Subliminal Talk

Hehe, so last night, that girl I met at work and have been doing artsy-fartsy stuff with (let's call her "G"), calls me up and says she wants to drag me out to her girlfriend's birthday party, supposedly wanting to "show her friends that not all fellow opera singers are insane", lol.

So, I ended up partying, dancing and having fun all night long with a group of rather... luxurious MILFs, lol.

At one point I was chatting with the girl who invited me there, and I told her: "G, your girlfriends are exquisitely beautiful women", to which she said: "Have at ye, you go right up to each and every one of them and tell them what you just told me, because *they desperately need this sort of validation from a proper man*", lol (so that's why she dragged me there, really )

One of her friends (bestie, I think) got... pretty frickin' direct, too. F. in. at one point she just came up to me and sat in my lap without asking, and got even a bit, erm, aggressive with her tongue at the conclusion of the evening.

'twas hilarious. So, the bestie is getting all huggy and touchy-feely with me, and they had a conversation that went something like:

"G, how about I just fuck him. I never did anything of this sort, but I kinda wanna fuck him"

"Kee-rist, you're frickin' married, E!"

"I know, I know, I just kinda wanna fuck him maybe"

"Darn it, I'm going to have to watch you guys"

L. O. L.

And that's just for starters.

All in all, it was a most enjoyable evening and the venue was pretty rad as well (apart from the luxurious birthday MILFs, there were also tons of young cute girls there who were kinda looking at the proceedings as if they wanted to get in on the action too, lol).

Also, at one point I had this sensation that I need to re-up the DRS, but didn't have the opportunity to do so really. "G" instantly noticed that (I think she's empathic) and said "you appear to have something on your mind", and she further assumed it's that "sweet little aristocrat" girl, lol (because everybody knows everything about everything. That little drama queen ). We agreed that a 26-y-o woman should really not be acting like a 12-y-o girl; it was nice to have someone agree with me about it in live conversation.

Most of all, it was really fun to spend some fun, quality time with a bunch of attractive, mentally adult females.

Fun on a bun.

On the DRS front - I *think* the DMSI + DRS combo might even work with really, really game-y types. F. in. at that birthday get together venue, there was this very attractive young barmaid with a very enticing tiny waist - "dat ass" thing going on. At one point, I noticed her flirting with some Playah Sonny (by the by, what I cruelly call the Oedipal Sonny and the Playah Sonny, a. k. a. PUA-expert, is the very same thing albeit symptomatized differently), and intending to start touching him physically while looking at me, but then she got a weirded-out/wary expression on her face and *instantly stopped doing what she was about to do*, lol.

Heh, met with "G" today at work, I felt a bit awkward for a little moment there, lol. She was wearing a shit-eating grin and was all like "what's up?" and that my somewhat-inebriated impression of "Sway", Dean Martin style, had all the girls throwing their panties at me and such (not literally, sadly; that venue is a posh karaoke place; "G" made me do it, lol; "Go sing something and dedicate it to birthday girl, she'll love it! DO IT"). She also was trying to inquire whether I remember "E" being naughty when I was putting her butt in the cab, lol (she was, very much so, that "aggressive tongue" thing, but I STFUd as per "married woman" protocol, lol). They may very well be testing whether I can keep my mouth shut.

Anyroad, "G" ended up inviting me to go with her and her girl-buddies (fortunately, "E" is supposed to attend with her husband this time, lol) to a New Year's Eve party. I think I just might, just gotta find a proper dance-partner, so if any pops out of the woodwork, this could be fun. We also made plans, the entire touring entourage, to go to that karaoke spot in January and stir some shit up (that "wanna be famous" kid was visibly envious for a pretty long moment there, as he was doing his damnedest to get in "G"'s good graces for career-advancement reasons and here I was partying with her out of the blue, but the DRS pulled through yet again. Eh, showbiz kids. This time, it seemed as if he was trying to avoid me in response, and seemed somewhat withdrawn).

That "And then there was silence" song is still going strong on my "neurotic loop" playlist, lol (interchangeably with "Sway" ); heh, I mean it's an abridged version of the Illiad and all that goes with it (the Trojan war, Cassandra's prophecy, Achilles' heel, Helen of Troy, Trojan horse, all that jazz) and I believe it's very significant on multiple levels (also, fuck you Lacan, that Helen of Troy thing... ). It feels really good to listen to it, though, and I enjoy the lyrics this much.

Frankly, it's really quite something that given the DRS, any fears that I may or already may not have are a) a hundred times easier to get rid of, b) *not all that drastic and most manageable in the first place*, lol. Continuing. The ram has touched the wall. No mercy.

I have a heavy feeling in my chest tonight, perhaps some big fear coming through, I guess? It's not coming from the outside, I think, though I'll know for sure once I put on the DRS loops; 10-minute boosts did not rectify this. Does not feel all that pleasant TBH, but I'll admit I've been spoiled by the awesomeness of the past week, hehe.

Anyroad, putting on my loops for tonight and then we're on break until Sunday.

Went over to that girl who invited me back on Saturday; it was pretty pleasant, but also somehow weird in many respects. My gut says - don't bother too much with this one: a) I don't trust her, b) she openly discussed her (very few) sexual experiences, and they sound pretty fuckin' dire. Honestly, I think this girl needs therapy, not sex (and I gently advised I know a very good someone, namely my "psychoanalytic MILF guru", though she'd probably be better off with a proper daddy analyst, lol. There is one in my hot Lacanian sect I'd trust with the job, but I don't have his contact at hand). She did make me dinner which was very nice, and I left my hat at her place so I'm probably going to have to come on over there at least once more, lol, so we'll see.

Yeah, it's mostly my own fears, that heavy feeling. Most manageable. Let's eradicate!

Funnily enough, they appear to have been somehow triggered by last night's dinner-girl playing "Con te partiro" (a. k. a. "Time to say goodbye", lol) as I was about to leave, heh. I now have it stuck in my head a bit; the proper way to go about it is to *belt it out*, oh yeah.

Coooooooon teeeeeee paaaaartiroooooo paesiiiiiii chio non lo so, veduto vessuto con teeeeeeeeeee

(Sing with me )

EDIT

Lol, I mumped up the Italian something fierce. Here's a youtube link! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdx5nGphnAI

EDIT II

It's not even really fear, more like... stuck emotions or some such.

Hints from the DRS would indicate that dinner-girl from last night is a bit salty, as she is currently fishing for an LTR of some sort, and I made it pretty clear that a friendzone-with-perhaps-benefits is as far as it goes with me, lol (and even then I would not be tripping all over myself, despite her physical attractiveness - she'd require an extended period of "therapeutic sex", so to speak, and even though I know how to go about this and don't mind doing it, really, it's kinda... work Right now, what *I* need is a proper woman or a proper sweet little girl, to have some *fun* with for a change, lol).

Something's going on internally as well. After I partiroed with whatever that song was all about, I noticed something wonky happening in my lower abdomen/sacral region, but now it seems to have passed as well.

Went and did that favor for "G" today, got flowers, sweets and even a handful of potato from the peeps that were organizing the thing even though I did not really expect it. How I love working with decent human beings. <3

I'm actually slowly getting used to getting complimented left and right even after performing the vocal equivalent of an armpit concerto, lol. Gonna have to check that ego from time to time!

I got really physically hot today during that short little performance, and it may have been either the DRS acting up or the DMSI sniper acting up. Dunno.

Still partiroing from time to time with the best of them, but now I get a feeling of power when I listen to that song, heh. Like, literally, I start standing a bit straighter.

According to DRS's 2ndry ASRB, I should now take a week-long break. I think I'll do so and just use it for boosting during that period, as necessary. Although I may add a couple of full loops here or there, seeing as DMSI has the NDRS and we're back to that regularly scheduled programming on Sunday.

Feeling pretty spiffy. It's like further stored emotions are being released by way of cheesy song (the best way there is!)

I mean, just listen to this, it goes so deep into "so bad it's good" territory it nearly arrives at a Platonic ideal:



(These guys also have another amazing video for the song "Sweet True Lies", with lyrics of equal literary beauty!  Also, boobies)


Soon enough, I'll end up listening to Bon Jovi, and then we'll arrive at some sort of singularity or something.

Nope, gonna have to keep running dat DRS dere even on off days from DMSIng.

EDIT

As well as with DMSIng. For the time being, at least.

Well I'm glad you like DRS!

It's great! When it kicks in to its full extent, my quality of life improves by about a 150%.

I'm looking forward seeing DMSI built officially for support parallel DRS listening...

One thing... DMSI + DRS is potentially contradictory, and potentially dangerous. Be careful.

I noticed.

I am currently acting under a strict "refrain from doing anything stupid" protocol.