as well as the inexperience that the status implied botched my chance with F, mega slut coworker, and that's why I was terrified that I slipped up.
So understandably I was like "damn here we go again another rejection". As I was regretting this accidental bout of vulnerability, I was going crazy. I finally said "was there a problem with that?". She was cool with it... whoa...She actually was more so surprised that I did really well for someone who had no prior experience. I guess that book I read years ago paid off lol.
edit: Still have shame about my own sexuality and the things I took interest in. DMSI is gonna remove that.
The fastest way to lose your virginity:
1. Tell every woman you encounter, who you can find an excuse to tell, that you're a virgin.
Ain't nothing wrong with being a Virgin bro. I was there once, and honestly, once you get a few notches under your belt, the insecurity goes away.
Pulling that trigger is hard, and until you lose your virginity it's kind of cumbersome and a lot of unnecessary thoughts weigh down on you.
Honestly, you should wear the V Badge proudly, and if a girl asks, say you haven't found a woman that can make your first experience worth while sexually. That turns it around and poses a challenge to a woman as well.
Most of all, do what you did with C, go down to your most basic primal instincts when you physically escalate. That's all the training you really need. When you unleash your inner beast, no amount of reading or learning is going to matter at that point.
As Eternity said in his last post, it's a journey. Enjoy the journey, forget the destination. Losing your V-Card is only another step in that journey, it's not the final destination by a long shot.
Tyler aggressive and dominant? Are we watching the same guy? He seems girly and feminine to me.
I never liked him from the first time I seen him.
(01-01-2017, 09:57 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Tyler aggressive and dominant? Are we watching the same guy? He seems girly and feminine to me.
I never liked him from the first time I seen him.
Had a sudden opportunity to work on becoming a better photographer by attending a meetup. Everyone there was essentially a gear head as well as a lack of subjects AKA too many photographers and not enough people to photograph. there was 15 photographer clamoring around one Asian chick. That meetup felt like a bust so me and a group of friends decided to walk around a mall taking pictures as well as manhattan and do some street photography. That instead gave more for joy and felt more fulfilling than just taking pictures of hot girls. even captured some cool moments and bonded with the guys I was hanging out with.
i have to constantly reframe my neediness or at least keep myself aware of the dynamic between me and C. Les i become too attached to her.