(09-20-2014, 10:57 AM)zen Wrote: [ -> ]16 eefs? You're the Champ!
Well, actually 21 if you count the 5 I did after the club, lol. But yeah its too much, don't want to get burned out.
Stage 1, Day 27. Nothing much happened last night, which wasn't really a surprise considering how much anxiety I dug up during the day and the expectations that brought. But it was fun, I went out with a friend I haven't seen in a long time and we talked a bit. I was feeling great & strong for the first half of the night, but then it kinda felt like my batteries suddenly ran out or something; I didn't get tired, but that horniness/sexiness/aura thing just dropped and I couldn't get the feeling back anymore. Only had 1 beer, so that's progress. Very little approaching, feels like I failed a bit in that regard (tap). Some dancing, including up on the podium in front of everyone by myself for a minute (tap).
There was this freaking gorgeous, really tall Megan Fox look alike. We danced next to each other and I would've wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't shake the feeling that "she's too freaking tall & hot, there's no way she'd ever be into someone who's not a 185+ cm model". I did go & put this sign that said "Single!" around her neck on the dance floor. She didn't mind, but also didn't give me eye contact (my fault). I let her wear for a few secs and then took it back because it was my friend's, lol. Thinking back, I never saw her interact in any way with anyone else except her friend, so I think she actually could've been fairly open to talking at least. But yeah, I was feeling a bit anxious about convos anyway, feeling like I didn't have much to say, and that I can't see any good opportunities (tap). Last time was much easier.
I did get approached 3 times, which is new :) Right when I left there was this girl on the street that got this instant deer-in-the-headlights look when she saw me, then kinda hurried behind me & beside her friend and started asking where I'm going (with that ass) and stuff. Its happened some times before. I was a bit late going to meet up with my friend so I wasn't really open to stopping and I just gave said something quick and kept going. How girly of me. Another one was a pretty-drunk girl who walked up to me, despite her friend trying to hold her back & apologizing for her, to asks me directions to club. Seemed like she honestly was looking for it, though. And then the third one was a girl on the dance floor. She just kinda appeared to dance in front of me & my friend and turned to look at me a bit shyly & smiling a few times. Clearly inviting me to do something, I doubt she even knew what herself. I did dance with her a little bit and clap hands with her or something, but then I pulled back a bit b/c the old "play it cool" self-talk kicked back in. As soon as I pulled back the 2nd time, she instantly got frustrated and walked off to talk to her friend on the other side of the d. floor, lol :D Whatever, good stuff. Good effort on her part. I can dance in groups, I can grind and I can do Salsa, but dancing slightly apart with 1 girl I haven't even talked to, in a club & sober feels like I'm free falling :D
pstec is great & all, but I'm finding Sedona's 3 questions (or feft) are still useful for clearing those remaining tight feelings after I've blasted the big anxieties to tiny but still sharp shatters all over my mind. I'll do some cleaning up today. And "my girl" is coming over in the evening, thank god.
But then it happened that I started imagining myself dancing on a podium and waving my dick at everyone in the club.. laughed so hard it dropped from a 9 to a 0
I think I got a discount at a cafe too 1-2 weeks back, it was the same thing. Also, I feel GREAT after all that tapping and got some long looks.
