Subliminal Talk

NICE!
That is one of the most annoying issues in night life..
With the right kind of state-screaming anything about the friend leaving works great. Even
"GET THE F-OUT OF HERE"..very counter intuitive lol.
Last night I was bringing a girl away from her friend-and the friend asked if she was sure she was going to be ok...and I told her I was going to "rape and abduct her", exaggerating her concern to the extreme, and they laughed and I went home with her friend.

Stage 2 - Day 34,


Had a long day yesterday. Had a look at an apartment with a buddy. Going to move out tomorrow with him into central city for february month!

Went to crossfit later and felt over-tired in a good way when I went into the city.

I was euphoric in the beginning of the night and it was like everything and everyone I put my attention on I gave "love" to but as the night went on I lost it by getting into my head. It is inevitable unless I keep meeting new people all the time until I am in the "zone" and I am able to do unbelievable things...

Met up with two friends in a bar later. Not many people there. Around 1AM the bar got filled up with girls and some guys.

There were 4 girls that took seats at a table beside us. 30 Minutes in I go over and talk to two of them. The two others were in the bathroom. They were very open, norwegian girls, just staying for the weekend in a hotel.
They acted like little girls who were almost into everything if you led the them. They asked me where were the good places and where we were going etc.

Suddenly they said, where are our friends? and they went somewhere else, found them and moved to sit in another place of the bar. I thought I said something totally stupid or something.

Anyways me and my buddies were sitting in a spot where you have to go past to get to the toilet. I noticed that the norwegian girls went on the toilet one by one now, instead of two and two.

Then one of the girls, who I could sense wanted to hook up, touched me on the overarm as she walked past. They were two though and 3 minutes after they had pasted me I walked over to let them know that we were going soon and they should come.

I see them surrounded by a CROWD of guys and I was able to tell the two girls I hadn't really talked with.


So I went back to my friends. My state was not great at all. I was over-tired and I didn't feel the feeling but I have promised myself to meet women I found attractive. Spotted a cute girl who locked eyes and walked over to her.

It goes something along like this:

Put my hand forward, "Hi, my name is xyz"
her: "I'm abc"
me: "I saw you and I thought you were really cute. I want to get to know you"
her: "Ohh that's so sweet of you. How old are you?"
me: "why? does that matter?"
her: "yes"
me: "take a guess"
her: "I don't know"
me: "just guess"
her: "I don't know. How old are you?"
me: "Too old. Are you always asking guys you meet how old they are?"
her: "yes"
me: "I'm 22"
her: "ok I'm 21"
me: "how has your day been?"
her: "it has been good.. actually I'm just here with my friends (4 female friends) and I'm not looking for a guy tonight"
me: *cant remember* thought okay I'm going now, but then she began
her: *asking me questions* then said at a point, you are really not my type anyway.

I don't know what went on with that interaction. Either she was being polite or she was just testing me.

Her friend came, who I tried to meet before but didn't happen and they whispered to each other and I stood there in limbo for 10 seconds and walked away, back to my friends.


Later the girl who touched me on the arm came past again with her friend to the toilet and this time she touched me again.

I caught her when she were walking back but she got involved with my buddies as I wasn't directly focused on her as she asked me once again where we were going.
I was very passive as she talked with my two friends because I really just wanted to take her and make out with her and I almost did but didn't. My friends bored her and I was unable to lead her :S

Later I see her being taken by a guy and the 4 girls left with the guy and his friends.

I was SO disappointed in myself and I couldn't stop laughing how ridicules I was. I lost the girls because I didn't have bigger balls and my friends became also extremely bored afterwards.

Big balls wins. Shit! The lesson of life man...


Beginning stage 3 today

I was thinking "How insane is it that when I first started out WM after ending SM, I had a girl send her friend home and leave him just to be with me? And I also had different girls that showed and did things that they wanted to f*** me. And now it's like a different ballgame all of the sudden?"

It was totally effortless with the girls that came up to me. Now it's more about my ability to express my intent and stay grounded.

Lionmonkey,

Check out a book called Mode One by Alan Roger Currie, he is all about being upfront honest and straightforward with your intentions with a woman from the beginning (called "Direct Game" in pick up circles). No small talk that leads to knowhere or being lumped in the friend zone by a woman, just straight up honesty and being sexual from the beginning.

A guy on WM using Mode One would be very interesting indeed

Woman Magnet 2.0 encourages exactly that sort of interaction already. I think absolute honesty and unashamedness in intent is the best way to get anything you want in life.

That's not to say that simply walking up to an attractive woman and stating that you want to have sex is going to get you anywhere, there is of course a thing known as tact, and the right way of expressing yourself in the right timing and so forth.

But owning your desires and intent and being absolutely honest is very important.

In the last few days I have had a woman go from wanting to be friends to "I want to be friends with benefits" specifically because I was blatant and honest with her. I told her... I think it would be insane for us to try to have a romantic relationship, because we disagree vehemently on some very core issues. But I don't think either of us can deny the fact that we have the sexual gravity of a black hole pulling us to sex when we are together. I think we should either be friends, or friends with benefits, and let it be what it is."

Her response was relief that I didn't want to get romantic, and an enthusiastic agreement of the suggestion for friends with benefits.

Now, that's not to say I will act on it... but this is an example of what you're calling "direct game". Women love it when a man is straightforward and honest with them, because then they can trust him. And if a woman trusts you, a door opens up to many things that were not possible before. Including sex.

I don't know when guys are going to "get it" that absolute honesty is the ONLY way to really succeed with women.

^^^^

Absolutely. Also, girls aren't stupid, if you approach them, they KNOW you want to have sex with them, so theres no point beating around the bush with boring small talk, plus it shows her that you have the cojones to be honest and upfront.

and when you are, they respect you, on top of trusting you. Again, doors open...

Stage 3 - Day 11,


I've been living here in my new apartment for a week now and I love it! Even though there are only 1 table, 1 sofa and 1 bed, it is 3 minutes by metro and I'm at where all the bars are. Everything is just nearby. I've always wanted that.

Besides learning guitar and working out, lately I've put my focus on being my own validator and being present in the moment. I wrote a pretty great piece about self-actualization few days ago.

- I feel much more sure of myself. There are still some uncertainty in me and I think it will never really go away. It's more about how I handle it.

I realize again and again that you have to TAKE what you want in order to get it. My only dilemma is that I'm not always sure of what I want. Big no-no.
I'm sure one reason could be a contradicting belief I have of not needing things but to a point where I become confused if this is needing or just wanting?
Another one could be that I have to create new habits of taking action whenever the possibility is right in front of me.
Sometimes it's also just me having too superficial standards.

I may just say f*** it and mess things up to see where my balance is. But on the other hand, I feel no need for others to validate me. I'm fine with me and I only do things when I feel it.
For example, today lectures finished, I walk my way to the metro and two from my class was right behind me. I did not look or say anything to them and they walked past me.
From outer perspective it can seem like I am a strange guy but does that really matter? Well.. in the matter of building relationships, it sucks. But if we have a shared striving for something then there's mutual understanding. Maybe they are just insecure, or maybe they are just not cool people. Doesn't really matter. It was an observation from my side. It didn't change a thing in me.

I may just also have become like Eckart Tolle LOL


I wrote a pretty great piece about self-actualization few days ago.

Quote:- In a world of chaos, of extreme external stimuli, it has become extremely difficult to maintain the connection with yourself. It is a harsh world and it fucks with you. The world is making you blinder as you grow older and older, and you might even not be aware of it. Most people aren’t. Without the connection with yourself, you are basically controlled by external factors. You look, whether consciously or unconsciously, for something that will make you fulfilled.

That’s all good James but how do I understand it without examples?! I have heard so much of this, ”You are already whole. Do not care what others think. You do not need anything else than you etc.” but I just don’t understand it!

I’m glad you asked!

We are human *BEINGS* and therefor we are meant to just BE. (Don’t get me wrong. The human mind is one of the greatest assets we have. Just not when it comes to meeting women)

When we are BEING we do not let all these small thoughts and negative bullshit affect us and we do things from our deeper self. If you are thinking, “OKAY! I DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME” repeatedly, it is forced and it is not coming from BEING but rather thinking.


This is actually very Zen. I’ll give you three random examples:

1. Scenario: (environment)
- You enter a bar/club. There’s loud music, lots of people and so much going on.
What happens to you as you enter? As time goes on? Do you get sucked in? Or do you maintain your sense of your own reality?

2. Scenario: (people)
- You randomly met a girl that you might like. You are having a great time. She’s an attractive girl, the kind of girl that most guys would turn their heads for. You are having a great time together.
What happens to you if she suddenly leaves? Do you feel like, urgh.. now what? Or do you think, “she was fun” and maintaining your own sense of validation?

3. Scenario: (daily life)
- You just got a new job that you wanted. The first day on the job the manager tells you that your job is to wash the dishes. The job article said that you only had to clean up the tables though but you need the money in order to pay your rent.
Do you think what the fuck? Who is he? I wasn’t applying for this crap! Or do you think “ohh well.. I have to pay the bills”?
Or do you think, “alright, let’s get started”?


All in all, it is about acceptance and centeredness. The naturals, the ladies man, the great seducers all have this.

So how do you get this? How do you accept and become centered?

The overview: Become aware of it. Consciously try to maintain your own reality and feel good within yourself. Do not do anything else than consciously be in your own relaxed reality. If you have never done this, it is going to be hard to not let external things affect you.
I’ll give you 2 exercises that can help you with it:

A short exercise: Take a deep breath for 5 seconds. Imagine a beautiful sunrise. Do you stare at it? Do you look for validation from it? No. You appreciate and really enjoy it. You accept it. That’s what is NATURAL! You are centered and you are enjoying the moment. There are NO THOUGHTS in your mind.

Then as you become into the moment, from there you can do whatever you want. The negative bullshit is all gone and you are just enjoying your own company. Whatever happens happens. You are going with the flow.

One of my friends, a good guy, who was having depressions, after have gone out and met women, became scared of going out and meeting women because he put too much expectations on himself and on how the night is going to be. He hasn’t been out socializing for a month now and asked for my advice. I could totally relate because before in time I was having a depression every three months or so myself. I told him about what I have realized, and that’s why I look so calm and in my own world.

Now we had been in the bar for a few hours and my friend hadn’t met any girl who had committed. 5 minutes after he did the exercise, he met a hot girl, who committed, out of nowhere.

In the meanwhile I had a stunning girl and her friend come up to me and said that one of them knew me. They were touchy and giggly. “Ohh! It is his name!” but as I just stayed there and enjoyed my time they suddenly began to say, “Don’t play so cool” and they left the interaction. I thought that what they did was weird but I realize again and again that many girls are just insecure.
Right after a businessman I had met before comes to me and talks about an opportunity, which he thought I might be interested in. The girls were still standing near me but were too afraid to reinitiate.

I can sit still and be very non-social for some time but still have girls respond amazingly open when I decide to speak to them or when they ask me something. Even though my friend is doing all the talk and with him, it is like them versus him but when they speak to me it is like they are little girls. Why?

It is all about the feelings. It is mastery of your mind and your mind controls how you feel (besides motion is emotion). It is a sign of strength if you can handle whatever comes your way when you are YOU. You are not trying, just being. People sense that.

A long-term exercise: Meditation. Use meditation as ground pillars for feeling good within yourself and cleansing your mind. I advice to sit comfortable with back straighten, shoulders back and relaxed, hands on the laps or on each other with the tummies connected like the Buddhist way.
Do it for 15-30 minutes every day and you will live a much more joyful life. Do not force anything but let it be and focus on your breath. Let go. When thoughts arise, notice them and accept them. Do not try to control them. Let them pass by. Then try to focus on your breathing again and eventually you’ll have a clear mind again.

As you become more and more in tune with your deeper sense of self, you begin to really do things for your own sake without hesitation, and you do not compromise yourself because of an environment, a needy guy, a hot girl or whatever.

I will leave you with an extra tip:
When you look for signs of interests, or indicators of interests from a girl, you are essentially looking for approval. It is just a more advanced kind of validation seeking.

You do have to calibrate of course and you can only learn that by experience “Experience will teach you everything”

James

Stage 3 - Day 13,


Happy Valentines Day!

Bought a rose and wrote a little note,

"Dear xyz

This rose is to you for the love
that you have shown for me

James"

In my own language. I left it at the doorstep of a former one night stand girl which was very cute.

Then I bought a bouquet for my mom.

Changes I've noticed,

- Sometimes I can just be really relaxed and check a girl out and really feel the sexy energy.

- Women respond more respectfully to me

- I see women give subtle signs that shows they give me an open window to go talk to her. It's first afterwards when I think about it that I notice, "ahh.. she wanted me to talk to her"

- Much less needy, I do not think about the negative anymore. I find the fun in "rejections"

- I feel balanced most of the time, only rare occasions I go into my head and really regret I didn't show up. That I wasn't true to myself

- More comfortable around women, more comfortable touching women I haven't met before.

- Women notice my gaze and sometimes they'll look two-three times while I enjoy their femininity.

I think I was looking for changes all the time which resulted in a confused stream of thoughts. I expected more than what I was willing to do because I somewhat had a mixed sense of underlying fear of getting out of balance and relying on the subliminal.

Going downstairs to work-out and then take a nap and later hit the bars. I have a feeling of women who needs some aphrodisiac tonight

Stage 3 - Day 16,


I'm very grounded. It does lead to not showing up sometimes. I'm very non-reaction seeking but I still have conflicts with it.

In situations where I've been stagnant and when I sense that I want that girls attention or "She's cute but..." I think "am I reaction seeking?"

The feeling is like, if I say something here am I seeking a reaction?

That's when I have been chilling in the same space for some time that I get these senses and thoughts.

When I think about it, the most natural reason must be a sense of not feeling like I am enough. But what I really think it is, is that I fear that I am trying too hard - even though I try very little or none most of the time. Then I just block it out and keep myself passive and it's fine.


Anyways, besides that dilemma, when I speak, I speak like I am very sure of myself. A woman told me, "you sound like you are very sure of what you are saying"

I feel like I can be very honest with girls I have just met to an extent.

I've noticed I am also very creative when a girl and I am comfortable with each other and there's attraction.

I had one of these nights where I got pretty drunk with a buddy and I lost my grounding and my own sense of reality. In the start I was on fire but after a while I got rejections after rejections. I do think rejections affect me less and less each time I get rejected.

The next night I am in totally chill mode. This made me look more real and easy to approach.

The following week is going to blow up!!!!

You're in the calibration stage. This is where you're new to the thing you're trying to do, or fairly new, and you're trying actively to figure it out. In calibration, you should expect to make mistakes unless someone is actively teaching you. Mistakes are you teaching yourself. Welcome them, because they show you how not to make mistakes. But don't try to make mistakes if you can do otherwise.

Just remember that everybody makes mistakes now and again, regardless of their level of experience. But there's no such thing as a mistake that doesn't have the gift of knowledge within its grasp. If you look.

You have got me thinking about something interesting Lionmonkey.

I used to be really reaction seeking, I would say and do all kinds of mental stuff just to get a reaction. Crazy cocky and funny stuff when I was reading David D and such.

And now that I think of it, I got a lot of girls back then.

Now I don't seek reactions as much, I don't feel the need as I have matured and I don't like drama but I don't seem to get as many girls anymore.

But the girls I do seem to attract aren't as crazy. When I was really seeking reactions and being mental I attracted mental and crazy girls.

-Ben

(02-01-2013, 07:20 AM)LionMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Stage 2 - Day 34,


Had a long day yesterday. Had a look at an apartment with a buddy. Going to move out tomorrow with him into central city for february month!

Went to crossfit later and felt over-tired in a good way when I went into the city.

I was euphoric in the beginning of the night and it was like everything and everyone I put my attention on I gave "love" to but as the night went on I lost it by getting into my head. It is inevitable unless I keep meeting new people all the time until I am in the "zone" and I am able to do unbelievable things...

Met up with two friends in a bar later. Not many people there. Around 1AM the bar got filled up with girls and some guys.

There were 4 girls that took seats at a table beside us. 30 Minutes in I go over and talk to two of them. The two others were in the bathroom. They were very open, norwegian girls, just staying for the weekend in a hotel.
They acted like little girls who were almost into everything if you led the them. They asked me where were the good places and where we were going etc.

Suddenly they said, where are our friends? and they went somewhere else, found them and moved to sit in another place of the bar. I thought I said something totally stupid or something.

Anyways me and my buddies were sitting in a spot where you have to go past to get to the toilet. I noticed that the norwegian girls went on the toilet one by one now, instead of two and two.

Then one of the girls, who I could sense wanted to hook up, touched me on the overarm as she walked past. They were two though and 3 minutes after they had pasted me I walked over to let them know that we were going soon and they should come.

I see them surrounded by a CROWD of guys and I was able to tell the two girls I hadn't really talked with.


So I went back to my friends. My state was not great at all. I was over-tired and I didn't feel the feeling but I have promised myself to meet women I found attractive. Spotted a cute girl who locked eyes and walked over to her.

It goes something along like this:

Put my hand forward, "Hi, my name is xyz"
her: "I'm abc"
me: "I saw you and I thought you were really cute. I want to get to know you"
her: "Ohh that's so sweet of you. How old are you?"
me: "why? does that matter?"
her: "yes"
me: "take a guess"
her: "I don't know"
me: "just guess"
her: "I don't know. How old are you?"
me: "Too old. Are you always asking guys you meet how old they are?"
her: "yes"
me: "I'm 22"
her: "ok I'm 21"
me: "how has your day been?"
her: "it has been good.. actually I'm just here with my friends (4 female friends) and I'm not looking for a guy tonight"
me: *cant remember* thought okay I'm going now, but then she began
her: *asking me questions* then said at a point, you are really not my type anyway.

I don't know what went on with that interaction. Either she was being polite or she was just testing me.

Her friend came, who I tried to meet before but didn't happen and they whispered to each other and I stood there in limbo for 10 seconds and walked away, back to my friends.


Later the girl who touched me on the arm came past again with her friend to the toilet and this time she touched me again.

I caught her when she were walking back but she got involved with my buddies as I wasn't directly focused on her as she asked me once again where we were going.
I was very passive as she talked with my two friends because I really just wanted to take her and make out with her and I almost did but didn't. My friends bored her and I was unable to lead her :S

Dude. You took this the wrong way. This woman in fact did want you but she sensed rejection as you were going to get up and walk away, possibly also with the way you were interacting, she didn't want to be faced w/ rejection and instead made it look like she was rejecting you. When she saw you weren't hurt by it she came back after you.

"and I'm not looking for a guy tonight" that's like a woman saying "I will not fuck you tonight". If they say that...you will get fucked Lol. Watch the movie, Spread

Ben - it's an interesting thing. I had just realized though that it is totally OK to be reaction seeking BY INFLUENCING THE PERSON YOU WANT A REACTION FROM BUT YOU DO NOT CARE IF THEY REACT.

Before I would think, should I say this or not? Is this reaction seeking or not when I was in certain situations.

Now it's more, hell yeah. I say what I want but I do not care what kind of response I get.
There's also the "I do what I want" but that's what I have to practice now.

It's fascinating that it's always the basic principles that you experience over and over again in different levels and depths...

Ryan Wrote:Dude. You took this the wrong way. This woman in fact did want you but she sensed rejection as you were going to get up and walk away, possibly also with the way you were interacting, she didn't want to be faced w/ rejection and instead made it look like she was rejecting you. When she saw you weren't hurt by it she came back after you.

"and I'm not looking for a guy tonight" that's like a woman saying "I will not **** you tonight". If they say that...you will get ***** Lol. Watch the movie, Spread

You mean the girl who asked about my age?

I really thought she was sincere because I was extremely sincere. But then again, I was extremely tired and I just did what I did. Maybe I missed some subtle signs of flirtation. I don't know. Didn't try to be entertaining.


Stage 3 - Day 22,


I've stopped thinking so much about myself in a good way. I've actually stopped thinking much about myself.

Better start doing that again before I get totally lost! Maybe it's because I'm trying to unidentify myself with identities.

Tonight I was thinking of myself consciously that I am sexy. Not much happened though.

Went to a bar with two of my buddies, jumped to the next one just beside and there were two girls they knew. One of the girls went home with one of my friends two weeks ago.

I didn't get introduced at first. A while later the girl my friend had been with immediately asks me, "what do you do?"

I told some fun stories of what I did and held my pokerface throughout most of the interaction. The girls began to ask my friends what I did. They told them that I was buddhist monk, etc. They believed most of it. Had a crack from that.. the most fun of the night I think I rejected the other girl who bought me a beer, without me knowing it.

I'M SO BAD AT GETTING THAT GIRLS ARE EXTREMELY AFRAID TO GET REJECTED! :S I don't know how many times I've unintentionally rejected a girl but when I think back there have been plenty...

Later some guys comes over and my friends and them begin to battle over the girls.

The girl whom my friend had been with comes over to me and tells me that. I tell her well.. you've already chosen who you are going to be with.

She's like, "who?" putting her full attention on me.

I tell her come on! and that it's so obvious. She still wants to know and she have no idea how I know.

Then I tell her that it's my friend of course. You look at him like this O.O and she's like "I didn't knew!"

"It's good that you aren't conscious of it.. because it can quickly become a game"

"yeah. I hate games! ... I like you.. you are clever" looking at me like she did with my friend.

From there I knew I could lead her and kiss her but my friend was standing beside looking at us and she weren't attractive enough for me to be true to myself if I did get sexual with her so I let the moment fade and they began to talk to each other and after a while started to make out