I was gonna do this update this Friday since it’ll be the last day of my Whole30 and also about 3 months since I started E2, but it’s been on my mind to do it now.
The Bad
First, the unpleasant. Recently, I’ve been feeling that anger towards girls again. I haven’t even been around any at all. I’ve been at home literally almost all day every day unless I have to get groceries or something. Parents are driving my car during the day so yeah. But I don’t really feel like going out to do something. I’m cool and comfortable with it, even moreso than before E2, but I don’t feel the need to like I did before E2. Anyway, my point is that the few times I have been out and seen any girl even remotely attractive, I’ve started getting irritated again. Why? Well I thought about it and it dawned on me that I just simply feel like have been unappreciated by the opposite sex for pretty much my entire life. I did use to think that girls were “out of my league”, but once I learned the basics of game, that kind of thinking left me. I started to see myself for who I was. I thought of myself as the lover, the badboy that gets girls. No matter how much I bought into it I was never actually fucking the girls I wanted to. And I can say that now I think to myself “Why wouldn’t a girl want me?” and then I proceed to mentally list all the awesome things I have done, am doing, and will do in my life. I especially think it’s odd that being an actor or any kind performer that I have a problem with girls. The ONLY answer I can come up with is that my own hatred towards girls/desire to make them endure the emotional pain that they caused me is what is holding me back due to the principles of the universe. I think that until that is completely gone I won’t be able to succeed in that area. Even if I did use AOSI now, I don’t think it would work. I’ve also still been struggling with porn. It’s not that I waste hours a day now, maybe 30 minutes a couple times a week. But still it’s gotta go.
I’m not sure how E2 will help me with the situation of making friends with the people within my performing major. I’m actually planning on taking classes in my other major to avoid the people in my performing major. Regardless, it’ll have plenty of time to do something before 2017 rolls in and I have to go back to the performing classes.
The Good
On the plus side, I’ve noticed a lot of interesting things happening in my life. It seems like it’s easier for me to manifest in my life now. To give specific examples, a body weight analyzer that was over $100 went on sale for $50. I told my parents, but they weren’t getting it for me and I didn’t have the money. The next day out of nowhere I wake up to a text from my aunt that I haven’t spoken with in a few months due to being busy and she randomly was telling me that she wanted to give me $100. The analyzer was still on sale and I ordered it. Should be here tomorrow
My dog that I’m close to has been in the garage for about a year now. That’s where my parents keep him, but I always wanted him to stay inside. They also stopped taking him to the vet a long time ago. I mention something about it and a few days later, me and my dad give him a bath and bring him inside. I cried that night out of happiness. Thinking back through the years, my dog is the only one I’ve had a relationship with that had never betrayed me or been tricked me. I mean my friends are good and all, I don’t have shitty friends, but my dog’s been around for like 14 years. That’s the longest relationship/friendship I’ve had really outside of my parents. I’m really seeing the value in that. We’re also going to take him to the vet in June to get him caught up so I’m so glad!
My dad randomly asked me if I would use this home gym equipment if he bought it. (He already knew the answer. I already use the little bit we have at home and train 4-5 times a week lol). I told him yeah, we talked with my mom, and he ordered it! I’ll be able to do pullups, dips, pulldowns, and finally weighted squats in the comfort of my own home!! I’ve asked for this for at least a year, probably two, and now all of a sudden we actually get it?! Too many “co-incidences” to not be related to my E2 usage and constantly putting in effort to raise my vibration!
I know it’s a combination of the both of them because my dad won an auction on ebay for a piece of musical equipment for less than half its retail price. One of his students also gave him money as a gift and he said he’s never that before in the past years he’s been his teacher. When I first back home, my dog’s energy level wasn’t the best, but it’s picked up to be almost the same it was when he was just a few years old! There was also that news story about the gorilla that tried to help the kid that fell in the area at the zoo but was shot. My dad started talking about how sad it is that they shot the gorilla. Not just once, but like 3 or 4 times. It’s TOTALLY not like him to be upset about the death of a wild animal, especially some 400lb gorilla. It stuck out to me for sure.
Anyway, I now know without a doubt that E2 is helping. I only wonder how much longer until my past with girls is handled. Once that’s out the way and the situation with my performing major, my life will be pretty much perfect!
P.S. Still training hard and working to burn bodyfat. I’m doing calorie shifting now to prevent plateaus and I’m aiming to start adding in HIIT cardio once I hit 14 or 13 percent. I’m aiming to be single digit by the end of the summer. If it happens sooner, awesome. Then I’d start reverse diet bulking to stay lean!
Also, has anyone found the best hours for E2? I've been doing about 13.5 hours on average a day.
Edit: I forgot to mention. People make the comment to me that I'm "handsome" more frequently now. It's only older people (no milfs yet). I forgot to mention it because people told me this before but it's more frequent now. I don't think about it either. To me "handsome" is just some bs term. I'd take "hot" and "fine" or something like that as a real compliment.
