Subliminal Talk

Today's been nice. I FINALLY had time to hang out with a friend and it was fun!

I listened to ultrasonic via sleepphones last night. I had to take them off after 7 hours. It's been awhile since I've used them so it wasn't totally comfortable. Then I got a nice 3 hours of more comfortable sleep.

When I'm in the emotional state of feeling neutral to good like I'm in now, I kinda think about stopping before another wave of turmoil and misery comes...but I'll still listen for now.

Unrelated

For DMSI, I think that the healing should be at a constant pace instead of "slowing down" for the user. I can say from my E2 experience, it's annoying have the healing "slow down". Yes, E1 was like hell for the first 4 months. But around the 6th month, I didn't feel any more resistance/torture. I'd rather have a timeline and know how long it'll take then to go in blind and possibly end up waiting an excessive amount of time.

Also, someone (Sickologist?) suggested adding elements of masculinity to the aura. YES! I'd love that! I'd like for the aura to be both very sexy and masculine. Of course, it wouldn't be gender neutral at that point, but Shannon said that almost all the women he's mentioned it to are afraid of rape. Considering the goal of the program, their fear is justified. If we end up getting a male and female version of the program, maybe the female version should be "Develop A Little More Attractiveness" and the male be "Develop an Aura of Sexual Irresistibility". They probably won't be afraid to be "a little more attractive" lol.

Also, I wonder how someone's birthday affects their resistance levels to the sub. I'd sure like to find out how mine affects my sub usage.

P.S. I still kind of wonder if porn is at the moment is bad for me. I'm not indulging in it all day, every day. It seems like on the weekends, I'll feel like fucking and it's definitely my sex drive, not me trying to "escape" or anything (it doesn't seem like it). I may watch it one or two weekend nights, busting multiple nuts. Funny thing is, last weekend I had a wet dream even after watching porn that night. I think it may be helping me get comfortable with my sexuality since I'm not fucking a real girl yet, not sure. Anyway, I'm guessing E2 will guide this behavior away in the long run or I'll have a girl to fuck and won't watch porn anymore.

I think mainly what you're talking about is how E2 goes at your own pace. It could be that since it adjusts that having the consistent pace might be too much. Like if you've dealt with something a little deeper you might need time to rest before going forward. Makes sense to me.

And I definately agree with the having a version for men, i'm not a fan of anything gender neutral.

Not much happened today, just been doing what I can to get ahead for this week's workload. I MAY be able to get on top of all the things I have to do. Plus I gotta start working on a role I landed.

In other news
I'm feeling like DMSI is around the corner for me. v3 sounds like a noticeable upgrade. And with NFSM in it, I imagine that if I used that, I'd feel amazing just like I did when I was more active learning game. Positive creativity was at its peak and effortless. And social interactions were always hella fun. So if that's in v3...it'll be hard for me to stick with E2, especially if it ends up throwing me for another off the rails emotional ride.

Just reading some comments on the forum, it's kinda crazy to see some of the DMSI users debating so hard. At this point though, if anyone favors a specific version of DMSI, I don't see a reason to not stick with it. The people who haven't had results yet should definitely keep up to date with the latest version though.

Also, I hope that the final DMSI burns body fat as one of the energy sources. Body fat is slow burning and inefficient by itself, but if the program could just burn body fat throughout the day in addition to its primary energy source that'd be awesome!

Edit: Shannon's list of additions to v3 looks AWESOME! Make sex inevitable! Have organs and fluids the be the responders rewards?! Have them verbally beg for sex?! CELEBRITY STATUS?! HELL YEAH!!

Question:
What should be my benchmark for moving on from E2?

My original goal was to overcome whatever stopped me from having sex with the girls I intended to. I was thinking maybe that should be my benchmark to show progress. But at this point, if DMSI handles that, then my only concern now is to be in a place emotionally where I can have multiple LTRs/friends w benefits.

What do you guys think?

Well today was great regarding my internal state! My social fluidity was noticeable better today. My social confidence was higher as well. Today was alright. I think this is the most I've been "me" since the waves of negativity started. I take it this is a good sign. If this continues for the rest of the week, that'd be epic. Who knows, maybe I'll ready for DMSI 3.0 as soon as it releases.

Unrelated

It's great to see that Vive got a result today in his journal. It was like "no results today. none today either. none--no wait! wait! I got a result!" It made the post more epic.

Shannon seems to really be working hard on v3 and MIR2. I do wonder when v3 will be ready, but I'm glad he's holding off on giving a release date and having us wait until he knows it's ready.

I'm not sure, but maybe my high ultrasonic hours over the weekend had something to do with today. I got like 7 US hours in yesterday and 6 masked hours. Since I only get 5-6 hours of the sub during the week, I'll try to go half and half. With all the months of healing I've done, I think I'll have an epic DMSI run when I get to it.

Minor thing. It seems like when I got on a bus or something, sometimes a girl will make eye contact and smile at me. I just give a smile back. They don't say anything or try to start a convo so I just assume it's politeness.

Social fluidity and social confidence are still here. Awesome. This has to a surefire sign that E2 is nearing its end for me.

The Bad
I'm still working on accepting feeling as attracted as I am to some girls. It's just that in the past, I've felt weak (vulnerable, susceptible to failure, etc.) when I felt that because things never went well after I felt that.

It also seems like I'm working on not getting upset at myself when I don't take the action I intended on taking.

The Good
Today was alright (could've been better if I had just taken action). It seems like general anxiety is lessening. And as mentioned above, my social fluidity is still present which is awesome.

After class, some girl offered me her soda that we all won in class. I accepted it. A little bit after that she asks me about the thing my group is gonna present for class. I talked to her for a bit since I guess she wanted to but she soon ended with saying that she'll see me next class. Something similar happened yesterday in one of my classes. A girl that I've never talked to before, talked to me and someone else after class asking me about something I had to do in class. Interesting coincidence.

Thoughts
Well, I think I still have a little way to go but I'm on a good track. I just think I need to take action without even thinking about it, without having to use any willpower.

Unrelated
Shannon is finally releasing his fragrances! That's like the biggest news since DMSI. I'm totally looking forward to trying some. Who knows, maybe they'll be even better than pheromones!

This may sound redundant considering it's approaching my 7th month on this thing, but I think that one more month with hardcore weekend listening should get me fully past whatever is left that DMSI doesn't address.

I realized today that E2 won't make my workload in class easier. It's not made to make things easy in life for me. It's not designed to transform my life into what I would consider perfect. It's not going to burn my fat for me. And it's not going to make girls flock.

It's simply designed to heal past traumas and have the user overcome guilt, fear, and shame and all varieties that be present. That's all.

Today I encountered some resistance. I was good monday and yesterday with minimal amounts of resistance. But today it messed with my flow. A little thing at the beginning of the day was the spark and it was kinda in the background for the rest of the day. Little things added on to it. I saw one of the hottest girls today. I've seen her around, but I was headed to do something right then and I honestly just don't want to deal with social problems if things don't work out (we're in same major, it's a small group and people talk). And we have new dancing stuff to do in my class now and I still need to read the script for the production I'm in and learn lines...

Unrelated

Seriously, when I use DMSI, my "favorite" girls should just pop up out of nowhere and be doing everything in their power to bed me. I legit intend for this to happen. I'd be uber satisfied with DMSI if it did this!

I'm still working on accepting the feeling of being attracted. I don't know how to explain it. But I just think if someone is attracted to another person that isn't attracted to them, then they seem weak and are "losing". If two people are mutually attracted to each other, both are winning, and it's pleasurable. It's not weak then, it's almost dreamlike. I just want to pass by this asap.

P.S. I'm really weighing my options. If I go a full 8 months on E2, wait 10 days and start DMSI, I'd only have about 3 weeks before the break. OR I can do the full 9 months of E2, wait 10 days, and then go on to DMSI and get a month of it in before classes for next year start. Decisions decisions...in my dance class, it's almost all girls. That would be SO MUCH fun if DMSI started working before this semester was over...

Despite yesterday having gone downhill, I somehow quickly recovered for the most part today. That's legitimately surprising. I believe I'm making progress. I wasn't as 100% as I was at the start of the week but kinda like around 80% or so today. Minor resistance. I took action today and I'm more at peace with myself. That's nothing new though. It's new as in the first time in a while on E2 that this occurred, but not new to how I functioned pre-E2.

The only thing in the air now is how much longer will I stay on E2. I'll say this, let's just say that I have sex with an attractive girl before I reach 8 months, I'll definitely stop E2 and prepare to move to DMSI. I know E2 isn't designed for that, but if that blockage is removed, then I should be totally ready for DMSI.

Unrelated
I totally misread CatMan's Brother's post. I thought CatMan's brother had made CatMan change subs or something. I just re-read it and I'm glad that I'm wrong lol.

I'm glad Shannon is adding in something referencing friends w/ benefits specifically to DMSI v3. At this point, that's pretty much exactly what I think I want. Real friends who I enjoy talking to and being around with real benefits of going wild in the bedroom. That's exactly it.

Also something to note: I noticed earlier this week when I did masked track for 3 hours and ended with 3 hours of ultra right before bed, I had serious issues getting to sleep and staying asleep. Last night I did 1 hr of masked, about 3 hours of ultra, then finished with the masked hours and I didn't have nearly as much trouble going to sleep. So from now on I'll end with masked.

P.S. I think that my social anxiety is slowly but surely going away. The general things are being handled, but the specific things like being nervous about talking to certain people or talking to people in certain situations need to be handled. For example, right now I feel more comfortable cold approaching a girl and doing it seriously not some half ass shit than just saying "Hey" to someone in a couple of classes. I don't feel like 50% comfortable in 2 of my classes and like 80%-100% comfortable in the rest depending on the day. However, if someone starts a convo with me in any context, I feel much more comfortable.

Minor update

The past two nights I've had dreams about things I'm going through right now in my life as in like very recently. Or more specifically people I've recently met. Does this mean E2 has resolved all emotional trauma up until today?

Either way, it's a step in the right direction.

Today was good. I hung out with one of my friends for a few hours. It's been awhile since I've had the chance to so I enjoyed it. I had a lot on my mind before I hung with her, but afterwards I felt like I had less to worry about. Maybe my mind was distracted long enough for my subconscious to clear some stuff. It almost certainly felt like it.

Also interesting. I get on the bus back to my place. I get off and a girl got off at the same spot. She just starts talking about the wild weather and I continued to the convo. I didn't think too much of it, but she was like "it was nice to meet you! My name is X. What's yours?" before we said goodbye.

I'd like to think that I'm attracting girls without effort, but maybe it's just that I'm putting out a more social vibe in general. What's happening is sometimes I see guy's being more respectful and girls talk to me slightly more often than before (as in initiate). At the very least, this makes me think DMSI should work well for me. It has even more resistance fighting magic than E2.

Unrelated

Work's a bitch, but I recently thought something to myself. I realized that in the past, I didn't really care about my homework yet I still did well in classes and somehow performed well under the pressure of always doing it last minute. Recently, I've been trying to be active with getting it done and it's been more stressful. So I just thought to myself that if I could handle it before, I can handle it now and I don't really have anything to worry about. The nature of my work this semester is vastly different than most of my previous semesters, but I'll find a way.

Since I seem to be stuck with nothing fun for friday nights, I may just start gyming. After I do so much homework, I typically am too fatigued to stay focused on boring stuff like that so I watch videos. Then again, I feel tired as fuck from the sub usage and my long days, but I'll figure it out.

Well today was alright. Still have a bunch of stuff to get done. Still keeping hours high on weekends.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been saying a statement out loud when I wake up or before I go to sleep. "Universe, provide me with attractive girls that want to be good friends and have sex with me repeatedly." I saw someone else on the forum do something similar (forgot who) and it seemed to work for them so I tried it. That's why I've been posting when girls come and start convo with me. It's kinda new especially with it happening at this frequency.

Today when I went to throw away my garbage, some girl was throwing hers away but trying to swing it and throw it into the garbage area instead of walking up the stairs and easily putting it in. One of her bags, she totally fails with and it kinda spilled on the ground. She turns around and sees me and was like "did you see that?" and I'm like "Yeah, I saw it. You could've just walked up the stairs." She just said "yeah". I was like "lazy?" and she chuckled and admitted she was. I walked up the stairs, put my garbage in, and then as I'm walking down the stairs and she's walking up, she looks at me again and giggles with a smile.

I think the biggest reason that I'm trying to figure out instances like these is to know if it's a result of manifestation from my statement or if girls initiate convo with me now because E2 has removed my general resentment towards them and it's just social behavior instead of attraction. In the past, I would've assumed a girl initiating was definitely attraction, but I'm numb to ioi's and a bit rusty.

Still getting some dreams at night, so I'm assuming I'm still processing stuff.

This may be related to the sub or maybe not. But for the first time in a while, I didn't masturbate to porn this week. The strong urge to watch porn and get off to it wasn't quite there. This may be due to the fact that I took action regarding a girl this week. Before E2, when I first started understanding social dynamics, it was easy for me to stay off of porn because I kept thinking to myself "I'm so close to having sex". It might be the same case now or it may be E2.

What's interesting is how I can dream about slaying vampires, feel pretty much confident in my skills to kill them, but feel scared if I dream about someone pulling a gun on someone I know. Dream me slayed vampires, dream me should be able to handle a single guy with a gun lol

Unrelated
Since it'll be a little while before DMSI 3.0 is out, I look forward to seeing how much longer 2.4 takes to heal people. It makes sense to me to use the healing version, but what if the one without healing gets results much faster?

I'm sure when 3.0 is released, some people will get the one without healing. What if they get results in a couple weeks while the people on the healing version go on for a whole month healing? I sure don't want it to go that way, but I'm just thinking. If Shannon gets it to the point that he can specify a time frame for the healing (like 2-3 weeks at most) that'd be great!

Today wasn't too bad. I just don't want to live with the guys I'm with right now. I wish they'd get some weed laced with lead or xanax.

I may feel slightly more comfortable in my dance class.

Still very busy.

It was good to see that what Shannon expected E2's energy flooding to do lined up with some of my experiences. I only wonder now what time frame E2's energy flooding was designed to take place in. I've only experienced the effects noticeably within the past month, and it's not even a daily occurrence yet. I have been feeling that feeling of not wanting to get out of the bed. I thought it might just be because of how comfortable my new bed is but I don't feel it every morning, but most I do. Some people called it euphoric, I just think it's really comfortable, like the most comforting thing I feel all day.

Unrelated
Sometimes I read other's experiences with subs like AM and LTU and I wonder how things would be different for me now. Not upset in any way, but I wonder. I know E2 has more powerful tech than those so theoretically I'm on the best possible path.

If Shannon gets 6G to the point that every 6 months of running a sub, whatever it may be, is life changing, I'd be astounded and excited. 6 months is a great benchmark to look at progress in my opinion. A lot can change in 6 months when the effort is put out there. A lot.

Just a random thought. If I stop E2 on my 8th month and I start DMSI, I'll be elated if by V-day I have at least 3 girls to choose from to fuck that day instead of being alone. I'll truly give Shannon props if that happens. I'll probably even let my best friends in on the secret. I might even tell my mom that I've been using subs if that happens lol!

P.S. Forgot to mention this. I did the math and if I had time to go to the gym for 30 min 3 times a week, that'd be 90 minutes a week. I figured out that if I do 13 minutes of intense training a day (just doing bodyweight in my room for time reasons), I can hit 90 minutes a week and it'd be intense whenever I trained. So I made my own workout program suiting my needs and I just did Chest for today. Feelin great

Today was okay. I just felt a bit irritated in the background though.

I just think that with enough willpower anything should be possible. But it seems like that isn't the case. I'm just specifically thinking of my past with girls. I was shy as kid, the hottest girls flocked to me in middle school but I didn't see it at that time and was too shy and afraid to do anything. I failed. I did what I thought was the right thing to do relating to girls in high school. And failed. I came to college and got my shit together, come to cusp of success repeatedly with hot girls. But still somehow, almost like some force was holding me back, failed. No one can tell me anything about willpower. But I see that willpower isn't the unstoppable thing I've always thought it to be. I thought willpower and correct actions always guaranteed results, but I was wrong. I don't care what others say. Being "cool" or "popular" doesn't really mean shit with regards to women.

I'm really just thinking about jumping ship to DMSI any day now. I feel like just beating a punching bag until I'm tired. I didn't take action today and I'm a bit irritated by that. I'm gonna do my workout now.

Unrelated
Shannon, I don't think you read user's journals outside of the DMSI journals. Makes sense since you only have so much time in a day and so much work to do. But if you read this, thanks for doing what you can to change the dynamics between men and women via DMSI. Seriously, just the fact that you're actually doing something like this is amazing. The only thing I have to say is: Please, please, make it work

Edit: I noticed when doing my short workouts, I feel like a primal animal instinct coming to surface. Maybe that's because it's been a while. In the past, I had to focus on it to get into it. Today it was just there

Also, I've been trying to find how to have true power. I want to have true power. To be recognized as a powerful entity. To have the power to easily shift unfavorable circumstances into my favor. To be able to simply bring about whatever it is that I choose in my life. I thought willpower was true power, but no true power is something else.

(10-04-2016, 03:30 PM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]I just think that with enough willpower anything should be possible. But it seems like that isn't the case. I'm just specifically thinking of my past with girls. I was shy as kid, the hottest girls flocked to me in middle school but I didn't see it at that time and was too shy and afraid to do anything. I failed. I did what I thought was the right thing to do relating to girls in high school. And failed. I came to college and got my shit together, come to cusp of success repeatedly with hot girls. But still somehow, almost like some force was holding me back, failed. No one can tell me anything about willpower. But I see that willpower isn't the unstoppable thing I've always thought it to be. I thought willpower and correct actions always guaranteed results, but I was wrong. I don't care what others say. Being "cool" or "popular" doesn't really mean shit with regards to women.

Willpower is great, but in my experience it doesn't last. Willpower is like manual override for your behavior, but eventually it switches back. Good in a pinch, but no long term solution. But you've got determination and strength which keeps you going. If you didn't have these things you would have given up a long time ago.

As for true power, you're already on the path to that. True power is just the result of having cleared so much of your limiting beliefs that you see no limitations. When your conscious and subconscious work together to bring about something instead of the whole tug of war thing that often goes on. Have you read reality transurfing at all? The author discusses this. It's the difference between inner and outer intention. Inner intention you fight to change things, you exert tremendous willpower because you don't believe such things are possible. Outer intention is understanding that all things are possible, you just have to set the intention and allow it to unfold in your life. You don't fight to make it happen because you know it will happen. A lot of this is releasing the beliefs that paint reality as a hard, blood sweat and tears struggle and accepting that it's only one interpretation of how reality is. Something that I personally have had tremendous difficulty carrying out. We tend to see reality through the filter of all we've absorbed throughout our lives and most of us only see pain and struggle. That's the truth to us and anything else is wishful thinking or delusion. But the real delusion is not taking advantage of the fact that our own realities are highly malleable and choosing to stay in a reality that is full of pain.

Having said that, I think the fastest road to claiming that true power is to get into the habit of questioning what you hold as truth vs what is your personal belief. I'll give you a personal example to emphasize how powerful it can be. I used to struggle with depression a lot. I spent a lot of time on forums where people stated it was a disease and a defect in the brain, it couldn't be cured, you just learned to live with it, it was genetic, etc. That was my truth for years and it prevented me from moving on from it. The hard part when we do this is we aren't aware that these are merely beliefs, we think they are reality and don't question it enough. So we get stuck and can't move on, but at the same time we don't know what it is we need to change.

Sorry for the length, I get carried away sometimes because I've been on a quest for that true power for a long time now and I like to drop in my 2 cents whenever possible if I think it'll help.