Subliminal Talk

Still, there is evident progress here, as last time such a situation occurred (with that composer-pianist dude) it was waaaaay more apparent and distracting, lol.

Hahaha, so upon finishing up my DRS loops for the day, I got a text from my vocal coach saying she's gonna have to cancel today's appointment as she's had some minor accident and she needs to go see the doctor today, and we rescheduled for tomorrow. Could it be..?

Anyroad, used the opportunity to do some solo bardic practice and let me tell you, my beautiful Internet friends, we've got this. Hahahaha.

Went to stalk that conservatory place for a bit today (to drink some coffe and listen to DRS on my earbuds, hahaha. Aaaah, it's good to be bad), ran into quite a number of *very* interesting females, as well as some of my lovely playah gals, including SLA as I was leaving, lol. We said hi. Immediately, I started getting a resurgence of those unpleasant, very wonky sensations beginning from my right foot upward which I remember from previous encounters with this one, heh, and I was internally all "oh NO you don't" and I played another full loop of the DRS, and had to eat something, and it appears to have passed and I'm mostly unscathed and feeling very good. Nyah nyah nyah.

I am also definitely noticing the sniper firing up more evidently whenever I see an attractive woman. I keep getting this sudden pleasant "buzz" within seconds of seeing one I like, heh.

Heh. Went with my vocal coach today and all's good, we did some good work and we agreed that we've got this, I just need to practice it in, lol. See, it's why I love me some DRS - when, f. in., this woman isn't in her "know-it-all MAESTRINA" mindset, she's got actual knowledge about this stuff and tons of skill, and the visible change in her attitude somehow, coincidentally, occurred when she started getting worked by various egotic sonnies who played to her ego, lol (f. in. two beautiful boyos in particular who are also, incidentally, SLA's BFF's "przydupasy", lol, and ever since I got some DRS going they have an extremely wary, somewhat scared expression whenever I happen to see them, heheheheheheh. Oh, ye sonnies!), and - coincidentally - she started getting tons of sonny-action in response to sonnies seeing what kind of results we've been getting. Because prior to that, she was working really, really under-the-radar of the local singing class, lol.

By the by, I think that apart from that planned "The NPD fad and why it's symptomatic - a somewhat Freudo-Lacanian approach to 'narcissitic abuse'" brochure I'm going to woo my Internet step-mommies with, I think I'll also rant out all my frustrations with sonnies and myself at junctions where I allowed myself to be sonned, lol, and create another one, under the working title: "Tough love time, kid - the vagaries of the Oedipal Sonny and how to stop being one, because enough already, FFS"

Yeah, just had a pretty long and serious convo with that director chick who bummed me on copyrights, lol (who is also, incidentally, "dinner girl" from a while ago, hah - as a test, I told her before coming over that we have an issue we need to discuss; obviously, she skirted the issue - so I now know with 100% certainty this one should not be trusted, like, ever) because it would appear that we are going to be working together in a little while. Told her what's the crux of the issue (i. e. me getting bummed on copyrights), she tried deflecting blame on the festival's organizers (and, technically, yes, they are responsible as well - even more so than she is because it's the organizers responsibility to give credit where it's due), and when I told her "Oh, so I'll talk to this and this person as well" she was all like "NONONONONONOON don't!!!!!" lolololo, and then tried to do a "poor widdle me" shtick. Ehhh, showbiz people.

Anyroad, gave her a stern talking to, told her I won't be cooperating with her as a translator no-mo', she apologized, so at least there's that, lol. Still, notice how the little gal was doing her damnedest to avoid confrontation on the subject; I had to force it.

Still, since we have a cast meeting on the 20th with this one and at least one person from what I call "the moron squad", I'm already warming up the DRS, heheheheheh.

Although, to be frank, having to do such kind of shite breaks my heart. I have this heavy sensation in my heart area yet again now. Still, I've been getting a touch of it returning these past several days, but it's most manageable and nothing too drastic. I also get the work-related "psychic attack"-like stuff every now and again, but it's also way more easy to handle (i. e. I notice I'm thinking about related issues, but I'm no longer emotionally involved in it, f. in. I don't experience feelings of anger and frustration I'd usually get).

Lol, director-chick just called the result of our yesterday's conversation "a divorce", oyyy, girl, WTF :rollseyes:

Otherwise, feeling very good, gonna do a little clearing now. On break from DMSI until Sunday. It'd be nice if I could try out that coronavirus disruption collective sub, but I don't think I should, seeing as I'm mixing subs up already quite a bit and the energetic requirements are tremendous as it is. I'll try spreading the word, though.

For some reason, I am feeling extremely hungry all the time since about yesterday, lol. It's probably the energetic requirements of how much DMSIng and DRSing I'm doing. Still, that DRS there is really, really proving to be something. In some cases it appears to be creating something of a "chain reaction" in which whenever some sort of negative crap was/is being thrown at me through various proxies, it seems that it's literally being actively pushed back to the very first, original sender, and then bites them in the butt, hard - but it goes and bites the "proxies" in the butt as well, and when the "proxy" person gives up trying to keep pushing it onto me, they automatically seem to start looking for the actual source. I'm going to have to observe this some more, and perhaps even provide some examples once I'm 100% certain of what's what. Difficult to tell in such situations since I'm not omniscient and frankly I'm using the DRS, for the most part, not to have to bother with such crap actively in the 3D world. But should I be certain, I'll journal it down for sure.

Had one of those sudden "song on loop out of the blue" situations, but I've figured out what it was referring to so it stopped and now I'm free to listen to other songs as well. Keeping on.

(03-05-2020, 11:12 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]For some reason, I am feeling extremely hungry all the time since about yesterday, lol. It's probably the energetic requirements of how much DMSIng and DRSing I'm doing. Still, that DRS there is really, really proving to be something. In some cases it appears to be creating something of a "chain reaction" in which whenever some sort of negative crap was/is being thrown at me through various proxies, it seems that it's literally being actively pushed back to the very first, original sender, and then bites them in the butt, hard - but it goes and bites the "proxies" in the butt as well, and when the "proxy" person gives up trying to keep pushing it onto me, they automatically seem to start looking for the actual source. I'm going to have to observe this some more, and perhaps even provide some examples once I'm 100% certain of what's what. Difficult to tell in such situations since I'm not omniscient and frankly I'm using the DRS, for the most part, not to have to bother with such crap actively in the 3D world. But should I be certain, I'll journal it down for sure.

Interesting!!

Interesting indeed. I'll keep you posted should anything notable occur.

Still not done working through what that "song on loop" was about, but it's, I believe, a very... particular fear of mine kinda "passing through", and frankly I find the though quite disturbing. It's fine though, gotta get rid of it. I won't be linking the song here, but it's "Her Ghost in the Fog" by the lovely Cradle of Filth guys, lol. You can check the lyrics in googlz, should make it clear what it's all about. Good tune, too. Oh boy. Still, feels like I'm releasing it right now.

Back to DMSIng. Interestingly, I'm getting that "feeling kinda exhausted and tired" thing after listening to my loops last night, but it's not strictly physical exhaustion, but more of the "partial resistance" kind of tiredness (a feeling of slight "derp", so to speak). But on the other hand, I'm optimistic that it's a passing thing and actually *feels* like it's going to lead to something positive.

For some time now, I've been feeling very horny (or perhaps rather, erm, "libidinal", lol) but not in a nervous-energy kind of way ("I gotta bone and I gotta do it nownowNOWNOW!!!!!1111"), but more in a chillaxed "oh boy, I sure feel like having tons of sex right now, so if lady's interested... " type of way.

Bardic practice is going swell. My vocal coach appears to be back to her old self for good! Ahh, that DRS <3 She did try to get some intel on my personal life, I think, but I actually had this "huh, you don't say" hunch and then felt the shield power up for a couple of seconds, and then it passed.

By the by, it would appear that SLA's still trying to "bind me" psychically, so to speak (I get these "visions" when I'm in the not-so-deep stages of sleep). Oy, girl, cut it out and let's go have make-up sex already, or something. Lol.

Hmm. There's an increase in derpitude, but it's nothing too drastic (comparatively). There are moments when I have to go home and lay down for an hour or two, though, to let that stuff process. Some strong emotions are coming up, but I'm dealing with them as they come.

What I'm getting from the DRS recently would indicate there's a bunch of sonnies - one incel sonny and one playah sonny in particular - who are are about to get kicked in the butts, hard. About time. The tragedy here is that the incel sonny has been told to cut it out by yours truly at least twice, so... DRS-TIME

Got a translation thing that's been bugging me for some time now off my plate, and I'm not taking any serious jobs of this kind for the foreseeable future as I'm burned out as an academic translator. Also, it's boring. Quick and easy jobs, for sure, but not this kind of stuff. This should free me up to do other things when it comes to things of letters as well.

So, since I have the DRS and effective means of clearing out anything that does happen to push through, I decided to look for something to help out with these "blockages" that keep making themselves apparent every now and again. So I've found a very neat way of clearing that out which employs the chakra system, and I'm focusing on the lower four - base, sacral (not that much in these two left, as the H&C in UMS did quite a bit of work, ekhm, "down there" already, but I did get this very neat feeling of "release" the first time I did it, kinda like what I'd get with the UMS H&C) and also solar plexus and - most importantly - heart. Woo boy. There's quite a bit of wonkiness in the heart region, but it would appear that what I'm doing is working because today I felt really, really neat, good and happy and was listening to Motley Crue, lol. So I'll keep at it for a while and keep DMSIng and DRSing as per the standard protocol. Feels good. I'll go for the higher chakras once I feel I've got the base four up to snuff.

Also chanced into one of my favorite sonnies and now he looked scared shitless, wary enough he knew I wouldn't want to shake his hand, lol.

Locally, people are going bonkers over that coronavirus thing. This month's tour got cancelled even because of that. Even though I'm rolling my eyes whenever I see someone or the government panicking over the darn thing, I don't really mind the tour getting cancelled this month. Why? Because the "moron squad" sonny who's my part-partner decided that he really wants to go this month (he's not done a single tour this season, lol, and everyone's getting salty with him, as they should - 'cuz he's a con-man, is why), and now it got cancelled, hahahahahaha. A side-effect of the DRS? Mayhap!

Hmm. Seeing as half the city's about to go on lockdown due to the coronavirus scare (and all singing facilities and singing-related jerbs, obviously, as well as libraries, lol) I'll have some more time on my hands, so I think I'll try upping the DMSI dosage a touch, to maybe 6 loops. I remember being able to successfully "push through" with an increased number of loops when I hadn't yet added the DRS to the mix, so I guess this may be worth a try.

And if it turns out to not have been that great an idea, I'll have the time to sleep it off, obviously.

Due to the corona-holidays, I'm very, very bored, lol.

That chakra-based clearing option is pretty powerful, I must say, and it goes *deep*. This could work. The plus side of the corona-holidays is that whenever I need to lie down and process something, I can go and do just that.

6 loops DMSI seem to be working fine, I might try 8, depending on how long the lockdown is going to take. I think it's going to be at least a week or so.