I like that very much
Stage 3 - Day 23,
I'm hangover as I'm writing this. My thoughts are not clear, yet when I focus on my thoughts I can quickly become consumed in them and really feel like I AM EXPERIENCING THEM. Then I snap out of it and I realize I've just come out of a trance or something...
I find this interesting. When I haven't been drinking and my thoughts are more clear I have a harder time to meditate than when I had been drinking and let loose the day before.
Feeling weak though. Not much masculine power in me right now, yet I feel I can really love and appreciate a beautiful woman because I am feeling very care free. Maybe it's the estrogen from yesterdays alcohol...
Yesterday I used much of my time with my brain turned off. Just relaxing, chilling, no thinking of school, projects, anything!
When I went out I felt I could socialize very easily. I felt no social pressure or tension.
As the night progressed I met more girls. My focus was on the right spots. I gave good energy out to people I met and socialized around a bit.
There were 3 girls I met that I thought was great:
Girl 1: a girl me and my buddies had met before. She was in this little club/bar with some friends. An open and sexual girl with a look of innocence. I could feel an insecurity from her by the way she sometimes tried to take the lead and not relax in her femininity.
Half an hour after meeting her and her friends, I put my hand forward and told her to come up with me and dance. She accepted. We went to the dance-floor and then she asked me what I did. I said, "you are asking me that now?" she could see it was nonsense and we began to dance. Some dirty dancing, close and intimate, sexy and a bit wild.
She was like, "ahhh ahh" when we were really close to kiss. I held my ground and it happened a few times. Then she said, "shall we get something to drink?" and we went back to our table.
She took the last seat spot available then stood up and let me sit on it and then sat on my lap while she talked with some guys.
I didn't want to put all in on her, especially when she didn't wanted to kiss before, which would have amplified our attraction to each other and it would be a win-win thing instead of a draw-draw thing, so I stood up and took a tour around the venue.
Girl 2: As I'm walking through this other small room (actually the same room where a random hot girl came up to me and asked me if she could kiss me because of a bet with that guy over there for a drink which happened two months ago),
I hit eye-contact with a beautiful blonde girl and I'm walking straight in her direction.
Can't remember how our interaction started. Something like she asked me what I did and I told her I studied social dynamics and female psychology. She suggested that we moved to a table just nearby, away from her friends.
So there was this average guy standing by himself, who I had a talk with before.
The girl asked me, "tell me something about those two" and pointed to the guy and the girl he was with.
I told her that they were lovers, boyfriend-girlfriend. She was amused. She told me she knew them and that the guy was crazy, that the guy hit the girl (hot girl) and the girl can't get herself away from him. That she was too weak.
She asked me what I thought, and I said I can't tell. I've only spoken with him for a very little time.
She had many friends there, coming one after one and all of them were girls. The guy and his girl came to say goodbye and as he stands there the blonde was intensely focused on him (I don't know what it is but I've had girls tell me that some guy is weird or something but when the guy comes by, she focuses all her attention on him. I got a feeling of that they want that guy to f*** her but I'm not 100% sure)
The guy stands there and ignores her, talks a bit with me as we looked at another guy saying farewell to two cute girls.
He was like, "That's so meaningless!" I sensed he was a real caveman (an approachable one)
Now many of her friends was gone but she was still there with me. I wanted her but she already told me she's got a boyfriend but she didn't want me to leave. Said I was beautiful and cute and I told her likewise.
Told me I was her new best friend then denied it because she just lost her best friend two months ago, talk talk talk..
Asked me if I had a girlfriend and why not. Told her I didn't like obligations and that I have to be with a girl for quite some time before becoming exclusive...
I was very sexual throughout the interaction. In the end I told her that I have to go now because this is going to end bad. I couldn't keep myself away from her. I said she could find me if she changes her mind.
She told me she really has to go pee and asked me if I was going to stay there and wait for her.
I denied and as she left she said, "you have a good heart. you are a good human."
The bar/club was closing soon and my friends were already headed to another bar to drink some port-wine! Love that stuff but gives headache next day! Worth it though.
Girl 3: We are sitting and playing some dice. Suddenly a blonde ask us if her and her male friend could join us. I said sure immediately. Usually I'm very slow at that. When they sat and I got a good look on the blonde I was stunned.
She introduced herself and I gave her a compliment immediately in front of everyone which I usually don't do.
This woman was the most beautiful woman I've seen since I can't remember. She stole my heart by her exuding femininity and the way she looked. She must have been around late 20's start 30's.
I couldn't keep myself away from her either. Shit. I was exuding desire for her when we interacted. She told me she was seeing this French guy, who she met while she was in Taiwan doing work. I really didn't listen to much of what she said because it didn't matter.
Anyways she was going home and I just saw the beginning of "Spread" before I went out, it went something like this:
me: "you are going home, alone?"
her: "yes"
me: "that must be lonely!"
her: "nono, I live two girls [little details about the girls]
me: "let me follow you home"
Can't remember what happened. I hugged her gave her a kiss on the chin and she gave me one too.
I was persistent but I could have been more persistent. Actually with all the three girls, I'm sure something more would have happened if I kept going.
Damn, this girl was heartbreaking... if every woman was like her heaven would be on earth!
All in all, an awesome, f***ing great night!
If you have any suggestions on my experiences, please let me know. It's always interesting to see a more experienced persons perspective on this stuff!
Stage 3 - Day 26,
Just came home from a club. Haven't been there in a year. Good memories came back.
I felt extremely great tonight. Had a kick-ass workout yesterday and felt satisfied today.
Went to the club with my roommate @ 23.30
People weren't extremely on yet and the girls were open to your influence. I put my hands on some girls lower back and hips as I walked through the crowd on the dance-floor. They liked it, some didn't but didn't matter.
I just talked fun to different girls around me. They liked it. I was providing them emotions but most of these girls weren't girls I was attracted to. It made me more loose though.
Went to the bar at a point and there were this girl giving me her glass for a refill of beer (yeah, free beer till 01!) so I asked her who she was and took her hand and almost got her to the dance-floor with me but she went to her friends as they were just sitting beside the dance-floor.
So I'm like having fun. Met a few cool guys and hit on the girls hard!
As time went on people were more into the music now and the room started to be more lively.
I've never had so bad responses from girls before in my life.
Very confronting: "Go away!!"
I'm cold like, "What?! I'm me! I like you!"
"Just go away! You are not my type"
"You are not my time either."
blablabla and they left. Making a total scene out of it. I thought she would hit me or something but I stood strong.
Right after I went over to three girls and I'm like, "pffft.. some girls are just not fun!" Two of them ignored me and the last one was listening.
Well that was my lowest point of my night and I almost let the thought of that I am a loser, a creep, creep into my mind but no! There's no reason I am not enough. My emotions didn't change much at all.
So I kept going to another place of the dance-floor and kept looking for girls to have fun with.
Not that I wasn't having fun myself but I knew I had to take action in order for something to happen.
So I grab girls with my hands around them or put my hands on their hips etc. and I get avoided time after time. I got a sense of the girls just aren't fun there. Just not cool.
It was like after the night went on and some of them got all their attention from the guys, so their confidence has sky-rocketed they were like, "I'm better than you! You just a guy".
So I'm like f*** it. I've almost went to every girl I found attractive enough and initiated contact and re-initiated contact but they are running from me and I'm not even drunk!! I'm just me! Most of the initiation were physical from start.
I felt I did the right things and my focus was on the right spots, like "There's no reason I am not good enough. I am a sexy motherfucker. I love women. Yeaaaaah!!"
Anyways, my roommate asked me if we should leave and I tell him to give it 5-10 mins.
So I take a last round through the club and I saw a cute average tall brunette sitting by herself besides the dance floor and I walk over to her.
She's like, "nono I'm boring"
I'm like, "let's change that!"
And I spilled some of her beer on her..
Her: "Nono I'm boring and wet!!"
Me: "Well.. Let's change that to fun and wet!
"
She laughed and bottom up'ed her beer and we went to the dance-floor.
I noticed immediately she was looking after someone, so I moved her and we swapped place. We began to make-out and it got sexy.
So a bit dancing, some more make-out. I got low on her and up. I noticed she was still looking for someone so I asked, "What are you looking at girl? I'm right here!"
She then said, "Actually there's a guy I really like in here and I shouldn't be doing this."
Me: "No it's okay. He wont see us" or something like that but she was like, "I'm sorry!" and left.
I'm like what the fuck? Not emotionally changed but state changed a bit. So I went back to a girl I had gave a quick compliment on her smile before. She saw me and the other girl make out and the other girl leave.
So she was like, "NO! Get away!" just like the first crazy girl who was extremely rude.
I'm like pffffttt.. who do you think you are!!
So eventually I left with my friend, got a pizza and went home.
I don't know if this is the way to go. First time going so crazy physical on girls and getting so many bad responses. But also first time where I influenced the environment "sexually" more than I've ever have. It feels good to know that I wasn't passive that I did my best to initiate contact with girls on the dance-floor. I've never done that before.
I almost thought that I must have been a really creep when none of the girls responded positively but eventually when the girl I made out was positive, I sensed that it must just have been most of the girls and not me.
LM, I see you out there trying, and making the approaches, and you have my respect for that, but you're making a lot of mistakes. Some of which I can see in your reporting, and some I probably cannot.
The first mistake I see you making is, you're trying too hard. This screams "desperate" to women. You have the willingness to approach, but your approach is wrong, and it's turning them off. You also need to remember that different types of women congregate in different places. In my area, there are places I can go to find ghetto girls, hicks/cowgirl/redneck types, foreigners, young women, older women, cougars, easy women, poor women, rich women, low class women, high class women, middle class women, gay women, bisexual women, straight women, artsy women, barflies, smokers, non-smokers, heavy drinkers, light drinkers, teetotalers, MILFs, egomaniacs, and others. Do you think maybe I adjust my approach to the type of woman I am dealing with? If I approached every woman with the same approach, guess what happens? It turns into a numbers game, and house wins, not me.
Skilled hunters don't hunt every type of game with the same technique, or the same tools. They adjust for the terrain, the climate, the game and other factors. Unskilled hunters try to hunt elephants with a rabbit gun, or rabbits with an elephant gun. Guess what happens when you do that? I'll tell you what. You get trampled by a pissed off elephant, or you blow your rabbit all to hell and there's nothing left. It's the same thing with women. You're out hunting every kind of game (girl) with an elephant gun (very aggressive and direct, but un-calibrated approach).
Some girls require finesse to approach effectively. Some need a ridiculously aggressive and direct approach. Some need to be talked in. Some need to be touched in. They're all different, and you can't get far with a blind approach. You have to observe your game, determine what type of game you're dealing with, and what she's telling you about herself and her response to you. You have to adjust your approach to match the woman. Not yourself, but your approach.
You also have to stop approaching every woman who looks slightly interesting to you. This is probably a big part of what's getting you blown out. When you do this, women will see you do it and label you what I call a "down the liner". A guy who asks a woman out, and she rejects him, and then he goes to the next one, and she rejects him, and he does this with all of them and they all reject him. And they do this, because if the first girl rejects you, they will all be judged by the other women according to the social status and response of that first girl and the impact that will have on their own social status and reputation.
So let's say, like the typical guy, you look around and find the hottest girl in the whole place, and approach. She shoots you down. Then you go to the one you judge to be the second hottest, and get shot down again. Then you go to the third, and fourth, and fifth and so on. And they all shoot you down.
Why? Because first of all, you probably went straight for the highest status woman in the entire place, and did it the same way every other guy has done it for the last 3,000 years. She's seen it, heard it, and been there and done that. She knows you better than you do. She wants something different than "just like all the rest", because the leader is going to be the one who does things differently, and who stands out. So she shot you down, and in that moment, you had a choice to make. Do I keep trying with this one, or do I give up for the night, or do I move on to the next one?
The average guy women in a club encounter does the last option. The guy they really want and respond to does one of the other two, depending on his skill and style. If he is very skilled and of high status himself, he will turn her rejection around on her and either blow her out, or get her to reverse her decision. Trying with a woman who is high status who has already blown you out is going to be suicide otherwise.
So the other thing an experienced hunter will do is stop there and just enjoy himself in the otherwise available ways. This leaves him with having been rejected by the highest status woman in the room, sure, but it also implies that he is of about equal status to her, because he did not go approaching the lesser women also. A woman will judge your status by the status of the women to approach, and their response to you. So if you go "down the line", you're just progressively saying you have lower and lower value, because you have lower and lower status. After all, high status guys go for only high status girls.
You're also broadcasting that you're desperate, because a man who isn't won't approach many women. He will spend time selecting the one he is really interested in, and then approach her and her alone for the night, or at least while all the women who observe him do so are present. If he gets shot down, but then has a good time and does not approach anyone else, he is being judged to have a status lower than the woman he approached, but not by much. He therefore becomes MORE desirable to the rest of the women in attendance, and if they are of equal or lower status to what they judge him to have, they will want him more -- not because he got shot down, but because of how he handled it, and himself after the fact. Getting shot down is one of the shit tests a woman will give to see what you're made of. If you respond appropriately, you can actually increase your success and status because of it.
A desperate man scares women away, and earns himself a very low status rating from women. At that point, only a low self esteem/low status female will respond to him, if anyone does.
And last but not least, you're insulting the women by doing the "down the line" thing, because that says that none of them is really special to you, you just want to fuck anything that will let you. It says none of them have any value to you beyond what's between their legs, and does not make them feel good about themselves, special valuable, important, worthwhile, etc. That is a turn-off on top of a subtle insult.
So it is no wonder to me that you had that result.
When I go out hunting, I will spend time observing the females in attendance before I pick ONE I really am interested in, and then I will approach her and her alone while I am at that venue, or for that day.
For example, let's say I go out to dinner and I sit at the bar. There are attractive women all around me. I order my drink, and my food, and I casually chat with the bartender and maybe the person next to me, and I observe the females for a bit. I select the one who I find most attractive. Then I watch her, read her face, body language, voice, personality, etc. as best I can, and I assess whether or not she is worth my efforts to pursue. If I conclude she is not, I consider the next choice, and repeat, but I am doing all of this in my own head. Nobody knows a thing.
If and when I find a female who I find attractive enough to pursue, and who I believe is worth the effort (not taken, right age range, right attitude, someone I can approach successfully in the styles of approach I know I am capable of, etc.) then I will get her attention and talk to her. Or, I might get her attention and get her to approach ME.
All the while, I am completely disconnected from the outcome, because I am enjoying her company, and it does not really matter what happens. I have nothing to lose if she's not what I thought she was, or taken, or uninterested, or whatever. I'm just enjoying her company. In other words, I don't have an agenda. Women can smell an agenda, and it's an instant turn off.
So let's say I like the bartendress and I like the woman sitting to my left. And the woman sitting to my left passes muster and I get her to open me. (Curiosity is great for that.) And we start talking, and she continues to pass muster. And she's showing signals of progressive interest, and I am matching her signals, and she's now comfortable showing them because she's getting the same back, and she knows I return her feelings and therefore there is minimal risk. So she escalates. Meanwhile the bartendress is observing me do this, and HER interest is being piqued, because she was interested, but has a job to do, and she can't stand there with a bar full of people and flirt. So now she sees me getting interest from this woman, who she has judged to be of equal or higher value to herself, and she is aware that the woman opened me, and all this is increasing my social value to her and increasing her interest and attention.
What I am doing now is making them both respond, and if they notice that, they'll start giving me spiralling positive social proof. They each keep giving me more because the other does. and that is how you get women to compete for you: once your perceived social proof is high enough, they will begin competing. It may be very subtle in the beginning, based on their personality, the circumstances, the place, and your level of social value in their eyes, but they will compete.
But more often than not, I only have one woman in my sights, and I don't pay attention to the rest. I don't try to get them to compete. I just focus on that one woman, and she knows I am serious, and she will see that I am only interested in her and it becomes an unspoken compliment. I am in effect saying, "You are the most beautiful, sexiest and most desirable woman in this whole place, and I am not interested in anyone else in the slightest, because you have captivated me so completely." And this is a compliment she will happily accept and believe, because A) she wants to believe that she is attractive, and B) she is observing your actions say it, and actions always speak louder than words.
And again, if she shoots me down, it's not a shoot down, it's just an opportunity to display my status to everyone who sees me get shot down, by responding the way a high status man would respond. It only makes me more valuable, if I respond the right way.
But once I have selected and approached, I never approach another woman in that venue or on that day, with only a couple exceptions. I'll give you an example.
There's a restaurant at which works a specific woman I find attractive. She's not the most physically attractive woman I ever saw, but she has a beautiful attitude and personality, and she has an absolutely amazing backside. She also was displaying significant indicators of interest to me, and I was very much enjoying talkingto her. So I thought about it for a while, and how she made me genuinely feel, and then I wrote on the back of my business card, "You have enchanted me beyond my ability to resist. Please do call me very soon." and gave it to her.
This made her day. She knows she's getting to middle age, and she knows there are other waitresses who are younger and get hit on more. So do I. I selected her because the overall package she presented was very attractive in multiple ways, not just sexually. She was worth my time because she had something worthwhile to offer me in a number of ways, and because I knew that she was interested, and very unlikely to shoot me down in a negative way, even if she shot me down.
Her response was to disappear for a little while, and then she came back out with a huge grin on her face and said to me, "I am currently in a relationship, but I will keep your card in the event that changes." So basically, she had to shoot me down to be faithful, but she didn't want to, and she let me know that by saying she would keep the card. It was also a gentle way to turn me down.
Now realistically, I know that a woman who is taken, and who is turning me down because of that, is not going to call me. So I don't sit around waiting for her to. I move on, because I know that because she is faithful, she is even more valuable than I initially assessed her to be, and therefore, is not going to be very likely to be single any time soon.
But the point is, I can never again approach a woman in that restaurant as long as she has it in her head that I am still enchanted, without making myself out to be an asshole, liar, jerk, scum, etc. in her eyes. And while I am still enchanted, I am also realistic, and I am not going to wait for her. So if there is another waitress who works there, whom I wish to try for, I now have to get her interested enough to approach me... and then I don't look like a two timing jerk.
I also cannot ever again use that specific method to approach, because women talk, and who knows who knows who? Doing the same approach to two different women and getting caught is just going to get you shot down. They don't feel special anymore. She liked my approach because it was unique, genuine and was not given to anyone else. Every approach should be like that, if you can do it.
If I am at dinner and I see two women I find interesting, I can only approach one in front of the other because of that same thing. If I go back the next day, and the other one is by herself, I can try again, but it has to be done very gently. Especially if it was her friend who shot me down. In fact it's almost not possible to get a woman to agree to your approach if her friend shot you down, because she has loyalties to her friend, and she also does not want to lower her value in the eyes of her friend by accepting what her friend rejected.
But now I'm rambling. Hopefully you see some of the points I am making, and this is of use to you in the future.
I like what you are saying Rainbow.
She's giving you a punch and you deflect it and suddenly you are on the same team, nice
Shannon, that was a lot! Thanks though. I can clearly see what you are saying.
Haha, I really like how you take it to a level of extreme observation and darwinistic
it's great, good stuff...
To elaborate a bit:
The dance-floor was definitely not a place to talk and that's why I did what I did. I did not look for any signs of interest before I would dance over.
My mind was like, "no logic, no logic, fun fun fun" so my "method" to keep my energy up was just doing stuff all the time, without having the time to think. Mostly noticing how my energy was in my body.
Like, I was standing in the smoking area with my buddy and two girls came and smoked. I thought of fun.. so I said,
"You know smoking is bad!"
"hehe we know"
"BAD!"
"..."
"BAAAAD!"
The more attractive one looked at me lingering. The less didn't know what to do
I guess focusing on making my actions determine how I wanted to feel and how I wanted to influence, made me too uncalibrated to the girls responses?
Hmm..
Also thinking about the social status thing has never really been a focus I've had. I have always been more concerned with how I felt.
Very interesting...
I see that I just have to be a bit more passive and stop keep fueling my fun from my actions with the outside world. Just more laid-back on nights as these.. lol...
Stage 3 - Day 30,
Yesterday night I was out with the main focus on myself, not to have fun and entertain but on that I am the source of my reality, I am the source of my
value.
Nothing outside can or will give me value. Only I can create it within myself.
It turns out you become a bit like an "asshole" when you have that. It's like the having something going on in your life feeling.
I felt like the man as I walked into the cocktail bar. Greeted the people I knew and found a spot at the bar where I did my own thing. Ordered an old fashioned and enjoyed it fully.
The bar was shaped like a horseshoe. While I moved to the music I noticed a lot of attention on me from time to time on the other sides of the bar.
I moved around the bar a bit and sometimes small-talked with people standing besides me.
I remember a particular girl this night.
An hour in as I walk around I notice a lot of girls smiling to me. I was on my way upstairs to get some fresh air. Hit eye contact with a bit tall, beautiful blonde with the greatest little ass on the stairs and we naturally talked. Holding hands for 10-15 seconds as we exchanged names, standing in the middle of the stairs, people walking past
Talked a bit. Asked me if I was going to this club afterwards.
me: "probably not, it costs 100 and it's a place where you have to know people before it's fun"
her: "you know me..." (like, hey.. you know me.. you know ME!)
Her friend was also really cute and she looked at me more lingering but she knew that her friend was hotter and she went for me so she was more passive.
I asked her if she worked there
her: no, why
me: since you asked me if I was going there
Anyways, a bit later I was near the smoking room, a great song just came on, checking myself out in the mirror. Then I noticed the blonde in the smoking area and we hit eye contact again. She stood with her friend and some big guy that just had started a conversation with them. She motioned for me to come over so I did.
I asked her for a cigarette and she's like "do you smoke?"
me: "no, just party-smoker"
her: "so you are 'taking' cigarettes from girls?"
I looked at her like, yeah?
her: "it's okay.. you asked nice"
me: "I'm always asking nice
"
(It felt like the roles had been swapped)
She asked me if I like to dance, if I am good at it etc.
I asked if they were going to the club when the bar closes and she said yes.
Then she asked me, "where do you live?"
me: "10 minutes away from the central metro"
her: "that's nice"
me: "yeah, I've just moved there [short inspirational talk about my excitement for this great apartment]"
her: "do you live by yourself?"
me: "no I live with a friend"
Then she slowly turned away and went to the toilet with her friend.
Pretty direct of her. I was 100% sure that if I did live by myself, it would have ended differently but this isn't the end.
As the bar was closing, one of my friends who works there found two wristband for free entrance to the club, so he gave me one. Nice!
I met the girls outside the club as we stood and waited to be let in 50-100 people. We didn't get let in the first round and some people left. The two girls were walking away and I ran over to them and asked where they were going.
them: "to xyz club"
me: "oh okay"
her: "you are not coming?"
me: "nahh"
Second round 10 mins after, we got let in. I see the girls came back.
Fast forward 1 hour in, I notice the blondes friend dancing dirty with some guy she has found. We hit eye-contact. The blonde came over to me but her friend immediately took her attention. Then this tall guy got her away from her friend and they began to start dirty dancing.
After a while she came over to me after almost kissing with the guy and told me that the guy is weird. Why did she come to me after the intimate dance? Never know.
I half-assed my move and as I was going to grab her the guy also came and took her. She was more responsive to the guy after the emotions that has been involved between them or maybe it was just because me half-assing it.
They began to dance dirty again and eventually she was leaving with her friend. The guy got a quick make-out but only because he was persistent.
Later I saw the same guy looking all worn out at the bar. Like.. puff.. girl gone.. happiness gone.. what a shame...
I would had really liked to get to know this girl better but the circumstances just didn't allow it. Also I think I sensed that I would be too needy and miss my feeling of value if I tried to take her from the guy.
That's the thing when I'm all chill and stuff that I rarely take much action to manipulate the circumstances in my favor. I'm just really passive but when I'm put on the spot where there's a conflict I usually take great actions...
All in all, it was a fun night and with this focus I feel like I'm being more attractive every day there goes
Been to London this past weekend. I was to an event about love, relationships, men and women and excellence in life. It was very great! London pubs are amazing...
I walked through the hallway and this cute girl from where I'm from said, "That's my boyfriend. Isn't he beautiful!" and I give a look back and she's like, "Ohh! he understands me!"
haha
After a night of stuck-up people in this big club I forgot how attractive I am.
Met some cute girls and flirted naturally in the pubs. Had a lot of fun.
girl asking my friend, "where does he live?"
me: "you are not coming home with me sweetheart"
her: :O
me: "I'm on a plane in 5 hours"
outside going to another place,
me: "(something)"
her: "you just rejected me before"
Haha.. I love it when they play a bit hard to get... Found out she also has a guy she's seeing very much, like a boyfriend...
I bought a very interesting book about our thinking as human beings. It is actually mind-blowing how it changes my perception of my reality.
Starting, a bit late, stage 4 today
Being this guy who's like a "10".
Went to an average club yesterday night and met three girls I knew from other nights out. They invited me to sit with them at their table, so I thought why not.
I felt very content and felt like I didn't need to prove anything. I socialized with the girls a bit. I talked with the one girl I knew very little who was sitting besides me.
She's ok hot but I wasn't feeling anything about it. I asked her what she likes to do for fun and she replied, "going out" and I said, "yeah.. lots of people like to do that.. is there anything else than going out?" she thought about it for a while and then said, "honestly, there's nothing. I'm just studying, working, going out"
me: "and you are happy with that?"
her:"yes"
Then we talked about reading, what kind of books. After I told her about this interesting new book I was reading she's like, "excuse me" turned and talked with one of the other girls and said, "he's boring" her friend agreed but only because her friend wants me for herself (she's a really jealous type).
Anyways, I was just sitting there and did really nothing to make anything happen. The girl that said I was boring went to another table with a guy and told the two other girls to come with her but they stayed. I never took it further than a bit talking and little physicality. I think the girls wanted me to lead, to make something happen...
In the end they went to the guys table for a last drink before leaving. I sat there by myself, not feeling very bad but definitely not feeling very good about my inaction and not knowing what I wanted...
The whole situation was not in my favor and I took myself too seriously because of thinking like I had to act like a 10 and were probably subconsciously afraid to put myself in a situation where I could be rejected.
Stage 4 - Day 2,
Had a dream where I was fully naked, stood like a model for others to see. The girls I met yesterday was there and looked at me. I felt slightly self-conscious but surprisingly pretty comfortable with it.
Stage 4 - Day 8,
Lately I always end up with two girls and one of them is always one of the hottest in the club.
How does it happen?
Sometimes because I'm extremely relaxed and just enjoying the music, feeling it. Girls respond to the vibe and sees that I am a guy that can have fun for himself and not caring about what others think and be who he wants to be. Suddenly I hit eye-contact with the hot girl and we are naturally drawn to each other.
Does it mean that we are getting together? No. Not at all but it is VERY interesting to see the girls world because when you are with them and you are part of the group, you see how many guys do these lame things and how many guys swarm themselves around them when they just walk a bit out of the group. It's something different seeing it from the groups point of view.
Other times, I just go over to girls and give them value.
How do you give value?
Emotions.
But my main "technique" when I go over to some girls are, "hello.. my name is James" and they almost always respond positively. From there they see you as a genuine guy and then you can have some fun with different emotions, which girls love.
The thing is when you go over like that is, you are just you, there's no trying to gain anything. You are just exploring what might happen.
Do I only approach a group where I find the girls hot? NO. I'm approaching when I feel bored or when I am aware of I am about to get into my head, I tell myself, "Okay, how can I have some fun right now?! How do I crash and burn? How do I get myself in situations where I am exposed?" I see some girls nearby and I say hello.. and to make it even more fun and ridicules I'll howl like a wolf/dog sometimes
The 3 good things about approaching different groups and not only the ones that you think is worthy of your time (get over yourself) is
1. you get better with women, experience will teach you everything
2. that you have fun, your social muscle gets warmed up
3. other girls see you having fun with other girls which signals status
It's like a snowball effect...
After have been in a group with the girls and especially the very hot ones, I see the lamest approaches and guys trying to get validation etc.
My main obstacle is then now, how do I hook up with the hot one? They both like me and see me as a guy of higher value. We are really having fun together and I bring them value.
It goes very well in the beginning but suddenly after 15-30 minutes of interacting, the hot girl loses interest and is not trying to qualify herself anymore. Seeking value other places.
My take is that I gotta make something happen by leading with intent and if that means chaos in the group, even more fun. Hmm.. what I think is holding me back is that I become afraid of loosing the girl. Even though I am not attached I think I am afraid that my suggestion will not be a reality.
Unstepped fears will drain your life slowly!