What you said. That's my dream
(04-02-2016, 05:32 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]You don't come to porn at all? That's crazy. I envy you. I actually wish I wouldn't come at all unless I decided to.
Just stop and walk away :) I decided at some point that its not worth the loss of drive and motivation push those drops out at the end - its really just a few a seconds of pleasure. Go do something else. Blue balls can and will happen, but its just uncomfortable and doesn't last that long. It helps to shift the focus to enjoyment of the energy vs. expecting the release, and to be satisfied with the just the process. Sure it helps with actual sex too, but it does make me pretty sensitive if I haven't blown it for a full week prior. Combine that with a new girl, and yeah.. not gonna go fast on that 1st round, lol.
(04-02-2016, 07:14 PM)Dubls Wrote: [ -> ]What you said. That's my dream
Yeah, mine too. I'm practicing kegels these days, but so far the only benefit I've seen is shooting cum. :/
(04-03-2016, 01:31 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ] (04-02-2016, 05:32 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]You don't come to porn at all? That's crazy. I envy you. I actually wish I wouldn't come at all unless I decided to.
Just stop and walk away 
I decided at some point that its not worth the loss of drive and motivation push those drops out at the end - its really just a few a seconds of pleasure. Go do something else. Blue balls can and will happen, but its just uncomfortable and doesn't last that long. It helps to shift the focus to enjoyment of the energy vs. expecting the release, and to be satisfied with the just the process. Sure it helps with actual sex too, but it does make me pretty sensitive if I haven't blown it for a full week prior. Combine that with a new girl, and yeah.. not gonna go fast on that 1st round, lol.
Well I do edge, don't get me wrong. But I'd rather have control than edge. I mean, pump for 2 seconds, wait for 5 sucks. I'd rather pump for 10 minutes, wait for 10 seconds, you know?
I don't know if it's possible but it'd be nice. I know there's a drug out there that delays ejaculation, but I'd like to stay away from drugs as much as I can.
Mr. Maximus, stop manifesting weirdness again :P
Day 30
My Girl spent the night and was exposed to the program for the second night. Normally she'll be exposed to the US track of whatever program I'm running atm for a few hours a week, and then I'll use sleep phones normally when were sleeping. But I've been wanting her to get a bit more EPRHA as well, so I left the US track on for the night. Result: when morning came she was quiet and a bit far away in the bed. It was already late so I forced myself up (tired as hell) took a cold shower, did a little calisthenics to get the blood pumping and made coffee. What she did was pull the blanket over her head and fortify herself ever further in the bed. So I thought, ok, might as well bring the mugs of coffee and water to bed and have a quick browse at the forum there. She still won't come out under the bed and says nothing for a few minutes, until she comes out looking a sad lost puppy in the rain. She said "do you ever have this feeling like the world's going to end today, even though there's no reason it would? :(". That made me smile inside. Kinda bad too, but of course I knew nothing was wrong. I was a bit surprised how good at grounding I am now, because I actually guided her out of that surprisingly fast. Felt like I was sort of doing it to myself, but I was doing it to her instead. Made me think of David Deida; I think he wrote something to the effect that masculine energy is like a stone, and it grounds feminine energy.
Anyway, apparently she's been seeing a lot of dreams since last week when I also played the program through the night on my phone. She said she'd even stay awake (at least) one night dreading to go to sleep again, for the dreams. Idk if I should play it anymore when she's around. I thought it'd be good, but it might be that it only triggers the digging up of negative stuff, and then she's left to deal with it herself. Not that she made a big deal out of it, she never does. Just laughed about it.
Discussed an issue with my manager. He gets very tight about some things and has this strong tendency to confuse, resist, and mix things up. Feels like stress and wanting to control, and misdirection and hurry wrapped into a nice bundle running in every direction at once, then asserting something confusing. A colleague of mine has been been discussing the same issue with him and it has resulted in blatant childish behavior and bad blood. Its like I have to ground my boss too if I want to have things move forward.
Also, just realized I've been looking at attachments wrong. E.g. this weekend I was out and I had such good reactions that I knew I had some attachments to those. So I looked at them as wanting approval, imagining though this lens of "please like me" and then trying to feel that, but it didn't feel quite right. But now I realized its not that negative energy I'm attached, its the positive experience and feeling. So, there were times when I was feeling great and smiling with people. Now imagining that, its feeling good and then wanting to hold on to that feeling and keep feeling it now and in the future - wanting control. This felt instantly right, and when I let go it felt like the good feeling wasn't held into this one place and image of a person anymore; it was free to spread all over. Did this with a couple other good memories too, and it feels right.
Doing that, had a new understanding of grief. Let's say there's a he/she/it in your life. Maybe you're living with him/her/it, and in time there are many good events that unfold. They're good things, so naturally you hold onto those good things, wanting to remember them and keep feeling them. Then, for any reason, you can't ever again see or be with him/her/it again. Because all those good feelings are tied up in those memories with him/her/it, and he/she/it is gone, they're blocked to you. So in effect, you just lost a part of yourself. I'm sure it doesn't really work like this, but imagine your body being able to hold 1000 drops of grade A positive emotions at once. Now, if you've bound 857 of those drops in specific places and they're stored up in some tissue, then there's only 143 drops floating around. Releasing them from the tissues gets you back to 1000 drops circulating. Anyway, I never come to mental masturbation either, so that's it for today.
(04-04-2016, 10:46 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]Mr. Maximus, stop manifesting weirdness again 
Lol, at first I was like "wtf does he mean??" But then I went back and read the comments.
@ eternity's_child: Sorry I didn't get what you were referring to. I must have forgot about my own comments lol. the drug is called "priligy" and you can read about it here:
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/super-aw...ct/priligy
Hope that's what you were referring to LK!
Quote:Day 30
My Girl spent the night and was exposed to the program for the second night. Normally she'll be exposed to the US track of whatever program I'm running atm for a few hours a week, and then I'll use sleep phones normally when were sleeping. But I've been wanting her to get a bit more EPRHA as well, so I left the US track on for the night. Result: when morning came she was quiet and a bit far away in the bed. It was already late so I forced myself up (tired as hell) took a cold shower, did a little calisthenics to get the blood pumping and made coffee. What she did was pull the blanket over her head and fortify herself ever further in the bed. So I thought, ok, might as well bring the mugs of coffee and water to bed and have a quick browse at the forum there. She still won't come out under the bed and says nothing for a few minutes, until she comes out looking a sad lost puppy in the rain. She said "do you ever have this feeling like the world's going to end today, even though there's no reason it would? 
". That made me smile inside. Kinda bad too, but of course I knew nothing was wrong. I was a bit surprised how good at grounding I am now, because I actually guided her out of that surprisingly fast. Felt like I was sort of doing it to myself, but I was doing it to her instead. Made me think of David Deida; I think he wrote something to the effect that masculine energy is like a stone, and it grounds feminine energy.
Anyway, apparently she's been seeing a lot of dreams since last week when I also played the program through the night on my phone. She said she'd even stay awake (at least) one night dreading to go to sleep again, for the dreams. Idk if I should play it anymore when she's around. I thought it'd be good, but it might be that it only triggers the digging up of negative stuff, and then she's left to deal with it herself. Not that she made a big deal out of it, she never does. Just laughed about it.
It sounds like she both needs to use this program, and could really benefit from having you buy her a copy of it.
(04-04-2016, 02:51 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It sounds like she both needs to use this program, and could really benefit from having you buy her a copy of it.
Yeah. I'll need to consider that one. I've thought of it, but then I'd probably have to delete or clean up my journals, because my online identity would become pretty clear to her. The line of online privacy is of course something to consider anyway when posting. But atm, subs are not something I share with her. First of all the forum: if you were talking with your buddies about women, you probably wouldn't want that recorded word for word and then shown to your girl every time, even if there's nothing in there you're really hiding. Second, a big part of the subs is manliness, sexiness, attraction, dealing with women, etc. I guess it comes down to the big shame men have about not showing weakness, but my take is that I don't care to be explaining everything I do to anyone. I wouldn't expect my girl to give me any trouble, but let's say we had a falling out someday and she might talk trash about me, same as anyone. I'd say a lot of people could benefit from subliminals, but until they show they're open to such things, I feel I have little to gain by raising their weird-o-meters with any such techniques. Maybe when 6G comes out it'll be provable within a short time span that they're absolutely effective, but maybe then I'll feel there's no reason to give up my competitive advantage :P In the order of perceived weirdness I might bring up meditation to people who seem open, then releasing I've only discussed with my girl, and subs with no one so far.
Though what you said is true, so I'll consider it.
Day 31
I had one of those dreams myself last night. I haven't done tapping in a while, but in the dream, for some reason, I was saying to myself "subconscious, let go of this... (something)". Then I was outside and it was peaceful, there's was this old man on a farm - on older version of myself. Its like several years had passed and he (I) had been encouraging my subconscious to release something for years. He was still saying, gently, something like "You know I'll always be here to help you/guide you/remind you of releasing these things". Then suddenly the atmosphere changed; it became dark and stormy and I had this feeling I need to get away from something. I quickly dashed inside a house and I had this feeling I need to find some new way out and get out of here fast. Sort of like in a game when you go to a place and then a fire breaks out and you're given a timer and need to run and just find a way out. Then I woke up, got up, and avoided going back to sleep for some time. Makes me think the old man was the sub, and I was feeling trapped like my subconscious.
Had this gloomy feeling all morning like I'd been fooled and nothing's ever going to work out in the end - it'll always just be the same. As I stayed with that I got over it a bit and then had some anger and resentment toward everything surface. I'm more or less normal now, though not too excited.
ION: My arm has been getting, so I've been lifting weights a little at home. Feels good. Its not well-enough to go to the gym yet, though.
That, my friend, is your subconscious trying to resist out of fear. The old man symbolized your higher/wiser self AND the sub, and the storm symbolized the irrational amorphous fear that did not really have a point. Your subconscious was trying to get you to give up because it is afraid of dealing with something. It was trying to scare you consciously into that course of action and make you consciously feel hopeless so you would.
It's not going to be an effortless process, no matter how I try to make it so. But you are making really good progress, and it's obviously working for you. Just be vigilant.
Shannon, are you using EPRHA 2 yourself? Just getting more of that feeling from your posts lately. Anyway, thanks and I will!
(04-05-2016, 12:09 PM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, are you using EPRHA 2 yourself? Just getting more of that feeling from your posts lately. Anyway, thanks and I will!
I did use it for a little while during creation and testing, and I love it. But, I have to run BAMM and I have to test G6 prototype and I have to run pain relief for these headaches, and...
It is definitely true that even the short time I used it, it had a profound effect on me though.
