Subliminal Talk

Or the program worked and now he just feel like the forum is boring.

Stage 5, day 24. So, felt like posting something again. These 2 months off the forum have been quite relaxed. I stopped all types of clearing and everything and just let the sub play while thinking about it as little as possible. Then sometime last week I took a peed here b/c I was curious about how you guys are doing and my mind's been more or less wrapped up in subliminal-related thoughts ever since :D So I don't plan on posting too much anymore, because I want to keep my head as clear of this stuff as I can. To keep myself from interfering with it.

Stage 4 was basically nothing. Didn't notice anything, didn't feel different in any way. Listened to the sub a lot. Nothing overt about stage 5 either, except I was getting quite pissed of how girls are about things. Mostly social conditioning-related stuff and some shit men they expected men to put up with. I thinks its lessened a bit now, though.

What I've been noticing in the last month(s?):
+Attitude to sex is very open. Not afraid to go physical or sexual and I haven't had any bad reactions to it. This can have a lot of other sources as well, e.g. blackdragon's book, sex 3.0 and others.
+Honesty increased. Has to do with the above. Its like I know what I like and how I think about things and I feel good about saying it out loud in a normal, friendly, manner, even if I think the other person will judge me for it. I've been getting a lot of respect for this lately from some women I know.
-Sex drive has been low. In fact, I've been a bit worried about it lately. Though it does light up when necessary. I was hoping to be able to have more sex per week, but that has not happened.
-Still can't get myself to approach nearly as easily as I'd like to. It just always seems difficult. Though when I see a *really* hot girl (my type), I'm almost guaranteed to talk to her at some point. Much harder to approach less-than-stunners.
+/- Sex isn't really a top priority anymore. I enjoy it, and I feel restricted b/c I still don't have too many options with it, but in a way I just enjoy connecting more than "sex", even if it is during "sex". Sex has been really good by the way.
-Stamina and performance have not increased as expected. I have been doing exercises, practicing and testing, and there is progress. But I still have to be pretty careful to slow down and not get tunnel vision. Btw, I've noticed something clearly: if I think "porn" I'll come very quickly, if I think "love/appreciation" the buildup starts to release. In practice, I'm alternating between the two.
*/- I have an extremely low tolerance for any bs from girls, which is good, but also my persistance is really really low, which is bad.

I started meditating every day. I use the Headspace app, which is great for me. This time it has really helped me notice some straining and resisting that I guess I'm doing out of habit and anxiety when I'm out, and then I kind of make fun of myself for it. For trying to be so "alpha" (body language), or for being anxious, when both are so stupid and useless reactions. I'm already alpha, I don't need to try. Seems that's a good way for me to let go and then I'm happy and stuff flows, I'm feeling like a fortress. I guess for the first time, now I can *really* say that I got a lot of attention when I was out clubbing yesterday, almost sober. Two clear accounts of girls pushing their girlfriend to dance beside me, girls really noticing me in weirdly obvious way and some other stuff. I've also been running into some exes that seem way into me. This girl I haven't seen in... 11 years or so said she was just thinking how I've been doing the other day, whaaat?!?! lol Anyway, hope this continues. I have been going out once a week and drinking a bit, but now I'm shifting back to twice a week and sober. Did it this weekend and the learning aspect of it is much better. And I feel so happy after, and if, I get the momentum going when I'm sober :) Clearer, less tired.

IDK, its pretty hard not to think pstec messed with the program in the earlier stages. Because stuff like increased sex drive and OAA didn't stick properly. There were some short periods where I seemed to get attention, but then it died down. Could also be that I was too involved in the process and a whole host of other reasons, who knows. Wonder if it affected my run of AM6 as well (maybe from stage 5 or 6, don't remember).

A little over a month remaining.. I'll rerun either AM or SM next. I think I have a much better understanding of what AM actually represents now than I did when I was running it - what e.g. self-validation and supplying your own love feels like and how its beneficial. That stuff, including EPRHA, is definitely something I feel will really stabilize and enable me. But then now, especially if I'm starting to see some results with SM, I think it could be good to rerun it now, back-to-back. I think Shannon told someone (Sarge) to try running AM back-to-back to keep the momentum going and not stop just when things start happening. Makes sense. Also, I remember being VERY bored with AM6 the last time b/c nothing was happening for months. I remember feeling better about it sometime after stage 4 or so. Also #2, the summers here are great, but these winters suck balls with how dark and antisocial it is all the time, so I'd much prefer running SM during the summer than winter.

Anyhow, that's my overly long update. adam - Not cheating on my main Lioness, because its allowed ;) Just have to wear a rubber (which I would anyway)

Thought you were dead! Lol, good to see you, and I think it's a great idea to distance yourself from the forums. I'm getting there myself.

Thanks for the update.

Ha, thanks! Truth be told I almost had to handcuff myself to something to keep myself out of here some times, but I managed.

Oh, and 1 more thing. I've been thinking about my Mission, or what I'd like to do. Not really interested in raising children. For now at least. Nor am I really driven towards the the day-to-day life with the serious GF/wife, nor a life a clubbing all the time or working all the time. I think what I'd really enjoy, for a time at least, would be to find some job where I could travel a lot and work with my laptop. I'd be interesting, very challenging on a personal level, and I'd always have some future trip I'd be planning. And yes, I'd be hitting on chicks there :) It'd still have to be a steady job, or my own business. Couldn't count on random elance jobs or something like that and it'd need to be a good income. AM/BASE..

(01-25-2015, 08:37 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]Ha, thanks! Truth be told I almost had to handcuff myself to something to keep myself out of here some times, but I managed.

Oh, and 1 more thing. I've been thinking about my Mission, or what I'd like to do. Not really interested in raising children. For now at least. Nor am I really driven towards the the day-to-day life with the serious GF/wife, nor a life a clubbing all the time or working all the time. I think what I'd really enjoy, for a time at least, would be to find some job where I could just grab my laptop, travel to another country and work over the internet for maybe 1-3 months and 2 times a year. Most of the year I'd live where I live now, keep my friends etc. I'd be interesting, very challenging on a personal level, and I'd always have some future trip I'd be planning. And yes, I'd be hitting on chicks there It'd still have to be a steady job, or my own business. Couldn't count on random elance jobs or something like that and it'd need to be a good income. AM/BASE..

Sounds like a good idea, I want more freedom as well. Thinking that if I master seduction I can be a pua or something and get paid to have sex with women. Maybe I'll become a pornstar one day, who knows, but my "mission" is women lol, it's so obvious to me now.

Stage 5, day 2. Nearing the end, so I've thinking a lot about what to do next. But before that:

-Forgot to mention, but sometime during stages 4 or 5 I had two extremely easy cases of sex. The first was a woman who approached me at a dating site, then came directly over to my house some days later. The other one was a girl I talked to at a bar. Both were average-cute-looking, but slim (my preference). It later became apparent that the former was way too conflicted about sex (horny as hell, but all kinds of issues against it), and the latter was clingy, inexperienced and... well, physically too tight to allow entry, lol. Yes, I tried. Twice. With lube. Dammit :D So, had to let them go.

-During the previous 2 weekends, I randomly met 4 of my exes, 2 of which said that they had just dreamed of me yesterday or the night before. All were very positive and I hooked up with two of them. Havne't seen any of them in months and one of dreamers I last met 10+ years ago. Another one I made out with a few times from the past just accepted the friend request I sent her months ago and we have a date planned. Haven't chatted up that many new girls though. Seduction with these girls I already now seems to just happen by itself. With new acquaintances they'll seem flaky or something and then I'll lose interest and stop texting. I should pursue more.

-Feeling pretty confident lately. Light. Been doing 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation for several weeks in a row now. I'll often notice that I'm resisting something and then just observe it until it changes to a smile. Body language is much better and more natural than it used to be some 2-3 months back.

-I made the decision to watch some porn again. The last time I jerked and came to porn was.... I'd have to check but either pre-AM6 or during the early stages. So that's about a year ago. Thing is my sex drive has drifted pretty damn low lately and I've been worried about performance to the point where nothing was even close to happening with a woman last weekend. We brushed it off, relaxed, and sometime later I got over it and we did the deed. I think it must be that I've just gotten too mechanical and meditative about it, practicing infrequently without porn for 15 min hand + 15 fleshlight. I was worried about diet, but then I tried some porn and got a rock-hard E in a few seconds. Now I'm putting some 20-40 min clip on and going with the STU (with a condom, because I still sometimes get nervous about them) for that length, controlling my pace and stopping when I need to.

------------------------------------------------------------

-And yeah, I'm torn between options for what to run next. What sucks is that what I primarily wanted from SM was the self-development stuff (confidence, eye seduction, sexuality, performance, stamina, drive, OAA) that's in the first 3 stages and a lot of that didn't happen. I don't now if it was because of the pstec I was doing (SM is probably hard enough already without so much interference), or because it just didn't stick. The external manifestations will pass in time, so what I'm really interested in are these internal changes. Maybe another run-though now, back-to-back, would bring those about? No idea if have a "strong-enough AM base", but e.g. OAA is even sold separately so that module at least should still stick even if I hand't done AM6 at all? Same with increasing my sex drive etc, how Alpha do you have to be?? Or is it the case of "if something is resisted, then everything is resisted"? Also, I feel fine and I only had some negativity during stage 5. I've only done multi-stage programs so far, so a single-stage 5G would be interesting. Maybe it'd work much better for me? Lacking in options though.

Anyway, I'm planning to run AM6 again 6 months from now, so I have a few options for what to run during this summer:

1) SM3 -> get OAA, sex drive, sexual performance stuff, continue with the manifestations and have a fun summer ;) Could be boring if it still didn't work properly.

2) 1-3 months End premature ejaculation 5G + 3 months EPHRA -> get PE handled prep for AM (I want to do whatever the f. I like for 20-30 minutes and not stress about PE or EQ).

3) WM2 -> Looking at the bigger picture (lifestyle), I always thought of SM as just a stepping stone to get to WM. Not sure if I'm over that stepping stone quite yet though.

Stage 6, day 5.

Feeling good about this stage. Seeing a bunch of girls suddenly again and I actually have little interest in them right now because I'm overdosed, lol. Stamina, performance and drive are actually pretty ok for now at least. Not superman-level by any means, but I'm enjoying myself. Pretty damn tired.

I've been thinking about it and I'll most likely be going for 2nd AM6 run-though after SM. Still undecided if I'll do 1-3 months of EPRHA before that or not. It'd probably be great and I'd like to try a single-stage, but I'd also like to get those 1st stages of AM6 done before the summer. Plenty of time to think still.

I like AM because its all about me and it all aims for long-term self-improvement, happiness and empowerment. SM and WM have so much manifestation in them I feel its like cheating or slacking off. Like when I much younger I used to occasionally take creatine to buff my muscles up, but I didn't really feel good about it because it was all cosmetics - I hadn't really done the work to get that gain and I new it'd go away as quickly as it appeared if I stopped using it. And also, I feel this is an important time in my life to really start carving out the lifestyle I want for myself and AM seems like a really comprehensive and helpful aid in that.

Oh, and I feel like singing a lot for whatever reason. Not in public but in the house.

Lol, I hum in public nowadays!

For me tho it's just the opposite: SM is pushing me to really buckle down on EVERYTHING in life. AM was so wishy washy for me.

(02-07-2015, 12:41 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]For me tho it's just the opposite: SM is pushing me to really buckle down on EVERYTHING in life. AM was so wishy washy for me.

You are right of course. Looking at AM6 on paper it seems like what I'd want now, but actually for the first time in a LONG while I have a much better sense of what I'd like to aim for and I feel I've grown a ton during SM. I think a lot of it had to do with the honesty stuff. Had to get my thoughts and feel for "me" together to ignore that slight disapproval that's usually people's first reaction when I'm open about controversial things. I'm now working daily towards a new direction career-wise, feel more empowered and my body language is much improved. Definitely didn't get this with AM, though maybe its what started it all and now SM was just keeping it up? Blackdragon's book helped too.

Gah, I don't know! :D I'll see how you do on EPRHA and go with what feels good when the time comes.

(02-07-2015, 01:33 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ]I would love to have a chance with a woman that is too tight!!! Almost every woman I sleep with, I politely explain what kegel exercises are and politely ask them to do their kegel exercises for our next encounter!

lol, I bet you're getting some warm smiles from them :D The 1st time I met her I was sure it wouldn't be a real issue if we'd have proper privacy and lube, but nooope. Kind of a deal breaker - imagine if some couple were to wait until they were married and then that happened... Another female I saw a few times was just on the fence of being too tight, so (after the 1st oops) I had be careful not to slam into her as the initial resistance suddenly went away. But after that it was fun, like there was this tight ring moving up & down my shaft.

(02-07-2015, 04:11 PM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-07-2015, 12:41 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]For me tho it's just the opposite: SM is pushing me to really buckle down on EVERYTHING in life. AM was so wishy washy for me.

You are right of course. Looking at AM6 on paper it seems like what I'd want now, but actually for the first time in a LONG while I have a much better sense of what I'd like to aim for and I feel I've grown a ton during SM. I think a lot of it had to do with the honesty stuff. Had to get my thoughts and feel for "me" together to ignore that slight disapproval that's usually people's first reaction when I'm open about controversial things. I'm now working daily towards a new direction career-wise, feel more empowered and my body language is much improved. Definitely didn't get this with AM, though maybe its what started it all and now SM was just keeping it up? Blackdragon's book helped too.

Gah, I don't know! I'll see how you do on EPRHA and go with what feels good when the time comes.

Yeah SM all the way lol. Results are results, and promises are just promises, know what I'm sayin?

But yeah I look forward to EPRHA much, I'll check in if there's anything to report, unless my life gets too awesome too handle of course lol

(02-07-2015, 01:33 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-04-2015, 06:41 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]It later became apparent that the former was way too conflicted about sex (horny as hell, but all kinds of issues against it), and the latter was clingy, inexperienced and... well, physically too tight to allow entry, lol. Yes, I tried. Twice. With lube.

A woman told me she had the same problem of being too tight when she first got married. It took her husband ten different tries before he got in. Honestly, I'm glad you shared this... I didn't believe her when she told me her story.

And my former supervisor once told me that in his Army days. Everyone was envious that he was banging this hot chick and no one believed him either when he claimed she was too tight, even with lube. Everyone was envious and NOTHING happened because he could not enter!! I believed his story because it was the second time I had heard this dilemma, and I believe you since you are the third.

I would love to have a chance with a woman that is too tight!!! Almost every woman I sleep with, I politely explain what kegel exercises are and politely ask them to do their kegel exercises for our next encounter!

There is one thing that most guys don't talk about : girth. I think it's an important aspect when you consider the girl tightness. I notice that when I tried condom for the first time, I took the regular size and it hurt me as hell. I came shortly after because it was too tight (the condom). Even when I take some condom describe as "large" it's too tight (56mm/2.2inch). Actually the first time I tried them it didn't hurt because I was too young, ~16 maybe. So my di** wasn't full size yet I guess.

A lot of people don't even know girth exist, it's hard to measure, you can add the fact some penis are not straight. Media rarely talk about it, they just talk about size/length. Which matter less according to some, girth is more important for obvious reason unless it's extreme like too short or too long. I don't want a 20cm/7.8inch for example or 8cm/3 inch.

If you guys want bigger size, check out the bathmate. :o

I wouldn't worry about a girl's tightness tho, she'll eventually accommodate you, she has to because if she's going to push a baby out one day, she's physically GOT to.

(02-08-2015, 04:12 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]If you guys want bigger size, check out the bathmate. :o

I wouldn't worry about a girl's tightness tho, she'll eventually accommodate you, she has to because if she's going to push a baby out one day, she's physically GOT to.

You could see it like that but during pregnancy her body will be preparing for all that anyway (dilation etc).