Subliminal Talk

Oh man, yes it sounds like she feels betrayed because you got up and walked away. Perhaps, you were too focused on the sex side that she felt like she was being used as a cum dumpster for yourself. One way I treat them when I am with them...I'll act like they are my legitimate girlfriend while I'm with them and away. So that means, show them they can trust you and that you really do care for them, because I believe as a man who is having sex with them you should. The difference though is that you can always leave if you need to without looking back. Women are great and a lot of fun to spend time with. I had feelings for all of them I've had sex with but it never meant I needed to be with them.

(12-05-2012, 01:30 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Sex is a big deal, especially for women. Being drunk may mean "being drunk enough to make a decision I wouldn't make when I was sober". It doesn't necessarily mean she can't make tea. Her making you tea may have been a little way for her to say she cares about you.

Moving to sex that fast is a good way to destroy a relationship's potential for anything other than sex. If she has sex with you that fast, the issue of respect comes up. Does she respect you? Do you respect her? Does SHE respect her? If you want sex only, there may not be an issue. But if she wants more than sex... there WILL be an issue if you move too fast.

In the moment, her sexuality may be in control. The minute you bust a nut and walk away, she's left with... what? Feeling taken advantage of? Used? All the times people told her only sluts and whores do what she just did (or allowed to be done to her, as the case may be)? That's why she went cold afterward.

YOU made the mistake of assuming only sex was involved. You also made the BIG mistake of leaving 10 minutes later. That screams "you were just a piece of **** meat to me" in her mind. Why would she want to see you again?

If you wanted her to be interested for sex, you should have made sure she was either damaged and expected to be treated the way you treated her (she wasn't/didn't), or that you made the experience pleasurable and enjoyable for her and took her feelings and value into consideration. It appears you didn't do that either.

Hence... she concluded that she made a mistake, you only wanted a **** toy, and she wanted more than to be used for **** meat. End of story.

Shit.. You are probably right! I had a sense of it was something like that but you wrote it clear right there. This is very valuable to me, thanks man...

I did however text her,
"As said, I care for you and I am not just someone who looks after sex.. Sex is something I enjoy doing with someone I care for. Hate you for being so sweet and for making tea to me. I'm happy for the time we have had together. I think you are a pretty great girl "

"Lets do something together sometime in this week. We can meet on a café if you don't trust me "

which she replied,
"Wont you please stop contacting me? As said, I want to forget it all and it is a bit difficult when you keep writing"

me: "Yes. I'm very sorry if I have hurt you. I just don't understand..."

her: "Thanks. I am not hurt, just a bit scared..."

And then I got curious again, which was stupid and I sent her a farewell text.


What a f*** up :S

(12-05-2012, 01:47 PM)Ryan Wrote: [ -> ]Oh man, yes it sounds like she feels betrayed because you got up and walked away. Perhaps, you were too focused on the sex side that she felt like she was being used as a cum dumpster for yourself. One way I treat them when I am with them...I'll act like they are my legitimate girlfriend while I'm with them and away. So that means, show them they can trust you and that you really do care for them, because I believe as a man who is having sex with them you should. The difference though is that you can always leave if you need to without looking back. Women are great and a lot of fun to spend time with. I had feelings for all of them I've had sex with but it never meant I needed to be with them.

Nice way of looking at it

well you just learned yourself a lesson

That is where persistence is key. Even though she said "stop contacting me" she also made it sound like she wants you to come make her feel better and comfortable about it all. I would have been a little more calm, confident, and persistent with it if you really wanted to see her, kinda like making it seem like you understand her but like she is somewhat afraid for no real reason. Instead of dismissing it and saying "ok bye". It's a good skill to learn.

"Wont you please stop contacting me? As said, I want to forget it all and it is a bit difficult when you keep writing"

"Why stop contacting you?" (she spread out why she is so upset)

"Well there's no reason to be afraid, I get afraid to but I also realize life is too short to be afraid, I want to take you out for dinner next week, we'll have a great time together, sound good?"

She may have some more hesitation in which I'll make it seem like it's a completely ok situation with no pressure on her part, just casual and make it sound like it'll be a blast together.

Thanks for the suggestions.. I appreciate the feedback! Some skills I need to master yet

Going to let my brain cool down and watch On Her Majestys Secret Service...

In your situation, LM, I would probably let her go unless you want to make her your girlfriend. But if you are interested in being serious with her, persistence is your only option. You have to repair the damage you've done. To do that you have to start by recognizing what you did wrong, letting her know what you recognize was a mistake, and communicating that and a sincere apology. Then you have to let her know you want to be more than friends/lovers. All this involves skill you almost certainly do not yet have. So unless this is a threat for you to have your reputation destroyed, I would probably either just leave her alone, or let her know you realized how what you did made her feel, and apologize before leaving her alone.

Remember that every woman you have sex with WILL tell other women about it. And if you get a reputation for selfishness or being a bad lover... well, it's no soup for you with any woman she tells.

You must be careful and consider her point of view in all this as well, my friend. Unless she wants to be treated like fuck meat... be considerate of her.

Once again, thanks a lot for the suggestions. I'll definitely be more considerate of the cute girls I'm going to meet in the future...


Stage 1 - Day 13,


I have felt very disturbed yesterday and today. I think it is because lately I haven't been thinking/focusing on my goals but just enjoyed the moment and relaxed.. kinda drifting in my own world of moments.

It may also be the fact that the girls I've met went bad and I must have had some "highs", subconsciously, from them wanting to be with me and now when they don't want to see me I feel a bit down.

I got myself another lesson, women are very fragile/touchy to the sex topic. I made a slight insinuation for sex with the 26y old and she replied back with something more sexual but next morning she wrote a goodbye text, that she may have set our hangout at her place for more than she wants.

Today I just didn't feel it. Not like last week and the beginning of this where my gratitude shined through and people looked at me everywhere.
I did put a smirk on my face and was grateful but I didn't feel it from my heart.. it was a bit fake but I wouldn't want myself to slouch down and look like someone who was sorry for his life. I was also very vulnerable today...

I am having one of these days where I'm lost and with no sense of direction or purpose. Somewhere in my head it tells me, "go out and meet women tonight" but I really, really do not feel like it at all.

I was also planning to go to some crossfit yesterday and today after school but I just slept over and didn't want to go at all.
The shortest and best way I can describe it is, my joie de vivre is non-exsistant...
This is something I experience sometimes and it makes me think that I am an unstable person :S (before in time I would play video-games or watch a movie to forget about this absurdity but after have stopped playing + being on WM, I have no excitement in doing it again)

It might be the fact that, my father never showed me a way of living and he never learned me anything. Though he is very kind to me and never really asked me for something.

I better sleep on it, even though I feel I am already assuming that it wont help. I need some kind of purpose I find purposeful or else I will wander in thick clouds...

What you're experiencing is the joy of learning the hard way. You have the gate open now, and you rushed out and got slapped down a time or two. Now you know some of what you need to know to succeed.

As you continue using the program, you'll find that you achieve a state of naturality and balance that allows you to enjoy women without needing or wanting anything in particular. I think part of the issue is that you're going out with expectations and intent for sex. When you don't care, they can't get enough. The program will guide you.

Shannon, I think I may have a silly-high expectation for the girls and if they don't meet that I just can't care enough to spend more time with them and when they retaliate, I get a bit down (depends on the quality time we've had together) because of it.

I realize that girls are very different and are to be found in extremely different colors and flavors.. I think I must remind myself that girls are humans too and I am not perfect myself.. well I'm not thinking that way but I do consider some traits better than others but a girls sincere desire weakens my standards on personality traits (maybe this is just a reflection of me not having been with enough girls to know what I really want in a girl)


Stage 1 - Day 14


I'm extremely sore today. Feeling like a old man. I can't even bend a bit forward!

Having not really trained for the past month, I went to crossfit yesterday. It took the life out of me and I was sore the rest of the day.

Me, two of my buddies and a girl one of them is seeing, took out to our regular bar. I was extremely tired and didn't even know why I went at all. I was in a state of dizziness, where everything around me was hazy and only what I looked or focused at would have my attention and awareness.

I get a lot of eye-contact with girls sitting around. There was this group of 6 girls sitting at a corner table. Some of them looked at me from time to time and I could just feel it. Some turned their head to look too. Because I was so tired, I had no energy to have fun with my buddies so I positioned myself around the 6 girls, just to see what could happen.

At a point the blonde girl who seemed like the leader of the group locked eyes with me and motioned with her head and facial expression like, "nahh ahh.. you don't got a chance here". Whatever.

Nothing really happened, so I got over to them, for the sake of just doing it, without any expectation but also without any form of giving energy because I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation at all. I couldn't even with my friends.

I asked, "can I sit here?" there were two seats free which one of them replied, "you can sit there and pointed at on of them".

So I sat and I just observed them talking. They were ignoring me. I knew 2-3 of them showed non-verbal interests when I was positioned near them though.

Last girl, which was also the least physical attractive came and took the seat beside me and one of them said, "he's your new boyfriend".

I sat for 5 minutes and then I went back to my friends. Nothing interesting happened.. well I tested it out at least

Another interesting thing that happened was the girl my friend is seeing.. if my friends weren't there, I'm almost 100 on that she would take action to make something happen between us.

I felt that I had a sense of control of how our "relationship" could turn.

Then there was this another girl with her friend at our table, which one of my friends have slept with. He wasn't there tonight and the things between them have gone bad.

So at a point I hear her say something like, "I think I want him..", which her nice-guy friend said, "Then take him! He's right there!" She looked at me many times but I was too tired and she wasn't worth it. It ended up with her hooking up with my other friend which was hilarious.

Ahh.. all in all.. a decent night


Going out tonight again with a body, feeling like an old man to celebrate my birthday when the clock hits 00:00!

Happy birthday.

Next time remember that overdoing it in one direction will impede you in another. You have to have enough energy to socialize effectively.

Happy Birthday Lionmonkey!

The good thing is that you did it despite their reaction, I bet that felt better than you would have if you didn't approach.

Happy Birthday, my friend.

Happy Birthday LionMonkey! Your progress is definitely inspiring!