What are your UMS goals EP? I see your statement of frustration with regret, but where are you actually failing, by your own assessments?
You aren't being asked to share them here specifically. But what are your specific goals? When you can name your specific goals, you might see and head towards possibilities to achieve them.
I am an INFP, like you, and idealism is our major strength, though some would dismiss it. However, the ideas, as desirable as they may be, often times have very tangible actions required.
And lastly, you're poking a really big bear in yourself, one which takes lots of time to accomplish. What thoughts or actions feel doable today? Overload, in my experience, shuts me down every time. Be realistic with your expectations of yourself.
Ok, here’s what I think is going on here. You are deliberately fighting the program. Right now you are a guy who makes $0.00 a month. You want to be a guy who makes $6,000 a month. That’s not necessarily going to happen in one step. So any job you get will make you a guy who makes some money which is closer to where you want to be. All you need to do here is put your feet on the road and start walking. Worry about improving your job when you get there.
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Paul1131 Double post.
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findingme I'm not gonna say my updated goals because they're absurdly large, but Shannon himself says not to impose limitations so I've decided not to. What I'm failing to do IMO is discover any means or opportunities which will lead to my idea of UMS, which is quite large.
Aren't you a college student? In order to get the good paying job that you want, you have to finish college. How long do you have to go? Businesses will be hiring extra people right now for the holidays, maybe you can get a temporary job like that. If you fail your classes because you have a job, you still have to pay for those classes and it might add another year to your college. The sub will help you get the ideas you need that will lead you to UMS.
(10-26-2019, 01:16 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]@Paul1131 Double post.
@findingme I'm not gonna say my updated goals because they're absurdly large, but Shannon himself says not to impose limitations so I've decided not to. What I'm failing to do IMO is discover any means or opportunities which will lead to my idea of UMS, which is quite large.
How about setting smaller goals that will eventually achieve your bigger goal? That's what I do...
For example, one of my goals is that I want to build a 20k dollars forex account, so what I did is set up some goals to get to 1k first, then 2k, 5k, 10k, etc...
Day 2 of carpetbombing: I carpetbombed ALL DAY yesterday and have continued to carpetbomb all night last night and shall continue with the 24/7 carpetbombing until my 7th day is up if I can. THEN we'll see if anything new is observed in the bloom! Right now I'm tired AF but again, went to sleep late. Y'all already know how well I think I'm getting tangible results (not at all) so nothing new to update on that. We'll see how this goes with the 24/7 carpetbomb.
UPDATE: So much for the 24/7 carpetbomb. Turns out my phone had just gone the standard six loops and I THOUGHT it had been on repeat this whole time. Which means NOTHING played when I slept last night. I am now playing it on repeat and the 24/7 carpetbombing has NOW commenced.
Day 3 of carpetbombing. Still on 24/7 carpetbombing protocol. An update as to my assessment of UMS however: I realize it must be working better than I thought, because I am having a MUCH easier time handling the friendship breakup situation. At times where I would have beem suffering and depressed before, I now merely feel mild dissapointment/regret. I'm handling it WAY better than I uses to, so UMS must be doing SOMETHING.
It feels like I'm ACTUALLY just moving on.
Just spent HOURS at C.A.R.D. (the place my employment specialist works at) working on an application to become a captioning assistant. After all that time learning how to use their program to do the captioning, I spend AT LEAST an hour captioning a ONE MINUTE VIDEO and it is EXTREMELY tedious and frustrating. I sync up everything and time it all PERFECTLY, only to have the program refuse to let me add the last line at the end (with 3 seconds remaining, which IMO should be enough) because they're worried about some sort of error. So they tell me to re-sync everything using "advanced synching technology" or whatever bullshit they called it. I do my best to alter everything but it just ruins everything and throws everything off. At some point I givve up and just say F*** THIS! I hate this job already and I haven't even GOTTEN it yet! This is so tedious and frustrating and time consuming! It's just not worth it! And then one of the staff come in to tell me it's PAST time for everyone in the building to leave an I tell him "Alright, just let me shoot off an email to my employment specialist about this first" telling her basically what I wrote here: "Screw this. I don't want this job. Can't figure this out. Have to leave now anyway. I give up. I'd HATE this job if I had it. Just not worth it. Huge waste of time."
**sigh**
I am feeling demoralized right now. None of my job applications have gotten back to me, some of the websites I sign up to apply on have technical errors that make it impossible to sign in, the USF Publix turns me down after the interview and now this. I feel like I can't seem to catch a break here. And I have an ABSURDLY large UMS goal. But even when my goal was just "make more money" barely anything happened toward that end. On the other hand, the highly aggressive dorm of E3 seems to be working.
Told my mom about the captioning thing and how even if I had the job, I wouldn't want it. She went into her usual "When I was blah blah blah I had to do blah blah blah" schpiel. She doesn't seem to get that eating shit DOESN'T HAVE TO BE just a natural part of life. She thinks HER reality is ALL of reality. I won't let her reality become MY reality. So help me God.
Day 4 of 24/7 carpetbombing. Got lots of Sleep, but can barely get out of bed or even keep my eyes open to type this on my phone. Got an appointment with my psychological stats tutor in less then 40 minutes. I haven't even rolled out of bed yet. Not good. My subconscious must be fighting HARD by this point.
DY 5 of 24/7 carpetbombing. Tired as hell. Went ti sleep st 7. Had to wake up at 10 for psychology appointment. So fucking tired.
(10-28-2019, 02:18 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]Told my mom about the captioning thing and how even if I had the job, I wouldn't want it. She went into her usual "When I was blah blah blah I had to do blah blah blah" schpiel. She doesn't seem to get that eating shit DOESN'T HAVE TO BE just a natural part of life. She thinks HER reality is ALL of reality. I won't let her reality become MY reality. So help me God.
Man you are being picky. That will not benefit you at this moment. I have been in your place, and was trying to find a way to get what I wanted without having to do some hard work, hoping that it will just resolve itself. But it didn’t. I had to get of my ass and figure shit our myself. That’s the path to getting what you want, not having something fall down into your lap that is just “perfect”, you make your life as you want it as you go along, but you need to go along so to speak. You need movement. You need hustling. You need to grow stronger and take on challenges every day. Even those that you don’t like. Stand out with a job that you don’t like until you find a reason to like it or to affect it in a way that it becomes enjoyable. Sometimes life need to suck a bit for it to become better. There is some pleasure inside going through some pain, because it make you stronger and make you learn what matters. So don’t use subliminals as an excuse to keep sitting on your ass and not trying because “some day it will override the resistance and life will be just wonderful and all joy”. That’s not going to happen. It will make you better, help you overcome emotional stuff that can hold you down, but how many subliminals and how strong technology, life will need from you to move forward. You are the captain of your life. Take back responsibility for it by getting your hands dirty and not being discouraged while moving forward. Keep hustling, I promise you you will find joy from it in the long run.
Your mother is most likely trying to show you an example of when she went through hardships to help you get the idea how to get moving, not to manipulate her beliefs into you.
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