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P.S. Idk who's been adding me on facebook, i'm pretty sure i accepted the requests but please send me a message if we are fb friends because I can't figure out who I accepted XD XD
Whats your sub history eternity?
Well, I'm really happy for you that you seem to be getting great results from the sub now man.
I hope things do nothing but get better from here on out for you.
sub history > January I started AM6, July I started SM3
Thanks catman
and screw you frosted!
jk
Yes the naturalizer is interesting, though I know i've made big changes and others comment my mind still tells me not much has happened. It's weird.
Quote:All I get is the ugly deli girl smirk.
She wants to package your meat!
(09-30-2015, 04:05 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]She wants to package your meat!
She wants sausage between her buns!
(Now, somebody else's turn for a relevant themed double entendre lol!)
stage 3 day 16
Day 5 of no fap
A bit unusual of me to be posting every day now, but I was told today by one of my best friends that he thinks I'm a "babe magnet" now. even his girlfriend of 2 weeks has (present tense) a crush on me, as he says... and her touchy feelyness towards me kinda proves it.
I was depressed today out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure I hit 22 hours out of 24 hours listening as I've been keeping my kindle fire on as often as possible, so that could be one reason. Another possibility is that I raised the volume on my listening (ultrasonic) so my subconscious is responding to the sub literally screaming at me by depression, and as a last minute defense.
I didn't even realize it but approach anxiety is definitely being dealt with. It's easier for me to talk to girls I don't know. The super hot ones are still not as easy to talk to, but in more of a "i don't really care if I talk to her now or not" way.
Sometimes I'm a dickhead to women and don't feeling bad about it. I'm sure it's part of the stage 3 process, and will need to be rounded off later in the program. It's like sarcasm with a touch of abrasiveness, which is NOT who I was before. I used to be a people pleaser, shy, 'stay out of conflict at all costs' type of person, but i'm surprising myself and my friends with some of the comments I make.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm barely halfway through this program, so there's way more to come and i'm ridiculously excited on what's already happened so far, plus what more is to come!
I feel like I'm becoming what I've dreamed of becoming ^_^
Wow, incredible post Eternity. I'm so happy for you man.
The program really seems to be taking to you well. It's so nice to see that! I wish you and Frosted epic runs on SM3. Go get 'em, boys!
stage 3 day 18
fake boobs feel awesome when pressed up against my chest during a warm hug
oh and... it's been 7 days since i've released my ejaculate, but when i took a dump today i came a little bit.... i've gone 13 days before on AM6 and this never happened to me.
i've been riding a 5 day pink cloud of constant horniness that has me feeling a bit like i'm on cocaine! but this natural euphoria of horniness is far greater than any high i've gotten from an external substance.
the girl with fake boobs (34 years old, short blonde) got a new car today and her and her hot ass friend (28, my height or 1 inch taller than me with 9/10 looks 9/10 personality) came over to show me the new car for a few minutes before leaving to go back to their house. GOD i am so freaking horny i find myself sitting in bed texting beautiful women, in what is essentially torture by holding myself back from masturbating, basically feeling like i'm on a constant orgasm O_O
This is getting me more keen for SM3.. awesome shit!
Frosted, I didn't really get any surefire results until stage 3, last week. During stage 1 and 2 i was being "primed" so to speak, and there was massive resistance like depression, wanting to just quit talking to girls altogether because I didn't feel worthy, debilitating approach anxiety, self pity, self deception, all kinds of shit. That's why I firmly believe a second run of AM6 would have helped a lot more... but again, as i said before, i don't regret doing SM3 after 1 run of AM6.
After I did the alcoholics anonymous step 4 (made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself) which includes my resentments, sex inventory and how my sexual behavior has harmed others + miscellaneous behavior that caused my sickness... and THEN seeing my part in contributing to the situations that caused me to be resentful, I started seeing for myself who I am and why I am the way I am. It's very enlightening. After identifying this emotional baggage, I feel a lot clearer and ever since, I started getting legitimate results from SM3.. and I had a feeling that would be the case too, which is why i hurried up and finished my 4th step.
the euphoric horniness started happening this week, but i didn't realize it was due to the sub until I read other SM3 journals and saw similar results. Plus, SM3 has increased my sex drive through the roof and it was
hard to put 3 or 4 days together without masturbating, but now that I've given it 7 days I can definitely attest to the sex drive being a major component of my results. Sex magnet 3.0 instructions clearly states
Quote:Sex Magnet is designed to access and use ALL of your energy and mental capacity and put it to use
towards achieving the goals of the program. It will also use your dreams at night, daydreams, and all sources of energy it can, including your sex drive, to power its efforts.
so I've been trying to prevent release as much as possible to keep my sex drive fueling the sub.
i hope that helps answer yer question
stage 3 day 19
so after the big long spiel yesterday about not releasing, i couldn't take it anymore and released... and TODAY SUCKED! i have to curb my masturbation addiction. It really ruined my drive and I'm pretty sure I could have gotten laid today by the 9/10 & 9/10 blonde cause I spent literally 8 hours with her today, we went out to eat, flirted back and forth, she told me she can't have kids because of a health condition (where did that come from??? she wants the d?). she knows i'm leaving to india soon, said "you'll like country music by the time i'm done with you".... GOD i'm so freaking pissed i masturbated yesterday, I'm pretty sure I could have had the mother of all loads of energy today.
Also, yesterday after my post, i got a text from that one girl i mentioned a few days ago that i had this mutual "aggressive/abrasive/sarcastic" attraction with, saying stuff like i take sideways stabs at her with my words, i've been really rude to her lately, etc... even though what I say is with the best of intentions, i told her that it's because I actually like her and I totally didn't mean for it to be hurtful. BIG WTF moment! i felt so hurt. i just checked my facebook messages and she typed in something that she meant to type to her friend but she sent it to me instead by accident LMAO. it stated how fuqqed up what i said was. asdfasdl;kfja;sdkljf frustrating. but there is no shortage of bishes for me. i cleaned up my side of the street, stating i'm sorry she took it that way, that it was with good intentions. so how she handles it now is on her.
WOW. there's a lot of rounding off that needs to be done. The last 24 hours have been depressing D: But I'm gonna get that blondie one way or other. And maybe the other girl will come around (let's refer to her as purple, cos she has purple hair) soon... even tho she's probably using another dude as an emotional tampon and having sex with him too. Which had me jealous at first, but now it's no big deel.
I'm glad you're doing so well on SM3. Excellent to see!
Makes me wonder what the hell is going on with MY run.
Anyway, I wish you continued success, man. Great effort so far. Keep it up! Go get them implants lol.
stage 3 day 21
I just had a talk with one of my female friends about previous relationships, and she kind of probed it out of me but I felt open and comfortable enough with her.
We talked about something called "sexual anorexia" which she goes to SLA (Sex and Love anonymous, another 12 step program). She said I might have it, and it really opened my eyes because based on my behavior and fear of women and sex, I can DEFINITELY relate to it. I looked it up a bit on wikipedia, and it seems like it makes sense if I had it, due to my previous relationship trauma with my ex-fiance. Sexual anorexia is like the complete opposite of sex addiction.
*****
I had an incident this afternoon where girls cockblocked the living hell out of me -_- I was trying to talk to this cute girl I've had a keen interest on. She's definitely LTR material, for what it's worth. She's super simple, doesn't wear makeup, didn't have her hair done at all today but something about her makes my heart sing (kekeke how cheesy) but the other girls I know I guess were jealous? I hope not. It totally ruined my mood today, and the girl I like (call her B for now) was like "you look like you're on the verge of being stressed out!"
If you told me 3 months ago, that I would be going through these frustrating problems, I wouldn't believe you. lol